We're only treated to a short Raw Hide story for this mission, but it works. Like a lot of his work, it draws heavy inspiration from the KOL game.

Not that there's anything wrong with that if you do it well.

I have never seen so many women who are that ugly. Well except this one time when I was visiting the ... Never mind that.

I was chilling by the clan hall when I saw a bunch of ladies turning around the corner. I thought, "Hey, I might have a chance." So I followed them. In those long skirts I couldn't tell how ugly they were. Those 5 had the big sun hats on that covered their faces. I followed them almost the whole way to the right-side of the tracks. Then I saw one of them drop a piece of paper.

So I picked it up to find out who they were. As I was picking it up I saw them turn around the corner. They were ugly. They looked like goblins they were so ugly. I mean if you vomit on roadkill, it would look better. Well, I was still curious as to who would be so ugly so I read the note. The writing wasn't very neat either. On it was scrawled, "By means of stealth, you must obtain the gourd. The loss of their beloved gourd will surely demoralize the citizens to tears and then we will hold it ransom for any victims lost in today's attack. You must recover the gourd at all costs."

I gotta be honest, I was a little bummed that those ladies weren't ladies. It's been a while.

I started for the tower. As I turned the corner, the goblins had split up. I guess the wanted to know the layout before they struck. Lucky for me, I had been checking them out the whole way here. I quickly found them all in the crowd. None of them were anywhere near the tower yet. I made my way up. I had talked to this guy once before. I remembered he was jittery so I had to tread lightly.

As soon as I got there, "Tin cans are...eep..gonna get.. erp...the gourd."

"Shut up. There are goblins coming for the gourd. You will need to protect it from more than cans for a change."

The idiot says to me, "but the goblins don't want my gourd, the cans do. I don't care about goblins."

At this point I had a clever idea. "Who do you think animated the cans. The goblins send the cand from their kitchens to take the gourd. Their king loves to eat gourds. He will steal it and chop it up into soup."

"EEP! Never. I will stop them...erp...with my life." I figured he was as ready as we could hope for. So I came down and locked my sight on the biggest of the goblins. He was wearing a red sun dress with white lace on the sleeves. He ducked back into an alley so I followed him. Turns out, stealth isn't my strong suit. He pulls two huge swords out of his dress and stares me down. I turned to survey my surroundings as I drew my own sword. That was about the time I realized the other four were standing at the end of the alley.

I love my job.