We get heavily into the comedic aspect of AIL for this one.. which I was written out of since I wasn't there to attend the session.

Catrina snags a new alt, while a whole new player is introduced into AiL, at least for future Live RP's, hopefully. This continues with a lot of in party bickering and fighting, which only adds to the story's value and serves to set it apart from earlier Live RP's. Along with that, there's more than a fair share of twists, surprises, and oddities in this one. It's the third of three parts running and pretty much finishes the South of the Border trip. And even though I didn't get to attend this one, I did do the "clipping" of the session to turn the chatter during roleplaying into an actual Live RP.

 
(Alright. I missed this one and got written out in an especially odd way, which I'm totally taking advantage of in a RP. Even so, I promised I'd cut, edit and post it! Two debuts here, one of which might render part of Aleena's story discontinuity.. but we're not going to worry about that right now. I'm treating it as the third part to the "South of the Border" trip series of Live RP's...)

GM Reminder: (That's the world we're in.)

<The team is in the middle of a room, sans Fahari.>

<Suddenly, Dash and Becky fall into a plot hole and are removed from the story.>

(I think plot holes are a Kingdom of Loathing: the game item.)

Todd: "Whooa! Didn't see that there..."

<The room is massive, has a bit of stone furniture and has been completely cleared of traps.>

<You feel you need to take time to rest.>

(Conversation is recommended at this point.)

<Suddenly, a piece of the ceiling opens. A figure falls out and lands hard on the ground. It's Fahari.>

(Armus settles down in a stone chair, gazing around the room, very happy to have been done with those undead creatures.)

Konall: "So, are you a friend or a target?"

Armus: "Or a friendly target?"

<The figure rises- quite readily for someone who just fell through the ceiling- She (the only way you know it's a 'she' is that the robes she wears follow some interesting curves) wears a long hooded robe, the hood pulled up over her head at the moment- She sneezes a bit- then looks around- you catch a glimpse of two golden eyes taking it all in.>

Konall: "So, friend or foe?"

Konall: <under his breath> "Please say foe."

<Aleena chuckles softly.>

<The voice sounds peculiar- but familiar at the same time- a certain rolling, purring sound- Todd looks on- nodding as if he has an idea.>

???: "That would depend on you as much as myself, large one."

<Fumblies stands still as he lets his eyes survey the room slowly looking to what was there. As the cat furry monk drops from the ceiling his eyes come to a stop. As the figure stands he almost instantly sees that the figure is a woman and smirks as he sees the pair of golden eyes. He waits for the figure to make a move before reacting.>

Konall: "So, what brings you here?"

Konall: "Are you a guardian of this dungeon? If so I'll have to kill you. Nothing personal."

<With that she brings her hands up, and pulls back her hood, revealing a Feline with black fur almost too dark to be seen in this gloom- and those piercing gold eyes.. >

Fahari: "I am Fahari."

Konall: "You'd make a good fur coat, I mean your hide is, um. Good fur you've got there."

Kadlin: "It's meant as a compliment."

<Fahari glances from Konall to Kadlin- her body seeming to tense under the robes- then she relaxes.>

Fahari: "Then it will be taken as such- for now. As for being a guardian of this place, no. I am but a servant of the Goddess, sent forth on hearing of some of her pride lost in far lands."

<Spaz flies on ahead.>

Konall: "And you stopped in to search the ruins?"

<Fumblies nods a simple greeting as he lets Konall do the talking. He really didn't have much to say and in reality he felt he didn't need to talk anyway. But he kept his eyes on Fahari waiting to see how he would need to act. He listened to the conversation with interest as he thought about he current patroness.>

*The stranger shakes head* "I... I felt a certain need to come here- a connection to my task was here- although I do not feel it at present."

Konall: "Well, you can come with us if you want. It's a tricky place."

<Konall walks down to the next room.>

<Fumblies suddenly shakes his head and walks after Konall as he feels the need to move before he did something potentially hazardous to his health.>

A voice says, "You are in a circular room. It has 5 corridors. The one labeled exit goes back the way you came. The other four are labeled 'Mage’s Sanctum,' 'Armory' 'Treasury' and 'Larder.'"

Konall: "So, which one to loot first?"

<Todd rolls his eyes and mumbles> "There goes all the fun out of this trip."

<She turns to him even as they begin to walk> Fahari: "You have a problem with my kind, Vulpin?"

<Fahari eyes him- what is a Vulpin doing here?>

<Fumblies enters the room and starts towards the Mage's Sanctum.>

Fahari: "I would say the larder - but only because provisions on the ship were scant."

Konall: "We hit the larder next."

Konall: "After the mage's sanctum."

Konall: "I want to smash all that magic."

<She nods then seems to glide to the Sanctorm.>

<Konall walks toward the sanctum.>

<Fumblies suddenly stops and turns to glare at Konall as he starts to draw his sword.>

<The hallway up ahead has a 10-foot drop off. You can't see anything, it's pitch black, but you hear a hissing sound. Rushing air?>

<Okay, you can see part of the drop-off.>

Fumblies: "If you want to destroy it you have to get through me first."

<Fumblies was amused by the talk of destroying magic as he was able to use magic himself.>

Konall: "We'll deal with it when we come to it."

<Both Todd and Fahari and gazing ahead- trying to pick up anything more with their sharper senses.>

Todd (To Fahari) "Sorry about this, sister. We've got ourselves a bit of a powderkeg going on at times here."

Konall: "That guy's evil."

Kadlin: "And Konall is just kind of evil."

<Aleena rolls Perception, 1d12+14; got a 15.>

<Armus follows the group listening closely he has remained silent all this time, observing the various characters in this "happy" band.>

<The hissing isn't air.>

(Roguishness plus perception skill.)

<Okay, we'll say that one of the furries smells some sort of reptile.>

<Fumblies turns and makes his way forward as he grits his teeth so as not so say anything he would end up regretting later.>

Fumblies: "I am not evil, just employed." <Fumblies stops at the edge and takes a listen.>

<Todd wrinkles his nose> "Snakes or something."

<Fahari nods> "Given the setting I'd say 'something.' Probably 'something large.'"

Konall: "And I'm dedicated to the cultural values that my family and I have passed down from generation to generation."

(Beat.)

Konall: "They just happen to involve a lot of senseless violence and looting."

<Spaz lights up the area ahead. It's a pit 50 feet long filled with snakes.>

Fahari: "... or not."

(Snakes! Why did it have to be snakes?)

Konall: "Shoot. Gonna be a pain to kill them all."

<Armus rolls perception 1d12 +6 rougishness> 17 = [11] +6.>

<Konall picks out a couple throwing hatchets and tosses them.>

<The walls are carved stone and the ceiling is 6 feet above the ledge, 16 feet from the bottom of the pit. The door is a foot above the bottom of the pit on the other side, closed currently.>

Aleena: "Konall, that seems like a waste of time. Why not drive them out with fire? Or cross above them?"

Konall: "Might work."

<Armus steps up to the pit, and drops a smoke bomb down into it.>

<The snakes slither away from the bomb.>

<Fahari steps up to the edge, glancing down into the pit at the snakes then gathering herself- and leaping into the air!>

<Konall drops down and picks up his hatchets.>

<Armus tosses a few more smoke bombs down making a path in the direction of the door.>

<Fumblies smiles slightly as he looks down the pit seeing the snake. With a chuckle he sudden disappears by turning invisible.> (He rolls perception roll of 10 on a d12 +8 roguishness = 18)

<Groove roll to jump.>

<The snakes are crawling over themselves trying to get out of the way, but they're running out of room. A few are braving the smoke.>

(Groove 7; Fahari rolled a 5 have super jump and am using it.)

<Fahari lands once, and jumps again, making it to the door.>

<Fumblies gets across safely.>

<Armus closes his eyes envisioning himself near the door, teleport 1d12 + 4 + 2 >14 = [8] +6.>

<Konall walks across, snake fangs sinking into his armored boots occasionally. Nothing hits flesh, though.>

<Armus teleports all the way to the door.>

<Kadlin runs through, glaive striking at snakes.>

<Fumblies finds his way through to the door and becomes visible once more just as Armus teleports to his side.>

<Kadlin gets bitten once, not by a venomous snake, but she's okay.>

<Armus looks over the door carefully, 1d12 +6 rougishness> 11 = [5] +6.>

<The door is locked.>

<Todd looks down- then climbs down. He begins to play as he approaches the snakes, weaving rhythmically trying to mesmerize them – trying to charm them into staying back.>

(That works. The snakes are all mesmerized.)

<Fumblies tries the door and finds it lock then chuckles in amusement as he tries to remember the spell to unlock doors.>

<The door is also probably trapped.>

<Armus steps back as Fumblies messes with the door.>

Konall: "Need some Viking lockpicking again?"

Kadlin: "Your idiocy would probably end up killing everyone here except for, ironically, you."

<Armus smirks> "Sure, I could use some of those spines I think, might be useful."

Fumblies: "Just trying to remember the unlock spell."

(Fumblies cannot remember the unlock spell.)

Kadlin: "Actually, Konall, smash the door in."

Konall: "Can do."

<Fumblies thinks for a minute before snapping his fingers.>

Fumblies: "Aha."

<Konall smashes the door. At the same time, Kadlin's shield spell goes up for a brief second, keeping you safe from the exploding trap.>

Fumblies: "That was so not me."

Konall: "Ahh... Viking lockpicking. Subtlety is for wimps."

<Kadlin walks in the room.>

Armus: "And the living."

<Inside is a vampire (Werevamp) and an old guy in a suit.>

<Fumblies quickly follows.>

<Fahari shakes her head but follows.>

<There are three curtains against the far wall, and a door to the right.>

<And did I mention the vampire is an elf?>

Konall: "Great, I came here because I'm tired of killing undead."

Todd: "This must be the Monty Hall." <looks around> "What?"

*Fumblies looks around the room and blinks seeing the two people in the room. He slowly looks towards Konall to see what he would do.*

Kadlin: "Say, what's a vampire doing down here?"

<Armus sighs> "I’m willing to bet it isn’t playing poker."

<Fahari- boldly or otherwise- steps toward the pair.>

Aleena: "Hiding from sunlight?"

<Fumblies shakes his head slowly as he heads towards curtains.>

Man: "My name is Morty, and welcome to Deal of a Deathtime. Congratulations contestants."

<It’s a pale elf with raven black hair and a matching long black regal dress.>

<Todd looks at everyone> "Hey, it was a joke I swear!"

Morty: "Congratulations, adventurers, on reaching this location. As your prize, I'm giving you this stick, retailing for half a nugget of meat. Not what you wanted? Well don't worry, you'll have a chance to trade it in for a fantastic prize."

Morty: "Contestants, would you like to trade that stick for what's behind door number 1?"

<Armus says, "Hmmm could I see that stick first?">

<Fumblies sighs and he looks over at Todd then back at Morty as he stops.>

Fumblies: "And just what would that be?"

<Morty hands Armus the stick.>

<Armus looks over the stick carefully.>

<The stick is a yard long, made of wood, probably pine. No needles. No enchantments.>

Morty: "That's for me to know and you to find out on 'Deal of a Deathtime.'"

Aleena: "If I punched you, would I win anything?"

<Armus looks to Morty the old man waving the stick around> "Before we do any trading, I have to know one thing. Is there anything dangerous behind those ‘doors’?"

<Fumbles looks at Konall.>

Fumblies: "Hey Konall want to take the left and I do right?" <Lowers his hand to his sword hilt.>

Morty: "This isn't 'Let's Punch a Host.'"

<Todd chuckles> "Hey old timer I just think it'd be wise to let you know that I'm traveling with a few guys who aren't known for their deal making ability- all their deals are terribly one-sided, if you get my meaning??"

Konall: "Sure, but I think we can just beat this guy up."

Fumblies: "You sure he looks like an escaped undead form Seaside."

Todd: "See?"

<Armus sighs> "Now now, lets not everyone go stupidly underestimating old people deep within dungeons."

<Morty takes off down the hall, where he is promptly torn to shreds by a set of razor traps.>

<Armus blinks> "Ok, how the hell did he ever get old?"

Konall: "Luck?"

Fumblies: "Wow that looked painful. So shall we look behind the 'doors" to see what Morty had in store for us?" <Fumblies heads towards the third door.>

<Konall checks behind the first curtain and sees a supply of sleaze arrows.> (+1 sleaze damage.)

Aleena: "Unexpected. But I think we had the right idea."

(GM: That was totally not how you were supposed to do this. Thankfully, I'm usually not the railroading type.)

<Armus carefully walks towards the hallway, not entering it; he very slowly extends the stick into the hallway.>

<There's 2 undead warriors behind the third door.>

Warriors: <in unison> "We pledge allegiance to you, knight."

Aleena: "Also unexpected."

<Fumblies grins slightly.> "Finally some undead that DOESN'T want to see me dead." <Fumblies orders the undead warriors to stand by the hallway entrance.>

<Armus carefully enters the hallway, hoping to search the various remains of the old man.>

<Fahari watches all with interest while Todd goes up to the other stranger.>

(They threatened the host, he ran off and died when he hit traps. Behind door one were sleaze-tipped arrows that deal +1 sleaze damage. And behind door three were two undead soldiers who pledged allegiance to Fumblies.)

(Door 2 has not been opened.)

<Armus picks up 78 meat and shreds of fabric.>

<Fahari shrugs and approaches the unopened door- opening it carefully.>

(Meat is the currency here, Werevamp. Not silly things like, say, gold.)

Scribe’s note: And yes, I left the line in on purpose.

<Fumblies moves to open the middles door wondering what inside of it but stops as he sees Fahari move to open it.>

<There's a set of snazzy looking capes designed by Guillermo de Guillermo.>

<Fahari watches all with interest while Todd goes up to the other stranger.>

Todd: "Hey man, what're you doin here- besides getting a bad negative suntan?"

<Each of them look like they'll offer some protection from attacks from behind.>

<Armus ties the meat up into a bundle with the cloth.>

Konall: "That's Guillermo de Guillermo's work. That man is a fashion genius!"

<Konall takes the biggest cape and puts it on.>

<There's a cape for each of you.>

<Armus rejoins the others, tossing the bloody bundle down on the ground> "Fresh treasure!"

Konall: "Oh, meat, nice."

<Konall takes a handful of arrows.>

<Fumblies sees a bright maroon cape and puts it on with smile as he nods towards Fahari. He then turns to head down the tunnel with the undead warriors moving in front of him.>

<Armus heads into door 2 picking up a cloak that seems to just fit him perfect, he ties it on and walks out.>

<Fahari looks at one of the capes she then stands and unclasps her robes- pulling them off to reveal a highly developed athletic body- tall, sleek and muscular with only a swatch of red fabric wrapping around her to hide all the good parts- she then dons one of the capes- Todd is distracted from his friends making, of course. Armus can’t help but gaze at the nearly naked form as he walks out.>

<The next room is circular. You get the feeling that this is a dream, and if you turn your head quick enough, there'll be nothing behind you. Aleena grabs a forest green cloak and departs. There are 10 doors. There's also an altar in the middle that has a massive block above it that looks ready to crush anything that gets near the altar.>

<The room looks normal, though the image wavers just slightly.>

<Armus develops whiplash.>

Armus: "oww"

<Fumbles turns invisible and looks towards the alter.>

<The doors are each colored differently. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet, white, black, and brown.>

<Konall looks at Fahari and briefly thinks of mittens.>

<Everyone can see Fumblies.>

Armus tosses his stick really hard at a wall.

<Nothing happens from stick toss.>

Armus: "Stupid stick, it does nothing!"

<Fumblies blinks and then looks at doors before noticing that everyone can see him.>

Fumblies: "Does anyone else see doors??"

<Armus picks the stick back up anyway.>

Todd (To Strange lady) " SO.. um.. what's a girl like you doing with a geezer like that?"

(DM: I'm enjoying the fact that you're actually finding a use for that thing.)

Konall: "Yeah, ten of them in various colors."

(Werevamp, you just happened to be in the same room.)

Kadlin: "Same here."

<Fumbles looks around and then shakes his head slightly as he moves towards the black door to test a theory.>

Vamp: "I wasn't with him."

Armus sighs strapping the stick to his back, he spins around quickly charging at a random door behind him.

Todd: <Smiles> "Okay- so you with anybody? At the moment I mean?"

<Armus, you're going to ram a door?>

<Fumblies looks at the door then slowly reaches out to open it.>

<Vamp raises a brow.>

<Armus reaches the door and tries to open it swiftly, as if trying to out speed something.>

<Fahari tries to clear her mind, to see not what is shown to her- but what- if anything- is actually there.>

<Aleena, with her green cloak, tries to open the green door.>

<Fumblies feels a dart hit his neck. He begins to feel woozy.>

<Aleena is stabbed. Her armor takes the brunt of the damage, but she still loses 2 hit points.>

<Fumblies starts drops to one knee as he reaches up to his neck.>

<Jerethi is sprayed with acid. Most misses him, but his armor takes 2 points of damage.>

<Fumblies can feel the dart, but when he pulls it out he can't see it.>

<Armus curses pulls out his bow firing an arrow straight up towards the roof.>

<The arrow embeds itself in the roof.>

Armus: "I do not like this room!"

Vamp grabs Aleena and tastes her stab wound.

Todd: "I mean... wow.. um.. didn't know you swung that way.. sorry." <Backs away>

<Aleena cries out and punches Vamp hard!>

Aleena: "Okay, let's stop touching these."

<After a moment or two Fumblies shakes his head and then looks at door again once more trying to open it.>

Konall: "Aleena, do you need me to do some violence or are you okay?"

Armus pulls out his bow firing an arrow off at one of the doors not yet opened.

<Aleena shouts at Vamp "Don't do that again!">

<You see the arrow torn to shreds.>

<Kadlin is attempting some sort of magic.>

Armus pats his stick a few times. "Woo good thing I didn’t toss you at that door."

<Vamp pouts> "I was only checking it."

Kadlin: "Ein-damned glammer's too strong for me to counterspell."

<Fumblies hand goes right through the illusion of the door and another drug dart hits him.>

<He's going to be taking a penalty to all actions from the hallucinogens.>

<Armus closes his eyes envisioning himself on the other side of one of the doors> "Teleport?"

Aleena, to Vamp: "Don't. Just don't."

<Fahari still stands there, trying to sort reality from fiction.>

<Fumblies falls forward as his hand falls through the door and lands on his face not even feeling the second dart.>

<Armus tries to teleport 2 feet behind one of the doors, but it's solid rock there. His teleport fails.>

Armus tries this at all doors?

(Armus doesn't have that many energy points.)

(Fumblies does have an ability called "Minion takes the fall" which means he can have one of his minions take damage for him.)

Werevamp says to Aleena: "Testy."

<The next room is circular. You get the feeling that this is a dream, and if you turn your head quick enough, there'll be nothing behind you.>

<The room looks normal, though the image wavers just slightly.>

<There are 10 doors. There's also an altar in the middle that has a massive block above it that looks ready to crush anything that gets near the altar.>

<The doors are each colored differently. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet, white, black, and brown.>

Armus throws his stick at the altar.

<The stick goes completely through the altar.>

<Armus goes to fetch his stick, avoiding the block, and toss it up at the block.>

<The stick goes right through the illusory block.>

Werevamp goes to the alter.

Armus picks the stick back up and throws it at a random party member.

<The stick hits Konall in the face.>

Konall: "What was that for?"

<Armus sighs> "Making sure you were real."

Todd <Growls>: "Oh great, this whole room’s more fake than a silicone sister!"

Aleena: "Seems to be the case."

Kadlin: "Something's different about the altar, I can't place it."

Kadlin: "It's an illusion, so's half the room, but there's something else."

Vamp goes to the alter.

Armus fetches the stick and slides it into his pack, done throwing it at stuff for now.

Fahari: "Be careful- you have already seen that illusion can hide what is truly there- and may be even more dangerous in that way."

Vamp: "Then wander around trying to find what isn't an illusion."

<Vamp trips over something on the floor where the altar is.>

<Fahari shakes her head.>

Armus walks over to where vamp trips, grabbing down to feel what he can’t see.

<Naturally, she doesn't fall, but she stumbles a bit.>

<On the floor is a metal ring.>

Armus pulls at the ring.

<You all hear the sound of a trap door creaking open.>

(Or whatever you call those doors built into the floor.)

<Immediately, all the illusions fade.>

(Trap door is sufficient.)

Armus feels around below the ring.

<The room is mostly the same, the altar, doors, and block disappear and you see all the traps where the doors were.>

Armus blinks as he is feeling around like an idiot when everything is visible now.

<There is a ladder leading down. Height is 7 feet.>

<Below you can see several magical items.>

Armus grabs his stick and tosses it down.

There’s a tome that teaches a spell that summons weapons. There’s also a pair of Jordan Boots. Each boot has a pair of tiny wings that will double your jumping height. You see a piece of sheet music that would teach a spell to deal spooky damage to one’s enemies. Next to it is a charm of aggression that increases someone’s damage by 3. There’s also a charm of accuracy that gives someone +3 damage.>

(Charm of accuracy is +3 to hit chance, not damage.)

Armus: "Anyone mind if I snatch that accuracy charm?"

<Fahari drops through the trap door to the floor below- landing in a crouch- scanning the walls.>

Aleena: "Those trinkets look neat, but I have no need of jewelry."

Vamp jumps down, and shows interest in the boots.

<Finally, there's a set of magic arrows that seem to be enchanted to do damage in different elements.>

<Todd CLIMBS down and checks out the music.>

(This is a first come first serve thing.)

(Should be 7 items and 7 people.)

Armus slides down the ladder casually and snatches the accuracy charm and the arrows.

<Aleena waits around in the circular chamber.>

Armus looks at the two curiously, and shrugs dropping the arrows.

(So 1 per person unless you're up for Kadlin turning you into a random amphibian.)

(Maybe the weapon summoner then.)

<Fahari breaks her vigil just long enough to take the aggression charm.>

Armus unties his new cloak, securing the charm on one end and tying it off as a cloak clasp.

Vamp jumps back up to wait by Aleena.

<Konall grabs the arrows, Kadlin grabs the spell.>

Armus ties on his new cloak of protection and accuracy.

Konall: "Here, Aleena, you take the arrows. I can make my own."

<You feel magic swirling around you, and you are all teleported to the central chamber yet again.>

Aleena: "Thank you."

<The 3 remaining unexplored areas are the armory, larder, and the treasury.>

<Aleena gasps.> "Gack! I don't think I'll ever get used to this."

Armus blinks, looks around, and feels to make sure his stick is still intact.

<The stick is fine.>

(Make sure you write down on your sheets what treasure you picked up.)

Vamp: "What happened?"

Kadlin: "It looked like a burst of expediency magic."

<Fahari waits for the others to leave then ascends herself- although you're not sure if she used the ladder or not- maybe every fourth rung?>

Kadlin: "That sort of magic only works when it serves the plot that the high god above approves of."

(Guillerermo de Guillermo cape? +2 to defend against attacks from behind.)

(Cloak of Protection and accuracy: +3 To Hit.)

<A wan smile from Fahari> "Yes the Goddess is fond of her little jokes."

Konall: "We said we'd hit the larder next?"

(Ok how’s this Guillerermo de Guillermo cape of accuracy: +2 to defend against attacks from behind. +3 to hit.)

(Sure.)

Kadlin: "I'm fine with any of them."

Fahari: "We have found no other prey so yes."

<Konall opens the door toward the larder.>

<The hallway ahead is dimly lit by braziers every 10 yards. A fresh breeze drifts slowly through the area. The ceiling has large cracks in it, almost 6 inches across in some places. You see small dark shapes in the corners and along the ceiling. On the floor are a number of sand-white tiles and scattered maroon ones.>

Armus throws his stick at a dark shape.

<The walls are filled with thousands of small holes, barely enough to fit your finger into. A faint light comes from the end of the hall.>

<The stick hits a bat, and it falls to the ground stunned.>

<A mammal with wings, not a ball-hitting device.>

Kadlin: "I hate bats."

(Wouldn’t want a stunned ball hitting device.)

<Vamp scolds Armus> "Don't do that."

<Kadlin powers up a spell.>

Kadlin: "We're not killing bats?"

Spaz: "Aww...."

<Armus gives vamp a cold stare> "Excuse me?"

Vamp points to the stunned bat, then lifts it up and pets it.

Armus walks over to his stick picking it back up.

<The bat sqeaks an ultrasonic "Thank you.">

<Vamp steps on a maroon block. A poison dart hits her in the thigh. Under my rules, undead are immune to normal poisons, so it has no effect.>

<Armus recovers the stick without stepping on the wrong tile.>

Armus pulls out his hunting knife carving a few small Elven runes into the side, which essentially say "This belongs to Armus."

<Though bats are starting to swarm around him, fangs ready to sup blood.>

Fahari: "I seem to have lost my walking staff.. so will have to do this the hard way." <Steps forward, onto a white stone.>

Armus sighs and tosses a smoke bomb down at his feet.

<The bats fly away from Armus, but he's coughing.>

<Vamp glares at Armus and the bats> "No fighting!"

Konall: "So how do you plan to get us through this?"

Armus sighs stepping out of the smoke. "Well maybe miss undead over there could ask the bats the way."

(She can.)

Armus stows his carved stick into his pack.

<Fahari wonders what happened and, if nothing, can she move from stone to stone?>

(Sure. Bats swarm around her, though.)

(Before she goes very far.)

Vamp looks to the bats. "Which way?"

<Aleena worries.>

Bats: "Which way to what?"

Vamp: "To the treasure?"

Bats: "Down the hall."

Bats: "Can we eat them?"

<Fahari concentrates, moving from stone to stone in a dance, almost.>

<She can barely see through the bats.>

(So if you move quickly, you risk stepping wrong.)

(Didn't say it was a FAST dance.)

<Vamp looks at them> "Hmm, maybe later."

<The bats leave you guys alone.>

<Kadlin and Konall easily walk down the hall into the next room.>

<The rest of you follow them.>

<Armus looks to the vampire> "Just so you know, I have nothing against bats, or vampires, I just don’t like unidentified shadowy figures .... and for some reason I have this odd compulsion to throw this stick at everything."

<The room ahead is bare save for three statues in the shape of monstrous humanoids holding massive weapons. You see scattered skeletons throughout this room that look like they were smashed, cut, or obliterated.>

<The first statue speaks.>

Vamp: "I can fix that for you."

Statue: "To pass this room, you must answer our riddles or face our might."

Armus replies to the statue. "Can we do it by day, or must it be at night?"

Statue (Aluth): "Your humor will not save you here."

Armus: "Not even if I speak out of my rear?"

Vamp: "Just throw your stick at it so it can crush you already."

Aluth: "My riddle is: What book tells the tale of a fire wizard who travels the world with a group of short people to pursue herpetology?"

Armus shrugs and tosses his stick at the statue.

<The stick bounces off the 50 foot colossus.>

(Hint: it's a book you've heard of. But you'd probably describe the plot a bit differently.)

Armus shrugs. "I haven’t read any books from this realm."

(In AIL, you're allowed metagame information.)

Armus says, "It wouldn’t happen to be lord of the g-strings would it, wait no, that’s not the title ... hmmm, ohh Lord of the Rings!"

(My first thought was Lord of the Rings, but they don't study frogs there.)

Aluth: "You have guessed my riddle, adventurer. Congratulations. Now see if you can deal with my brother, Mzopt."

Statue of Mzopt: "What movie tells the tale of a holy knight, a rogue, a princess, and two loyal servants who fight against an evil wizard and a black knight?"

Armus sighs. "About 100 different movies?"

(Herpetology includes almost all lizards, amphibians, and scaly things.)

(What amphibian and scaly things were involved in Lord of the Ring?))

(Oh, shoot, no. That was the wrong answer.)

Aluth: "Wait, I was mistaken. However, you were close. I will give you a second chance."

Aleena: "You can't take back your own riddle."

Armus says "Is it the Hobbit?"

Aluth: "I beg to differ, fair maiden, for I have a very large sword."

Aluth: "That's better. Now you will face Mzopt."

Statue of Mzopt: "What movie tells the tale of a holy knight, a rogue, a princess, and two loyal servants who fight against an evil wizard and a black knight?"

Armus: "Some one else get this one!"

(Smaug, in the hobbit. Lord of the Rings has some hobbits and a dwarf. Hobbit is all hobbits and dwarves.)

((Super Mario Brothers.))

(Nope. No holy knight in that one. No black knight.)

Mzopt: "You may discuss your answers amongst each other."

<Fahari, calmly> "The Hobbit.. as to the movie...hmm."

((Mario's the holy knight and the black knight is Iggy!)

Mzopt: "You may then choose your final answer."

Armus asks, "Can we skip this question? or maybe use a shout out?"

((I so wanna say Monty Python.))

(And what religion does Mario serve.)

((Say Monty Python and the Wuest for the Holy Grail.))

((The religion of... plumbing? lolol))

Armus says, "There’s no princess in that."

Mzopt: "There's also a furry in their misfit band."

((A furry?))

(Yes!!)

((Not freaking Ewoks and the Battle for Endor?)

((LOL))

Vamp: Let’s just go find another treasure..

(WAUGHHHH!!)

Armus says: "Is it Star Wars?"

Mzopt "Is that your final answer?"

Armus: "Its mine, don’t know if it’s theirs."

((He isn't a wizard.))

Mzopt: "That answer is correct."

((This is a fun game.))

((Palpatine is an evil wizard.))

(Luke: holy/jedi knight. Leia: princess. Han: rogue. Chewie: furry.)

((Darth Vader is the black knight.))

(Yup.)

((Wouldn't call the emperor a wizard, but okay.))

Statue of Xyz’wthp’mnqzwptghssh’’rpt: "What anime tells the tale of a phlebotomist who dresses like Carmen Sandiego?"

((Why not- all he does is cackle at people and zap them.))

(He has magic powers, dresses in dark robes, and shoots lighting out of his fingertips.)

((Totally evil wizard.))

Werevamp says, "Isn't that the vampire one?"

((Phlebotomy is the act of drawing blood either for testing or transfusion.))

The Vamp says, "Or the vampire hunter one?"

(Yup, it's vampire one.)

(Which one?)

Werevamp says, "That’s all I got."

((I don't watch Anime, but I'd go with Hellsing maybe."

(Vampire hunter D.)

((Thinking vampire hunter d.))

Armus says, "Is it Hellsing?"

Statue of Xyz’wthp’mnqzwptghssh’’rpt: "It is Helsing."

((I am officially the biggest geek here.))

Statue of Xyz’wthp’mnqzwptghssh’’rpt: "You have completed the challenges. Congratulations."

<The door opens to the next room.>

((I’ve seen Hellsing, and Blood+ but there’s no Carmen Sandiego in blood plus, nor is there one in vampire hunter d.))

DM links I and II

Armus shrugs "thanks."

Armus walks into the room.

<The room has tables laid out with well-preserved food and drinks.>

Armus throws his stick at a plate.

(Booze of Brawn.
Jalapeños from Hell.
Moxious Mimosa.
Lucky Loin.
Kebabs of Charisma.
Beefed up Brisket.
Orange Juice of Ultimate Concentration.
Stubborn Sashimi.
Health Food.
Spellbinding Sangria.)

<The plate wobbles.>

Armus walks up grabbing his stick, and picking up a kebab.

<Spaz eats one of the Jalapenos from Hell.>

Spaz: "Delicious, if a bit bland."

<Spaz breathes out a cone of fire.>

Armus chomps on the kebab.

(Armus gets +1 to roguishness, a permanent boost.)

<Todd goes for the Mimosa- while Fahari 'wimps out' on juice.>

<Armus feels more charismatic, and full.>

<Todd gets +1 to groove.>

Armus whips his hair around.

<Todd is full.>

Konall: "You're male, Armus. Remember that."

Armus snerks. "Sorry?"

<Fahari gets +1 to focus and also feels full.>

(The Jalapenos are still available for eating.)

Armus takes a small bite from a jalapeno!

(He can only barely nibble. He feels like he's going to burst. He feels fire on his tongue.)

(Oh, and the cocktails make you full, not drunk.)

Armus curses quite loudly dropping the jalapeno on the floor.

(So you can't drink an item and eat an item you munchkin powergamers.)

(The Jalapenos are relatively safe, he's just full.)

(Aleena? Werevamp?)

(What is still available?)

Booze of Brawn.
Jalapeños from Hell.
Lucky Loin.
Beefed up Brisket.
Stubborn Sashimi
Health Food. Spellbinding Sangria.

(Spellbinding Sangria will do.)

<Aleena munches on the Spellbinding Sangria.>

<Aleena gets +1 to focus.>

<Aleena has some difficulty munching on the liquid, but she eventually accomplishes it.>

Konall eats the stubborn sahimi for the willpower.

Kaldin eats the lucky loin for the luck.

(Okay, jalapenos from hell, booze of brawn, health food.)

((What did I miss, I see Aleena ate blood, why?))

(You need to pick a food of one of the 3 I listed. Jalapenos from hell, booze of brawn, health food.)

<Jerethi pops in, in time for a snack.>

(Can't I just snack on Aleena? ;P )

((Lol, no.))

(With her permission, sure.)

((Not unless there is a ridiculously good reason.))

(You're very tasty?)

(And you took the vampire oriented food ;P)

Vamp will taste the jalapenos.

<Vamp gets 5 points in a breathing fire skill.>

DM: All right. That's going to be it for the night.

DM: I had fun.

(And thus did part III end! Not with a bang but with a munch and a nomnomnom!)

Due in part to the low time for roleplaying allowed, out of the various players involved in the Live RP Trilogy, only Dash, Becky and Fumblies appear again during the remaining mission roleplays.

Dash and Becky were written out of the first part, but show up for the next roleplay.. along with the Whiteclaw family and a couple new names to AIL.