The unique challenge about AiL was, although I followed both the original game, Mercs, and I'd even been in the second version of the game, Equinox, the rest of koKOL, my clan in the Kingdom of Loathing game, had a fair bit less experience in this - and none of them had experienced either Mercs or Equinox. That's why I set out with the "Issue 0" sample series.

Which meant the honor of doing the first roleplay had to go to me (Dash's handler). It took me a while to get used to roleplaying again - but I think I did okay. This first one is an introduction to Sebastian Dash, and it leads into a co roleplay, where Dash meets the Prince of the koKOL- Prince BlahKing.

Though the final remains of the desert streached much further north, the arid, crisp stifling hot sand of the Kingdom of Loathing's Desert Beach rapidly began shifting to the more welcoming, breezy, open fields of the Nearby plains under the sure and steady hooves of Sebastian Dash's horse, Espa olola.

It hadn't been an easy choice to ride north to the Kingdom, as it had meant selling off most of his possessions he'd built up over the previous eight months spent South of the Border. It was quite a horse, too. Dash'd picked it up down there. He knew from early on, it was a horse he'd want to keep for some time.

Ill winds had been rising in the self styled Kingdom of Loathing, and no one seemed totally sure why. A call for adventurers had gone out. Sebastian fancied himself as something more than a simple adventurer, however. He'd taken on lowly thugs, and dangerous armies, and lived to tell the tale, more often than not coming away victorious.

His presence had been specifically requested yonder north.

Sword strapped to his back, wind blowing through his hair, Dash was making good time across the flat landscapes, while also looking like something out of a movie. Dash was on a mission, no doubt. Although known as a loner, Dash rode north to do the bidding of another. It wasn't especially uncommon for him to go through a 'contact,' so to speak, to get himself a job. He'd also been known to work on groups when it was appropriate for him to do so. He simply preferred to go it alone most of the time.

Dash's mind wandered as his trusty steed sped along towards his meeting with Blahking, the enigmatic self titled "prince" of one of the Kingdom's many, many, many factions. Dash had interacted with Blahking before in the past, when the Prince had attempted to take on the service of Dash, among others, as mercenaries.

Despite his best attempts- and Blahking provided a moving and compelling argument- Dash had decided to maintain his activities down south at the time. He wasn't really the mercenary type, anyway. Even though Blahking had never tabled the job as such, probably knowing Dash would find the idea distasteful, it was clear to Dash that's what the offer was for.

It would be a shame if this urgent request from the King was just a revisit of the recruiting attempt. Especially after Dash had invested so much in making a permanent move to the Kingdom up north. Perhaps Blahking had come to the conclusion Dash would be more receptive to the offer after he'd put the travel time into coming up. If so, he'd be mistaken. Dash meant to judge the merits of whatever Blahking had to say on the value of his words alone.

His intent might be pure, though. It was with Pertene, deep down. Much like this newer threat Blahking spoke of with the Knob Goblins, the dark tentacles of the group reached down into the deep South of the Border.

Dash refocused his mind on the task, pulling Espa olola to a slow, taking note of the chaos ahead.

Moblinos! Up this far north?! Normally, they didn't even go as far north as South of the Border! There were three of them, and none of the three were up to any good. Fortunately, they didn't seem to notice Dash quite yet.

Too occupied with the beauty they were harassing. She looked to be an innocent young lady who'd wondered too far to south of the protective plains. She looked a bit younger than Dash, and not much impressed by her would be robbers. She was clearly smart enough to realize they were dangerous, though.

She'd noticed Dash without alerting them, as well.

"I'm warnin you, chiqua, fork it over!" The Moblinos, who looked like a mix of bulldogs and Spanish Goblins, with pointy ears, ragged handmade (paw made?) leather outfits, and plenty of body stench to spare.

Dash dismounted four dozen feet from where they were standing in a graceful motion. One single silent leap took him a few feet in front of the horse. Keeping himself to at the most blind angle of them, he approached, giving the lady a look that would reassure her, and let her know what he expected of her.

She extended her purse, slowly, purposely fumbling it to stall for time. Without appearing to, she met Dash's eyes. He could tell through the controlled exterior she was afraid. More like terrified.

Yet, she kept her cool. Dash slowed down his phantom like movements as he approached the scene.

"Pick it up, lady!" The more nervous of the two also seemed like the greater threat of the three. "Pick it up!"

Frozen with panic, both real and imagined, she dropped it to the ground.

"Stop acting stupid panicky, stupid!" The other shouted at him, thoughtlessly bending over to snatch the purse. Without letting herself realize the danger of the action, the victim quickly brought her knee up hard into the Moblino's jaw, intent on breaking it.

She might have succeeded if the dog faces weren't so infuriatingly durable. The Moblino looked up at her, holding his jaw, either in rage or about to break out in mocking laughter. Whatever his reaction was to be, it turned to confusion as Dash drove forward, bringing his sword upon the other one, knocking the crude knife out of his hand.

The third one had kept himself silent, off to the side until the point. Dash knew from the second he spotted the third one who'd be the main problem. He immediately charged at Dash, who attempted to run him through with the blade.

Dash hated having to kill, but Moblinos were nothing to be taken lightly. Then again, Dash wasn't sure they actually died when he finished them off, or if they just got summoned back to their dark master. It came as almost a relief when he deflected the blow with his meaty forearm. It's black eyes betrayed it's pain, however, as it yanked it's badly wounded arm back.

The other two, obviously less intelligent, were still stunned from Dash's sudden appearance. There only one Dash hadn't gotten a hit on already charged at him. Dash spun around, butting the Moblino in the back of the head with his sword's hilt. He fell hard into the sparse grayish green grasses of the southernmost Nearby Plains.

Shifting gears, Dash caught the other dumb Moblino coming in with a spin kick, sinking his boots deep into the well protected midsection of the thug. Dash deflected a clumsy attempt from another to stab him, catching his arm, spinning around, and throwing him into the third.

"Adventurer no win! Moblinos fore*" Moblino was cut off as Dash planted a fist in his jaw. Dash had more than enough power to stagger it. A perfectly executed slash from his sword cut through both the Moblino's leather, and his skin. He fell from the near mortal wound, grumbled "No Fair," and vanished in a puff of thick, grey pixilated smoke.

The other two turned on their heels and took off, although the lady pulled a very tiny boomarang out of her pockets. A second later, it expanded in size, allowing her to hurl at at the -Moblinos, now far in the distance. It nailed one, flew towards the other, nailing it before returning to her pocket as if by magic.

She smiled appriciativly at Dash. Dash smiled in return. She really was a beautiful young lady, and obviously an intelligent one. Something in Dash's eyes made him question his own obsession to justice.

It meant he'd never be able to settle down for a normal life. She looked at him gratefully, clearly still terrified by the near mugging.

"That'll show them. I just wish I'd been quick enough to spot them sooner. But I had no idea what was going on until it was too late. For being big, ugly, and stupid, they sure are fast."

Dash met her gaze. She had such a look of inner peace. If only, he thought to himself. What, what did she just say?

".. . usually don't come down this far south. I was heading for the Arena for a present for my third son, but with the storm up there, I decided to loop around it, down south. I'm just glad you were here in time. My husband would have a heart attack if he'd known those bandits had gotten my . . ."

She kept talking in a relieved rush of words, as Dash started walking her back up north.

Married. And children on top of it. The words ran together in a gray mush in Dash's mind. He began wondering, and not for the first time, if his life was really going in the direction he wanted it to go in. . .

After getting her to the arena, Dash parted ways with her and set out towards the heart of the storm, now far to the east of the arena. Another few miles and the small village should be in visual range.

Dash's mood was vastly becoming as dark as the distant storm clouds.

Whatever the Prince had to say had better be worth traveling in this hellish weather.