Shamus in all his awkward glory. Long, odd spacing which I've politely preserved for this one, biting sarcasm and funny little twists, but it's worth noting he's the only one in the whole series to take on a Crypt boss in this one. (To be fair, roughly half of the competition wasn't actually dealing with the Crypt; they were on the mosquito hunt.)

I like Shamus's humor, and I wish we could see him in an occasional co write or even Live Roleplay session, but getting one or two Shamus gems is good enough. Enjoy the last lil bit before the set of Finales.

Let's get to the story.

“Ouch! Careful! I felt something sharp.”

“That’s a sword, idiot!”

“I can’t see.”

“You’ve said that twenty times!”

“Sorr- Ow! How long have we been in here?”

“Stop asking that.”

“Wait, Inuy; I hear something.”

Shamus put his ear against, what he guessed, was one of the box’s walls. He sat, listening; he heard foot steps. From what he could figure, there were two people heading towards the box. “We’re saved, Inuy!” Shamus whispered excitingly. He heard the box being un-nailed; yeah that’s a word… Probably.

“Hey, stop un-nailing that guys!” He heard a voice from outside the box yell.

“Why Boss?” Another voice replied.

“Because; those are weapons for the KoKOL clan!”

“But; they told us to.”

“Oh, well, in that case… Let’s wait until after lunch break.”

“Great idea boss!”

Shamus heard the figures moving away from the box. Frantically, he tried to scream after them “Wait! I’m trapped in here! HELP!”

“Why didn’t you yell that when they were right next to us?” Inuy asked.

“Shut up.”

 
After hours of waiting; Shamus guessed they were not coming back. “Well,” He said at last “looks like I’m going to have to get out of this myself.” He stared kicking the box’s walls, but nothing happened. “Hmmmm, how am I supposed to get out of a box full of hammers, guns, razor sharp swords, crossbows, and crowbars?”

“I have an idea; why don’t we USE the weapons in the box?” Inuya replied.

“Hmmm, that might just be crazy enough to work!”

“I hate you.”

Shamus began felling around for a weapon that might do the job, until he cut his hand about seven times.
“GRAAAGHH! Everything is sharp!”

“Isn’t your brainfulness set at, like, 7?”

Shamus ignored her, as he rubbed his hand repeatedly. “I’ll just use the sword that’s been in my back, for hours.”

“You do that.”

Shamus grabbed the sword from beneath him, cutting his hand again as he did so, and prepared to slash open the top of the box- Before it suddenly opened. Two ghuols were holding the lid, and looking down at him, curious as to what this new creature was.

“Are you friendly ghouls? Or unfriendly ghuols?” Shamus asked nervously.

The two ghuols looked at each other, blinked, and began cackling evilly. “I think they’re friendly.” Inuya said sarcastically.

“Hmmm, I guess we’ll have to trick them into defeating each other-”

“OR; you could use the freakin’ sword in your hands. Have you even fought in this series yet?”

“Of course I have! In fact...” Shamus proceeded to ramble on about adventures that Inuya didn’t really recall. How he sliced this, and smashed that, and danced for so, and so. After about twenty minutes; the ghuols seemed to loose interest, and scurried away. Shamus saw this, and ended his rambling.
“Yeah!” he yelled after them “You better run!”

“You disgust me.”

“Well, here we are; the crypt!” Shamus hoisted himself out of the box, and took Inuy out, and looked towards the massive crypt. There where vines hanging from the top of the doors, and spiders crawling on the floors, and a strange scent of pine.
“Did you check to see if that description was in accordance with the other established accounts of the crypt?” Inuya asked.

Shamus glared at Inuya. “Shut up.”

Shamus, and Inuy, walked to entrance, glanced at the “yu enter yoiu diez” sign, complete with backwards E’s, and entered. There were two large rooms on each side of the crypt, with a central room in the middle. Immediately after they entered, they saw a large bone dragon, sleeping in the central room. “Do you suppose that’s what’s causing the spookiness?” Shamus asked.

“That is quite possible.” Inuy replied.

“Well,” Shamus cut an X in the air with his sword “let’s get it.” Shamus began sprinting towards the large beast.

“Woaahh! Wait-” Inuya began to warn Shamus, but was too late. He was suddenly propelled towards the ground, with a loud thud when his head hit a large rock. “I tried to warn you, you have to un-defile the rest of the crypt first. Or the aura of defilement will overpower you.”

“What? That’s retarded!”

“Yeah, but that’s what the game requires.” Inuya replied, as she helped Shamus get to his feet… Somehow. “Which area do you want to un-defile first?” She asked, pointing towards the various areas. “We’ve got night of the living freaks, people who don’t eat enough, people who eat TOO much, and those… Thingies that fly.”

“I guess the skeleltons should be easy, all they are are bones.” Shamus cleaned the blood from his sword and began to head towards the defiled nook.

“How did you get bl-“

“It’s mine.”

“Ahhhhhh.” Inuya pulled some equipment from her bag, and swallowed it, her skin then became rugged, and furry, and a cute little hat appeared on her head.

“Heeeey, how’d you get a hobo monkey equipment?”

Inuya rolled her eyes. ”I found it in a cereal box.”

“But-” Shamus decided to drop it. He prepared his stance, and then began a fast sprint towards the nook, screaming as he did so. And was met with a punch to the face from a spiny skelelton when he got there, blood began trickled from his forehead.

Inuya looked at his new injury. Laughing, she said “Good job.”

“I could use a little help you know!” Shamus exclaimed, while blocking a blow from a toothy sklelton from behind with his sword. Skeleltons began forming a small circle around him.

“We all could use things. All I can do is steal meat.” Inuya said, as she tripped a toothy sklelton, and removed a hamethyst stud from one of his teeth. “Wow, this guy must’ve been rich when he was alive.” She said, examining it.

Shamus sliced his sword in a semi-circle, decapitating a skelelton, and injuring another one. “Good job!” Inuya exclaimed “Your first kill! And it only took you four RPs!” He ducked, blocking a blow from a toothy sklelton, and kicked it in the face, knocking one of its teeth out, which only served to infuriate it.

Shamus pulled out a base ball, and threw it at the closest skelelton, which, again, only infuriated it. “No wonder you never fight.” Inuya said, as she stole one of the skelelton’s wallets. Shamus started hacking, and slashing, randomly. Eventually one of the skeleltons fell, from either Shamus, or boredom. Shamus smirked when he saw this, and thrust his sword forward towards a skelelton, only to have it move out of the way.

His sword struck a pile of bones, and when Shamus tried to pull it out, it wouldn’t budge. “Oh, dang.” He exclaimed. The skeleltons, seeing this, began heading towards him, smiling evilly, until they all seemed to react to something, and started walking backwards slowly. A loud moan emitted from the pile, and they quickened their pace, until they were out of sight.

“Did I scare them?” Shamus asked, finally un-wedging his sword.

Inuy’s face suddenly filled with horror. “No,” She began “that did.”

Shamus turned around to see a giant skeelton, looking at him with (what he assumed was) malice of some sort. It grinned its giant teeth, and cracked its knuckles. “Well,” Shamus barely let out “I’m screwed.” The giant skeelton lifted its left hand, clenching it into a fist. Shamus got into a stance, preparing to dodge the strike, until he was struck in the back of the head by its right hand.

He smashed into the ground, and a loud snap was heard. Struggling he got up, and prepared to strike- And then got struck in the back of the head again. “Could you help me, Inuya!?” He screamed. He barely blocked another strike with his sword.

“I did,” She pulled out an object from her pouch “got his wallet!”

The giant skelelton looked at his wallet, then groaned, and began heading towards Inuy. “Inuy, that’s not the best idea-” Shamus began, before being smashed to the floor again, by the passing skelelton.
“Don’t worry,” She replied “I have a plan.”

She began scurrying towards the entrance to the nook, and started jumping up, and down. “Inuy-” Shamus tried to protest.

The giant skeelton pulled out a large bonesaw, and began slashing the ground in front of him as he walked. The skelelton then raised his arm, preparing a slash, as he got to the entrance. With tremendous force he brought the saw down- Until he cut supports of the ceiling. The ceiling above it started crumbling, until it came down right on top of the skeelton.

The giant skeelton moaned, as it was covered in rubble, piece, by piece.
After a few minutes, Inuya walked up to it, and poked it to make sure it was dead, or….Re-dead. After she was content with the deadness of the skeelton, she scurried over to Shamus. “So,” She said, smiling “told you I had a plan.”

“Good for you.” He replied “I think I’m going to lie down for a while.” He felt around for some comfortable ground, and closed his eyes.

“I’m going to get a soda.” Inuya said, scurrying away.