Logo art by Carl Tsui; modified by Joshua A. Dexter

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A Bard's Tail (Todd, Dash and Lapine)
Mission:  Royal Scavenger Hunt- Princesses in danger!
subtitle: Todd performs First Aid- would I lie?

By Todd Blackpaws
Original Co-write

After the darker moments in the last piece- at least, with Dios controlling Aleena's mind- we're back to another lightheated piece.

Todd is a blast in this one, and pulls off one of his better parts. Enjoy the last piece in the mission before the Finale starts!


 
Sebastian Dash's business with Konall finished, Dash stepped out of the casino, ready to get to business when he saw an oddly familiar scene playing itself out.

Todd Blackpaws was kissing one of the barmaids- trying to taste what she had for lunch by the looks of it.

Dash smirked, almost evilly. "Hey, Todd, is your girl with you?"

Todd seemed not to hear- odd with those ears of his- and kept on with the barmaid, his paw caressing her rump- and she wasn’t pulling away either.

"I'm glad you're over that nasty contagious cough then," Dash said, enjoying the teasing.

The foxbard pulled away slightly- though his eyes never left the barmaid’s... eyes. “Piss off, Dash. I’m busy here.”

Todd then turned his full attention to the barmaid. “Don’t listen to him, doll. What do you say- you, me, a bottle of something bubbly and I teach you why vixens have a word in the dictionary based on a sound they make?”

The barmaid smiled and caressed Todd’s cheek and was about to say something when Todd heard a familiar throat clearing. Not Dash's, either. Todd's tail frizzed and he stiffened- well, not completely stiffened some parts... never mind. Anyway he looked at the barmaid apologetically and spoke up. “There... that’ll take care of that dust speck in your eye miss! Now.. I’ve got to see what my good friend Dash wants.”

He then turned and walked away from the barmaid who giggled and said only one word. “Tool.”

Lapine stood by Dash's side, arms folded, as she glared disapprovingly at Todd. "She must have had a lot of dust in her throat.."

Todd blushed, but this was his story and he was sticking to it. “Yeah, I.. we had to get close so I could see the speck and our.. um... noses bumped- yeah. That’s it, bumped.”

"Whatever, Todd.."

“Aw, hon, don’t be like that...” Todd came up to her, wrapping his arms around her and playing with her bunny buns in a way he knew she liked. “She had a speck of dust in her eye and it hurt. Now I’ve got a whole sexybun in mine and nothing hurts.” He smiled. “Well.. almost nothing.”

"Knock it off, I'm still mad.." She gave Todd a light push.

Todd chuckled, the push not being enough to break his hug, let alone hurt him. “I know... and you look so sexy when you are.”

She couldn't help but giggle. "Okay, I'll let it slide just this once since we're helping Dash out.."

Todd chuckled. “I could tell him to piss off a few...”

"Aleena's been taken," Dash finally said, hoping to get the conversation back on track. "I'm taking Lapine, Konall, and .. a new ally. But we could really use another talented sneak."

Todd still held Lapine, still gazing in her eyes. “Last time I sneaked around trying to save someone I landed in jail. Keep talkin’.”

"About that," Dash said gravely. "We'd taken the princesses and made camp.. when the demon, the Jester King of Beasts, and a few of the Feline Empire minions teleported in to ambush us, and an accountant we'd met. When I woke up, Aleena and the royalty had been.. taken. Teleported away."

"That's horrible," Lapine said.

“I’ll say- who meets an Accountant on the road?” Todd smirked.

"After that ninja village, it's almost normal," Dash answered with a shrug.

Lapine scowled. “Todd, this is serious! Can the quippy bard routine!”

Todd nodded. “Yeah honey, okay.” He looked at Dash. “You say the Feline Empire was in on it? I mean.. I know Cat’s changed recently, but I’d never expect kidnapping out of that pussy.”

Lapine smacked him on the shoulder. “Don’t swear in public like that!”

Todd grinned. “What? She’s a cat! I can say that about her if she’s a cat!”

"We need to meet up with our allies in about twenty minutes," Dash said. "We're going to attempt to work our way through the mines throughout the area around the Feline Empire, so we can hopefully make our way to the princesses.. and Aleena. Then the real fight starts."

Todd suggested to Lapine that twenty minutes would be time enough for a ‘quickie’ but was rebuffed. It seemed the bunny beauty was fully in to the rescue mode.

She was right. They'd need any allies they could get for this. But ahh, the life of a lonely Bard....

 


Ahh, Todd, you playful, incorrigible but lovable bard!

Next up: Time for the Mission Finale!

                     
 
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Kingdom of Loathing (KOL) is a (mostly) original online game that apparently has something to do with Asymmetric Publications, LLC, and something called a Jick, who probably copyrighted it. This is the archive for an interactive writing game based on KOL, and a specific clan within- the Kingdom of KOL. Specific characters belong to their specific owners, specifically, unless specifically stated otherwise. This game was developed by Joshua A. Dexter, with rules based in part on Mercenary and Equinox. Live Roleplay rules developed and balanced by Cameron Millar. This is a non profit game done for entertainment purposes only. If a rash develops on your imagination, desist use immediately and consult a physician, psychologist, or 1-900 psychic for further assistance. KOL forums, store, entry at Answers, KOL's entry at Archive.org, and it's entry at Wikipedia, and KOL's own wiki. - JAD
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