This Rollover covers quite a lot of ground. The downside is, it also delayed AIL's mission from starting until over a month after the last one ended.
     On the upside, though, we'll see the full meeting of the Elite 7 for the first and last time. I also took the winners of the previous mission and had them tag alongside Prince Blahking to meet with the Council of Loathing, which made for some fun writing.

We don't just reuse the first three Council members from the last mission. This time, we add the five "Council Friends," and reveal who the next three Council members are in our Rollover. Then, we reveal the surprise final member somewhere in the Mission Finale.

This mission sees the debut of a new clan and their first active member. We also see Becky Joy, Todd Blackpaws, Lapine, and Zanther Wolf make their AIL debuts! Higgy makes his only AIL appearance so far during the Interlude and Blahking is back for a proper co write with Dash.

Despite the problems with the mission, I'm quite happy with the results. With half the participants trying to build a meat car and the other half seeking interesting ways to impress the Council, things were always interesting!

From the tension in the Elite 7 meeting to the bickering among our KOKOL representatives and absurdity of the Council of Loathing, it's a hell of a read.

The throne room had been cleared out in the interests of both security and space issues. Although he would only be joined by ten individuals, they were of a most volatile nature. The King sat, stewing, his mind still aflame from the indignation of it all... the plotting behind his back.. He grasped the golden edge of his makeshaft throne tight, letting the emotions drain from his face and mind to the best of his ability.

Minutes passed. The first two were, unsurprisingly, the closest to the Knob Goblin ranks. The ever silent Black Paladin, and the Elite Guard's very own Elite 7, Grillhamo. Grillhamo greeted the King with a respectful, "Yo, your awesomeness! What's up?"

The Goblin nodded. "Grillhamo, ready to bust some ass this week?"

"I feel like I could bust asses for the next month or two!" Grillhamo nodded. The Paladin stood there, giving off no emotion at all. I don't know why I felt the need to point that out.

The King gave a slight indication he agreed. "I'll have to help you keep the other 'Elite' in line, then."

"Awesome!" Grillhamo kissed up. The Black Paladin merely stood there, silent.

"Yes, yes, I am." The King of the Goblins posed and gloated internally as the door swung open wide and loud, giving the three Goblins a slight start. Cattaras strode boldly into the room, a smile on his face letting them know he enjoyed the attention. He looked around, then turned and gave a nod to someone. Daisuke walked into the room, same angry look on his face as always.

"Alright, let's get this over with," he growled.

"Soon as the others arrive, m'good boy," the King responded, with a bit of pride in his voice.

"Great," Cattaras spit.

The fur on both felines rose a bit as they looked towards the door. "What're THEY doing here?!" Daisuke demanded of the yet unseen figures lurking silently beyond.

"They ARE Elite Seven!" Grillhamo interjected, figuring out who he was referring to. "Treat them with some respect, commoner!"

Daisuke turned towards Grillhamo with that "I'm gonna murder you" look. The King ignored it altogether as he answered the question. "Why.. they HAVE to be here.. so we can all meet the final member of the Elite 7!"

As the two starred each other down, the door was nudged open slightly, as a small ratlike nose poked into view for a second. It vanished. Deciding the area was safe to enter, three Muri-dan shot into the room, scampering to a corner as they viewed the others with suspicion and loathing.

Jerome bowed his head slightly as he talked. "We've come, as per your instructions, Goblin King."

Stewie looked around, his rat like tail flickering slightly. The other two were silent, but obviously wondering what was going on.. suspicious of the others.

"As per my orders," The King clarified. "This will be our most ambitious undertaking to date. We'll need our most elite forces for this undertaking."

"Then it's a good thing my invitation didn't get lost in the mail!" The loud cackle of the flamboyant Jester King of Beasts filled the room to the annoyance of most of those present. He floated *through* the door, then returned to his physical form, turning to open it with a deep bow for the next entry into the group; Amras.

Amras strode into the room, obviously not happy to be there. The feeling seemed mutual among the others the Goblin King had gathered.

With Amras's entrance, the floor near the door started to glow with runes, runes comprised of a mixture of devilish and draconic script. The runes then burst into flame, dark and green, unnatural at the very least. As the flames died down, a single entity revealed itself, a succubus... no. A half dragon succubus, copper scaled and winged, claws and talons sharper than even an ordinary succubus' by far. "So, this mighty king is the one that sent his mere forces to retrieve me from my slumber. An awakening tainted by dragon soul and battle... Foolish king..."

Her gaze turned to Amras, angered moreso by his presence. "And you, rabbit. You... You caused part of this... I sensed your presence, you fought with the ones that ruined the ceremony!" She stood ready to smite him with unholy rage, rage only held at bay by the goblin king at hand. "I shall hold my hand for now, the king here holds my loyalty... for now..."

"You'd best show some respect towards the King, you HALFLING!" Grillhamo responded defensively. "Or else!"

"And you, warrior... Your name," the half dragon smiled to herself. "Yes, this meeting requires introductions, I know your auras, but not your names." She pointed to Grillhamo, first, her gaze locked on his to draw out his name.

"Grillhamo, and don't you forget it!" he threatened. Then he changed his tone, smitten. "Would you like me to write it down along with my room number?"

"No, that will not be necessary, Grillhamo. You, in the dark armor." She shift her gaze, almost shaken by the Dark Knight.

He glared, not answering and bowed slightly, respectfully. Grillhamo spoke in his stead. "Oh, him, that's the Black Paladin. Quiet dude."

She smiled inwardly as she turned to Cattaras and Daisuke. "You two... Are familiar, yet... Not at the same time. Your names, both of you." She almost snarled, the anger at the feline from the battle that disturbed the summons still fresh in her mind.

"What is the POINT of this?!" Daisuke demanded. He glared at Cattaras, giving an obvious sign for him to answer.

"I am Cattaras of the Whiteclaw family, and humble servant to Daisuke of the Elite Seven," Cattaras answered, sharply. (Or cattily, if you're into puns.)

"Be wary of yourselves. I sense distrust..." She turned her attention to the Muri-dan, intrigued and curious still. "You three are Muri-dan, I know of your ilk. Speak not... I'll know your names in time..." Her gaze turned to the JKotB... "And you, the so called Jester King of the Beasts... Your power is owed to my kind, is it not?" She laughed darkly, knowing him from someplace in the dark recesses of the Abyss.

The Jester King straightened up in surprise, obviously taken back by her apparent knowledge of him. "er.. The origins of my power are unknowable to all but the most demonic of..." His voice trailed off.

"Yes, yes, this is all very interesting!" The King interrupted, commanding their attention once more. "Why you even need to have names and not simply numbers is beyond me. But ENOUGH!" The King rose from his chair in anger. "There's most disturbing news afoot!"

"Amras and I are.. eager.. to provide our services," Cattaras spoke. "As per our agreement."

"My liege... No news can be as disturbing as having to deal with these... creatures..." She gave the king a disdainful look, but allowed him to speak. "My services are yours, until the contract is broken."

"Black Paladin and I live to serve the King!" Grillhamo snapped his fist to his heart.

"Duh," the King answered. "It would seem our latest rivals are totally conversing with the idiot committee in Seaside Town!" He sneered as he complained. "We can't let the Seaside forces fall behind the tomcat 'King' and his ragtag army!"

"If it is these forces that ruined the summons, then you have my word that they shall fall. One only need turn them against each other... And I think...." She looked down to Amras, smiling. "I think we could do so very easily if we expose this traitor to them. I sense the female rabbit is blind to his true allegiance."

Amras smiled slightly. "Indeed."

"So we're going after Dash and the other idiots, huh?" Cattaras summed it up.

"No, not at all," the King said, dismissively. "Let me FINISH! Since we obviously had trouble with them before, I suggest a plan more in fitting with your.. abilities."

"Oh come on!" Grillhamo complained. "Just give us another shot at them! I already beat up that .. Raw Clide jerk, and he's the biggest one they got left! Just gimme a shot at the rest and I promise.."

"Your promises mean NOTHING to me!" The King spat. "No.. we'll be learning of their next task for the dogs of the Council.. and we'll be ensuring their plan FAILS! We will most certainly NOT be helping them accomplish their goals this time!"

He glared at Amras he as spoke.

Amras answered nervously, "But, King, it was your desire that the bonerdagon be defeated, was it not?"

She snarled in anger. "So... YOU.... You wanted the bonerdagon reduced to a pile of rubble and bone? You wanted the summons ruined to warp my body?"

The king smiled slightly, obviously showing no fear. "Quite the opposite, m'dear," the King leaned forward, speaking on a condescending voice. "We opted to have the cursed 'dargon taken care of, least he bring ruin to our lands. Your.. obligation to us was merely an expected - and highly desired - bonus. Conceived by my own finest masters of the dark arts. Besides, you gotta admit, it was a kick ass plan."

The succubus snarled softly, less so a fan of the idea, though it did indeed enhance her abilities. "Fine, then continue your explanations of the plans. I have my own idea on how to ruin the forces that oppose you."

The King rolled his eyes. "Since I'm sensing that you need to practice your teamwork and initiative, I'll allow you to come up with the details. I simply wish to see as many of the Council kidnapped and returned to me as possible. Oh, and make sure whatever mission they end up with fails, and that you kill.. kill. KILL as many members of their forces- KOKOL or otherwise- as your.. limited collective talents.. allow you!"

Daisuke's tail flipped as his mind processed the whole scenario. "How did you come into possession of this magnificent.. being?" He glared at her, sizing up the dragoness's potential danger.

"Ohh, I want to hear this myself!" The Jester King of Beasts exclaimed, chanting, "Story time, story time!"

The succubus' wings curl around her body, covering herself as she spoke. "Myself, I was meant to be summoned, by the Goblin King's most powerful summoners. It took six of them to do so, so powerful might not be the word for these... fools. They were to summon me near the crypt of the bonerdagon, where fel forces were converged many times over. Unfortunately, their summons also stirred up the undead in the crypt... And then... well, the defeat of the bonerdagon... that caused part of the soul, a copper drake, to fuse with mine. Fools, they could not handle my might, and now they have made me stronger... BETTER!"

"Yes," Amras answered dryly with a hint of sarcasm. "I could see how this would make you cross with them."

"I suggest we divide into two teams, then!" Grillhamo suggested, doing his best to look good in front of the King. "Black Paladin and I can each take half of you and lead us to victory.. once we obtain our mission specs, of course." He turned to the succubus, leering at her. "What shall we be calling this lovely creature?"

With a silent chuckle, the succubus spoke her mind, "Grillhamo, I am called Nipha, but you may not call me at all."

"Awww," he whined. "Are we deciding teams now, King?"

"No!" he snapped. "I've had enough of you, and it's my nap time! Out!"

There was general grumbling and infighting among the ten as they filed out, but the next part of this story didn't come until later in the week.

The location: Seaside Town. Deep in the heart of Seaside Town lies the city's ruling heads, King Ralph XI and the Council of Loathing. Beneath the dome, the important work of Seaside Town goes on. (How's that for a contradiction?)

The streets overflowe with bums and lizards. Six foot tall talking lizards. I'm sure you know the ones of which I speak.

The town divides itself into nine separate parts, although our focus is the town center, the Council's domed building. Seriously, important stuff goes on there. Like.. ahh.. deciding the taxes which you never hear about.

Seaside Town, the center of the known Kingdom of KOL! Envy of.. ahh- well, backworld countries, I'm sure. Though certainly not the envy of the world's more advanced population, I suspect. Although I guess they might secretly be jealous of the world famous Bugbear bakery.

By world famous, I mean exactly the opposite. But that won't stop someone from singing about it! Or at least, putting it in proper prose.

In a far off town, right next to the sea. Came a little starting town, for you and for me.

 
Seaside Town

 
In a quiet corner in the other side of the tracks Stood a single clown, dressed all in black.

 
One clown town

 
Went searching for rum, on the other side. Hit by a rushing bum, knocked down on his hide.

 
Clown knocked down

 
He pulled himself up to find new ventures While near him, came... three new adventurers

 
Story starts now

 
A royal prince, with magic a plenty; A dashing rogue, with breath.. a'minty.

 
Leaves just one

 
He was a carefree hero with eyes like an eagle And a trusty companion that smelled like a beagle

 
Shamus's the One!

 
---*----

 
"And a trusty companion that smelled like a beagle! Duhnaduh, Shamus's the one! duhnaduh.." belted an off-tune, loud voice.

"Will you STOP with that infernal racket you call singing?!" Sebastian Dash finally demanded of his travel companion.. one of three.

"Indeed," Blahking half heartedly agreed with a slight nod of his head.

"Awww, shucks, you two are no fun," Shamus X-Treme retorted.

"No, they're right, you pretty much suck," Inu sang (not literally) in agreement.

"I'm just happy to be back in this miserable little dump," Shamus sang. "It feels like it's been months since I was last here!"

"Well," Blahking retorted sharply, "It wasn't."

Inu laughed and thought about commenting on that but didn't.

"And we're here for important business, so no goofing off," Blahking continued.

"Awwww," whined Shamus.

"And no constant 'social commentary' about how 'corrupt' the Council is," Blahking continued, turning his attention to Dash. "OR stealing documents that you think may or may not lead to some over the top super secret, evil plan against innocent children, or kittens, or whatever. We're here to impress them, not get impeached. Got it?"

Dash bit his lip, a bit embarrassed, and simply nodded.

"Alright, so basically, let me do the talking," he concluded as they made their way down the busy streets to the door. "And be ready to wait.. patiently.."

Dash nodded and Shamus sighed. Blahking had a feeling it wouldn't be that simple, however...

"No, Shamus, that is seriously the single most ridiculous, annoying, absurd, and also, obnoxious thing I have ever heard, you sniveling, wretched little being!" Inu responded. "No, no, NO!"

"I'm telling you, it's a law of nature," Shamus answered. "An undeniable and absolute fact. Look it up."

"How many chameleons, even comma chameleons, do you know who can read, huh?" Inu answered in a fit of rage. "And you smell like booze!"

"How would you know? And another thing.." Shamus started.

"Ahh, ENOUGH things!" Dash finally interjected in a loud, annoyed voice. "Do you two argue like this all the time?!"

Shamus and Inu glanced at each other, then both answered simply, "Yes."

"But, I mean, can you blame me, though?" Inu asked.

"Yes!" Dash said loudly, exasperated from the back and forth non stop bickering between Shamus and his own familiar. "You two are driving me nuts, and not doing much to reflect on us in front of the Council, either! The last thing we need is to raise a ruckus here, so if you two could break it off for a second, I'd apprecia - what?"

Dash paused. "Why're you all looking at me like that?"

"You're ahh." Blahking tried to find a delicate way to phrase it. "Attracting a little attention."

Dash looked around, embarrassed to realize how loud he'd raised his voice in annoyance. Dash folded his arms across his wide chest and sighed.

"Thought you said we didn't need to raise a ruckus," Shamus mockingly observed.

"Shut up, Shamus," answered the other three.

Inside the Council of Loathing main area, our three Council members seen in the last Rollover are sitting around a table, swapping war stories and deciding the fate of the universe.

"So," the first of the three told the other two, "the guy says to me, 'What you need to do is outfit your staff with tuxedos. This would please us greatly,' and I'm like, tuxedos? Where are we gonna find those?"

The other two shared a laugh. "Is he the one who'll be running the place?"

"No, that's 'Uncle.." the third cut him off with a clearing of the throat.

The other two turned to see what he was indicating at.

Blahking politely nodded and greeted each in turn and steadied himself for a possible surge of annoyance, like last time. "Dewey. Cheetham. Howe."

He still wasn't totally sure which was which.

"Oh, it's him," one of them pointed out. "That one guy."

"That did the thing," another usefully observed.

"For that one thing," the third chimed in. "Didn't he do that one other thing, too?"

"No," another answered, "He did that one thing and that other one thing, remember?"

Blahking cleared his throat. The two gentlemen behind him stepped more clearly into view. "Our allies here, our freelance adventurer Sebastian Dash and our hired temporary bounty hunter Shamus XTreme here, returned to you the desired mosquito laurve and the skull of the once again deceased bonerdargon, if you'll recall."

The three council members just looked at him as if he'd stated air could be breathed. "Why yes," one of them answered. "That's just exactly what we stated, just now this very minute."

"Weren't you listening?" another asked.

"Maybe he has the rare parrot skill!" another excitedly observed.

"Oh, do you think he'll repeat me next? I hope he does!" The third said, also excited.

Blahking cleared his throat, hardly in the mood for this.. whatever this was. "Indeed. I believe we're here to gather the rewards, and meet the King, then?"

"Oh, heavens no!" one of the three responded. The one that looked like a scammer. Oh wait, that's all three of them.

Blahking hesitated, his temper starting to get the better of him, and replied, in disbelief, ".... No?"

"Oh no, indeed not," another of them answered. "You'd need a full meeting with the full Council members in order to formally make that request."

"Listen here, you snivelling..." Blahking started, having finally reached his boiling point.

He stopped as Shamus and Dash put a hand on his shoulder. Shamus stepped in front of him. "What my, er, King here meant to say is, we're delighted to hear that."

"Prince," Dash corrected. "It means we're one step closer to said meeting," Dash said, smiling as best he could. "We're looking forward to meeting the remainder of the Council so much, in fact, that we're hoping you could save us the time and anticipation of waiting for them, and call the full meeting now."

The three looked at each other, excused themselves to the other side of the room, and briefly chittered excitedly.

"Me and my colleges," one of them started.

"Yes, my colleagues and I," another chimed in.

"The three of us have come to the conclusion that this would be a wonderful idea!" noted the third.

Blahking blinked in surprise, not quite believing it.

"Yes, that would be!"

"So, how soon can we meet with the full council?" Shamus asked, cautiously.

"We don't know!" one of them casually- but enthusiastically- replied.

"Is there anyone who would know?" Dash asked through gritted teeth.

"Wellll, yes," one of them answered after a long pause. The other two looked at him, then nodded gravely. "If that's what they wish, then I propose we send them forward to the Council Friends for to gain additional approval."

"The.. Council Friends?" Blahking asked in disbelief.

"Are you kidding me?" Dash asked Shamus on the side.

"I dunno," Shamus answered. "They kinda sound cool. Ow!"

The 'ow' is due to Inu kicking him and honestly, can you blame her?

"Right along with you, then!" said the three council members in unison as they ushered the three KOKOL adventurers towards a bookshelf. One of the Council members pushed it aside to reveal a slide, while another of the three scribbled a note on a scroll, and handed it to Blahking.

"What's this?" Blahking asked, a deep frown on his face as Shamus leaned in to see what was down there.

"Off we go!" Inu said, sending Shamus down the slide with a well placed kick to the rear. Shamus screamed, Inu giggled and turned. "Before I jump in, is there anything down there that might kill me? Say, a giant trash compactor or a monster?"

"Shouldn't you have asked that before you shoved poor Sammy down the hatch?" Dash asked in disbelief.

Inu blinked, confused. "Why?"

Before Dash could think of a suitable reply, the three Council members started chatting again. Dammit! "No, no, no. Nothing to worry about at all. You'll just be meeting the other five members of the Council. Well, the next five."

"Yes," another said, and the third interrupted him to say, "And if they approve, we've no problem calling a full meeting of the Council to weigh the merits of your request."

Dash looked at Blahking, a look of stubborn determination on his face. "I'm not really sold on this thing."

Blahking shrugged, not happy with this sudden randomness, nor with the road block in front of their progress. "Neither am I.. but if we're going to get what we need, we've got to be fully committed." He slipped wordlessly into the chute, with Inu hopping on his shoulder for good measure. She let out a "whee" as they slid down. Reluctantly ignoring the chitter chatter from the Council members, Dash hopped in as well, sliding down after them.

*Cue cheese theme music* Far beneath the famed Council of Loathing lies the great Cave of Justice. Gathered together from the ranks of the Council of Loathing, there are assembled the five greatest heroes of the Council's sad and pathetic history! *Cut to a shot of their heroic cave of loathing* Gathered together from the greatest cliche known to man.. they are.. the council friends.

 
Zake and Jilla, The Wonderful Couple!

And those three bumbling and youthful Jr Council members, Mendy and Warvin! And their pet beasthound, Glee the Wonder Monkey!

They are.. The Council Friends!

 
*flash several scenes of them in battle.. meaning Zake and Jilla touching rings in a flash.. Mendy and Warvin walking down a cave with a flashlight, and Glee the Wonder Dogmonkey hanging upside down, scratching himself.. I'll let you decide where*

*End cheesy music*

The COUNCIL FRIEEEENDS!

The four of them sat at the round stone table, with Glee the Wonder Dogmonkey hanging off a conveniently placed small trapeze hanging over the table. Scratching his or her wherever.

"So we're agreed?" Mendy asked of the Wonderful Couple, Zake and Jilla. "I'll be using the catch phrase 'oh my crackers,' Zake can continue using 'Crack-lacken,' and you can change yours to 'Zeekins,' Jilla?"

The two held hands and thought about it for a second. "Groovy!"

"Zeekins!" Jilla tested it out. "That sounds nifty!"

"What of our two reserve members, the mysterious Masked Fluffy and his manservant, the Boy Butler?"

"AHHHH!" came an excited voice from the nearby Justice Chute of entry. The five looked up, confused at the odd voice, and watched as it deposited Shamus into one of seven remaining empty chairs. "Whoa, that was surprisingly painfree for a 12 foot drop directly into a chair which seems to be made of stone."

"Who're you?" Mendy asked for the group, blinking in confusion.

"Or granite," Shamus said, examining it under him. "Yeah, that's gotta be granite. Stainless granite, from the looks of it. Although I guess by default, all granite is.."

"AHEM!" Mendy cleared her voice. "Who are you? Are you some horrible villain come to invade our hideout? Because if you are, we're not prepared to fight you and willingly surrender. If, on the other hand, you're an innocent hero who's accidentally stumbled in here by mistake, then we need to know that, so we can brutally beat you into submission to make sure you're not lying to us."

"Ahh, the third option," Shamus suggested.

"Third option?" Warvin scratched his head in confusion before adjusting his home made hero's cape. A dandy lime green number.

"Yeah, the one where we get sent down this weird slide to talk to you," Shamus said. "Something about us needing your permission to get a meeting with the full council, or something. I wasn't really paying attention, I guess."

"Hmmm, a Full Council Meeting," Mendy echoed.

"Yeah, the guys said we'd need to talk to all ... ahh.. eleven or thirteen of you to get a meeting with the King."

"We?" Zake asked. "You didn't come alone."

"No," Shamus asked. "The others should be here any second now."

"In that case," Zake warned him, "You probably should move out of that chair before.." He looked up, distracted by a long, loud sigh of frustration, just in time to see Blahking shoot from the above chute! He landed, of course, with on top of Shamus with a loud smashing sound. Possibly Shamus's bones.

"Ow!" Shamus exclaimed. Blahking jumped off of him, looking around in confused bemusement. "Wasn't expecting this." He took a few seconds to look around. "Ahh- nice cave. I assume you're the Council members to whom we must speak."

 
"Alright, if that's all of you," Mendy started to say.

"Nope, one more," Blahking said. Right on cue, Dash dropped out of the chute, also landing on Shamus. To Blahking's amusement. Inu glided down and landed on Blahking's shoulder. "Haha, that was totally worth the trip down!" proclaimed smiling Inu.

"URGH, Dash get OFF of me! Your sword hilt's jamming my ribs!"

"Shut up and be glad I didn't have time to adjust it, or it would have been the pointy end," Dash answered as he peeled himself off of the bounty hunter.

"So," Blahking said with a sneer, handing Zake the note to read. "You can probably guess by now, but we're here to call on a full meeting of the council, so we can have our case 'properly' heard."

"I'm guessing you'll have some absurd task for us to do," Dash said with an edge on his own voice. "Probably cleaning up oversized garbage in the nearby plains, or discovering the mysteries of The Ruins of Fernswarthy's Tower, so let's just get to it, so we can get this over with."

"Oh, no," Zake said, smiling like a dope. "We're good with the two tasks you've done, thanks."

Blahking raised his eyebrow a bit, suspiciously. "Well, that's pleasant news. So all you have to do now is assemble the council?"

"Hah, like it's EVER that simple!" Wonderful couple Zake said.

"Yeah, sorry, but there is one little catch," Mendy chimed in with an apologetic shrug as Zake snuck his arm around her waist.

"Yuck, couple time," Inu complained, turning her eyes away and hoping down on the table to investigate a nearby gingerbread house. Inside, she found a candydrop table, with a small book on it, titled "How to prove you're really the Masked Fluffy and NOT Fluffy Hamster" - by Fluffy Hamster (forward by Stephan Cleesh). Curious.

"Gosh golly by jolly, that's the house of our mysterious, anonymous member, the Masked Fluffy!" Warvin called out. "Why, even we, the other council members, can't imagine who his secret identity is!"

"Whatever," Blahking cut off a no doubt annoying rant in the making. "I knew there'd be a catch, so if you could be so kind as to fill us in on what we need to get the last three Council members to show up and do their job..."

"Oh, it's quite easy!" Mendy promised.

"It sure is!" Jilla chimed in. "High five, girlfriend!"

After the high five is given, Mendy explained, "All you'll have to do is impress them."

"Impress them how?" Dash asked as Shamus just sat there, trying to spin in his seat, which didn't work since its a granite chair, not a swivel chair.

"I don't know!"

"Well," Blahking asked. "Who are the final three members?"

"Didn't you know?" Mendy asked in a good natured tone. "The final three members, the epic members, you might say, are the heads of the local guilds!"

The magical screen up behind them lights up- er- magically, and displays a picture of a rather muscular individual, in a heavy chain mail armor, boots and all, but no helmet, revealing a scarred, battle weary face. He's doing chin ups with one hand, and eating a barely cooked steak with his free hand.

Text magically flashes over the magical screen. Whoa, beefy!

"Lord of the Smackdown, Gunther!"

The image is quickly replaced by a character in light gray robes, using magic to do three tasks at once; playing wizard's hangman with the local pastamancer, telepathically building a sandwich with his magic, and also doing magical tricks with the wand in his free hand for children gathered at his feet.

That enchanted, magical, mysterious, wizardly text again appears to let us know who this fine, outstanding, wise individual is!

"The chief chef in charge, Gorgonzola!"

The next one is .. seedier. It shows a shifty character in light gray leather, with a disco mask and a stolen accordion strap, dealing cards in one hand while counting obviously stolen money with the other. How is it obvious it was stolen? Well, you just read it right there, didn't you?!

"That tricky trickster, that sneaky shyster, that lovable lowlife, the Chief Thief, Shifty!"

What a moxious montage! It ends with a 'power shot' of all three, posed against a bright golden starburst.

Blahking blinked twice, resisted the urge to sigh, and repeated his earlier question. "Impress them how?"

"Ahh," the Wonderful Couple said in unison, turning towards the others in confusion. "Guys?"

"Golly gee gullybunkers," Warvin said to canned laughter from.. er.. somewhere. "That's a tough one, isn't it, Mendy?"

Glee the Wonder Monkey suddenly barked out something that made him sound like a mix between a Scoobie doo wanna be and a talking monkey. It's hard to say what he said, although the words "Impress" and "hot rrrrrod" were in there somewhere in the span of about fifteen seconds.

"What's it saying?" Dash asked.

"I don't think it's talking," Shamus speculated. "I think it has to go outside to take a wiz or something."

Glee turned to angrily chitchat ... something.. at both Dash and Shamus.

"Oh, Glee here," someone - who cares at this point?- explained, "was talking about the recent competition between the guilds to find out who could build the best meat car, and suggested that while we're not sure if we want to fuel that rivalry, we're absolutely sure we could arrange a deal where if one of your adventurers earns the prize of 'best meat goal' for his or her guild, that person would receive a special reward! Glee also detailed how if you win, the meat car would presumably be so 'bitchin' that they'd agree to allow the full council to meet in order to reward the winner with their prize. He thinks that'd be a perfect solution."

"He said all that in fifteen seconds?" surprised Shamus asked, amused.

"Yes, of course," a surprised Jilla answered. "He also read the minutes of our last meeting, recited the highlights of his morning, suggested a brilliant recipe for Knob butter stew, and told us about the rather long and detailed pig-mail he got from his mother last night!"

"And suggested a few good plays in Seaside Town on top o' that!" Warvin added, pointing his finger in the air for no real reason. "I mean.. er.. groovy plays, not good! Groovy!"

"Of course," Blahking answered, dryly, wearily. "So we simply have to win this contest and we'll get the meeting with the King?"

The Council friends looked at each other, each unsure of the answer. After a long pause, Warvin finally answered, "Golly.. maybe."

"Maybe?" Blahking repeated, an eyebrow raised.

"Actually, I think you might want to find a second way to impress them," Jilla meekly suggested, tossing in an airy, brief laugh with it.

"How?" Dash asked, equally confused. Or annoyed or frustrated. Take your pick, really.

"Well," Jilla pondered. "I guess we'll have to leave that up to you. We could probably give you some hints, though."

"Like gosh golly gigglefeathers, I, like, bet we, like, could!" Warvin chimed in.

"Well, we'll talk to them and send you some notes on each of the leaders!" Jilla suggested.

"Now, if you'll pardon us," Zake said, putting his arm around giggling Jilla, "I'm going to go out back and make out with my twin si.. I mean, my girlfriend to whom I have no relationship at all!"

Jilla elbowed him roughly in the ribs, giggling as the two vanished into another room, ignoring the awkward stares at them.

Dash shrugged it off and asked, "Do we have to impress our own guild leader, specifically? Or, despite being classified as a disco bandit, could I try to appeal to, say, Boris?"

"That should be fine," Mendy said, as Warvin continued to stare, slack jawed, at the door the twin.. er.. the couple who bear a remarkable resemblance to each other, had vanished into.

Blahking looked a bit crestfallen not to be given more information, but soon got over it. "We shall take our leave and await further instructions, if there's nothing more."

As he said this, the janitor walked into the room. "Council friends, help," he said in a droll, non convincing voice. "I'm behind cleaning. The.. er.. evil imps of evil have messed up several rooms and I, the helpless Janitor, am now behind schedule."

"Quick, by golly gee weatherspoons, summon the Council Friends!" Warvin cried out.

"Roger!" Jilla answered, tapping her super advanced, non glowy, magi-tech wristwatch to summon the others. A couple of seconds later, Jilla (buttoning her top) and Zake (still putting his top on) rushed into the room, expecting danger.

"For the 22nd time this month, the janitor needs help!" Mendy cried out, distressed. "I'll coordinate!"

"And I'll go try to get kidnapped by the evil enemy's henchmen so you can all save me like always, golly!" Warvin said, rushing off, with the barking monkey following him. Warvin ran headfirst into the wall. The monkey was too smart to copy that action.

"Council twin powers, activate!" The Wonderful Couple yelled, touching lips. (Ya kno.. kissing.)

"Form of.. a mopadactle!" Jilla yelled, turning into a dragon (or dinosaur) looking thing, with a mop for a tail.

"Shape of.. a bucket of ice water!" Zake shouted, turning into.. well.. just that. "Really really cold ice water!"

Blahking turned toward Shamus, Dash and Inu, who just collectively shrugged in response, then lead the three out of the room back into the less insane Seaside town. Jilla yelled at the two, "It's just a nickname, we're not really twins, we're a couple! Who aren't related!"

But it went ignored.

(Approximately four minutes later, a masked Fluffy Hamster swept in through a hidden passage, responding to his communicator alert and asked, "Am I late?")

Special thanks to feena for co-writing the Elite 7 opening with me Notes here (coming soon)

 
(Official mission notes)