Dash. Konall. Catrina.

They've already made their apperance in this mission, and there were still a couple more to come.

Next up, as it turns out, is the nastiest, most black hearted of the KOKOL bunch so far.

Raw Hide's got a point to prove, as you'll see below. Despite winning the previous mission, and showing his fearness nature, he felt overshadowed, literally, by the 8 foot Moon native known as TheChad. Raw's ego comes across quite clearly as he fights his way up the mountain, dealing with an in-game object in a way I'm sure quite a few of us wanted to do in KOL itself at one time or another! There's brutal moments, and there's funny moments.

This's the first of a couple apperances in roleplays by Raw Hide. Check out "Raw Hide vrs. the Mountain!"

I am Raw Hide. I am the greatest of all warriors within KoKoL. But then, along came Chad. When that behemoth from Jarlsberg knows where came to the Villa, I couldn’t take it. I saw his size and I saw how strong he was and I just couldn’t take it. I had to get away. I needed to train. I needed to become stronger. I will always be the supreme power in the Kingdom and none shall stand against me.

I knew that the cold would remind me of home. That would make me strong again. I had to make my way up the mountain. I packed all of my weapons and went to set up camp on Mt. McLargeHuge. I would train in everything. Even carrying the gear up the mountain would prove a trying experience. I needed all the strength I could get from this training. I knew I would be needed sooner than later. Those weaklings can’t rely on Chad. He’ll fold under the pressure.

I slipped through the Big Mountains without any difficulty. I didn’t bother slinking around like some cowardly lizard. I walk tall and proud. If anything gets in my way I kill it. That’s why nothing gets in my way.

As I approached Mt. McLargeHuge, I spotted a small cabin. An old man was seated on his front porch looking up the mountain. When he spotted me, he came my way. “Howdy there, youngin’. I reckon yours headin’ up that there mountain. As you've probably already reckoned, I'm the L337 Tr4pz0r. I live 'round these parts, and I make my living tradin' furs. Or, maybe I oughtta say I used to make my living that way. The way up to the Icy Peak, where I do most of my huntin', has been blocked by all manner of ornery critters, and I need your help opening the way again."

"The first step, Adventurer, is to get me the materials to make us some weapons. I reckon 3 chunks of linoleum ore oughta do the trick. You can find some over at Itznotyerzitz Mine, on the other side of the mountain. I reckon the Dwarves over there won't take too kindly to you just bargin' in and stealin' their ore, so you'll have to figure out some way to disguise yerself before you can get in deep enough to find any."

“Listen! I don’t care what you reckon. I’m heading up that mountain to train. Trust me. Lots of those “critters” will be dead. I’ll bring you back whatever is left over.” I don’t think anyone had ever stood up to his annoyance before. He was speechless. I was glad. I hate babbling old fools.

A path led up the mountain so I decided to follow it. It led me to a place full of goats. I knew I’d be frequenting this place often for some food. As I continued up the slope, I found a bunch of orcs. They were snowboarding and drinking. I would come to hate these things. These orcish frat boys seemed to do nothing but make noise. They smelt grotesque and they were ugly. However, they make excellent target practice as they move down the slope. I finally reached the peak. I found myself a nice cave in which to sleep. I crawled in only to find it occupied. A huge ram stepped toward the entrance to meet me. I figured it would be an easy kill. Then it charged. I grabbed it horns only to be thrown in to the ceiling of the cave.
“So the training begins,” I thought. I knew I could take this thing. I swung myself around so that I’d land on his back. I had him. He tried to buck me off but I was too strong. Or so I thought. The beast charged the entrance and then stopped. That was one fast stop. He threw me down the mountain. My equipment went flying everywhere and I landed so far down that I was fortunate enough that I could use a frat boy to ease my fall. Luckily for me, my sword was still on my back. That’s one less annoyance for me to deal with later.

I started picking up my weapons. They were scattered all over. I was going to make that ram die slowly and painfully. As I searched I found a weapon that wasn’t mine. It was extremely over elaborate. Then I looked up to behold an ice structure. It was the lair of the Ninja Snowmen. I tried to enter but was immediately impeded by the snowmen. They said my intentions were not in line with their teachings.

This was perfect. I had forgotten all about these warriors. They had techniques that would make me stronger than I had ever dreamed. If only I could learn. And so I did. I watched them for the past 3 months. I watched how they moved and how they trained. It was hard though since they have no limbs except for those sticks and carrots. Not a day went by that I did not sweat from the training. I almost quit. My stomach was ready to burst from all of the raw goat meat I was eating. I needed relief. Then I remembered my motive. I needed to beat that Chad. I redoubled my efforts and trained harder and instead of just the booze and cheese I got from my goats, I began trudging to the peak and tasting the finer things. Picking off those orcs became child’s play. They still annoy me to no end. They’re almost as bad as the stupid hippies.

When I finally was satisfied with my training, I came back to my cave. When I returned, I found a note. There was a new mission which needed my tending to. It mentioned no treasure, no gold, no power or prestige. It mentioned only legends and myths. I just wasted a large chunk of my life. If people were to see my greatness, I would have to do this. This mission would be my proving grounds.

I remember this island too. I passed it on my way to the kingdom. I remember it well because that’s where those hippies live. This should help because just knowing they are near by is enough to get my blood boiling for battle. Ah, I could feel the lust for battle seething up within me even then.

However, it had to subside. I had a more pressing emotion to deal with. RAGE! When I reach my boat, it had been vandalized. The boat of my arrival to the kingdom was demolished. I could always get plans and planks and build a dinghy but that wasn’t the point. I was so pissed I pissed. That was the last straw. I wasn’t taking a boat. I’d swim if I had to. I had a plan though. Yes, I the mighty Raw Hide would form a masterful plan and destroy the dragon myself.

I ran to the kingdom and pulled out all kinds of maps and histories from the Cola Wars. I realized I took the long way around the kingdom if I passed that island on my way from the north. Oh well. The maps also revealed a possible means by which to approach the island. There is an archipelago of islands which extends all the way from the mainland to the island. Bridges between these islands to the main island seemed like a viable means of transport. There was also a paragraph about some kind of a swamp which swallowed up an entire battalion. There was also some evil creature living in the swamps. If I could find a way through that swamp, I can probably make it to the island as well. Creatures are the least of my worries.

I spent the entire day in that stupid building studying those texts. I found nothing concrete about that dragon. I was mad as hell. So I decided a trip to the mysterious island would clear my head.

I scoured the southern shore of the island. I started at the woods and worked my way around until I was due east of the Naughty Sorceress’ tower. I found only two places where a bridge had once hung. I also saw busted bridges out more on the islands. That blew my whole theory of the bridges. GRRRR!

Nothing is ever as easy as I would like. Why can’t I just have some freakin’ wings? I back tracked until I found that swamp. The smell itself was sickening. I found no redeeming qualities in that swamp. There wasn’t much to kill, no life to talk to. Not even birds to listen for. I was truly alone there. That might seem peaceful but the smell took even that away.

Amongst my gagging on the very air I breathed, I could hear water. When I found the source of the sound, I wasn’t quite sure it was water. The river bubbled up from some underground source that came from the side of a huge cliff. This was also the source of the smell. At the point I saw the source, my stomach decided to empty itself into the stream. Plumes of smoke came from the dark liquid. I knew that wading through could be dangerous. I decided there must be a bridge to cross it.

After following the stream for what seemed like hours, I found a bridge. An eerie feeling took me as I neared the bridge. It was disturbing. I am Raw Hide, champion of all. I feel no fear. I fear not even death. I wasn’t afraid. I just had an odd feeling about this bridge. Lucky for me, I had trained my senses on the mountain. I heard the dart coming at my head and was able to dodge it.

A dark skinned beast stood on the other side of the bridge and was approaching me. “Who are you and what business have you in my swamp foreigner?” He seemed to bear the weathering of time and battle. His voice was cold and full of hatred.

“I am going to the Island of Mystery, now stand aside!” I replied. “I have no qualms with you. However, if you refuse me passage, I’ll rip off you face and see to it that your howls of pain are heard to the edges of the earth.” That caught his attention.