It's time for one or our bigger chunks in Finales since the Chrono Quest.

So.. yeah. There is a reason it's called Battle Royal. In addition to having to deal with the Crypt itself in this one, plus three of the four subbosses, there's another three enemy groups added to the list, bearing old grudges against our heroes.

The Mafia penguins, bitter demons, and ninja snowmen.

The downside to this Finale, as I said, was the length of time it took to produce. I think it's pretty good quality the whole way through, though, and I worked hard to make sure the style of action fits each group. So while Shamus's is reflective of his bumbling comedy style, Feena's focuses on her interaction with Amras, and Catrina's has a more 'bad ass' story that focuses on her new weapons from earlier in the mission!

Check out how this subquest comes to and end and see if you saw it coming.

If one thing could be said about your Crypt as our adventure starts, it's this: It isn't used to having these many guests! As the spirit inside you draws you back to a semblance of consciousness, you feel that familiar ache, don't you? That all too present pain.

Worse than before, worse than ever. Your memories of the past are so... fragmented. Insubstantial, as if they weren't even yours. Much like the name you'd been given.

They're coming.

Banedungon, they called you, or Bonerdagger.. something like that. You never understood it, either way. It was only a collection of human sounds to you. Something's whispering to you now as you 'sleep' on your throne, warning you that they're coming.. even now, the five of them are locked in combat in your sacred crypt.

The simpleton and his familiar stare into the cold, unforgiving eyes of a caste of demons.

The Leporid couple starred down the dangerous Penguin Mafia faction.

The feline, possibly the most dangerous of them all, found herself already engaged with the fiery passion of the snow ninjas.

You didn't know- or care.. who'd come out ahead in each battle.. you'd slaughter them.. if their blood was the only thing which could wash away the noise, thus allowing you a few precious more years of your undisturbed sleep... then so be it.

Let bones and metal alike be crushed beneath your awesome power.

 
END PRELUDE

 
=-------

 
Niche part I of 6

 
The HDIC (head demon in charge) standing over Shamus as Shamus picked himself up, loudly bellowed, "Hey! That was Satan's favorite tombstone! Get him!"

"That's starting to get old!" Inu whined.

"It doesn't even make sense anymore!" Shamus commented, before doing a double take. "Wait, why are we repeating the exact same we said like, five seconds ago?"

"We're doing a dramatic recap of the last few seconds of the last episode, duh! Ow!" Inu said as another piece of the wall fell off and smacked her in the head.

.... from the other side of the crypt. Uhh- yeah.

Shamus didn't seem to notice. "Why are demons in the Crypt, anyway?"

"That's a very long and boring story!" the head demon replied, excitedly. "Would you like some tea while we tell it?"

Shamus turned to Inu and lowered his voice quietly. "I say yes. We could sneak away while they're babbling."

Inu looked at him in disgust. "You've got some kinda mental problem, don't you?"

"What?" Shamus asked defensively. "What?!"

"You DO know just because you turn your back and kneel over doesn't mean we can't hear you anymore, right?" cried a demon in disbelief from behind him.

 
=----------

 
Alcove part 1 of 7

 
Catrina's tail flicked excitedly.

Catrina reminded herself quietly that the stakes here were pretty high. The bonerdargon's presence alone would ensure that bad things awaited if it remained unchecked. Yet, it was so much more than that. The Council wanted the Bonerdargon defeated, and were interested in who was able to actually defeat it. Catrina had silently decided she wished to deliver the last blow if at all possible.

The air around her chilled even more and her body responded, tensing up in anticipation. The anxiety was somehow- delicious.

Catrina's tail flicked as the snow ninjas circled her.

They'd assumed their traditional forms, very masculine, although Catrina knew it was to some large degree, illusionary. She'd have to deal with the ninjas, but they weren't her real goals. Neither were the various misspelled versions of fat zmobies who filled the defiled Alcove.

The thrill excited her. She loved the feeling of being outnumbered, to the point she was almost thankful she wasn't fighting at Dash's side, with Feena at their side.

Her tail flickered just as a snow ninja weaponsmaster jumped at her, swinging a spiked nunchuck made of pure ice. Catrina was shocked by the speed at which it moved, although she still managed to avoid it's opening attack. Catrina's tail caught the ninja's "ankle" as it soared past the air, flicking its leg out and forcing it into an awkward landing.

That left her the others. Instinctively, she prepared for another attack- which didn't come. Catrina turned warily towards the next ninja, pulling his twin katana into an attack position as she threw herself at it, testing it. Her sword sliced through it effortlessly. No! Midway through trying to slice the snow beast apart at it's shoulder, her katana struck metal solid ice! The rest of the snow and ice immediately reformed around it!

Nice move, Catrina thought to herself, trying to pull her sword free. It wouldn't budge. She pulled her other up, only to realize it was swinging a massive and suddenly mallet shaped ice fist at her skull.

Eep!

 
=-----

 
Niche part 2 of 6

 
"You see, demon sir," Shamus started as Inu cowered behind him. "I was telling my familiar here, about our plan in front of her because.." He paused, scratching his head. "See? That makes sense, right?"

The demons looked at each other with a "Is this guy serious?" type of look. "You didn't say anything. You must moved your mouth like words were coming out and kept muttering, 'Time sink, time sink.' That doesn't even make sense!"

"I do believe he was referring to this entire quest!" Another demon chimed in.

"Whoa, baby, that ain't cool, insulting the Crypt!" Timmy the Moderately Slick Lihc, not to be confused with the one from our previous stories, chimed in. "Hell, that's downright anti-sociable!"

"Ssssssssssssssslay the sssssssssinner!" Another Lihc called out. One with eight legs, so obviously, a Spider Lihc.

"No!" Shamus answered. "Okay, maybe it was a distraction."

"A what?!" The Lihcs and demons cried out in unison.

"He said is distr-aaaah!-ction!" Goat bearded Inu yelled angrily, as she rushed into the demons, sending them flying with headbutts, taking them by surprise.

"Alright!" Shamus exclaimed. "Let's butt us some heads!"

"Well, that was lame and stupid!" Inu yelled, upset, as Shamus prepared to join her in battle. "No more puns!" she ordered.

 
=-------

 
Cranny part 1 of 7

 
"Stand aside," Amras warned with a dangerous edge to his voice. "We've business here- and not with the likes of you."

Amras stepped in front of Feena over her protests. They both knew the danger even just four penguins represented.

"No, my friend," the taller penguin in the back of the four answered. "That won't be happening. Your friend here was responsible for interfering with our business in the past. Seeing as you've graciously come to the appropriate place for your final resting spot, we find it only appropriate to ensure you don't leave. Right boys?"

"Right, Hourus!" The other three answered in unison.

"We don't have time for this!" Feena protested. "If you're smart, you won't make a fight of this."

"Ohhh, we're too smart for a fight," one of the penguins responded, in a corpse-cold voice. "This's gonna be a massacre."

 
=-----

 
Alcove part 2 of 7

 
Catrina focused and forced herself to duck, temporarily abandoning her katana, which was still stuck in it's arm. No biggie.. Focusing herself, Catrina's claws slashed down the enemy's face and chest of snow, nearly splitting it open from the viciousness.

Catrina's tail twitched again as she sensed them surrounding her. She took the frigid chill in the air as a challenge. Her powerful legs propelled her through the air at the weaponsmaster.

Another snowman broke into a blind rage attack at her, charging with it's sword up. No problem; she could work that to her advantage. A little leverage move sent it crashing into the other snowman. Catrina pulled her katana free during the confusion.

"Alright, that's more like it!"

For all the new items she'd acquired, Catrina found herself happy with her faithful set of katanas for the moment. The chill made her smile.. a zob rombie ushered up, intent on shoving her in his house with 999 other corpses, but she wasn't about to be punked out by some butthead surfer; she quickly sliced off his head (heh heh.. head) and refocused on the snowmen.

"Whazza matter.. cold feet?" Catrina taunted. It was hard verbally jousting with enemies known for staying silent. "Alright, who says a lady can't ask for the dance?" With that, she thrust herself forward at the snow ninjas, swinging her katana in wild yet well controlled swipes. The ninjas ducked, but were clearly on the defense. "Whazzamatta.. is this lil pussy cat too hot for ya?"

Throwing their caution to the four winds of the seasons, the snow ninja rushed in as once. Catrina, naturally, simply sliced through the two behind her, letting the other two nearly crash into each other. They backed off to tend to their nearly severed off limbs. Despite the fact she could decapitate them with ease, Catrina knew she'd have to totally obliterate them in order to end this fight.

Making them angry enough to make a crucial mistake might be the way to go.. plus, it as just downright fun. "Where're you running to, boys? Let me guess; your icicles are starting to melt off?"

The ninjas responded with a howl of anger. It struck Catrina as a burst of minty cool icy cold wind. Catrina charges at her, and they meet her with a mad rush of their own!

A half second too late, Catrina suddenly realized she was going about this all wrong.

 
=-----

 
Niche part 3 of 6

 
Shamus leaned on his crossbow as his angry goat comma chameleon, Inu, tore into the nearest demon with her angry horns o' fury!

"Take that, you Daze bound morons! That's what you get if you mess with us!" Shamus shouted at the top of his lungs.

"What do ya mean 'We,' ehhhh?" Angry Goat Inu answered. "I'm the run doing all the fighting? Are you even gonna USE that crossbow?!"

"And waste my precious crossbolts? These things don't come cheap!" Shamus whined.

"Gimme a break! OW not like that!" Inu screamed as she slid back after an attack from the demon.

"HA! How long do you think you can hide behind your worthless familiar?!" the demon yelled.

"Long enough to aim." Shamus started. Then he snapped the crossbow up, not actually bothering to aim, and let a bolt fly. It nailed the first demon in the kneecap. It screamed loudly and vanished in a puff of illogic. (Hi Samus!)

Inu starred and got angry.. er.. more angry. "If you could shoot like that, why didn't you do it back in Hey Daze when we really needed it?!"

Shamus shrugged. "The timing was all wrong. I dunno."

Shamus pulled it up, and fired it at another demon. Unfortunately, the element of surprise wasn't there. The demon snatched it out of the air .. er.. midair just before it could reach his face. "Ahem.. as I was saying... OUCH!"

Inu nailed him in the back of the knee with her angry goat horns. "Yeah, yeah, you've talked enough, already!"

"Time to finish-" Shamus's keen hearing detected a heavy mass moving behind him. Assuming it was either a demon or Raw Hide, he spun around and fired a deadeye shot at the creature behind him..

The crossbolt got stuck in the forearm.. er.. foremost tentacle of a hairy, gross, and absolutely massive pirate pirate lihc..

"Oh shi.." Shamus started.

 
=-------

 
Cranny part 2 of 7

 
Feena and Amras exchanged a glance which communicated a world of uncertainty. They both knew the Penguins were only a distraction to their real goal here. Still, they'd make for a dangerous- downright deadly, really- challenge.

Any second the Penguins would likely attack.

"Awful nice of you and your friends to split up," one of the four penguins spit. "We figured you we'd chew on your bunnies for breakfast, but don't worry.. we'll get to the others one by one.."

"Don't get ahead of yourself." Feena's ears furrowed. "You haven't gotten by us yet."

"Nor will you!" Amras called out! Without hesitation or forewarning, he charged into the nearest penguin with a flying karate kick. Simultaneously, Feena lashed out with a minor ray of melted anvil juice, which scorched the next two penguins' fins, even as Amras's kick connected. The two's offense was surprisingly in synch as they forced the Penguins on the defensive.. at least.. for the moment...

 
=-----------

 
Niche part 4 of 6

 
"Oh shiver my bones," Shamus continued as Inu breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thought you were going somewhere totally different with that," she explained.

"Not at all," Shamus answered. His mind was working overtime. For what that's worth. "At least he's not as bad as the demons."

Inu figured - wrongly- that Shamus had just come up with a brilliant idea... "Oh no, I think it's MUCH more dangerous than the puny demons here."

"Whatever," Shamus answered, again leaning lazily on his crossbow for support. "OW!"

Inu'd kicked him, figuring out he had no idea what his brilliant plan was... (Did that even make sense?) "In fact, I INSIST that the pirate lihc is MORE dangerous than the demons!"

"Arrr, it be true!" The gigantic hairy pirate styled lihc called out. Pridefully.

"You're crazy!" the demons replied in unison.

"Fine, Inu if you.. OW!"

Inu kicked him again. "Stop arguing, what're you gonna do.. argue with me til they settle it?"

"Stop kicking me, anything you.. INU!"

Yup.. another kick..

"Ohhhhhhhhhhh," Shamus finally said. "Yes, I think.. what is it I think?"

Inu resisted the urge to yell, scream, eyeroll, facepalm or 4th wall break. "That the demons are more dangerous than the pirate lihc."

"YAY!" the demons shouted.

"What're you yarrrbarrrin' about?!" The pirate lihc said, offended.

"But they're wrong, the lihc is tougher!" Angry Inu interjected, ready to watch them fight.

"That's marrrgh like it!" the pirate Lihc boasted.

"Oh hell NO!" one of the demons growled.

"You tell 'em!" Inu shouted! "Go get 'em!"

"It's on now, matie!" the lihc yelled at the demons at the two started fighting.

"Heh, I'm pretty smart to think up that one!" Shamus bragged as the two walked off. Inu just muttered angrily and annoyed in response.

 
=------------

 
Cranny part 3 of 7

 
Amras and Feena attacked in perfect harmony, let the Penguins were making ground.. closing in on the desperate pair (Couple? Maybe not yet.) as they continued their relentless assault. Their wings were like steel, their breaths were quite foul. Not a creature was stirring, not even a ghoul. They refused to let Amras get in their way. The penguins were coming to serve up Feena fillet.

Feena was as impressed by Amras's melee skills as he was by her magic slinging, however. The nearest mafia, worn out by their constant double assault, fell backwards with a loud scream as Amras kicked him in the head, then leapt aside the instant Feena unleashed a powerful stream of tiny to moderate sized fireballs.

Still, it left the other three in a position to act. Two snatched Amras by the arms while the third charged Feena from behind, blindsiding her and sending her stumbling out of control. Feena turned around, and got smacked by over the head by an iron cast pan, sending her to the ground, eyes crossed. Amras screamed in protest, using his anger to his advantage. As the penguin rushed to give him the same iron cast treatment, he twisted his legs around the attacker, and flipped back. The penguins who had been holding his arms down were taken back by the momentum. Amras angrily sprang to his feet before the penguin could even stir, ready to punish them for their sins against his 'goddess' Feena. . . .

 
=-------

 
Alcove part 3 of 7

 
Too late to abandon her plan midcharge, Catrina's mind instead developed a different plan. She stopped short of the ninja, drawing out it's instinctive counter attack, grabbing it by one arm, deftly avoiding it's snow sai, and flipped it over, sending it crashing into the wall with a soft, snow padded thunk. She quickly grabbed the snow ninja's "head" and started grating it against the wall. The friction caused the steely snow head to deform and dull.

Another ninja charged at her from behind. She barrel rolled out of the way, allowing it to slice it's own comrade in twain.

Catrina took the moment of silent confusion to focus her senses.. After all, the snow ninja weren't the goal. She'd have to find the 'boss' of this section. It wasn't *that* big of a section.. but there were plenty of turns and twists. Maybe she could lose the snowmen, at least, long enough to find the boss and deal with it.

She heard something shift through the airs behind her and instinctively ducked. A snow and ice ball flew over her head a split second later. Another exploded - literally and figuratively - behind her head against the gray lifeless stones of the Crypt Alcove as she rounded a corner.

She resisted the urge to pause at the sight of sparsely placed coffins and an urn leading the way to a dusty, arcane smelling stairway at the end of the path. The path was lined with a handful of zmobies!

Great, Catrina thought to herself. Snow ninjas on one side, the unliving undead on the other. Not the twist I had in mind.

 
=------

 
Cranny part 4 of 7

 
The first penguin went down- hard- after a quick series of brutal nerve strikes from Amras. The second was frozen in place- solid- from a blast of cold hearted hate from Feena. The effort left her exhausted, however. The third penguin tried to jump her, only to have her avoid it's charge at the last second. It ran into an open coffin drawer lining the nearest wall and got stuck. A massive kick from Amras jammed it further in.

"It'll be a while before your friends come to," Amras taunted the last standing penguin. "Sure you don't want to just give up and let us go about our business?"

"You're a DEAD MAN! You hear me?! A DEAD MAN!" It charge full steam after them. Amras took Feena's paw and they dashed deeper into the Cranny.. well as deep as one can go with a 'cranny..' duh

The area was much darker, making it hard to see.. at least.. for the penguin. Bunnies must have good night vision, or if they don't, well I'm temporarily granting them that ability for this section. "Wha.. where'd you.. AHHH!!" The Penguin screamed as he found himself engaged in a battle with a gluttonous ghuol who'd come to feed on his pasta enriched bones.

Just thirty feet or so away, Feena and Amras had avoided most of the ghuols who'd tried to attack them.. only to find themselves trapped between two massive ghuols! Just past them.. they noticed one, even larger, sloppily eating dead people. At least, the ones it could see.

The occasional crunch of bones made Feena flinch. The others surrounded them. Amras stood in front of her, protectively, as the other ghuols moved in, ready to feast on bunnies. . . .

 
=-------

 
Alcove part 4 of 7

 
Catrina dove in, unabated.

There wasn't much point in waiting around for the snow ninjas to close in on her trail. She pulled out a seal tooth from her bag and jammed it into the eye of the first zmobie who tried to jump her. A kick and a slice of her sword took it out of the fight. Another charged her. She pulled her katanas into an attack position as it slowly shambled near. Without warning, it shifted gears, and rammed her with a speed she hadn't anticipated.

Catrina found herself pinned against the Crypt Alcove wall. Doing her best to block of the stench of defilement, Catrina gripped it's dead hands, ignoring the slick sweat and blood that clung to its skin like humidity on a scorching hot day. Steeling herself against the rather unpleasant possibility of actually having brains about to splash on her face, Catrina twisted it's head back at an unnatural angle.

The cool scent of death closed in from the area Catrina had entered at.

She planted her foot on it, trying to push it back but the thing was surprisingly strong. Without leverage, Catrina found herself unable to easily dislodge it. She tried - without success - to get a hand free to 'summon' the weapon she'd earned from the search to find information on the then-missing Toot Oriole.. . It was a two handed weapon. She couldn't summon it without both hands free.

Worse still, the drift of ice mountain winds that always accompanied the snow ninja elite grew stronger. Catrina saw them streak, nearly invisibly, in the background, their movements as silent as the wind.

Catrina could pick up the sound of wind on a quiet day from half a mile away.

Pushing, struggling with all her might, she forced it's rotting teeth away from her neck. A split second later, her free hand slugged it hard enough to dislodged it's rotting jaw. A second shot forced it to stagger back. It twisted it's jaw in place and went to charge. Suddenly, Catrina pulled her brand new +3 Giant Hammer of Kawaii Jerk Boppage out of thin air and SLAMMED IT into the zmobie, sending it flying backwards.

Catrina heard a familiar whistle and barely managed to avoid the paths of a handful of frigid shrunken. Catrina found herself squealing with the power from the weapon. She let it carry her at faster than normal speeds, almost drawing on her chi and converting it into pure speed and power. All consuming power.... her chi had spiked up more and more recently.. She took both snow ninjas out with her hammer with ease before she'd even realized what she was doing.

Quick, rapid breaths of a hunter.... She took a deep breath, and wondered to herself what kind of power this thing had.

 
=-----------

 
Cranny part 5 of 7

 
Feena flinched as they got closer, and not just from the stench of the misspelled ghuols. Surrounded- but that would only make Amras more determined to protect her and therefore, more dangerous. He leapt towards the nearest ghuol and sent it flying with an over the shoulder toss, followed by a wide arc sweeping kick to the .. er.. jaw or jaw equivalent.

Feena herself unleashed a mini tidal wave of Jersey sewer, drowning the nearest set of ghuols in disgusting, slimy stinky water and refuge. Feena herself was surprised at the random form her attack had taken, but didn't have time to stop to ponder it. "Let's get to the - ARGH!"

Feena collapsed to the ground as a kneecapping stick made contact with her from behind. The final Penguin stood, battered from his own fights with ghuols. However, he was poised over Feena, ready to deliver another blow as Amras leaped into action.

Amras failed to realize the noise had drawn the attention of the huge ghuol behind them.....

 
=-------

 
Alcove part 5 of 7

 
Catrina let out a scream of rage and pain as her boppin' hammer jacked up two jerks, meaning two grave robber zmobies. Catrina grabbed the watch off one of them as it fell from above in a spray of blood and zombie body parts. Cat turned to the next threat and found herself suddenly struggling to move. Her limbs felt heavy, and she was breathing way faster than she should have been. Something about the location...

She swung at another zmobie- an overweight, out of shape corpulent zmobie, and felt oddly sympathetic of him, even as he flew across the room, broken in half. Thing was, Catrina was *far* from overweight. She'd trained for- and lived- the life of a predator. Something must be causing the slowdown.. she absentmindedly grabbed a handful of loose teeth to examine.

Then she realized what was wrong. Something tugging at her stamina and her chi. The weapon?

She started to consider that it's sheer magical energies were driven by her own stamina.. her own chi! Before that thought could go anywhere, a pair of hands grabbed her from behind, trying to smother the life out of her!

 
=-------

 
Niche part 5 of 6

 
The sounds of the lihc fighting the demon faded into the background as the came towards a bend in the niche. (More on that in a second.)

"My horns feel funny," Inu complained.

"Maybe that's a sign you need to drink less and get an intervention," Shamus teased.

"As hilarious as ever," Inu said. Then she rammed her hers into the side of his leg, causing him to let a loud "ow!" "Quiet, you! We're trying to be stealthy. Anyway, moron, I think I'm about to change back. I can only hold each form for so long before I revert, as you know, and we did a lot of fighting back there."

"We did?" Shamus asked, genuinely surprised.

"Amendment: I did. Loser," Inu angrily spat as they rounded a bend in the niche. "You know.. that didn't make a lot of sense."

"What didn't?"

"That phrase."

Shamus looked at her with a silent nod of confusion.

"That phrase, 'a bend in the niche,' I mean," Inu explained further. "Come on, now.. how could a niche have a bend? Does that even make sense?"

"Maybe it's not a niche and it's just a misused word, like how everything is supposedly misspelled here?" Shamus offered.

"Yeah- that- wait, 'supposedly' misspelled?" Inu nudged him, getting less angry by the second.

"Hey, spelling's a complicated, confusing mess. Who can really be expected to make heads or tails out of it?" Shamus asked as the leisurely strolled through the Niche, content to simply chat it away, I guess.

Inu felt a rage of anger. Unfortunately, it was less to her being in tune with her angry goat form and more to her being- unwittingly- in tune with Shamus the moron. Heh, she chuckled at that. Shamus the moron, gotta use that one sometime. "Will at at least TRY to make sense from here on out?!"

"No," Shamus calmly responded. "But speaking of which, it looks like we've finally found what we're looking for. Without having to climb the highest mountains or run through the fields."

"Were you even paying attention when I said 'Make moar sense?!" Inu asked. "Idiot."

"U2," Shamus responded. "Anyway.. there's a giant skull thing. Wanna steal it?"

"Ahh, bad idea," Inu explained.. right as her horns fell off. She felt an inexplicable surge of happiness over that fact. "In case you're too stupid to realize it, and let's be honest, who are we kidding here? You're well past too stupid and into the realms of 'legendarily and hopefully comically stupid' today."

"Heeey!" Shamus said, insulted. "There's a clever insult hidden somewhere in there, isn't there?"

Inu ignored him. "Alright.. Boy Genius, that's a Gargantulihc and it seems to be too busy looking for something to even have noticed us yet." Inu felt a sadness for the lack of commas in that sentence. "We could turn tail and run if you want?"

"Wouldn't that make us big-ol' scaredy-cats?" Shamus cleverly mused.

"Probably, so we should-" Inu started. He interrupted.

"Let's bail on this joint, I'm good with that," Shamus said, turning to run. Well.. casually walk away from his responsibilities.

 
=------------

 
Alcove part 6 of 7

 
Catrina forced herself not to panic, despite her suddenly weakened condition. Panic would kill her as sure as the hands blocking off her air passages in this case. She let her feral instinct kick in, biting hard into the disgusting, undead hands of whatever had her. Twisting and turning with all of her considerable might, she jammed the hammer of endurance draining boppage into the thing's gut!

Her body felt a bit numb, but the attack had it's desired effect. Catrina slowly, painfully turned around to see what had ambushed her. A two headed beast! Catrina starred down the dangerous looking conjoined zmobie, assessing her situation in the form of expose. Each 'half' of the whole looked to be a good deal bigger than an ordinary zmobie. In addition, they stunk more, looked smarter (which was relative; they still looked about stupid as you'd expect), and looked to be twice as disgusting and four times as strong as the normal living undead. On top of that, Catrina was suddenly feeling the crash from using her new weapon. She let it go, allowing it to vanish until she'd need it again, and slowly pulled out her twin katana, noticing, a bit to her surprise, that her muscles ached.

Catrina blocked out the pain and exhaustion and charged full bore, intent on slicing it to pieces with her twin katana. Unfortunately, the thing was smarter - and better prepared- than it looked. It pulled a massive tomb from a nearby wall and sent it flying at her. She barrel rolled, barely avoiding it, and came up fighting. Several swipes forced the joined at birth (or death) demons back, stunning it. Catrina raised her katana overhead and went to behead it. With impressive speed, especially for a half unliving creature, it grabbed each katana in the air, struggling with Catrina to force them out of her hands.

It was a dead even stalemate.. but Catrina was already starting to show signs of fatigue....

 
=-------

 
Niche part 6 of 6

 
"YOU!! You stole it, didn't you?!" A booming, echo'ing and just flat out loud voice called from behind Shamus as he started to stroll away. Shamus winced, and whispered, "Shoulda seen that coming."

"Yeah, no kidding," Inu mused, searching through her bag for a familiar equipment to feed herself.

"What?!" it asked, suddenly standing in front of Shamus. "Was that an admission of guilt?! Sure did sound like it from a distance."

"No, we..." Shamus started.

"Gimme gimme gimme!" the creature screamed, bumrushing Shamus. It really, really hurt. Almost as much as when Shamus bounced off a nearby coffin.

"I don't know what you want!" Shamus screamed at the top of his lungs, loud enough to distract the conjoined zmombie and the huge ghuol.

"But I DO!" Inu yelled. The creature turned from behind and eyed her down. "Is THIS what you wanted?!"

"My papers!" it moaned.

"IF you want them back, I suggest ...." she started, not quite knowing how she'd propose to tell it to let them destroy it.

"No, no, of course not," it said, transforming into something resembling more of a man. "Will you..."

"What?"

"Will you promise to.." it started again.

"Stop doing that, get to the point, and finish, please!" Inu responded.

"Will you spread my true words? And not the lies my sister spoke of me?" It asked on a voice pitiable, demanded, yet somehow sad and honest.

"Uhhh, alright," Inu responded, confused.

"Thank yooooouuuuuuu...." it said, suddenly fading into nothingness. All around them, lihcs vanished, and the demons were forced back into Hey Daze.. er.. somehow.

Shamus turned and whispered, "Should we just trun those?"

"Of course not, show a little respect," Inu answered. "Wait until we're outside."

 
=-------

 
Cranny part 6 of 7

 
Along with a magic blast from Feena, Amras was able to finish off the last of the Penguin Mafia just in time for Shamus's scream to distract the huge ghuol from attacking them from behind.

"Look out!" Amras warned Feena, who was still recovering from the penguin's attack with his kneecapping stick. Indeed, her leg felt like it was broken. Even after a quickly applied set of Lasagna Bandages, it still ached like hell. She was about to try another set of bandages when Amras shoved her aside, taking her out of the huge ghuol's reach.

"Oh, thank you." The two turned towards it. "Did you hear that scream?"

Amras smiled slightly. "It was the only reason I turned around to see that thing. Come on, let's finish it off."

"Alright!"

 
=-------

 
Alcove part 7 of 7

 
With the thing distracted by all the shouting from the Niche, Catrina was able to pull her katana free and get a twin attack on the creature's head. Stubbornly, it refused to go down, and Catrina felt a bit like the living dead herself, thanks to the fatigue. The creature was massive, and blocked several of her shots, despite what should have been twin moral wounds- gashing heaps on it's neck. If only Catrina had been able to bring the heavy club of Bjorn's.. but she only had so much room to carry weapons.

It charged at her, losing blood faster than she was losing fuel. She sidestepped and grabbed it's head.. er.. one of it's two heads. She flung it towards the nearest wall. Ah.. a weapon!

Catrina grabbed a rust-covered shovel which, presumably, had been used for robbing graves in a previous, wasted life. Catrina put it to much more practical use, using it to beat down the conjoined zmombie. It took a dozen shots, leaving her barely the strength to move, before it stopped moving, finished in this life and sent to the next. Catrina grabbed it, and with a mighty heave, shoved it into a twin coffin, stopping first to retrieve a Grateful Undead T-shirt that was surprisingly free of stains. (Maybe the corpulent zmobie was napping in it earlier, she figured.)

Lil big for her, but she smiled, knowing someone who could make good use of it. Catrina turned to rush to help her friends.

 
=-------

 
Cranny part 7 of 7

 
"Finish it off," Amras had said so casually.

Far, far easier said than done, to lean on a well established cliche.

The huge ghuol froze them in place with a spectral scream that penetrated and seemed to drink from their very souls and bones. Snakelike tentacles of energy snaked out of it, wrapping the two and further immobilizing them. Amras struggled against them, showing some signs of life, but the spectral energies kept Feena immobilized. This is all wrong, Feena thought to herself. She hadn't expected this thing to be so powerful. Feena struggled to regain her composure. It was just an attack; she could get around it.

It turned towards Amras, teeth wide. This thing was but a floating head, yet it's powers were.. impressive, to say the least. Amras connected with a kick to it's temple, causing it to lose it's concentration. That was enough to allow Feena to slip a paw free. Grasping her wand, she unleashed a minor wave of boiling hot pizza sauce at the creature. It turned towards her and roared. Out of nowhere, several spectral ghuols appeared, morphing into solid forms before her eyes.

Surrounded! Amras attacked and punished the ghuol with a variety of attacks. Feena turned her attention to it, blasting it with minor rays as she advanced. Unfortunately, the mini ghouls attacked her as she did, driving her off.

New weapons cut the air around her as the creatures fell away from her, withering and vanishing into thick grey smoke. Shamus's crossbolt and Catrina's twin katana sliced through the ghouls!

Feena looked up, grateful to see her friend, although her heart sunk a little. "You two already took care of your sections, huh?"

"Barely," Catrina said, voice betraying her exhaustion.

"Uh, sure, in a matter of spooking," Shamus said.

Inu kicked his shin hard.

"Ow!" he whined. "I mean.. of speaking," he corrected. "Then we ran into each other in the main area.. the cyrpt lobby, I guess."

"Literally," Catrina said, holding her sore jaw. "He nearly bowled me over!"

"Yeah, I thought I saw a spider," Shamus admitted.

"A crypt full of zmobies, giant ghuols, and demons, and he takes off screaming like a little girl because he thought he saw a spider," Inu summarized with an eyeroll.

"Alright, enough recap, let's finish this thing off!" Amras called out, ducking under a ghostly tentacle. Shamus aimed high, shooting a chrome crossbolt at him, which Feena backed up with a spell of burning lava lamp fuel, as Catrina rushed to back up Amras in melee range.

It lashed out at them, but the teamwork was clearly overwhelming. Twin melee attacks combined with twin ranged allowed them, even without any experience working as a quartet, to take the thing out fairly fast....

Then.. it was onto the grand finale.. the Bonerdargon!

 
==--------

 
BATTLE AT THE PILE OF BONERDRAGON BONES
Or- Getting to the Heart of the Adventure

 
"Huh," Shamus started, looking around. "We're fighting a pile of bones?"

After lots of high fives and compliments on their teamwork, in addition to some minor healing by Feena, they'd come to this. The big showdown. But if only one could win- how would they know who won? The question was raised, and discarded without a real answer decided upon.

In this heart of the crypt, the smell of defilement was still present, but with the sub bosses defeated, it was far less noticeable. Unlike the other areas, lit by candle and whichever shafts of sunlight were stubborn enough to work their way in, the only light here was from a single, perpetually lit chandelier which hung high overhead, providing a weak but perpetual light.

Feena looked around. "It looks almost exactly how it did when I defeated him previously. The only difference is, someone's piled the bones up into a neat pile."

"Let's just grab one and leave," Shamus proposed. He walked up to the heap and grabbed one, then suddenly dropped it, cursing and holding his arm.

"What's wrong?" one of the others asked. (You pick.. heh..)

"Burns like satan's own extra spicy chili flavored Jalapeño!" Shamus complained.

"Weird," Amras said. "Maybe.." he started to speculate, but was cut short by a loud, annoying buzz. All around them, silver and orange energies surrounded the group. "Wha?"

Before the others could spit out their own astonished reactions, the bones flew together into mid air. The smell of defilement was again strong. The bones and the energy caking them created an outline of a dragon. Bit by bit, small chunks of leathery skin and scales blinked into existence at sparse points of the bones, as the energy seemed to fuse the bones together, reforming something which strongly resembled the beast which had haunted many of Feena's nightmares after her first encounter with it.

"Yikes," Inu exclaimed, pulling out something at random and swallowing it without looking. "Eep! I ate a light bulb!"

The others glanced at her as she quickly turned pumpkin shaped. She spit out fire which sent a spectral chill through the air. "Let's rock!" she said in a very spectral voice. The battle felt epic, and began in a huge way with Shamus firing a trio of crossbolts at the dragon, even as Amras struck it's knee bones from behind. (The next bit is long so I'm going to abort, and just like Kurrel, keep this one short.)

The creature ducked his head, avoiding the first crossobow, although the other two struck him in the eyesocket and dead center of it's chest.. er.. the glowing energy where it's chest should be. It roared as Amras struck it's knee with brutish force. The others tried to press the advantage, with varying success. Amras get caught by a kick which sent him back, although that opened Catrina up to attack it's other leg. It lifted itself into the air. She pounced it, but it began beating it's wings violently, creating a gust which send her crashing into the ground. Inu blasted it from behind with her fiery eye beams, only to have it turn and return fire. Dragon laser eyes! It seemed immune to the frightful aspect of Inu's eyes, possibly due to being a creature bound together by pure terror and hatred. Or possibly it was simply numb to violence after a lifetime of modern cartoons, urban rap music, and graphic news programs. Inu, being pumpkin shaped at the moment, was reduced to rolling out if the path of the "lasers" as "fast" as she "could." The others positioned themselves for a new wave of offense. The bonerdagon raised it's wings over it, coming to settle on the ground, deciding in it's twisted mind which threat to take out first.

"I'm not sure this's having any effect," Amras conceded, even as he and Catrina kept up their offense. Shamus and Feena paused in their attacks, unsure of what would give them the edge. Problem with that is, with something like the bonerdagon, if you're not on the offense, you're on the defense- or dead. It started flapping it's wings, sending up a huge dust cloud, then several coffins- at the two! They barely dodged. Catrina let out a roar of protest and dived at it, intent on severing it's head with her twin katana.

Unfortunately, it was prepared. A sweep of it's massive bone wings send her crashing into the wall. Feena cried out in sympathy as Catrina fell to the ground. Shamus was next to fall, as the creature used it's eye lasers to blast a wall behind him, causing a big chunk of it to fall on him.

Inu turned to help, then realized she had to help take the Bonerdagon down first. "Grrr, you're gonna pay for that!" she yelled in a spectral voice.

"Thing's a lot more dangerous than the last time," Feena noted.

"Good thing there's two of us, huh?" Amras smiled thinly.

"You mean, 'three of us,' don't you?" Inu gritted her pumpkin like teeth. "Well, technically five of us, but Catrina and Shamus don't look in much shape to fight."

The beast's roar interrupted that train of thought as it lashed it's tail out, intent or taking Amras out of the fight as well. Amras leaped over the tail, barely. He landed and realized from the trail of blood on his leg it must have caught his leg as he'd jumped over. Feena blasted at the creature with magical binding noodles of pasta. They slowed it, but not as much as Feena had hoped.

She poured on the spells, hoping to wear the beast's protection down. Easier said than done, though. Amras's attack was precision, making the most of every opportunity to attack, but it was clear he was going to need some help. Inu, meanwhile, continued to blast it from the side. This was starting to look desperate.

"Try to keep it busy so I can whip up something more powerful!" Feena shouted, bunny hopping out of the way of a blast. It was tricky; she didn't want to accidentally lead the crossfire towards Shamus and Catraina while they were still helpless. The others did their best, but the dragon turned up it's offense. Seemingly focused on blasting pumpkin Inu with it's laser eyes as Amras darted behind it, trying to position a crucial strike to it's back, the creature suddenly caught Amras with it's tail, sending it flying into the nearest wall!

Feena turned and screamed his name in concern, and nearly got blasted for her concerns. Inu flew into her, pushing her out of the way, but leaving Inu herself to take the brunt of the assault. Feena looked up, feeling a sick, terrifying feeling that the end was neigh . . .

. . . .

That's a pause.

. . .

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Catrina, glowing like a Roman candle from built up chi, launched herself at the creature's back! The creature let out a loud roar. Catrina's eyes were silver and black. Her swords seemed to seep a strange energy. The dargon cried out as it thrashed around, trying to blast Catrina. She was monstrous in her ferocity!

It took Feena several seconds to compose herself; Catrina brutally tore into the creature, shrugging off several dead-on shots from the creature. Bruises were raised on her body; her nose soon bled from the brutality, but she kept going, silent as death. Feena briefly wondered if Cat had truly died and come back as an avenging spirit before pulling deep within herself and unleashing a massive bolt which sliced through the enemy. Catrina paid no heed to it, leaping into the creature to attack it, and absorbing a large part of the spell herself. "Cat! What're you doing?!" Feena cried out, surprised to see Catrina refusing to stay out of range even long enough for Feena's powerful spell. The creature slammed backwards, causing a loud rumble from the crypt as it cracked and moaned under the creature's pressure.

Feena rushed over to console Catrina. "Cat, I'm sorry, I didn't expect you to -"

Without looking towards her, Catrina leapt back into the fight, unsheathing her twin katana. As she leapt, her tail, maybe acting on pure instinct, tightened around a nearby rock and flung it at the creature's thigh as a distraction. The slightest hesitation it caused in the creature allowed her to slam her twin katana into it's chest bone and rip it free, sending chunks of energy and bone flying everywhere. Small chunks hit Shamus and Amras, causing them to stir slightly. They were too hurt to move, though. Feena wished she could attend them, but if she left Catrina to herself against this.. monster.

The whole area hummed sinisterly. The noise grated on Feena's nerves. "What do you think that is, Cat?" Feena asked when Catrina landed near her.

No answer or even acknowledgment.

Catrina leaped at the creature's head, so Feena aimed her next blast - a torrent of icy wind chill- at it's feet. Ice cycles began to appear on it's bonleegs.. er.. I mean bonelegs. They clearly had it on the rocks. Feena poured on the magic, pacing her output like an athlete who knew he wasn't quite to the final leg of the lap but couldn't afford to slack yet.

A flash of light caught Feena's attention as the bonerdagon and Catrina tore into each other. She could have sworn she heard something. No.. maybe just her imagination? She turned to fire.. there it was again! Almost a sinister laughing. Feena realized there was a palatable mist surrounding her, making her want to flee. Her magics could sense it. She was amazed, once she noticed it, that she hadn't noticed it before.

An errie presence and a mischievous, naughty laugh.

Feena's eyes were drawn away from Catrina leaping several feet in the air to avoid the bonerdagon's attack, towards a quiet coffin, whose dark gray colors shifted into the shadows of the defiled crypt like dust into mud. She turned and fired a bolt to cover Catrina's attack and shouted, "Catrina, I know what's wrong! It's the casket!"

No response from Catrina; no sign she'd heard. Her glow seemed to be dimming; she was moving more sluggishly, and nearly walking into attacks that should have been easily avoided.

"Catrina!" she yelled again, rushing to grab her feline companion. Unfortunately, her recklessness dash, despite her rabbit like speed, left her open to the dargon's tail. It sent her flying and crashing into a nearby pillar. Feena pushed herself up, then the pain overtook her and the world went black.

The 'dagon turned towards Catrina, who looked hardly able to stand. Her eyes deglazed, and a look of confusion overcame her eyes. The bonerdagon sensed her hesitation and sudden confusion, and wrapped it's tail around Catrina before she could adjust to what was going on. It's tail started to crush her; the sharp bones covering it's spiny tail dug into her, causing her to cry out in pain.

She looked over to the others. Her weapon had fallen from her hands when it snatched her up. The others were unconscious or barely moving.. Then she noticed Inu tending towards Shamus, who, with surprising willpower, forced himself up to one knee, and took aim with his crossbow, as it whispered something to Inu. Inu sprung towards the creature, slowed from earlier damage, and prepared to attack.

Inu did nothing. Catrina wanted to urge it to at least distract the beast so she could try to slip free, but she couldn't even muster a whisper. Her world, like Feena's hardly moments earlier, started to turn dim and black. Catrina thought, in her desperation, she saw an outline of a vile, evil creature, as shapely as Catrina's own goddess, but robed.

An explosion rocked the crypt, causing pieces of the ceiling to fall on them! Nothing too serious- yet. Catrina felt the creature's grip loose and heard it let out an unholy scream as it dropped her! She landed on her knees, and prepared to try to force herself to move.

As it turned out, there was no need. She could see Inu blasting the ceiling over the beast. A large chandelier was her target; she severed the bolts holding it. It fell towards the dagon, which already looked weak! Catrina noticed Shamus finishing destroying a casket. As he dismantled and destroyed it, the last vintages of a cursed light drained from it.

Catrina could feel the after effects of... something.. fading from her as well. Like a forgotten nightmare letting go of her soul.. Shamus and Inu, satisfied as the creature let out a death scream before the bones charred brightly, turned to help the others. The creature lost the ethereal glow which had been holding it together earlier and fell into several pieces.

"Oh sweet!" Shamus called. "Can't forget this." He grabbed the creature's skull and chest-bone, dragging it out as Inu shouted for Catrina to help her.

"Come on!" she called, worriedly. "There's still pieces falling."

Catrina nodded as she and Inu stumbled over towards Amras and Feena while Shamus tended to his 'loot...' "Stupid jerk," Inu called him.

"What?!" Shamus asked jovially as he dragged it into a safer area. "I can't hear you over my resounding victory!"

 
=-----

 
Aftermath

 
"I remember jumping at it and being swatted by it's wings," Catrina explained to Shamus, who'd seen her psycho act, just recovered but still to dazed to move at that point. "Then I remember it having it's tail around me. To be honest, hun, I only thought a few seconds had passed. Sorry. That's all I remember. And.. how'd you figure out how to destroy the case, anyway?"

Shamus shrugged. "It looked like Feena was going for it. So when she got knocked out, I figured I'd finish the job for her. Figured that'd leave the thing vulnerable. I was a little surprised that it actually worked."

"Believe me, genius, we're all shocked when ANY of YOUR ideas worked!" Inu teased from a distance.

"Hey, what's that mean?! Come back here and face me like a man.. er.. woman.. er.. lizard thing!"

"I'm a chameleon, sharp eyes, and no way!" Inu teased as she took off, with angry Shamus chasing behind her.

Catrina laughed a bit at the two's antics. then noticed Feena returning from her private conversation with Amras.

She was alone.

"He had to take off again, I assume?" Catrina asked as her bunny friend joined her. Feena just nodded as the two walked off, side by side. "Sorry, hun."

"Don't be," Feena answered with a knowing smile. "He's very good at saying goodbyes."

The two shared a private laugh over that one, walking on.

Wow, talk about monster length! There is another Finale to come, but don't worry- it's not as lengthy as this one, although it's still well written and fun in its own right.