Ya know, as it turned out, Kadlin's intro somehow got skipped over during the mission, so the writer put it here. It's a strong number. Nothing huge or major.. just Konall returning to town to find.. his sister!

It's also rather blunt, I noticed.

Konall rode his meatcycle down the road to Seaside Town, with Spaz the ADD demon tucked in his coat pocket. He was making good time until he saw a young woman wearing a cloak by the side of the road, trying to hitchhike. He stopped.

"Hi," the woman said. "My horse got eaten about a mile back. I made it out fine, but I don't have a ride, can you take me into town?"

"Sure," said Konall, taking off his helmet.

"Konall, is that you?"

"Kadlin? Sis? What are you doing here?"

Kadlin hefted her staff. "Heard there was a war brewing. Came to chip in."

"Well, put your stuff in the bike's storage compartment and hop on. Interesting weapon, there. You should be using something with an edge. People will think you're some sort of mage."

"Um."

"Kadlin, you didn't become a sauceress in the last few years, did you?" Konall asked.

"Of course not."

"Good."

"I'm a pastamancer."

Konall began to express his opinion of his sister's choice of career.

"Wow," said Spaz. "I think you used every word in the Norse language."

"Nope," said Kadlin. "He left out bjornspawn."

Konall said "I thought I was missing one. Sister, don't you know how dangerous magic is!"

"Whereas running around the battlefield with no way of healing yourself and poor combat skills is perfectly safe. Brother, I'm not as strong as you. I've never been good with a blade. Look, stop hitting your head against that tree. It's not going to change anything."

Konall lifted his head back. Blood trickled down the front of his face. Kadlin began chanting, and her staff glowed white with eldritch power.

Konall said "Don't. It's just a flesh wound."

Kadlin removed her cloak. "Don't be silly. Healum Thisum Idiotus." With the words of power spoken, the wound on Konall's head closed and healed leaving no trace that there had ever been an injury. "You don't have to thank me," she said.

"Don't worry, I won't." With Kadlin's cloak off, Konall could see the outfit she was wearing underneath. He said, "Your clothes! What did you do, rob a hooker?"

Kadlin: "I paid that hooker a fair price. Female wizards draw their power from the air around them and transmit it over the surface of their skin. We need to wear clothes that expose at least 90% of our body to the elements."

"Have you completely lost the values of our people?"

"No, I still kill people and take their stuff. I give myself totally over to battle and take no heed for my own life, only trying to be as deadly and destructive as possible. I've never met a seal and allowed it to remain unclubbed. I just blew up a church the other day. If that doesn't qualify me as a great Viking I don't know what does."

Konall said "Mom said you'd gone into a rebellious phase, but I'd assumed you'd just decided to sleep with anything vaguely male like a normal Viking girl. Why'd it have to be magic? You know how Dad felt about it. You know how I feel about it."

Kadlin replied "I had to seize destiny for myself. It's the Viking way."

Spaz asked "How'd you learn magic anyway? Did you sell your body, mind, and soul to the powers of darkness."

Kadlin said, "Mrs. Kerbopolis."

Konall was shocked. "The darkest fiend in this world! How could you?"

Spaz said "Who's she? Not any demon I've heard of."

"She was Konall's third grade teacher," said Kadlin.

Konall said "I still remember the horrors she put me through. Spelling, math, grammar, science. It was a nightmare. I was made for killing, not thinking."

Kadlin rolled her eyes. "Sometimes the best education is learning to bear suffering."

Konall picked up his sister's cloak, stowing it on the bike, when a box dropped out of it. Curious, the seal clubber picked it up and opened it.

"Don't," Kadlin said, too late.

A skull wearing a chef's hat popped out of the box, supported by a spring. "I have awakened!" it said, "Fear me, mortal, for I am in a terrible mood. I have just dreamt that some harlot took my disembodied brain, stuck it in some random guy's skull, and stuck me in a box that'.." It looked down. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"What's this?" Konall asked.

"Chef-in-a-box," Kadlin replied. "In life he was Xanadon the Defiler, a terrible sauceror whose spells and potions nearly brought an end to civilization. His name was too long, so I call him Fluffy."

Fluffy spoke "An atrocious name that-"

"It's short for, um," Kadlin paused, "Fluffy the Obliterator."

"This pleases me."

Konall said "Okay, what does it do?"

"It' destroys countries," Fluffy said. "It brings death, ruin, and destruction."

"It also makes soup," said Kadlin. "And sauces and potions."

"That too," Fluffy. "You could at least refer to me as 'he.'"

"Don't you worry about him poisoning your cooking?" Konall asked.

"No," said Kadlin "It's too much of a perfectionist. Doing a bad job of cooking or making the wrong potion is beneath it."

Fluffy said, "Even evil has its standards."

Konall said "Kadlin, did you use the dark and evil art of necromancy to imprison this man's soul inside a skull so you could use him as an undead slave?"

"No," said Kadlin. "I flirted with a young necromancy geek and he did all that for me. Look, Konall, this is who I was meant to be. I'm a spell caster and a good one. And I'm going to stay that way."

"You're right," said Konall, "It looks like I'm not going to convince you to change your ways. I'll take you into town. And then I don't want to see you ever again. As long as you're a mage, you're no sister of mine."

This wasn't enough to keep the two apart. Even when one of them eventually "feel from grace," the two continued to work together on occasion.. but this isn't until later.
      Next up, another Kadlin Bearsmasher piece, and then Maximal Thordicus has a piece from his Live RP training!