The subtitle of "T'was the Night Before Boris" sets this one at the end of.. er.. some KOL year. We make a little use of a flashforward to a part of the story that ended up coming sometime in part two, I believe it was. Catrina's still seriously pissed at Dash. You can tell. Not the first time and not likely to be the last time. Feena's in over her head, and Fluffy doesn't seem as confident as usual, either! With Dash and Catrina half at each other's throats, will the arrival of Raw Hide and his dubious new "allies" swing things in KOKOL's favor?

Although I always put a lot of effort and some worry into ensuring I get players' characters written properly during this, a I have a lot of fun writing them, as well. Fluffy and Raw might be two of my favorite characters to write for Finales and Rollovers. Both have the right personality to have some fun with, even as I try to keep them seeming like legitimate adventurers. Fluffy and Raw are just awesome to write for, honestly!

Can you tell it's a monster, size wise? And it's the first of three parts, as well! That's getting to be a habit for AIL- Finales broken down into three parts. Since they tend to take up our time doing the finales, I like releasing them in chunks so the players aren't forced to endure the longest wait possible then digest it all at once.
It's also nice to get some instant feedback on the first two parts, which I can incorporate into the rest of the Finale, if I choose.

  Anyway, here it is. With all it's infighting, arguing, joking, and warring with the Elite 7!

(PART ONE) The very near future. . .

 
Catrina Whiteclaw dodged between a narrow groove of trees separating Miscellaneous Mountain and Mt. McLargeHuge, two regions in the Big Mountains area. Even at the mountain's base, the whip of the cold wind from above chilled the mountain's bottom. Catrina wasn't really used to this cold. After all, she'd grown up and lived most of her life far to the south. That all changed when she followed Sebastian Dash up north to the Kingdom of Loathing. It changed again, unfortunately, when Dash abandoned her in the middle of a very important, personal conversation between the two.

At least the snow drifts would act as concealment for Catrina's white fur, which served to keep the cold at bay, anyway. His scent grew stronger as she hunted. He was leading her into a trap, most likely. She figured He'd try to ambush her if He was able, most likely at a place of His choosing. He'd keep the fight as far away from her allies as He could.

Better for Catrina. Even if it meant a one on one situation, He could well be enough to do her in. He'd be her match when she was at full strength, and Catrina had gone through a massive battle already . . . and if it turned out He wasn't alone.. .. Catrina shook her head, forcing herself to focus on the here and now.

Only one scent so far, although she figured there could still be some trick in play. She didn't want to die, but He was too dangerous to live. Catrina wasn't yet sure what she'd do when the moment of truth came. She could sense it would be soon.

 
--------------

 
(PART TWO)

 
Half an hour before now. . .

 
Raw Hide had just finished single handedly destroying two, no, three vicious Snakkles, the snake/ tree hybrid who's tasty venom was often distilled to make the popular Seaside Town drink of the same name, when one of his new penguin "allies" showed up, eyeing the carnage.

"You're too late!" Raw Hide snarled, his warrior heart still beating proud under his warrior chest and his warrior ribcage. "Only three of 'em, and I got them all!"

The penguin was small, and obviously young. Alas, he was in poor shape, as he held a tender, chipped crutch under one fin.. Awwwww, so cute!

"Quite well, sir, you trumped me expertly!" He answered, with a chippy, upbeat spirit that can only come from hilariously tragic stock characters. "Sir, I come to you bearing news, though I must admit, I'd be quite disturbed by the presence of those odd snakes in the mountains."

"What's wrong, kid? What news?" Raw Hide joked. "Scared of snakes?"

"Only slightly, but I meant this letter, to which I shall now engage in handing you," the child penguin with the crutch answered. "Please, sir. Call me Tommy. Tommy Tim. Tiny Tommy Tim. My friends call me 'Tinny,' though."

"How confusing," Raw Hide said as he snatched the note out of the kid's hand. Then he remembered his new moral code. He was forgetting something. Yell at the kid for not handing it faster? Beat him for it? No. . . . Oh, wait!

"Thanks, kid." Yes, that was what he was forgetting. Raw Hide tossed him a piece of fur as a gesture of thanks, even though Raw didn't get a delicious Cloaca Cola with the letter. "I'll just muddle the name thing further needlessly, and call you Timmy."

"Quite unnecessary, sir!" He offered. "Feel free to simply point at me and say, 'Hey, you!' in a manner befitting of my superior."

"Quiet, Timmy." Raw Hide had to concentrate a bit on reading the letter. He denied it was due to lack of practice reading and instead blamed the handwriting. Even though it was typed. (Raw Hide hadn't heard of a typewriter yet, apparently.) "Hmmm, you think there's some sorta 'beast master' 'in play,' and you want me to 'meet' your forces 'on' Mount Noob? Is that the gist of it?"

"I wouldn't know, Sir," Timmy.. Tiny? Tinny? .. answered. "I only know how to read exceptionally basic or cute words."

"Whatever, kid," Raw Hide answered. "Guess it's time to bust some pengui - I mean, to help the penguins bust some heads!"

And with that, and a bare minimum of additional banter, he was off to meet his new penguin friends!

And not kill him. Maybe he should write that part on his palm?

 
=-----------

 
A handful of minutes ago, leading into the present. . .

 
Catrina Whiteclaw, FeenaMancy, Sebastian Dash, and Fluffy Hamster had found their progress up Mt. Noob interrupted three times. The first, a goat, took care of itself by missing Dash and slipping off the edge of the cliff. The second, a bar and another goat, proved to be only slightly tougher, giving Feena and Catrina time to jump into the fight, which then became a massacre.

The third fight had proven to be a mismatch as well. Unfortunately, this time found the Kingdom of KOL's squad on the wrong side of the beating!

The Jester King of Beasts impeded their attacks, and was able to become physically ethereal, allowing their physical and magical attacks to pass through him harmlessly! Fluffy tried a magic attack, only to have the flame pass through the strange Jester King. Further demonstrating his power, the Jester King deflected the magic back at Fluffy. Even Fluffy's ice magic didn't stop it! Fortunately, out of instinct, Feena, still clutching Fluffy, rolled to the last side.

Presperious Penguin had arrived just in time to see the whole thing from his superior vantage point. It took him a while before he acted. He had to be sure these filthy, disgusting humans were truly the allies he'd been sent to protect. Presperious circled around the fight, using his knowledge of the area to secure a natural vantage point. It took a while, but he was kinda interested in learning about this wise guy he was up against, anyway. From the looks of it, he'd be a made penguin if he took this Marmaluke out.

His power was something else, though. Fortunately, no one noticed as Presperious snuck up on this "Jester," as he'd called himself. The Jester himself might have faded away had he been paying attention, and therefore heard the sound of a kneecapping stick being slipped from it's hiding spot into Presperious's fin.

Even as the fight raged on, with the two Adventures with the swords exposing a weakness, Presperious Penguin slipped closer, closer, even inching closer behind the closest snowcovered trees and natural rock formations. Despite the distance between him and his pray, his the wind was at his side. Along with his exceptional hearing - for a penguin- he could pick up on what they were saying.

That one with the two swords kind of looked like what the well studied Mafia penguin members assured him was a "cat," only more human than that. It was one of the adventurers, as the big smelly one had called them.

She just called him idiot! Perfect! The .. War Hype, was that his name? He'd called his friends a bunch of idiots! It must be an affectionate term to humans. Idiots. Presperious had to hurry. He could already hear Spencer Sciformigu, Forsten Giuseppe, and Mario Monophycesco coming to help. Spencer's job was to make first strike and signal the others.

Then he heard the female feline cry out, "Bright Goddess, protect us in our need!"

Presperious's attention snapped back to the present. He STILL wasn't sure what was going on. He inched closer, ready for his strike, hiding behind a tree. He caught the faintest whisper of .. something he couldn't see? Or did that bunny girl who was lying on her back have an exceptionally high, somewhat whiney, slightly annoying voice? Anyway, something said a question that ended with ".. have your stuff, Dash."

That was enough confirmation for Presperious. The name Dash.. Besides, what were the odds of one band of adventurers wondering around with a rabbitperson AND a catperson?!

Presperious only had seconds to act. He flung himself down the icey slope, sliding on his belly for speed and potential defense against predators. No way he'd be able to get there before the first strike. Maybe he could save whoever survived it? And if not, he'd look all the better for surviving himself.

If he could survive til backup got there. Everything slowed down in his mind with the rush of excitement. Something small crawled from under the female, looking determined and blurry. It stood on it's hind legs. Weird, yet not as weird as it's next action. Mumbling something about missed sleep, demanding yet another bag of sunflower seeds, awesome magic, tricks not working, and Dash sucking. It then fired a lightning fast bolt of .. er.. lightning at the mysterious Jester mook and took off running! Fast little bugger, but what- oh no. The being phased out of exitance with Presperious sliding at it belly first down an icy slope! There'd be no way to stop.

Presperious would simply pass through the being as he was phased out. Hmm . . . the lightning turned back and chased the hamster! The lightning suddenly wasn't all that fast. The tiny little fluffball simply created an upwind from fire and ice magic, letting it sail over the bolt of lightning, now apparently controlled ineptly by ... Presperious didn't quite catch his name. Jester King?

The so called King was so focused on trying to catch the Hamster with the lightning that he let his body materialize! The hamster kept trying to lead the lightning back to the source, only to get cut off and barely avoid being fried by his own lightning.

Presperious hadn't realized how close he was! Desperately, Penguin extended his fin.

Score! The kneecapping stick connected solidly with the so called King's knee! Presperious had gotten full speed, too! The Jester King of Beasts cried out in agony! As it hopped around comically, Fluffy lead the lightning towards the JKotB, dodging at the last second so it blasted the Jester in the ankle!

Catrina shook her head, wondering what had just happened. Dash looked equally as confused, still struggling to force himself up. The two were still stunned, and confused. Fluffy couldn't help but admit to a little confusion himself. After all, a Penguin Mafia member had appreantly just saved them!

Fluffy scuffled up the Jester King of Beast's leg, then jumped off with an artic blast that staggered it back. Fluffy then turned toward the Penguin Mafia member, deciding weather to treat the penguin as an ally or enemy.

The two squared off. Presperious felt his hot penguin temper rising as the tiny fluffball starred at him. "What're you lookin' at?!"

"Something ugly!" Fluffy shot back with an intimidating squeak. Ya know, as intimidating as a squeak can be.

"Why you little, hey! Talking hamster!" Presperious jumped back in confusion.

"Yeah, so what?" Fluffy squeaked. "Don't hate me 'cause I'm cuter and smarter than you!"

"Why, you little!" The penguin replied. "I oughta. . . ."

"You mean you oughtta TRY!" Fluffy squeaked in retaliation.

"Whazzat mean?!"

"What do you THINK it means?" Flurry growled. I think. Eh, let's call it a half growl and round down.

"Alright!" A voice boomed out from the near distance. Raw Hide!! Flanking him were another half dozen penguins. Mafia penguins.

Fluffy turned to him to ask what was going on, only to be interrupted by a feral, ferocious growl from Catrina.

"Alright, play nice, the penguins. . . " Raw started.

"Temporary allies, got it!" Catrina roared. The others looked over her, surprised she had such fight in her already. She discarded a pirate's flask as she spoke. Dash, still struggling to force himself to his feet, figured it must have been from Coconuts, one of the pirates they'd ran into during their last mission. Dash took a few healing herbs he'd kept himself from the island as Catrina continued.

"We STILL need to finish this joker off, before he gets away!" Catrina pointed towards the Jester King of Beasts, who was still rubbing his sore knee after the debilitating kneecapping attack. He turned towards Catrina, cackling.

The Jester Immitted "His" voice again. "Too slow, cat!"

He turned, ready to phase out of exitance. No sooner had he gotten the words out of his mouth, then Catrina rushed at him, ignoring Dash's protests. Before he could turn intangible, Catrina drove her shoulder into the small of his back, stunning him.

The force of a female humanoid lioness is hardly negligible. The Jester Clown's body flew forward, slamming into the tree. Catrina went to slice his head off in one swoop, only to find her paw empty.

Oh, that's right- her swords had been knocked clear of her hands earlier!

"Catrina, hold for backup!" Dash called, rubbing his very sore swordarm.

"Catrina!" Feena called out, still shaking from the heat of the battle. "Catrina, watch out!"

Catrina switched to her claws, preparing to slice him open before he could regain his wits. As she leapt, a random RAM slammed into her mid pounce.

Damn. The ram sent Catrina flying. She ducked and rolled as she hit the ground to minimize the impact. A solitary ominous black raven landed on the goat's horns, promising a dark future to all who opposed it.

"I knew it," Dash proclaimed as he darted into the fight, readying his broadsword, Bad Beats for action. "Trap?"

"Lousy trap," Raw Hide called out. "Alright, Penguins, you want revenge on those Knob Goblin jerks? Let's go abuse animals!"

The penguins shuffled nervously.

"Er," Raw Hide corrected, "Animals that ain't penguins! .. Or our allies, I guess."

Then there was cheering among the penguin. Catrina ignored it, let out a primal scream, and clawed at the random ram. The raven randomly flew away, letting out it's own ravenlike shriek at Catrina.

"Catrina!" Dash called at her.

"Not now!" Catrina hissed, avoiding a random charge from the ram. It missed her and crashed. However, the raven took the opportunity to peck at Catrina's head, much to her annoyance.

"I think you'll be needing this!" Dash cried out, rushing to help her.

"I'm FINE! I don't need - " she instinctively caught her katana midair, so Dash tossed the other one. "Oh."

"You're welcome," Dash mumbled under his breath, turning to see the new threat. Looks like the Jester King's "King of beasts" title was literal, as a horde of animals and beasts alike had gathered, seemingly from nowhere. Dash frowned. "Remember, avoid getting blood on yourself! The last thing we wanna do is attract the yeti monsters."

"Ha!" Raw Hide bellowed out, turning to face a white lion. "I ain't afraid of no Yeti! If you forgot, I took a whole army of 'em out the last time!"

"Eh?!" The penguin, Spencer Sciformigu, cried out suspiciously. "When'd THIS happen?!"

"Er. . . when I heard of the KNOB GOBLINS assault on your villa, I felt obliged to rush up to avenge you and look for survivors."

"Oh." The penguin kneecapped a passing drunken goat. It looked as if he'd add something, but he was distracted as his penguin partner cried out, "It's'a me, Mario!" and jumped on a goomba's head. Ironical.

Dash resisted the urge to press Raw Hide on the fabrication. He supposed Fluffy might have, but Fluffy was sleeping in Feena's hands as she watched Catrina, trying to calm Catrina down out of her battle lust.

"Great, reinforcements," Dash said in note of the incoming small Knob army.

"Then bring them on NOW so I can get through them and get to finding Him!" Catrina demanded, as one of her blades found the soft underbelly of another Bar.

You gonna finish eatin them thar bar guts on the flar? Er.. floor?

"Catrina, are you sure that's such a good idea?" Dash dodged a goat ram while Raw Hide bellowed at the top of his lungs and lead the penguins into battle with the Knob Goblin mini army. This was insane. All these beats, the Jester King, and now Knob Goblins?!

"I don't care!" Catrina yelled back as she continued to fight off whatever came close to her. She screeched something at the animals in Felinese, but none of them seemed to understand her. Dash certainly didn't. "As soon as Lord Idiot here's finished off, I've got some thing important to tend to!"

The Jester King regained his composer, then laughed maniacally. His voice shifted dramatically as he laughed, before he spoke in that disturbing voice of his. "I'm afraid any plans you've got will have to be canceled on account of a REIGN OF DEATH!"

"Bring it!" Raw Hide yelled defiantly.

The Jester King of Beasts pointed his staff at the KOKOL warriors and the Penguin Mafia support. "Knob Goblins- DESTROY THEM!"

And unbeknownst to any of them, a dozen or so penguins had split away from the faction before Raw Hide met up with the six who'd come with him. The other six even now crept up the pathways, sidestepping the conflict altogether, their intentions utterly sinister. . .

 
=-=-=-=-=-

 
Sometime AFTER the end of part two . .

 
For all the hell they'd gone through, Dash wasn't about to let her face this alone. Somewhere, her mysterious "He" was waiting for her, and something about the situation made Dash's hairs stand on end.

He'd told her he'd go with the others to keep Feena safe, and it was half true. He'd done that for five minutes, before leaving her with the others and ducking back to follow Catrina.

Dash knew he'd be up against her animalistic senses. He couldn't get anywhere near close to her, even with her being distracted by her current obsession.

He also had an idea how she thought and hunted after all their time together. This, he hoped, would give him enough of the edge he needed.

Her life- and his- counted on it.