Ooookay.

Interesting note: this took place two years, two days after the last entry here, so you can tell the Tavern section kind of gets ignored..

Required a fair bit of editing which is unusual for Konall pieces, but it's funny.. off the wall funny!

Plus it's cool seeing Spaz get a starring role.

Konall was working on his meat engine. "Spaz, hand me a monkey wrench," he said.

"Here you go," said Spaz. "Made with real monkeys. I like bananas."

Konall: "Thanks. Now I need weld there." Spaz spat flame, combining two metal joints.

Konall: "That was a great party last night. Meat, booze, and a naked chick." Spaz: "But no toast." Konall continued to fashion makeshift parts.

Suddenly, the air grew hot. A black demon appeared in Konall's living room, uninvited no less.

Konall: "What business do you with me, foul fiend?!"

"None," replied the demon. “I am only here to watch my pet battle yours and defeat it.”

“Hah,” spat Konall “Spaz has the heart of a warrior. Kidneys too. He’ll beat your familiar.”

“Would you like to place a wager on that?”

“Absolutely, my last 100 meat.”

“Very well.”

A tiny demon of disco flew out from behind the larger one.

“My name is Zaps. Prepare to be humiliated.”

The little demon held an electric guitar in its hands.

“I’ve been preparing for this fight,” said Spaz, pulling out an accordion.

“Spaz,” Konall said, “Use the pitchfork.”

Spaz replied “No, this is a battle of the bards. We do this with music. Ready, Zaps?”

“Ready to win,” said Zaps.

Konall said, “What’s going on?”

“This was my rival in Hey Deze” said Spaz. “This guy always bragged about how he was a better musician. You’re doing a good job on the carburetor. Zaps got all the succubus babes. I left to train, vowing to fight him again in five years. Well now it’s polka time. Who wants ice cream?”

“The time for ice cream has passed,” said Zaps. “Fight!”

Zaps rosined up his guitar and it let out an evil hiss. He played a song that summoned a ghostly violin section, backing him up.

Spaz broke out into an accordion frenzy with a song called “Fire on the Mountain (Run Boys Run).” The undead musicians were engulfed in tiny flames and they began to falter and stumble in their music, hampered by hot damage. And then, in a flash, the disappeared.

Zaps’s cockiness faded a bit. “Nice try. My band may be gone, but your fire won’t affect me.”

Zaps began shredding some riffs, summoning all the badassness his tiny frame could muster. High-pitched wailing filled the room, and all the lights went out.”

“Ha,” said Zaps, “To beat that, you’ll have to play the best song in the world.”

“Well, then,” said Spaz, “how many words do the Irish have for drunk?”

Spaz played a song, and by pure happenstance it was the best song in the world. Zaps screamed in terror, and flew straight back to Hey Deze, dropping his guitar.

“So,” said the black demon, “you won this bet, and here is your golden fiddle.”

“What!” said Konall “Gimme my hundred meat.”

“Oh, right. Sorry. Force of habit.”

The demon left. And Spaz and Konall were alone.

Konall: “Well done Spaz. I never knew you learned to play the accordion.”

Spaz: “There’s a lot you don’t know about me. Like that time I joined the Seal Liberation Front.”

Konall: “What!”

Spaz and his crazy adventures...

Up next, the Typical Tavern's first.. LIVE RP!