This monster, subtitled Our Quartet of Heroes is in for a fight!, took a little over three weeks to get up from the second part, but it was worth it!

We kick off with a surprise that I plan to extrapulate into future storylines in the beginning. It refers to a part of the Kingdom of Loathing which hasn't been explored in AIL yet, and I've got high hopes for whatever we come up with once we get to it!

I think we got a pretty good adventurer feel to the fights. I'd say it's even got a bit of an 'heroic' theme to it, with our four adventurers standing against several Elite Seven and the rest of the Knob Goblins. Of course, the strange odds required me to write a few surprises in. It pretty much dictacted the tone of this Finale, as well.
   It makes me wonder what it would be like to try writing a mission with nine or ten people active in it, or more. I'm hoping to someday find out.

Just from the cast here, though, I had plenty of personalities to play with. The Elite 7 concept, I think, really opened up AIL. Of course, the concept was my idea so I might be a bit biased.

That's about all I have to say now, but you've got a huge third part to read, so get to enjoying it!

-- A Prelude of Penultimate Proportions --

Most legends have a grain of truth to them. The legend of the Penultimate Airship, however, is quite simply true.

T'was a rarely seen ship, though, staying well above the clouds, and rarely being spotted between them, as it hovered high in the distance, against the dark lavender backgrounds of the Upper Skies. The ship itself took a rather considerable amount of space up as it flew through the skies. It rarely needed to land.. or so the legends went.

Who could say what's fact and what's fiction when it came to this flying ship?

Did it run on magic or technology? Or was there ever a difference between the two to begin with?

The Desert Treasure Hunter didn't have time to contemplate such deep questions, as he gazed over the side of the Penultimate Airship, watching the adventures unfolding on the surface far, far below the ship's path through the clouds. Clearly, a battle of great proportions raged out of control on the surface. The ship stayed too high for him to make out many details, even with his keen sense of sight that often aided him in his escapades and his journey to awaken his One True Love.

Blubbery clouds floated past the ship, occasionally blocking his view of the scene as it unfolded, but after a short while, he was able to determine the scene; the Knob Goblins... Phew.. at least it wasn't what he feared.

He was soon joined by another, as the Fallen Airship Army Commander approached him. A dark knight by trade, he seemed to emit blackness in battle. Like.. you know.. the dark magic kind.

"What's down there? I hope the Shinpire invasion isn't underway." The dark knight asked seriously. Ever since being ejected from his own kingdom for protesting the Water King's dark actions, he'd been in near constant conflict with his former kingdom over their evil actions.

"Heh, nope, but keep knocking on the wooden siding just in case," Desert Treasure Hunter answered. "I think it's just local world politics.. I'm kind of interested in this one, though."

"If it isn't Shinpire, don't bother," the Fallen Airship Army Commander responded. "It doesn't concern us."

"I suppose not." The Desert Treasure Hunter kept looking anyway, straining his eyes to see what was going on down there. "But it does involve the Knob Goblin empire.. and a handful of.. I'm guessing heroes, opposing them. They're doing pretty good for themselves, too."

"Hmmmm, then we should find out who they are," Commander responded. "After all, if they're standing up to the Knob Goblins, they might be useful allies against the Shinpire."

"If they're interested in helping," Treasure Hunter answered.

"If not, maybe we should lean on them a little." The ex Commander took his place next to the Treasure Hunter. "After all, Shinpire could be a threat to their Kingdom someday, too."

Treasure Hunter didn't respond, but he knew the ex Commander had a point. For now, his attention was riveted on the action unfolding far below the ship. At least it took his mind off the chaos they were facing... The Kingdom of KOL had interested him ever since he'd heard of the wondrous items the Kingdom was becoming known for.. maybe there was something there that could save his One True Love...

"We're setting a course for New Magicalia," ex Airship Commander finally explained, after a long, melodramatic pause.

"What about the armies of Castle Barian?"

The Commander explained how the Protagonist and the Silent Healer "have come up with plans for that." When the Treasure Hunter didn't press for details, he left it at that, and prepared to await the return or their allies, the Proud Martial Artist and the Dashing Ninja....

-- End prelude --

"AYYYI-YAH!"

Vixen flew through the air at an unsuspecting Knob Goblin scout and took him out with a well placed kick, which send the scout careening back into the next two soldiers in line.

She took the entire group by surprise. Before they could even register her presence, Sebastian Dash was besides her, and the two were on the offense.

"Deal with them!" the head of the Knob forces called out. "So we can move on to help our Glorious King!"

"Not gonna happen," Dash boldly proclaimed as he leapt into action against the nearest guard. The guard barely got a thick wooden and metal shield up in time to deflect Dash's broadsword attack. Dash's followup attack was immediate, without hesitation. Meanwhile, Vixen was on the attack in her own right.

The two pressed their advantage ruthlessly, hoping for an overwhelming victory, but not counting on it. After all, these were some of the tougher Knob Goblins, and they showed it by resisting the attack and showing surprising teamwork for a Knob Goblin.

The head of the guards hurled a Molotov Beer at Dash, who ducked, letting it sail into the distance, where it exploded in a bright flash. Impressive, Dash thought to himself, as he rushed towards the head guard, eager for a knockout blow on the one leading things.

A burly guard charged from the side, and send Dash crashing into Vixen, who didn't appreciate it much. The two went down in a heap, and leaped apart, just in time to avoid a vicious Knob pile-on.

Vixen slammed her walking stick over the head of the first Knob who tried to get up, sending him into not so blissful unconsciousness. Dash aimed at a guard nearer to the boss of the operations and tackled him down, raining punch after punch on the bigger guard's head.

Unfortunately, the other guards rallied faster than expected. Vixen let out a loud yelp as she felt the bristle of a cactus mitten slam into her thigh. It caught Dash's attention long enough to allow a smaller Knob Goblin to take him by surprise with a Knob club over his head.

Little disco balls spun over Dash's head as he avoided a killing blow and chastised himself for not having the situation under better control.

=-=-=-=

The rumblings of a fight in the distance threatened to take Catrina's attention off where it belonged.

She kept her attention focused, freezing the timid Knob Goblin in front of her with a lioness's roar, then slamming her shoulder into his midsection, taking him out of the fight and ensuring he'd have a painful reminder of her with every breath of the move for a few months.

Most of the guards now lie broken or beaten as Feena finally got a shot in against an especially athletic Knob Goblin who'd evaded half a dozen of her best shots before finally falling to a ray of minor kitchen appliances.

The victory came with it's cost, as destroying so many Elite guards had given the King time to start his trek to the outpost. Surrounded as he was by the best two guards and members of the Elite Seven meant things could get quite tricky.

"Come on," Catrina called after Feena, despite the remaining two Knob Goblin guards. The guards were still stunned from previous attacks, however, so once Catrina and Feena took off after the King, they were left scratching their heads over what to do next. . .

=-=-=-

"Ohhh, revenge is going to taste so delicious!" The Jester King called out to no one in particular. "That stupid little bunny isn't going to know what hit us once my team gets to her!"

"That's MY team, you arrogant CLOWN!" the King called out. "Stop trying to be awesome like me, you nobody!"

Jester King slinked away, not wanting to challenge the head Knob. "Right.. our army."

"MY army!" The King leaned over, a few inches from his face, causing the Jester King to look down out of shame. "Now, get to the front of the pack and watch out for trouble, you bothersome nothing!"

"Y-yes sir!" The Jester King swallowed his spite and jumped at his leader's command as the sound of feral, mocking laughter caught them from behind.

The group in whole turned to see a rather unexpected addition to their group. There He stood, with the two Muri-dan, Stewart and Jerome, standing slightly behind him, to His right. Mirroring their positions to the left of Him, the final Muri-Dan, Mortimer, stood, along with His catservant, Cattaras.

The Muri-dan were still showing the physical aftermath of their earlier loss to Catrina and Feena. Their eyes burned with the desire for revenge.

"Always fun to see the twerp put in his place," He snarled as He joined the King up front, ignoring Knob military protocal, much to the exasperation of the Black Paladin and Grillhamo. "By the way, I brought yer rats back. Cowardly things wanna run off after one lil loss."

"We would do NO such act of dishonor!" Jerome insisted.

"We were just, ahhhh.." Stewart started, unable to think of anything and drawing a blank.

"Regrouping!" Jermone filled in for him. "And planning. Something we intelligent MURI-DAN.. not RATS or MICE, are renowned for the world around!"

HE just laughed. "We gonna take this fort or what?!"

"Absolutely!" The King agreed, fist held high. "Crush the opposition!"

"Crush the opposition!" the call came up from the troops.. Well.. except for Him and Cattaras.

"We'll drink their blood, feast on their crops, and relax afterwards with their middle class booze!" The King called out. before anyone could even attempt to recite that one back to him, the Black Paladin pulled him back, out of the path of a minor ray of anvils.

"Well," Feena called out as she prepared another blast, "Between you and me, you could use some meat on those bones, skinny."

Cattaras and He roared defiantly, ready for blood, while Jester King of Beasts shifted into the background, and shifted into his insubstantial form. The Black Paladin and Grillhamo tried to stand in front to protect him but the King hopped down from his throne, which a dozen Knob Goblin regular guards had been carrying, and pushed his way past.

"King, going into the heat of battle? Ohh, yea, that's not an awesome idea!" Grillhamo protested.

The irritated King turned to him. "Dude, if I say it's an awesome idea, it IS, and I AM saying that!"

"Well, if you're saying it, it must be so," Grillhamo reluctantly admitted.

"And I'm saying it, so it's so."

"And if it's so, then you must be saying it."

"Indeed, that's true!" The King admitted. "I hadn't thought of that. Very good point."

"And if you're sure that you're saying it, then you must be sure that-"

"Ahem, hope we're not interrupting some important drivel here."

The King turned, outraged. Outrage gave way to worry when he realized the source of the voice.

There stood, like two paladins of all right and just, Vixen, in front of the much larger Sebastian Dash. Each held a familiar looking katana, which each proceeded to throw high into the sky. Catrina, seeing her chance, rushed towards the still distracted enemies, jumping off Catarras's head, and using His back to propel herself high into the air.

She came down in front of a couple Elite Guards, allowing her twin katanas to cut them deep. Each fell in a fit of agony and Goblin blood.

"Mmm, good to have you two back where you belong, huns." Catrina coo'ed. Dash wasn't quite sure if she was talking about the swords, or Vixen and himself. Had she even met Vixen yet, though?

As much as she wanted to rush over and pounce Dash, Catrina knew they'd have to take care of some very dangerous business first. "Nice to finally see you again, Dash."

"Likewise," Dash answered, getting his broadsword, Bad Beats, ready for some action. Of course, he didn't have the context to understand the full meaning of what Catrina had said. While it'd only been a few days to him, to her, entire months had passed while she trained with the mysterious Muri-dan elder, Sliver. Dash then turned his attention to the King of the Knob Goblins. "Knob Goblin King.. we're aware of your attacks on the Plainsfield Research Outpost. I'm sure you're aware that the Outpost is currently under the care and protection of the Kingdom of KOL. Do the smart thing. Turn back and head.. wherever you came from.. before we have a problem."

The Knob Goblin King faked a yawn. "Oh, excuse me, were you talking? I was just picturing how we're about to whoop all of your asses before we crush that stupid little post and take what we need!"

"Oh, good, I was HOPING you'd say that," Catrina responded. HIS scent was powerful in the air, and although it didn't exactly overwhelm the stench of the Goblin King, the Elite army, and an oddly distinct smell of musty old paper and printing ink. Must have been a lot of it in the chest the King was sitting on. Since she'd studied it with Dash, she was familiar with the type of paper she could smell. Bristol or Mylon, she was thinking. The type magazines were printed on. Maybe he'd had a stack of nudie magazines under there. Catrina thought about trying to sneak a look, then refocused her attention on more important matters. Besides, the paper had a very old smell to it. Maybe even decades. She wouldn't to end up accidentally oogling Dash's grandmother or something!

"Then guard yourself, this fight's on!" Dash added. He glanced at Catrina, then nodded. A slight indication, a simple flick of her sword, let him know exactly what she was doing. She responded immediately by moving the point of her left katana in a circle, which lead to a very subtle nod by Dash in response. The covert communication was almost invisible to even the trained eye, yet, except for Dash's nod at the end, which was a simple and obvious way of indicating his approval, each gesture carried with it multiple layers of strategy, depth, and indication.

Dash aimed his sword at Cattaras, who roared defiantly, while Catrina starred down the Muri-Dan. Just as the two prepared for a fight, Dash and Catrina turned in the same instance, and charged towards the guards surrounding the King! The Elite guards were briefly overwhelmed, as Catrina pounced the one on the left, and Dash jammed the hilt of his sword into the other guard's skull, sending him down in a heap of screamin' Goblin.

That left a couple other Elite guards, the King, and all of the Elite Seven and company. Feena and Vixen saw their chances as well. With Cattaras and the Muri-Dan still distracted, Feena lashed out with a gatling ray of hot soup, which scolded all three Muri-Dan, sending them into a blind panic. The scream caught the Cattarras's attention, and draw it away from the rapidly approaching Vixen, who leaped majestically through the air, and slammed her walking stick into the base of Cattaras's back.

Grillhamo let out a low whistle, then leaped backwards, doing a somersault in mid air, just as his black panther charged in from the distance. Grillhamo landed on the beast's back perfectly. It didn't even slow down from it's frantic charge. Vixen rolled out of it's way at the last second, barely avoiding being stampeded by the massive beast.

She quickly changed tactics, retrieving her own twin short swords out of her backpack, and preparing to do battle with the beast. Meanwhile, Catrina's rival, He, stood Feena down, with the look of a predator seeing in it's range an easy meal. Indeed, He had good cause to feel that way. It wasn't long ago when Cattaras, operating under His instructions, left Feena half broken and facing the very real possibility of death. And that was only to serve as a distraction to force Catrina to go as His prisoner, willingly, or at least honorbound, in exchange for Feena's life.

"Curl up into a ball, and maybe I'll make it a quick death," He threatened.

"Nah, I don't need to curl up into a ball to give you a quick death," Feena answered, fearlessly. The memory of the beating was still in the back of her mind, tugging at her, but it wouldn't do any good to show fear to a predator. HE roared loud enough to give a bugged bugbear a second thought, and rushed at Feena, who used her natural rabbit-like speed to easily avoid it. As she rolled out of the way, she fired a minor beam of snowy holidays, striking Him full force, and sending Him flying through the air.

HE was up a split second after her, so she revised her plans, even as, behind them, Dash starred down the Black Knight, still perched on top of that black steed of his. Dash warily drew his sword, sensing this one was dangerous well beyond his appearance. Not far away, Catrina squared off with the last three Elite Guards to retain consciousness, only to feel a sharp, powerful jab from a bony, inhuman elbow slam into her back, followed by another, and yet another. She spun, lashing with a deathblow out at whoever was annoying her.

It caught nothing. She spun around, not surprised to see the Jester King of Beasts floating a few inches off the ground. Blasted thing didn't have a scent to it most of the time. The only scent she'd caught of the JKOTB was a faint whiff of smoke when it had arrived. The scent seemed to appear when he (it?) used it's powers repeatedly in a short period of time.

Catrina lashed out with her swords, knowing that even while it wouldn't do any good, she could tire him out by keeping him insubstantial, like she'd tried the last time. The panicked look on his face let her know she was onto something. Alas, it was a trap; after seven successful swipes that caught the air where his body should be, he suddenly changed tactics as she dove forward, getting too aggressive. His unsubstantial body took him under the ground. Before Catrina could register what was going on, he came up behind her, turned back to a physical form, and yanked her ankle, taking her foot from under her and sending her tumbling over the hard grounds of the plains.

Jester King of Beasts let out an obnoxiously loud whistle. Catrina turned towards him, roaring defiantly. The roar was loud and animalistic enough that he jumped back several inches. "Tsk, tsk, temper, temper. Who stepped on your tail? Ohhh, that's right... ME!"

Catrina smiled inwardly, happy to know she'd give him true pause. A little fear would only make her job of disposing this freak once and for all that much easier. Still, his abilities could prove troublesome. As she was considering the best way to take him down, Feena fired a minor ray of suck-it at him, hoping to catch him off guard from behind, the way Fluffy Hamster had caught him offguard during his attack on the KOKOL headquarters.

Jester King spotted the incoming sleazy ray at the last second and deflected it towards Catrina! Alas, he hadn't had time to take control of the beam of magic, has he had done against Fluffy in the past, so Catrina was able to barrel roll out of the way rather easily. She came up with her katana pointed at Jester King of Beasts. Unfortunately, it hit nothing but air, as he once again faded away to avoid the physical contact.

Catrina turned towards Feena, who was in the process of avoiding HIS attacks with desperate speed. Catrina wanted to help, but Jester King of Beasts was dead in her path. Plus, the few splitseconds she'd taken to look past him towards Him and Feena had allowed the Jester King to live up to his name as King of Beasts. He'd summoned a Supersized Zmobie Tacco Catt and a Refined Bugbear, complete with tuxedo and an authentic manservant pose, to assist him in his nefarious means.

=-=-=

The Trinity of Muri-Dan watched from a safe distance as Dash and the Black Knight continued their stare-down. Just as Dash made a move, he was blindsided full force by an awesome feline power. Cattaras send Dash flying sideways, Dash's sword flying out of his grasp, as Dash found himself unable to stop his forward momentum before hitting the side of a small, thorny bush.

"Awww, did I break the poor little meatbag? I'm truly sorry," Cattaras mocked. Dash pushed himself to his knees, and started towards his feet before suddenly turning without looking, and barrel rolling into a position to snatch his sword from the ground, coming to his feet in a battle ready pose.

"You're kidding, right? That little lovetap." Not totally fake bravado on Dash's part. "Maybe you've been playing second string lackey a bit too long. You've lost your sting, just since our last fight."

Cattaras roared defiantly. Dash resisted the urge to instinctively shiver in fear, although he was sure Cattaras wasn't fooled. Still, Dash was confident in a one on one fight he could take Cattaras. He had before... although Dash barely remember the divine intervention at the time in his favor. Cattaras charged him, hoping to use the natural advantage in speed and strength that came from being half feline. Dash had experience giving up the statistical edge. He charged forward, but dropped to the side at the last possible second as he planted his sword in the soft plains ground near Cattaras's leading foot. The end result was Cattaras's catlike reflexes didn't keep him from tripping over the planted sword, still in Dash's grip.

As Dash's fight was just getting rolling, Vixen finished off the third and final of the Elite Guards. They'd proven tougher, faster and smarter than she thought possible for a Knob Goblin. Still, Vixen had just taken the last one down with her walking stick. She jumped off his head as he lay face down in the mud, taking a cautious half leap towards the Goblin King, who's face was contorted in rage.

The distraction of the King was enough to allow Grillhamo to make his presence again felt in the fight. More accurately, his panther decided to make it's presence felt in the fight. It snatched Vixen by her robe and sent her flying back onto the ground. Vixen instinctively rolled with the force and jumped back to her feet, just in time to duck out of the way of the panther's lazy but lethal pounce. Even as she avoided the pounce, the panther used it's tail to trip her up as she jumped away. I guess it really does fight by any means necessary.

Vixen pushed herself up from her face plant, and glanced over at the tiger, who had a devious, evil and mischief look on it's face. It pawed at here, almost playfully, and flashed it's fangs for effect. The whole panther, when not relegated to being the ride for the Black Paladin, seemed to take on a whole new, sadistically playful persona, Vixen noted. She'd have a tough enough time with it on it's own, much less it's rider.

Where had Grillhamo vanished to, anyway?

=-=-=-

Even as Vixen struggled to fight off the Panther, Feena was struggling to avoid another beating at the hands of Catrina's "ex," Him. She bounced up several branches on a nearby tree, one of the relatively few located this far away from the Distant Woods and into the Plains. HE clawed His way up the tree, diving after her, but she jumped to the side at the last second, sailing backwards towards another branch and firing off a minor ray of hot and spicy ketchup at the beast. It caught Him on the back, sending Him tumbling.

Feena smiled with delight as she fired off another spell, catching Him in His powerful hind legs as He landed. HE jumped from the impact of as a stream of tiny anvils smacked into the back of His leg and knee, before evaporating back into unseen magical energy. She drew her wand up, ready for another attack. HE turned and roared at her, loudly. She flinched, realizing that while His frustration might cause Him to make stupid mistakes, like exerting His energy too fast, it could also cause Him to be all the deadlier.

Before she knew what was happening, He was in the air, propelled by those powerful feline legs through the air. No problem! With her recent training at the clan gym, and her naturally unnatural quickness, it was like He was moving in slow motion when she slipped into her zone. She rolled under His legs, firing off a gatling ray of alternatingly hot and cold magic as she rolled. It struck Him clean on the jaw!

HE landed on His feet, and turned around, only to be met with a rapid fire barrage of spells. Even as she attacked Him, He forced his way through the beams. Feena was ready for that possibility too. As soon as a minor ray of icy desperation started forming, she used it to freeze the mud and dirt surface below Him, sending him slipping and falling.

=-=-=-=-

Supersized was the word, alright. Thie Zmobie Tacco Catt (how'd she know how it was spelled, anyway?) and the Refined Bugbear had been only a minor deal for Catrina to deal with, however... but she'd sliced the Bugbear's tuxedo jacket and sent him hustling to find an all night tuxedo repair store. (Or maybe, Cat reasoned, he'd gone to find some woods to do what bugbears do there.)

She'd already taken a bite out of the Tacco Catt.. which left taco'ey fur and a strange feeling of cannibalism in her mouth, so she ruled that option out for future attacks. She was about to press her advantage when she sensed something behind her. She turned around just in time to duck a diving kick from the Jester King of Beasts! He backed up and seemed to be summoning some more animal allies, so Catrina dove at him, hoping to take him off guard as he was focused.

No luck. He phased, allowing her attack to go right through him. At least she'd broken his concentration from calling up whatever he was looking to get to help him. Catrina pressed her advantage and kept the attacks on, but she wasn't able to find the last rhythm she had last time, when she'd caused him to stay constantly phased out. He'd adapted his tactics to that trick this time, and was able to not only phase in to 'catch a breath,' but launch several counter attacks as well. Often, she'd find his bony knee or elbow jammed into her back or throat, causing her to have to break her own attack for a split second. His absurd near clown'ish outfit and make up, his dead gray skin, and his starved pole like appearance gave no indication to how powerful his attacks were. It was almost as if his bones were made of metal (although he didn't look like he came from Canadia).

His agility unrivaled, he was able to match Catrina's own formidable speed, even without the ability to phase out of existence. Catrina just wanted to finish him off and get to HIM. Although after taking a glance towards the action, she noticed Feena, who was now applying thick strands of spaghetti to bind Him, wasn't going to leave her a very challenging opponent. Catrina stopped to openly watch Feena doing her magic, literally.

The Jester King of Beasts rushed at Catrina from blindside, ready to take advantage of her distraction.

The Jester King of Beasts had unwittingly played directly into Catrina's trap.

He'd expected to catch her fully unaware, and had no time to phase out when she reacted to his attack at the last second. A solid shot to the midsection forced his breath out of his body the hard way, after which Catrina simply flung the JKOTB headfirst into His gut, since He had just broken free of Feena's powerful binding noodles, which came as quite a relief to Feena, who'd poured her all into the binding spell.

Feena high fived Catrina and said, "Good timing there.. Man, He's a strong little cat."

"Yeah, where did you learn that trick with the noodles, anyway?" Catrina asked, even as she turned towards Him, who was still stunned from having Jester King crash into him. Catrina bared her fangs, ready to finish off Jester King and Him.

Feena half shrugged, self consciously. "I'll explain it to you later. To be honest, I haven't. . . urgh."

Catrina turned, seeing the Grillhamo standing over Feena's fallen body. Damn it! With her preoccupation on the Jester King of Beasts and her ex, not to mention the battle raging around them, she hadn't even noticed Grillhamo sneaking up on them!

"Big mistake," Catrina called, baring her fangs and claws as she turned to face him.

"Yours," came a familiar voice. Catrina turned towards the sound of a Muri-Dan, even as the humanoid shaped rat launched himself at her, ducking his flying kick at the last split second. She rolled forward, letting her momentum carry her under the next one's attack. She sprung to her knees in a heartbeat, but couldn't get any higher before the final Muri-Dan nailed her in the side of her ribs with that same uncanny speed the other two had shown.

Despite her earlier victory over them, the speed and teamwork of the Muri-Dan was truly a sight to behold. Catrina coughed, realizing this thing wasn't as close to being over as she'd have hoped.. Maybe Dash or Vixen could find a secret..

Catrina sniffed the air, and thought to herself, "Well.. it's worth a try.. once I get past the poor man's rat pack here."

=-=-

Cattaras sniffed the air, and let out a low growl. A sinister smile then crossed his face. "Hey, meat.. smells like your pet isn't doing so well right now."

Dash suppressed the urge to show a response, which likely would have been a frown. Both Cattaras and Dash were covered in minor bruises and cuts from their battle so far, but Dash had managed to more or less keep his hands on his sword, while he moved the fight a bit closer towards the Distant Woods. There were enough trees at this point to mostly obscure the fight. Worked fine for Dash.

Both fighters were crotched over, ready to attack, yet neither rushed into another round of battle, preferring to try to get an advantage in positioning, or a psychological advantage, at the least. Dash, however, was pressed to end the thing to aid their allies, so he suddenly charged forth, sword in hand, and brought it down with the hopes of catching Cattaras with a lethal blow!

His code of honor had stopped Dash from killing Cattaras last time. That and.. Dash wasn't sure, actually. He kept thinking there was more to the vision of that female feline than was clear.. He pushed it out of mind as he watched Cattaras sidestep the attack. Dash felt his enemy's claws, as sharp as ever, but at least Dash's momentum was fast enough so that Dash only suffered a minor scratch instead of a lethal gutting.

Stupid move, Dash reprimanded himself. Stupid move that could get him killed if he continued to fight so carelessly. Not an option. Dash used his sword to parry off another quick series of slashes from Cattaras, but found he had to keep a tight grip on his broadsword, Bad Beats, to keep it from flying out of his hands. Cattaras had the edge in strength and speed, but not battle experience, which was different than hunting experience. Plus, his style was more than a little similar to Catrina's, and Dash had studied her moves and instincts often.

After all, at one point when they'd just met, Dash figured he might have to fight her someday.

Dash feigned an attack to draw a counterattack out of Cattaras. It worked; when Cattaras tried to slash at Dash's swordarm, Dash pulled back, allowing Cattaras's clawed fist to slam into the sharpest point of Bad Beat's blade. Cattara yelped, pulling his hand back. This gave Dash enough time to thrust the sword, catching him across both thighs. Cattaras screamed in pain and staggered back. Dash planted the sword, using it for leverage to drop Cattaras with a massive kick. Cattaras fell backwards, nearly tripping over a large rock, but maintained his position. "My turn." He threatened Dash with a growl.

Dash expected him to rush with another blind rage attack. Instead, Cattaras showed a sense of cruel irony, snatching up the very same stone he'd nearly tripped over, and hurled it at Dash with sadistic speed. Last time Dash had defeated Cattaras by bashing him in the head with a rock to break free of Cattaras literally trying to bite Dash's head off.

Not metaphorically as his estranged sister had done so many times successfully.

Cattaras now returned the favor with animalistic glee, hurling the large stone at Dash's head. The damned thing was bigger then Dash's head! Dash rolled out of the way at the last second, and found Cattaras pressing the advantage, trying to trap Dash's arms in a bearhug. Being as he was as much beast as man, even Dash's powerful frame didn't stand much of a chance in a purely physical fight. The mistake he made was allowing Dash enough time to react before tightening his grip, allowing Dash to simply swing the sword, and slice a good bit into Cattaras's leg.

Dash dropped down as Cattaras roared in agony, swiping Cattaras's rear legs from under him. Dash quickly jumped into the air, both of his feet landing on the back of Cattaras's head, which left him unconscious, and probably likely to have problems eating solid food for the next few days.

Dash turned to rush back towards the main fight...

=-=-=-

It'd taken all her moxie to get free of the Panther's grip, but Vixen had done so (in a surprisingly non descriptive way.) That still left her with the problem of how to take the Panther out of the fight, though. For now, the main thing was avoiding becoming it's dinner!

Around the trees, and off the branches, as Vixen continued to avoid it's psychotic pursuit. She leapt at a nearby tree, using a low hanging branch to carry herself away from the attacking Panther. It jumped at her, and caught a solid whack in the side of the head from her ever present walking cane. That staggered the beast, so naturally, she hit it with several follow up shots from the cane. The panther actually reached out with a paw and shoved her back, then seemed to smile a sadistically gleeful smile.

It leapt at her, trying to get Vixen under it's considerable weight. Vixen simply planted her hind paws, and slammed her staff into it's throat. It fell to the side, gagging and gasping for air.

Vixen pulled out a sharp knife from.. er.. somewhere on her, ready to finish the job. However, as she turned around, her world went black...

... as the Black Paladin slammed the shield into her skull and upper body, sending her flying. Her face and head distorted into shades of blue and gray, as the magic and physical toll of the blow rendered her unconscious and airborne.

Sebastian Dash arrived just in time to catch her midair. He checked on her, before gently laying her down to the side. "Hang in there, Vixen. You did great. My turn, now."

She seemed to nod. Dash gently laid her head on the ground, and leapt over her, rolling and coming up in a defensive position in front of the sinister Paladin.

"Proud of yourself, are you?" Dash had a look that could slice an amber oak in half. And the sword to actually do it. Black Paladin showed no reaction at all, simply eyeing up his opponent as if Dash were meat to be cleaved, or a gnat to be swatted away and promptly forgotten about.

Dash's attention was suddenly drawn into the distance, where he saw Catrina valiantly fighting off both Grillhamo and and the Muri-Dan, while he heard Feena warning Catrina, "I'm almost out of juice here!"

"Hang in ther- AHH!" Dash watched, spellbound, as the Muri-Dan's teamwork paid off. Dash hadn't seen how well they worked together the last time against the Muri-Dan, but in this case, Catrina's previous fights and Grillhamo's help was clearly making it a more difficult proposition. Dash rushed to help...

Only to find a massive, gauntlet gloved hand grab him by the shoulder as he rushed. Catrina caught Dash flying backwards through the air, propelled by the inhuman power of the Black Knight, who'd somehow gotten off his horse without anyone seeing him. He was massive! Even with the thick, magically enchanted armor, it was easy to tell how muscular and athletic of a figure this Knight was.

Feena, meanwhile, was hit yet again by the Muri-Dan, who seemed to fall into their overconfident, play mode. She made Stewie pay for his cheap shot with a minor ray of eye crossing that sent the human sized rat-oid staggering, cross eyed, backwards.

Mortimer and Jerome both laughed at his misfortune, then leapt towards Catrina, who backflipped out of the way. As she did, Grillhamo charged her from behind. She avoided most of the impact, but still half spun as she regained her footing. Beyond her opponents, she could see Dash, staggered, laid out. Black Paladin was about to bring that sword down and run Dash through!

"Dash!" she screamed, helplessly. She charged for him, forgetting about the enemies between the two. She dodged through Grillhamo's legs and leapt off Jerome's back, only to have Mortimer cut her down mid air with a flying kick to the gut.

Just as Catrina's ex and the Jester King stumbled their way back into the battlefield...

Dash rolled out of the way of the first two thrusts from the sword, but the Black Paladin was moving faster with every miss. Dash couldn't get his bearing, and was running out of time. . .

The nearly unnoticeable sound of an arrow being fired through the air, and a familiar voice calling out, "INFERNO TUNNEL!" caught the attention of the fighters!

The arrow struck the still staggered Jerome in the shoulder, while the Inferno blast caught the upper potion of the Black Paladin, staggering him and forcing him away from Dash!

Everyone looked up, shocked to see TheChad and Fenninarnos leading the charge! Behind them, fellow KOKOL member Samus XTreme prepared another arrow to fire, and KOKOL's Prince Blahking showed the after effects of his powerful flame spell.

Behind them, the outpost commander, Lt. Fuhler, Fenninarnos, TheGimp and Thomas and Shane Centaur brought up the rear! They swept at the Elite 7 and incoming Knob Goblins on a "Charge!" order from Blahking!

The Centaur brothers transformed into horses, attacking Black Paladin's horse two on one, while Gimp just kinda stood there, admiring the dust in the air, and Chad acted nutsobatso-insano, attacking HIM head on. Being an 8 foot tall moonfreak at least had some advantages...

Samus took aim with another arrow, while Blahking decided he'd prefer the fight up close and personal. Jester King of Beasts held his still sore head, then let out a screech, to the surprise of those around them. A summoning call, Feena figured as she and Vixen paired up to attack the Muri-Dan in tandem.

She couldn't believe it. All of a sudden the fight had shifted from a near devastating loss for her side, back to a highly pitched battle! HE got the advantage with several swipes of His claws that sent Chad packing for a different fight! HE roared defiantly, only to find Himself struck from behind by Fuhler's linoleum crossbow, directly in the shoulder. HE turned, ripping the arrow out, and roaring defiantly.

Fuhler flinched, but fired another shot at Him, which He managed to avoid as he rushed Fuhler. Fuhler ducked, and He found himself having to parry off Dash's bad beats. Fuhler's attention shifted to an incoming group of Knob Goblin teens about to blindside Dash with their.. er.. teenage weapons of choices.

Dash noted more than a few armies of Knob Goblins in the distance.. As he parried Him off with some vicious, fast sweeps of Dash's broadsword, Dash realized a few sickening facts about this fight.

HE seemed to be a more vicious, stronger, more deadly version of Cattaras.

Cattaras himself was limping back into the picture, and looked ready to try to force his way back into the fight.

And they were about to be significantly outnumbered yet again.

"STOP the fight!" The Goblin King suddenly called out. Dash winced inwardly. If he was going to offer an opportunity to surrender the outpost. . . . this could get confusing and troublesome fast.

Then Dash noticed the desperation in the Goblin King's voice. He turned, to see him on his royal knees, pleading before Catrina, who in her hands held several stacks of .. Knob Goblin comics and comicbooks?!

It was true. Dash smiled inwardly as he kept an eye on Him, who was also transfixed by the scene going on in front of Them. The fighting came to a dead stop as the King screamed, "I'll do ANYTHING! Just don't damage my collection! Have you no heart?! Some of those are friggin' awesome, and others are from my Grandpa's age. There may very well be less than a hundred copies of 'Captain Pespsi and the Blatantly Politicalized Adventures of Crew Awesome' in exitance, and I've got the whole series! Including most variant covers, and the super rare only six ever made, unedited director's cut of the issue 0 Ashtray! You know, I can't believe how far from the original premise that series got in the first few issues. Why, did you know that. . . ."

"Don't care," Catrina interrupted. She then waited for his words to trail off (shown above.) "Get back to your groveling."

"I'll do ANYTHING if you just release my booty back to my possession. Heh.. booty."

"That's quite funny," Catrina conceded. "Will you even call back your army and declare the Knob post forever off limits, on the word of your unborn mother? er.. On the grave of your mother?"

"Yes, YES!" he answered, pleading as Catrina leafed through the comicbooks in front of her. Several of them had heroes with long, pointy weapons. Sometimes wizard staffs with the knob at the end, while others were oversized spears. Several of the comics from the last 20 years prominently featured hotrod automobiles for no discernable reason. Even when they seemed to be otherwise western stories. (Often with at least one hero with a spear, of course.) "A-as long as you promise to NEVER touch or threaten ANY of my phat stash again!"

Catrina paused, then smiled a sinister looking feline smile as she inched the comic out of the bag. "No conditions.. I don't think you're in a position to make any."

"No, you'll expose it to oxygen! FINE! The fight stops NOW! Give me back my comics, and we'll retreat peacefully."

HE snarled. "Why should WE stop the fight over some stupid cartoon books?!"

Catrina's ex and Mortimer actually stood side by side, facing Dash, Prince Blahking and Lt. Fuhler, ready to keep fighting. To their surprise and annoyance, the Black Knight, Grillhamo, and a conflicted looking Jester King of Beasts stepped in between them. Grillhamo spoke for the three.

"You would dare defy the word of our King?! I should strike your sorry selves down where you stand! Just on principle. Or spite."

"ENOUGH!" The King yelled, rushing to scoop his comics up into his loving arms. "We're going home! To our really secret lair hidden somewhere in the Kingdom that noone may know the existence of!"

"You mean Knob's Cobb, right, King?" a 'helpful' Knob Goblin sub apparanetly offered.

"Right, the secret base in Knob's Cobb," The Knob Goblin King said through gritted teeth with an annoyed grimace. "Besides, I don't really want your stupid Knollish Finding Stick, anyway. I'll go buy a way better one down South of the Border, anyway. And maybe we'll buy some tequila and pay some people to make bunnies fight!"

"Yeah!" Grillhamo said, "We're gonna go get drunk and make bunnies fight!" He starred right at Feena, who gave an indifferent shrug.

"Have fun with that," Dash replied sarcastically. "Now get to stepping before I get to cutting." He flashed his broadsword in front of him, as, one by one, the Goblin forces fell back into the distance, leaving the rest of the rats and bats fighting on their own. Just another day in the Kingdom of Loathing, Dash figured. . . . he and Catrina decided since the Prince and Outpost commander were present, now would be a good time to find out about this 'Knollish Finding Stick' that the Goblin King claimed to have lust after so richly. . . .

End chapter.... for now.