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Zombie Finale II: Rest for the Wicked
Mission:  End of the Heroic Age: Fallout

By Catrina and Konall
Original Finale Part IV

Having covered the Degrassi mission, it's time to finish off the Undead mission.. I can assure you that you are in for a hell of a treat here.

Enjoy.


Opening by Catrina and Konall; remainder written by Konall

Catrina, Daisuke and the now Army of the Feline Empire waited in a clearing just outside of Seaside Town, but Catrina's thoughts at the moment were not on the battle yet to come. She was down on the ground with a magnificent black panther male, doing everything she could to ease its hurt feelings.

She stroked his sleek fur down its back and sides as she purred to it. "It's okay, hon. It's okay. Yes I know he was a good friend more than he was an master... Yes I know you would have given your life for him. We both know jerks just like that now... We'll get them!" She then giggled as he mewled something. "No kidding! I didn't think he swung that way!"

Daisuke growled- although he could see why she wanted to calm the panther. "We need to be alert, love. No telling when this 'king's' forces will arrive."

The air shimmered as Blahking's web of invisibility wore off. "Speak of the devil and he shall appear," he said. Behind him, two score soldiers stood, led by Mtiger. Along with Prince Blahking and Fluffy Hamster, there was MTiger's personal bodyguard, the plexiglass clockwork ninja zombie pirate robot. There were several KOKOL guards in the distance rushing to join the King, including Grillhamo.

Mtiger braced himself. "Let us make use of this dark alliance to slay the greater evil that plagues both our houses. And let us make haste, for I do not wish to become more entangled in this ensnaring web than prudence compels me."

Catrina rose to her feet after giving the panther a lick on the cheek- one that made him smile and purr. "It seems you have a traitor to friendship and trust among you, lover- so don't act all 'holier than thou' today!" Her eyes burned holes into Grillhamo- or wanted to.

Blahking's knives twirled uneasily in his hands. Mtiger's mood changed not a bit. "Grillhamo has forsaken the way of darkness and chosen the way of penitence and restitution. He has realized the error of his ways and seeks to undo the harm he has done, knowing that the path of right living is never closed to even the most iniquitous. He has not a traitor become, no, he has ceased being a traitor to this world and its laws. This course is available to you as well, should you see the wisdom of following it."

Catrina growled. "And turn my back again on my mate and my brother? No, lover, that I will not do again!" Her frown grew into a smirk. "Although I'm sure if you wanted to take advantage of the ancient law we could clear that little matter up right here."

Mtiger ignored her offer. "I thought as much. Your choice undermines you even now. In the fullness of time, it will destroy you. As far as the ancient law, my time is best left to matters of higher honor."

"Do you need to demean me any more, lover, or can we do what we came here to do?"

"Verily. Let us depart for battle."

"We'll crush them easily."

* * *

The combined armies of Catrina and Mtiger ran in retreat as the zombies swarmed behind them. They had lost a few, and were facing total annihilation if they didn't get away from the tsunami of death that followed in their wake.

Mtiger brushed the blood from around his eyes and peered ahead and squinted, "More of them!"

"Your eyes are weak, Lover," said Catrina. "Those are reinforcements! Fumblies, Kadlin, join up with us."

Kadlin shouted something unintelligible and pointed ahead of her. As the two armies got closer together, the cats finally could make out what she was saying "They're behind us! Run."

"They hound us as well," said Mtiger.

"Then we hold and fight," said Fumblies. Catrina and Mtiger nodded. The commanders ordered their forces to stand back to back in a line, though Kadlin was mostly distracted by the spell she was working.

As the zombies on both sides drew near, Kadlin opened the gates of Hey Deze on both sides, and in dual pentagrams the spirits from the underworld attacked the zombies, taking them down one by one. Kadlin shouted a single word "Desangre" and a half dozen spines of black magic pierced her body, the payment that allowed her to not simply bend the rules of reality with her magic, but break them with dark witchcraft. A massive demon appeared in each circle, and they unleashed fiery breath that halved the ranks of the undead. Kadlin collapsed to the ground from blood loss.

The soldiers finished the job, and one of Catrina's healers tended to Kadlin. The ground was safe, for the time being, and as the wounded were treated, the commanders had a chance to talk to each other.

"We need to join forces," said Blahking.

"Agreed," said Fumblies, popping his shoulder back into its socket with a wince.

"I shall take command," said Mtiger.

"Of what?" asked Catrina. "These troops are mostly mine."

"Your ears fail you. Konall's phalanx approach from the North." They both listened to the sound of a swearing Viking leading his men toward their position.

"Konall," said Mtiger, "Your presence warms my heart."

"I still have more men here than you," said Catrina. "So you two go play kissie and let me lead the armies to victory."

"My men will not deign to follow your black heart," said Mtiger.

"And my men won't follow you," said Catrina.

"You have neither the tactics nor the mercy to lead these men," said Mtiger.

"And you're too weak!"

Kadlin managed to stand up and shout "Enough!" Everyone stared at her for a second and she continued. "Mtiger, there's no way you're going to be leading the combined forces. As the leader of KoKoL, no one in the Feline Empire will follow you. Catrina, you have a similar problem. Konall isn't an option, he'd make sure that no goblins survived."

"Wait a minute!" Konall said. "I wouldn't do that."

"Yes you would," said Kadlin.

Konall thought as he bandaged his arm. "Yeah, I probably would. But I'm not following Fumblies. He'd do the same to my forces."

"He very well might," said Kadlin. "That's why I'm leading the combined forces. Mtiger, do you think I would risk a defeat just to spite my enemies? Or would I try to make sure as many of use make it out alive after completely crushing the enemy?"

Mtiger paused. "Your heart is freezing, but it is not yet that hard. You would lead with honor."

"Absolutely," said Kadlin. "And I am Kadlin, the smartest of the Bearsmasher clan. Does anyone doubt my prowess in battle or my will to win? How about my tactics or my experience in the ways of war?" No one objected. "Then I lead."

She gathered the leaders. "Now the main problem we've been having is moving through the city. Or formations get broken up over the ruined terrain and the undead come out of the woodworks. If we could get them to come to us, our formation would crush their sporadic attempts.

"We just need to get all our forces in a defensible position and hold that place against all the zombies."

"And where would that be?" asked Catrina.

Kadlin pointed. "That building there. Part of the south face is destroyed. We put our soldiers in two ranks right across the gap in the wall. The right half will be led by Konall, the left by Fumblies. It's a two-story building with a flat roof, so we place our ranged combatants on top of the roof, along with me.

"We station a guard at every ground-level window and four at each of the three doors that leads to the outside. The big doorway at the front will have eight soldiers guarding it, led by Mtiger. And Catrina handles the reinforcements stationed indoors. Any questions?"

"Just one," said Konall, "How do we get them to come to us?"

"Simple. Loud noises drive them berserk. I'll handle that part."

* * *

As the soldiers stood in position, Kadlin motioned to one of her brutes. The abomination let out a piercing shriek that paralyzed everyone around him with fear. The shriek was ear-splittingly loud, and it echoed throughout the city. As one, the zombies swarmed toward the center of the noise, anger overriding any other thought.

Kadlin wiped the last of the mana potion from her lips. "Everyone get ready. One slipup and they get through our lines."

The zombies began attacking them one at a time, but a lone zombie could be attacked by three men at once. For a few minutes, things went smoothly. Kadlin used her magic to smash the first horde that came in. It was the second one that followed right after that really caused problems.

Hundreds of zombies slammed into the south ranks. The first wave died, but they were followed by even more who strode over their fallen brethren as the soldiers struggled to remove their weapons from the fallen bodies for a second stab. Two of Fumblies' soldiers right next to each other went down, as did the one behind them.

And that was it. There was a hole in the ranks, and the flood of zombies pushed into it, widening that hole as several more soldiers went down.

Suddenly, a group of Catrina's elites came in, scimitars drawn. They hacked back through the horde and plugged the hole for the time being.

Meanwhile, Mtiger's team was being overwhelmed by a similar horde. The mass was crawling over itself to get in to fight the handful of troops in the narrow gap in the wall. Only one of Kadlin's hellgates was enough to bring some respite.

Kadlin looked over at a nearby rooftop. There were men in robes. Mages? They were chanting. Friendly or not? The zombies swarmed around them but didn't offer any challenge. Not friendly. As she readied a rain of macaroni shards, the earth moved and a narrow bridge formed between the two buildings. The zombies swarmed across as if driven by the devil himself.

Kadlin let loose the macaroni and shifted to bear form. She rushed the bridge arms sending zombies off on both sides. One grabbed her, but she snapped her jaws into its neck and flung it off.

She plowed through the horde and concentrated on the mages. Zombies flew away on either side as she brought down one cultist then the next. Whoever these guys were, they wouldn't be causing problems for much longer.

Kadlin was too deep in a berserk fury to notice Aleena and Max picking off the zombies that were harassing her flanks. She was still taking damage here and there, but not enough to threaten her thick hid.

As Kadlin killed off the remaining cultists, Fumblies and Konall's troops were taking another pounding. One of Kadlin's brutes charged forward, stabbing into zombies with its arm spines. It was dragged to the ground under a mass of undead. But the brute was covered in the skin of the pikachu eel, and it let loose lethal bursts of electricity that left anything that touched it a quivering and smoking mess.

Konall moved to cover the gap, berserking. He was aware of nothing but his sword as it hacked the zombies around him to pieces and his spiked shield as it impaled everything in its path. He felt rage too, and in the back of his mind he was inspired by Spaz's music.

Finally, the rage ended and he looked around. He was standing on a mound of bodies, most of them hacked apart by him, and he was all alone. Suddenly aware of the gashes he had acquired, he backed slowly toward his lines, but there weren't many enemies left to get in his way.

On another side, Mtiger was taking point as his troops faced a rush of undead. Awakensun's magic softened up the zombies and made them easy killing, however. The zombies seemed to communicate through pheromones and scent glands, a system which Awaken's wind and stench magic tore to pieces.

Kadlin finished off the rooftop crowd and transformed back into her human form. As she downed a health potion, she surveyed the scene. The zombies had stopped their charge against the building. They were just standing in a circle around it. And there was another cultist- Blood of Ein! He was rallying the undead for one more charge. Instead of hitting the building a few at a time, they'd be an unending charge. The forces on the rooftop were a diversion. Sweating, Kadlin scrambled back across the bridge.

Suddenly, a roar went up from thousands of zombies, a roar that combined fury with hunger, and then as one they charged the building.

Konall and Fumblies' forces held strong. But striking down one zombie only opened the hole for another, and their numbers didn't stop. Within minutes half of the first ranks were down on the ground, with holes opening up in the second ranks. Konall managed to hold strong, along with most of his committee while Fumblies and both of Kadlin's remaining brutes were building a small mound of bodies at their feet.

Mtiger's forces were taking a similar pounding. One by one his men fell under the unending onslaught. Mtiger growled. "The wounded need retreat to the sanctuary of the roof. I will guard your escape." His men hesitated to abandon their leader, but they knew they could do nothing, and so they obeyed the order.

Mtiger fought like a lion, striking two and three zombies apart at a time. He battled on, drenched in black blood as his blade dismembered undead with every strike. His NPZR stood beside him, fighting to the end. It leaped and stabbed a zombie in the back, held on and shot another one in the head with its free arm, then fired a set of missiles at a third, and ate the brains of the one it was holding on to. Blahking was right behind them, a whirlwind of destruction as his magic blades cut gashes into torsos and severed heads from bodies.

Catrina's reinforcements were too busy dealing with the zombies that were slipping through the cracks in the defensive lines to offer any help.

But not all the zombies were content to smash through the lines on the ground floor. They climbed the building, slaughtering the guards at the windows and pouring in. They reached the top of the building and began pouring over.

Konall and Fumblies looked at each other, a single glance into one another's eyes that spoke volumes. "We have to retreat," it said. "I don't like it, I don't want to, but there's no other choice."

Fumblies gave the order first, and Konall echoed it. The brutes were in a battle rampage and couldn't respond in any case, but the dozen soldiers left fought their way back.

At the wide doorway, Mtiger heard a voice. He couldn't quite make it out over the din of battle, but he caught it the second time. It was Grillhamo. "We're retreating to the roof. Come on!"

But those few words provided the slightest of distractions. Mtiger's blade faltered for a tenth of a second and it missed its target. That zombie got past Mtiger's guard and knocked him to the ground. In half a second's time, there were five more zombies swarming him, tearing pieces of armor and flesh off him.

"No!" screamed Blahking. He ignored a broken rib and slaughtered the zombies attacking Mtiger in two swift blows and protected his king's body with everything he had. Grillhamo lifted the body and carried it toward the stairs to the rooftop while the NPZR cleared the way.

As they limped up the stairs, the battered Konall and Fumblies came up behind them. Together, the band fought their way to the rooftop entrance. Catrina's forces were already on the rooftop, in a defensive ring around the archers and mages. A few of them were guarding the stairs to the roof, which the retreating soldiers quickly cleared. Konall and Fumblies took their places guarding the stairs, and everyone else joined the circle.

Kadlin stared out at the scene. Her forces were almost completely eradicated. There were maybe fifty men remaining, and those were dying even now. Her forces were in a small circle on the rooftop. Meanwhile, the entire rest of the roof was covered in zombies standing shoulder to shoulder. As soon as one died, another took its place, and another moved onto the roof.

What would she do? There was no spell she knew, no tactics she could devise that would overcome this many enemies. And then she blacked out. The sword rippled with black flame and sucked the light out of the area, leaving the daylight as dark a moonless night.

A wave of terror passed over the struggling armies that overwhelmed their regular fear of death. This fear spoke of worse things that pain and death, horrors incomprehensible and unimaginable. Kadlin's mouth opened, and words came out of her mouth. "ŊƸǷʃ Ï ÏªÏ®Ï—Æ”Ï¡Ï¯Î¶Ï¾Ñº â‚°" Immediately, pieces flew off the zombies and were sucked into a whirlwind of flesh, bone, organs, and limbs. The entirety of the horde was taken bit by bit and combined into a slowly forming monstrosity.

When it was finished, the result was hideous beyond belief. A massive grublike form sprouted mismatched human and goblin limbs all over its body. It was covered in oozing sacs of green pus and had a sickly grey tone on its mottled skin. Its jagged teeth were made of snapped bones, and the mismatched set jutted out at random angles. The jaws were big enough to eat Kadlin's entire army in one bite. Blood and bile drooled from its mouth and stained the street below. It had three small wings that had no hope of supporting its bloated body. It shrieked in misery and strained to move forward toward the roof, cramming its bulk between two buildings. It convulsed and thrashed as if not in complete control of its own body.

The creature had two forelimbs that were alternatively clawing at nothing and trying to drag its body forward as the cobblestones below it tore gashes into its stomach. Suddenly a deafening cry of anguish and rage came from a hundred mouths all over its body. Each one screamed its own wail of torment that added into a chorus of misery, rage, and confusion as each tried to drown out the others.

A tumor started expanding on the monster's side, and in less than a minute it grew to twice the size of a horse. It broke through the skin and fell on the ground in a puddle of ooze. The tumor was a nine-headed beast that stood on three legs and managed to walk a few steps before dying of what looked like suffocation.

The ooze began evaporating into a noxious gas that stank of death, excrement, and putrefaction.

Some of the soldiers were standing stuck in fear, or bent over vomiting from horror and disgust.

Suddenly, the abomination started tearing in half at the middle. The back end sprouted poisonous barbed tentacles and started whipping the front end while the front tried to turn and devour the back. Eventually, the front was able to sink its fangs into its other half, and though most of the teeth snapped in half or broke out of the jaw, a few struck home and finished the job. But the remaining half was already succumbing to the poison, and it died in a few beatings of its hearts. The parts of the abomination that weren't turning half to ooze were thrashing in death throes.

One by one the remnant on the rooftop snapped out of shock and began gathering the wounded for healing. Kadlin herself was catatonic, eyes open but unmoving and unresponsive.

 


We've had an amazing Finale in our first three parts.

But part IV literally blows them away. Since I wasn't involved in writing (maybe a little in plotting/ editing), I can unabashedly call this "pure epic."

I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. I can only hope our future seasons are able to measure up to the season that started it all. Oh, you're right. It's not done yet. There's another part to act as the epilogue to all of this.

 
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Kingdom of Loathing (KOL) is a (mostly) original online game that apparently has something to do with Asymmetric Publications, LLC, and something called a Jick, who probably copyrighted it. This is the archive for an interactive writing game based on KOL, and a specific clan within- the Kingdom of KOL. Specific characters belong to their specific owners, specifically, unless specifically stated otherwise. This game was developed by Joshua A. Dexter, with rules based in part on Mercenary and Equinox. Live Roleplay rules developed and balanced by Cameron Millar. This is a non profit game done for entertainment purposes only. If a rash develops on your imagination, desist use immediately and consult a physician, psychologist, or 1-900 psychic for further assistance. KOL forums, store, entry at Answers, KOL's entry at Archive.org, and it's entry at Wikipedia, and KOL's own wiki. - JAD
In other words, I don't own KOL, or KOKOL, and KOL doesn't own KOL. Get it? Good!
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