The first of two parts for Degrassi, and we get into the action in this one!

Degrassi Knoll is a town from the Kingdom of Loathing game, which we use as a setting for this game. I added South Degrassi as a "village" during a little co write with Prince Blahking way back in AiL's "Mission zero."

Unlike KOL, we established that Degrassi Knoll had fallen under the subtle "influence" of both the Knob Goblins and Penguin Mob, who were at terrible odds. The sample mission focused on Degrassi. It was then mostly ignored until the Season Finale, when, under the leadership of Catrina Whiteclaw, the Feline Empire caused a revolution.. but only against the Penguins and Adventurers.

This is KOKOL's quest to fix that problem.

(Todd and Dash opening written by Dash)

 
An especially harsh sun shone on Degrassi Knoll, even as the rolling thunderclouds in the distance promised a mighty storm would sweep the city and its cousin village South Degrassi soon, providing a mix of harsh sunlight and high humidity to make a very uncomfortable noon.

Like clay left in the sun far too long, the Feline Empire's sudden occupation had far more cracks in the foundation than one might see from a distance. Sebastian Dash and Todd Blackpaws saw more cracks as they continued into the city. Announcing they were a part of the KOKOL was generally out of the question, so Todd played the part of a Muri-Dan. Dash dressed himself as a monk, but in the style of Knob Goblins. After all, Catrina or Cattaras or whoever was in charge here- had taken great care to smear the name of any adventurers not acting on behalf of the Feline Empire. It would only take one stray mention of the clan to the wrong people and Dash figured there'd be a reign of Feline Empire soldiers looking to make a name as the ones who killed off Todd Blackpaws and Sebastian Dash.

Although Dash didn't mind bending the facts a little, most of what he said about the Knob Goblins was the absolute truth. Stirring up discontent proved fairly easy; not everyone was as happy with the Feline Empire and Catrina's new order as they'd have the general public believe. However, there were those fanatical believers of Catrina's ideas. Dash and Faline split up earlier. Dash noticed Todd ducking into an alleyway ahead, and quickly caught up with him to exchange updates.

"Good news," Dash started.

"I'll go first, then, since the news here isn't quite so good."

"Go ahead."

"Cattaras is up to making trouble." Todd gave his tail an involuntary worried flick.

"That cat is always stirring some plot or another up."

"True, but from the sounds of it, he's intent on sparking up riots and political upheaval."

The two continued walking further uphill towards the center of town. Dash considered Todd's news. "Why raise trouble in a land they pretty much control already?"

Todd shrugged. "As an excuse to take over, I'd guess. After all, there's still Mayor Zapruder and his assistants, not to mention the Degrassi Merchant's Board."

"He shouldn't have to do much to spark a riot." Dash glanced around to make sure no one would overhear. "There's more than a few people who are hesitant to throw support in with the Feline Empire.. but you can guess what happens to those who question it too loudly."

Todd just nodded, wondering if they were prisoners or corpses by now. There'd be time to sort that out soon, he expected. His head jerked up as he sniffed out a threat. "Ah, let's discreetly change directions."

Dash followed without comment into a nearby bakery.

"Muri-Dan," he whispered as they entered. "Hopefully, the bakery scents will keep their noses off of our scent."

Dash's annoyance was palatable. "I've seen gangs in the process of forming. I'd be surprised if we weren't looking at a mob situation in ten minutes or less."

Todd sniffed the air again, and picked up a few familiar scents. "I'm beginning to think we could be in trouble."

"No kidding."

"Dash?"

Todd spun around at the unfamiliar voice. The store was otherwise empty.. and the store keep looked rather human. Todd prepared for a fight, but Dash put a hand on him. "Don't worry," Dash explained. "He's a friendly."

"Do I even want to know why you're palling around with a Muri-Dan?" Those violet eyes quickly looked him over. "Nevermind. Good disguise."

"Janos," Dash greeted him in a low voice. "One of KOKOL's hires for the war."

Todd sniffed the air again. "And it seems we have a couple more surprises here.. one who's scent I'd recognize anywhere."

Taking that as her cue, Lapine stepped out from the back. "He helped me watch over you when I was trying to heal you. So I'm acting as the brains for these two!"

A disco bandit, standing an even five foot but with a presence that made him seem much bigger, stepped into view. This one had a confidence much like Janos, but his was a more easy going stance. He lifted the cloak back from over his head to reveal short cropped brown hair. "Shadow Darkstep at your services, assuming you're allies to our rabbit here. Otherwise, I'll be killin' you in quick order. Nothin' personal, gents."

"Relax, they're cool.." Lapine said, eyeing Dash up and down. "Should you really even be here?"

"I'm fine, don't worry," Dash answered on instinct alone.

Lapine sighed. "I healed you, Dash. I can tell when you're weak."

"If they're allies," Dash decided, not bothering to address the accusation, "they brings our little army to five. Not a bad start."

"Allies, yes, but hardly an army," Shadow pointed out.

"Don't need an army," Janos answered confidently. "Not with me here."

"Regardless, we need to play it smart," Dash answered in a stern, commanding voice. Now wasn't the time for the five of them to be on different pages.

Janos was clearly used to being on his own and looked ready to argue the point but Shadow stepped in. "He's right. We need to work together to free my homelands."

"Not to gang up on you, but they're right," Lapine commented. "We don't wanna be charging in here."

Janos tilted his head, smiled without much humor, and nodded. "Alright. But this's why I usually work alone. Slightly less disagreements with myself."

Todd chuckled. "And as long as that doesn't change, you can probably still consider yourself fairly sane."

"Like any of us will come out of this sane," Lapine worried.

Todd slid up to her, running his fingers over her cheek and his tail along her leg. "I'm sure I could think of a way to help you keep that sanity.."

"I might like that," Lapine responded with a wide smile and a sigh of anticipation. Janos hmph'ed and turned his attention elsewhere. Shadow slightly smiled and turned to polish a small army utility blade. Dash seemed lost in his own thoughts and memories.

Todd and Lapine continued their playful flirting. None of them picked up the nearby shadow of a dangerous figure outside.

 
(Road to Degrassi Knoll interlude written by Dash)

 
The idea here was that Blake Cutler, Mimi Fujioka, and their new and barely willing associate Shamus XTreme would quickly make their way to Degrassi Knoll to help out with the situation. And yet, our story starts with the irritating whine of Shamus's voice.

"I'm tired!"

"Deal with it, we're not taking a break," Blake warned him in a dreary voice, already tired of the trip.

Shamus dragged his body onwards, then again complained. "My knee hurts!"

Blake didn't sound like he cared, or believed Shamus. "Which knee?"

Shamus didn't answer, instead pulling himself along. After a pause, he complained "My elbow hurts!"

Mimi finally snapped and yelled at Shamus. "There's gonna be a lot hurting if you don't stop whining!"

Shamus looked up, hoping to see something interesting. Like maybe a house being suspended by several dozen balloons. No such luck. The masses of zombies heading towards Seaside Town had proven enough to slow them down- especially since Mimi had a habit of running into groups they could have easily avoided. Blake occasionally stopped to brag and wax about the importance of the match as well.

Blake scanned the area ahead. "Alright, we can break under this tree to regroup."

Mimi came to a full stop, glaring ahead. "But I want to get to Degrassi."

Her voice was cold and serious.

"We'll arrive soon enough," Blake answered. Shamus half sat, half fell next to the tree he'd picked to lean up against. Mimi didn't so much stop moving as stop moving forward; she paced in little circles and long lines near the other two. Blake suddenly smiled, catching sight of something in the distance. "It's time to test our newfound ally's loyalty."

"I thought you said we weren't allowed to beat him up and see how long it took him to run away like a coward?" Mimi asked, confused.

"Unfortunately, we're not," Blake answered, making Shamus wonder what's so unfortunate about that. "No.. I see a former ally of his about to catch up with us.."

"Aw, crap, it's not Inu, is it?!" Shamus wondered. That would be awkward. "Maybe she's here to join.."

"No. Your mage."

"Prince Blahking? We're screwed."

"No, the girl. The ice mage."

"... Larry?"

"Why don't you open your eyes and look?" Blake suggested through gritted teeth. Shamus opened his eyes, and looked wildly confused, seeing a familiar figure standing over him. "Becky?! If you're here to save me, it's okay, I'm with them. You can go back to KOKOL now."

Shamus really was not comfortable with the idea of fighting Becky.

"Nope, I'm with you guys too!" Becky danced in circles then suddenly decided to stop. "Becky time!"

"Becky time?" Shamus repeated with a confused blink.

"Can't touch this!" She danced around and Shamus suddenly noticed there were four Knob Goblins with her. Three male and a female. All but the old looking Knob Goblin were dancing with her. "We're here to join up with ya and help our evil buddies at Degrassi!!" Shamus started to stand up but Becky accidentally elbowed him in the head as he did.

Mimi squealed. "Ohh!! I like this one, let's keep her!"

Shamus didn't get it. What a surprise. "Wait, you're with the Feline Empire, too?"

"Yup, yup, yup!" Becky bounced with excitement at finding another KOKOL friend in the Feline Empire.

Blake just sighed. "Alright, as long as you know I'm leading."

Mimi whispered something into Becky's ears which caused Becky to blush and just nod. As the eight of them took off towards Degrassi Knoll, Blake could have sworn he heard them talking about calendars but wisely chose to ignore it.

 
(Battle at the center of Degrassi Part I written by Catrina and Dash)

Cattaras patrolled the borders of Degrassi alone. He had left his squad of Knob Goblins at the main road into the area and taken to a more stealthy form of reconnaissance.

He prowled alone- finding nothing but the stench of the locals until he stopped near the border and growled. Two scents- one that he didn't recognize beyond the fact that it was a Vulpin from down home- the other that he recognized all too well. "Choosing the right way drive you to suicide, meat?"

He growled to himself and set off, tracking the scents expertly as they wound their way through the city from one disaster to the next- including one dead Muiri-dan General! Every twist and turn in their trail, obviously designed to put off other trackers, was easily straightened out by the tiger, and soon he was near them as they stood- downwind of course, Cattaras knew that the Vulpin had the second most sensitive noses in Aldara. But the scents from a nearby bakery masked him- and the Vulpin was thinking with his balls and not his brains at the moment. (Although looking at her for a second, Cattaras had to agree with his thinking.)

"Well.... look at who we have here." He growled, placing the identity of the object of Todd Blackpaw's affection as he burst in, ready to deal with the intruders to Degrassi Knoll. This is the point he realized the other two in the bakery were with Dash.

"Hey, it's just the guy we were looking to take down." In a heartbeat, Dash had his longsword at the ready.

Cattaras didn't show any anger. Instead he chuckled. "Did your Goddess tell you to do that, meat?" The way he spoke her name would have had his mother in fits, probably.

"How about we send you to ask in person?" Dash prepared to rush in with an attack when suddenly, just out of his peripheral range, Janos took matters into his own hand by ripping the cash register free of the wooden desk and hurling it at Cattaras. There was an explosion of keys, coins and meat flying out of the cash register, but the force was enough to send Cattaras flying through a nearby window. Janos quickly followed him through the window before the others could react.

As he hit the ground outside hard the local Goblin troops rushed up to him. Recognizing him, they turned toward the broken window. He stood and growled. "You may have the furbags and the string bean as your playtoys- but the clown is mine. ATTACK!" He roared and charged with the others. Showing impressive battle expertise, Janos managed to catch the much faster Cattaras coming in with a double boot to the gut. Enough force to stun even the tiger like Cattaras. Janos then slipped around behind Cattaras, grabbed him by the tail, and threw him backwards again.

"And they said never grab a tiger by the tail" Janos confidently and sarcastically taunted Cattaras, so far unimpressed as he approached the downed Cattaras.

But Cattaras had managed to roll with the last throw into a crouch- and as his opponent neared him he sprung forward on powerful legs, driving his mass into Janos' gut. Janos stumbled back, hands moving to the dull blue leather covering his midsection. His fingers came away fresh with blood. Cattaras continued to attack, nailing him with a spinning back hand. "There is more to a tiger than his tail, fool!" Cattaras growled as he continued to spin, bringing even more momentum into a high kick to Janos' head!

Devastating.

Lapine pushed her way through the door, and immediately blasted Cattaras with a spooky rayblast. Smelling the scent of old horror novels and McCommunism propaganda, he easily dodged the blasts, although it forced him back.

"What are you waiting for? GET THEM!" Cattaras ordered. The Knob Goblin guards rushed forward. Lapine took the first couple out with a sleaze blast, and prepared to throw an ice grenade at the two. Unfortunately, the next set of Knob Goblins slammed into her, causing the ice grenade to fly out of her hands. Dash caught it and hurled it at the nearest Knob Goblin, causing it to go down covered in a heavy frost. Meanwhile, Shadow snuck out from the other side of the bakery, pulling a haiku katana free and aiming to get a more advantageous attack on the enemy.

Cattaras roared and sprang forward, this time deciding to get rid of the other combatants before having his fun. He growled at Lapine, smirking. "I remember you, bunny bitch! And I have a little gift for you." He chuckled, quite menacingly.

"Naw, you and I got the first dance." Dash parried the sword at Cattaras, more than familiar with Cattaras's attack patterns by now. As Dash took his attention, Shadow Darkstep leaped wordlessly at him from behind- only to be intercepted by a small and agile feminine body that twisted through the air with a grace to match any gymnast. This newcomer, dressed in bright pink and purple leather, caught Shadow midair with a kick, sending him backwards even as she flipped and landed on her two feet. She was quickly joined by six oversized Knob Goblins.

"Ahhhhhahahahahayiyiyiyiyhahaha! Little kitty, make sure you tell our leader, Jester King of Beasts, about my splendid assistance!"

Cattaras smirked at the little one. "I will be certain to do so, little one." He then turned back to Dash and his expression hardened. "Now, if that is the last one who you have ready to save you from the inevitable- shall we begin?" Cattaras took a fighter's stance, ready for Dash to attack.

"So that's it?" Dash kept his distance, opting to get into his head instead. "You took an entire town prisoner for the sake of getting another showdown? I'm flattered, but don't you think this was a little drastic?"

Cattaras snorted. "Don't give yourself delusions, meat. Our taking over of this area is exactly as it seems. I just knew that putting a 'no admittance' sign out would attract you here like a fly to honey. All I had to do was wait- and keep my claws sharp." He now expressed those claws and bared his fangs.

Dash smiled a bit before attacking. "I'm supposed to believe you have any more influence under Catrina than you did as Daisuke's lackey?" With that, he rushed forward, attempting to put Cattaras on the defense.

Cattaras gave an odd look. "We will discuss this- after I cave your skull in!" With that he charged as well, ducking under the swing of Dash's sword and landing a few blows to his opponent's midsection. Dash reeled back, again overtaken by the Cattaras's superior speed. Dash managed to roll to the side to avoid Cattaras's next shot. Dash dropped down without turning and kicked backward, connecting with a hard shot to the back of Cattaras's knee!

Cattaras dropped to the ground because of the kick, rolling and turning to face Dash, before getting back to his feet. Of all things, the big tiger purred! He always found his battles against this human enjoyable- speed and strength against reflex and battle savvy- always close, always grueling... and for the big cat always fun. He circled with him now, letting him have the next move, only to see Dash had moved out of melee range in order to ambush one of the oversized Knob Goblins surrounding Janos.

"I can handle them," Janos assured him. Dash nevertheless sliced the longsword over the back of one of the oversized brutes, drawing a loud and pained scream from it.

"You're going to have to. I don't think my dance partner is ready to sit this one out," Dash answered, turning his attention to Cattaras. Behind Cattaras, Todd started strumming a song in their support- only to find he was playing a giant guitar shaped icicle! He looked around and saw Becky Joy, who waved at him with a smile. Mimi was standing right behind her.

"Sorry, little fox but you're kinda playin' for the wrong team right now!" She giggled. "Literally!"

"Not being one of my evil buddies is mean!" Becky said with an unusually angry glint in her eyes. "You gotta all get in trouble, even my buddy Todd!"

Blake threw himself into the action, while Todd growled and threw his icy guitar as hard as he could at Mimi- who easily dodged it. When she looked however- Todd was nowhere to be seen!

"Oh good! A foxhunt!" She smirked, drawing her pistols. "Well... Tally-ho!" She set off in search of Todd with an angry glare on her face.

"Stay by me, Knob Goblin buddies so they can't kill you!" Becky called out. Her four Knob Goblins gathered around behind her as Shadow ducked under another attack by Mimi, only to find himself parrying off an attack from another oversized Knob Goblin. The Knob Goblin quickly found himself run through by Shadow's short sword. To Shadow's shock, however, the giant Knob Goblin quickly pulled the sword free and hurled it to the side, smiling through the obvious pain at Shadow. He then found his face planted into the ground in front of him as Todd jumped on his shoulders- then dodged a shot from Mimi, who cursed him loudly. "Come back here you damn rat!"

The battles continued to rage, but Dash knew they were in trouble. Dash barely avoided a pounce from Cattaras and turned around, slamming the hilt of his sword into Cattaras's ribs. Dash turned just in time to see Janos snatching a crossbolt out of midair. "Better watch their assassin," Janos warned Dash.

Dash's eyes went wide with disbelief as he spotted the one that just tried to take him out. "Shamus?!"

"The one and only," Shamus replied without much confidence. "Sorry, Mr. Dash. Nothing personal. Maybe you could turn around and leave?"

"Go home," Dash answered with a sigh. "You're out of your league, Sam."

Shamus didn't answer; by the look in his face, an unbiased onlooker could probably tell he agreed with Dash deep down.

Todd stuck his head up from where he was hiding. "Hey- does that mean I can go home too?" He then ducked another shot from Mimi. "Yeah- AFTER I kill your ass!"

Dash didn't have time to acknowledge the vulpin as he was suddenly tackled from behind by a large flying furry object- namely Cattaras, who straddled his body and began to claw him mercilessly. That was cut short as a blast of sleazy, stinky, hot grease scolded Cattaras's back. He turned with a loud roar to see Lapine.

"Hey, bunny you gotta stop doing that or I gotta hurt you!" Becky warned her in a dangerously emotionless voice.

"Becky, I don't want to fight you, but I'm not leaving," Lapine answered sadly. "Why are you with them?"

"Don't ask me that, it makes my thoughts hurt!" Becky answered, preparing to blast Lapine with a powerful ice blast.

Cattaras actually smiled and purred, glancing at Lapine. "Her joining was a fortunate accident. She has brought smiles to that otherwise dreary pit the Goblin King called home- perhaps for the first time." He let his face go stern again, looking at Lapine. "Do not think you can take her back easily."

As he talked, Becky and Lapine started throwing spells at each other. Dash dove at Cattaras, taking him down with a flying kick, but Dash was soon ambushed from behind by Red and Green, while Goblina grabbed his sword hand. Meanwhile, Lapine noticed Shamus taking aim at Dash with that cross bow of his, but Shamus hesitated. This was enough time for Lapine to position herself behind him. Becky fired another ice blast, intent on finishing the fight with Lapine, but Lapine rolled to the side at the last second and the ice blast caught Shamus and Goblina, taking both down! Seeing her shot at ended up hitting her own side, Becky yelled in embarrassment and rage, but soon found herself throwing up one ice shield after another to stop Lapine's offense. Cattaras dove at Dash, trying to ambush him. As he dove, Janos finished off another oversized Knob Goblin, grabbed their helmet, and flung it at Cattaras, catching the big cat midair. The helmet ricocheted off Cattaras's head. Dash slashed Cattaras's body as he stumbled forward; Cattaras fell to the ground, wounded but far from out of the fight.

Todd dodged a couple more shots from Mimi- then suddenly found himself dodging into a blind alley with no escape! "Shit!" He cursed- along with a few more choice words in his native language. He turned- only to see Mimi blocking the way, taking aim at him with her gun. "This is gonna be easier than shooting fish in a barrel- goodbye Mister Fox."

Todd closed his eyes as Mimi pulled the trigger- and the gun misfired!

Todd didn't wait for her to fix what was wrong- or even for his heart to start beating again. He dove for the gungirl, knocking her down and landing on her as heavily as his small frame would allow. They rolled in the dirt, and Todd got a bit bold- and reckless. "Hey babe? What's say after this mission's over you and me..."

He paid for this- and began to think seriously of wearing a cup from now on.

Janos managed to avoid Shamus's crossbow attacks and get behind him. Janos dropped Shamus with a fist to the back of his head, sending Shamus to the ground. Before Janos could press that advantage, he suddenly found himself surrounded by the Muri Dan trinity! In all the chaos, Todd had likely forgotten about having sniffed them out earlier.

"Look what we got to play with, boys. A new toy," Jerome called to the others. Janos realized.. oh yeah.. the good guys were in trouble now!

Another exciting battle for our Season Finale. It's my first shot using both Janos and Shadow. I guess I did okay.

We won't have to wait to find out how this one ends- part II to the Degrassi mission is next!