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Dash and Slash
Mission:  Enter Hey Daze

Subtitle: The Armory and Leggery has pests.
By Riko and Dash

Original Roleplay

As mentioned in the previous roleplay- and again in this opening, Dash, Catrina, Riko and Feena have split into parties of two to search Seaside Town- allowing Dash and Riko to hit the Armory and Leggory and fight a few beasts from their past!

Seaside Town and the Armory/ Leggory are, of course, taken directly from the game itself, as are a handful of weapons mentioned in the post. The enemy we use from our hero pair's past, obviously, aren't. Due to their shared history, I expect Adrule, maybe even more than the other town from Dash's fictional history (Honorburg), will be developed on a fairly regular basis over time.. In fact, it gets mentioned in passing in the Finale yet again!

Anyway, down to the roleplay.


A bit later, Riko, Sebastian Dash, Catrina Whiteclaw and Feena have split up, searching for the harp in two different areas.

There's a distinctive, powerful smell around this part of the Market Square; grease, oil and machinery from the Armory and Leggery, mixed with the powerful, sometimes pseudo pleasant scent of the nearby Bugbear Bakery. It's also a good spot to spot warriors tracking down the latest in equipment, or bugbears out for a 'refined meal.'

Recipe for a fight, if you ask the locals.

There's no fight today as Dash and Riko make their way through the entrance of the Armory and Leggery. Dash takes a look around, admiring the odd collection of weapons, as well as the royal, regal walk of Riko. She might not call herself a Princess, Dash thought to himself, but the way she carried herself screamed royalty, confidence, and authority.

Riko looked around, utterly fascinated by the entire place. Weapons and Greaves as far as she could see, walls lined with many weapons for beginners and seasoned adventurers alike. She searched for the Legendary Harp of Aeons, though it looked very much like it was not there. "Sebastian, mayhaps the shopkeep would know where the harp lies if it is not in sight."

"Oh wow," Dash said, distracted by a greaves with an image of a soccer embedded in the side. "They've got the new Jimmy greeves in." He turned to her. "He might. I believe there's supposed to be a couple of rooms besides this one, too. Something that unusual might not be kept on display in the main room. Too many unsavory types in this city."

"Then let us investigate these other rooms." She gave him a soft nod, looking for any potential doors in the room they were in.

"Oh, and keep an eye out for a guy with.. er.. no arms and legs," Dash answered. "Literally. He's the shop proprietor."

"How can a man with no arms and no legs run a place such as this, Sebastian?" Riko looked at Sebastian Dash seriously, utterly perturbed and confused how such a thing could be.

Dash chuckled. "If I ever find out, I'll let you know." Dash folded his arms over his chest as he examined a set of bow and Limburger arrows. "It seemed like it would be rude of me to ask him."

The princess nodded, and continued browsing the shop. She stopped suddenly and called back to Sebastian, "Hey, Sebastian, what do you call a man with no arms and no legs leaning against a counter near a cash register?"

Dash paused. "Ahh.. I'm not sure I've ever heard that one before."

"How about the shopkeep! I found him, Sebastian." Riko grinned playfully as she turned to face the shopkeeper. "I do appologize about the poor quality of my joke, but I decided to appeal to my companion's sense of humor. Perchance, have you seen a harp of golden hue with but four strings in your business?"

"What kinda name is Shopkeep?" Dash wondered aloud, more to himself than to the other two.

"Wayamin, what kinda weapon would a harp make? That's nonsense!" The shopkeeper looked at the two, trying to figure the joke out.

"It wasn't meant as a weapon, but the melodies it was supposedly capable of producing could literally peel the flesh from bone if played right." Riko responded to him. "Then again, this is only legend I speak of."

"But thizz'iz an armory and leggery," the shopkeep replied. "I mean.. we got some music stuff, but that sounds kinda pricy.. Sure you wouldn't rather have a nice sto.. borrowed accordian instead?"

"No, few instruments played in water so well as harps. I only have experience in playing said instrument, dear sir." She looked a little disappointed, turning to Sebastian with a shrug.

The shopkeeper paused. "And you're lookin' for this one harp, right? Lemme double check the back, see what we got!"

Riko nodded quietly, walking over to some of the greaves. "Sebastian, it is quite unusual to see something such as these leggings. They almost resemble the coral armors from home." She suddenly looked back, almost concerned. "D... Did you just hear a scream?"

"Yeah," Dash answered, concerned, "and it didn't sound like a scream of joy, either. We better go see what's up."

Riko pulled her short sword from the sheath at her side and bravely strode towards the door alongside Dash. "I know this is an inopportune time, but perhaps the shopkeep is like the Runner of the HomeStar. That beast has no arms and yet can handle objects as if he did."

"I'm pretty sure that's just a wive's tale, meant to scare small children," Dash answered, pulling Bad Beats into his hands soundlessly. "I'll rush in first.. cover me." Dash stood to the side of the door, waiting her signal.

Riko nodded quietly, kicking the door open for Sebastian. Dash rushed in, eyes scanning for a threat he quickly found... "What in blazes are Zoombas doing up here?!"

Riko stepped in after, looking on in surprise. "How unusual, Zoombas in here. I thought they were native to Adrule, not here."

"You can't communite with them, huh?" Dash took up a defensive position in front of the shopkeeper.

"Not in any way, let us be rid of these beasts!" Riko leapt into action, dragging her sword across the flank of one, quickly downing it. "Slash them or leap upon them, that's the fastest way!"

"I've fought enough to know what to do.. Wa-huh!" Dash called out, leaping off of one's skull, and driving his sword into the next. As he did, the final Zoomba caught him with a dashing rock blast. "Ahh, I forgot how much that hurt!"

Riko quietly snarled and slammed into the final foe, impaling it upon her blade. She drew back and sheathed the blade, looking back to Sebastian. "No contest."

Dash held his ribs, watching as the enemies in front of them dedigitized. "Is it possible they followed you up here, Prin.. er.. Let's focus on the Harp. Did you find it yet, good sir?"

Riko jabbed Sebastian's ribs hearing his slip. Dash shrugged apologetically.

"Ahh.. right.. Is this it?" He pulled out what looked to be a makeshaft harp, comprised of a hubcap and five hard spaghetti strands. "Good stuff here! Shall I.. uhh.. ring it up for you now?"

"No, I am truely sorry, but this definitely is not the harp. I am sorry to have troubled you." She bowed politely.

"Drat," he frowned. "Hey, five strings are better than four."

"Sorry," Dash answered, smiling. "No sale. Thanks for looking, though."

Riko turned to Sebastian and sighed. "Perhaps our friends have found it? Oh, perchance do you have any sturdy string and coral?"

"Coral and string? You think that'd sell? I could probably special order some from the Distant Beach." The no limbed storekeeper moved in a manner that suggested a shrug.

"No, do not trouble yourself. I had meant to give a gift to my friend here, a charm I know how to make. Perhaps I can make it later."

"Alright, then I better get back to the payin' customers.. no offense, hey? Let me know if you need a hand.. er.. you know what I mean." Then he hopped off back into the main store.

Riko turned to follow him, headed towards the door from where they'd entered. Sebastian Dash followed behind her, leading her back to the fountain in the middle of the shopping district, the meeting point the quartet had agreed upon.


 
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Kingdom of Loathing (KOL) is a (mostly) original online game that apparently has something to do with Asymmetric Publications, LLC, and something called a Jick, who probably copyrighted and trademarked the thing up the wahoozer. Wahoozer is a word I just made up. If you don't like it, bite me. And if you refuse to bite me go to . . . ANYWAY, this is the archive for an interactive writing game based on KOL, and a specific clan within- the Kingdom of KOL. Specific characters belong to their specific owners, specifically, unless specifically stated otherwise. This game was developed by Joshua A. Dexter, with rules based in part on Mercenary and Equinox. This is a non profit game done for entertainment purposes only. If a rash develops on your imagination, desist use immediately and consult a physician, psychologist, or 1-900 psychic for further assistance. KOL forums, store, entry at Answers, KOL's entry at Archive.org, and it's entry at Wikipedia, and KOL's own wiki. - JAD
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