Zed's charms aren't such a boon for him right now as you'll see.

Also, Sebastian Dash shows up later as do the space elves. Check it out!

 
In childhood, almost every society and culture had a version of 'hide and seek' that was greatly treasured by the young and the energetic. When you're an adult however, playing 'cat-and-mouse' is definitely not as amusing - especially when you're stuck in the 'mouse' role. There had been four encounters with the 'cats' thus far, and Zed's stamina was running low as he forced himself to keep moving when he could. When the situation left him without a swift escape route, his pole-arm skill had trumped the opponents' numbers thus far. But, for the first time in his life, Zed bore witness to one of the reasons his family members had received multiple sermons about avoiding those of the darkest taint and when no recourse was available but combat, to fight with as much distance between them as possible. Each bout with the Cards of Hate gnawed at his vitality, and his lungs and limbs were on fire much too soon...

-----
Earlier that day

"I'm very much aware I'm not supposed to invoke your name unless it's in worship or in a time of desperate need, but my most buxom Calypso, why must you make life so vexing?" Zed muttered quietly as the evening wore on at the Weeing Tree Tavern. After the nocturnal visit of his patron deity, Zed had spent the past day or two rehearsing what little compliments he had learnt to speak in Common - after all, women from Ireaca most definitely heed a different blend of compliments than Cassandra from the 'Committee of Sociopaths' (Zed's nickname for the group after his introduction to them); and he still couldn't figure out whether the Amazon's brutal response was a come-on or not.

( The Amazon in question had seductively sashayed across the room to him, traced her name on his chest while asking if he likes hitting on the opposite sex, and floored him with a sucker-punch to the solar plexus. Perdai was her name, and pain she left him in... )

It almost seemed as though karma from the inestimable score of casual romps was hounding him but Zed believed that was too far-fetched and comical to be the truth. He shuddered lightly as he cleared his mind of all nay-saying in order to better conceptualize how he would approach the next female he found pleasing and what he would say to win her … he shuddered again, and found it odd...

Reflecting inwardly, Zed realized that his skin was crawling from some unwelcome presence nearby that had begun to saturate the atmosphere of the tavern. It felt like a diffuse, cloying miasma to him - something that could not zeroed in to any location in particular beyond 'nearby' and... 'approaching'???

Raising his gaze, Zed saw a black velvet robe that was adorned with glossed black hearts gliding closer before his acute vision traced the bountiful curves of its plump model. His meticulous mapping of the dark-clad woman dallied for over three minutes, before he caught her chalky white complexion and the mild trace of a vibrant red in her flowing, lustrous dark locks.

"Why hello to you too, stranger - can I call you Monsieur Chocolat Noir? I think there should be better descriptions of you out there for women to fantasize over. I've heard tales of you briefly but I'm inclined to believe that the narrators were perhaps slanted or jaded in their recollections..." purred the woman, as she stopped a fair distance away from Zed's table - striking a picturesque stance for Zed's benefit, while she also glanced over his lean, robust build.

Her rich soprano tone, exquisitely-feminine lips covered in (what else) black lipstick and striking almond eyes had Zed profoundly mesmerized and very, very much interested in pursuing the bewitching female. Even so, Zed's burning urges froze over with her chilling revelation: "I've always wanted a King for my throne, back in Haughtyland, Hey Daze..."

Abrupt turnabouts had become increasing prevalent in Zed's life outside of Ireaca; therefore, he quickly summarized that perhaps she was one of the threats he had previously felt out, and that he should subsequently identify what else had alarmed him. "... Oh, blighted toad's stew, what is truly happening with me and Lady Luck?" swore Zed, as he spotted several card-like figures scattered around the crowded room, moving to cut off any egress from the company of their exalted mistress.

Clapping her hands in glee, and utterly oblivious of his distress, the Queen of Hate responded, "Oh dahling, I make the best toad's stew in Hey Daze! We're meant for each other!"

"Please don't take this personally, but I was cautioned that the land of Hey Daze and any of its inhabitants would be anathema to me. Put frankly: at best, I’ll be drastically miserable; in the worst scenario I can envision, I’ll suffer until I pass on,” explained Zed as he tried to politely run away rather than learn from experience.

"Oh you'll get used to it. We'll have all of eternity and our love to get us through it!" chirped the Queen, still confidently preening and daydreaming what outfit she'd have Zed displayed in at their nuptials. Perhaps a kilt with a snow-white pattern or a seashell-colored cape and gown, with a few black hearts to match her royal dress...

Confirming his mastery of placing a foot in his mouth, Zed remarked, "Never before have I been more horrified of marriage."

Flabbergasted by Zed's brazen statement, the Queen of Hate almost uttered her copyrighted ultimatum - to whet the executioner's blade with his lifeblood (I like *not* being sued ) - but she harrumphed instead, and decided that perhaps a few training sessions would fix his ungentlemanly side. "Capture him and bring him to me, my Cards!" trumpeted the Queen as she strode out of the Weeping Tree. After descending to the level of traversing some third-grade dwelling to consort with Zed, he had the gall to turn her down!!! Ooooohhh... he'd cut a fine swath as the King of Hate, with the depth of animosity they would bring out of each other ...

Meanwhile, Zed was rapidly surrounded and grabbed from all sides. He easily flung off the cards' grips and beelined towards the weapon stand at the door, collecting his weapon while he sped off through a momentarily opening in the blockade of playing cards. A brief flash of disquiet shook Zed's train of thought as he started to flee through the city: if the playing cards were as light as they appeared, why were his muscles still aching from the simple exertion?

-----
And back to where the tale began/ presently

Dizzy spells, a faltering will, and fatigue had hounded Zed as much as the Cards of Hate throughout the town. He reckoned that there were only so many cards spread about, as those he tore into and crippled were seen staggering about in the occasional tussles when they managed to corner him. But that hardly mattered as he was running more slowly, and being obliged to fight more frequently. <Damn it - why didn't I tag along with some group to assist with securing Father Crimbo, or... I can't even remember what the options were, I'm too tired.> Zed wheezed wearily to himself. He staggered to a halt, as the clearing he'd come across was suddenly blocked off on all sides by card-like figures. Just his luck - he had run in a winding pattern, and forgotten the directions he'd run into the cards before. Admitting defeat, Zed laid down his weapon and knelt, placing his hands behind his head. At least he could try to make them carry him, rather than move on his own any further...

"No need to fear: the space elves and Dash have arrived to promote peace, understanding, and hear the lamentations of our enemies!" Glyn beamed, as the group arrived on foot (Glyn), wings (Tarvel & Raven), and horseback (Jen and Sebastian Dash).

"Hi, Dash, elves: I'm exhausted, would you mind saving me?" Zed croaked, sluggishly trying to muster enough spirit for his own self-defense.

"Can you handle this, Jen?" Dash asked. "I need to get to finding Father Crimbo; I don't have time for another side quest."

"Away from a fight?" asked Tarvel with a smirk. "Dash, the action's here."

"But the job's to protect Father Crimbo," Dash said. "And we've only just found out he was last seen heading to the new faction's outpost."

"A convenient excuse from a mighty warrior," said Tarvel.

Dash sighed. "Do you actually need my help against these second-rate poker cards?"

"Excuse me?!" The Queen of Hate asked, clearly offended. "You dare speak of my forces in such a manner?!"

"Do you mind?!" Dash scolded her. "We're having a conversation here. That's very rude of you."

"Oh, I'm quite sorry," the Queen said before catching herself. "What am I saying?! Kill them, my Cards of Hate!"

"Now look what you did," Dash said with a glare to Tarvel. He took out a couple of the approaching enemies with his trademark broadsword which he dubbed Bad Beats.

"As if anything else would have happened," said Tarvel as her blaster charged and targeted the rushing wave of minions. "Run along to your precious Crimbo, we'll keep the scary cards off your back."

"We will handle them and catch up later, Sebastian," Jan said.

"Word of warning, Dash: I've met your shadow with the swift sword recently, who had a fire caller assisting him." slurred Zed with great difficulty, his feebleness affecting his Common syntax. Four gruelling hours, six chaotic skirmishes, and at last count twenty-seven opponents whose proximity had leeched away his strength - the ebony scout was profoundly relieved for support felling the small pack, even though he had singly mowed down nine Cards already.

"Yeah," Dash said as Jen dismounted to join the others. "And a baseball bat wielding punk. And a couple KOKOL traitors. Have fun, guys."

With that, Dash's horse reared up, giving Dash that heroic pose before the horse took off into the distance at a full speed.

Glyn quickly suited up and augmented Tarvel's salvos, relishing the opportunity for chained shots and speed archery. The two blazed through the more remote targets, while Jen and Raven took to the Cards attempting to carry away the weakened Ireacan.

"We cannot allow this attack upon the sovereign territory of this Kingdom to continue. Desist and submit yourself to the guards!" Jen commanded the forces of the Queen of Hate. She didn't expect them to listen, but she felt it important to offer the option of surrender.

Tarvel had no way of knowing it, but she was mentally playing Solitaire with the onrushing aliens, following each downed red card with black and working on increasing the number of markings that they wore. There seemed to be some pattern to their rushing that she couldn’t quite make out, but she was following it while keeping an eye on their leader, considering switching targets in case she looked as if she was about to try something or escape.

Though outwardly fuming in indignation at the space elves' attack, The Queen of Hate was actually pleased that suddenly there were so many more people to play with. It had been a while since she had coordinated such large numbers of Cards, and she was readjusting to directing her troops for more complicated tasks. "Humph, submit to those smelly simpletons that pass for city guards? Puh-leaze!! Zed, if you just would tell your friends to quit breaking my toys..." The Queen paused mid-sentence, as she realized Zed had been honest about reacting poorly to prolonged contact with her Hey Daze minions.

"... Poo, he looks so worn out... Fine, I'll let you take care of him; but first - 52 Card Pickup!!" the Queen exclaimed, disappearing among the new throng of foes summoned.

Glyn and Zed sighed in concert - their different personalities, appearances, and lifestyles momentarily shuffled to the side - and shook their heads: "Really? That old childhood antic?" Their bonding moment passed as briefly as it had begun, one gent slumping against his rescuer's shoulders while the other continued to launch arrow after energy arrow at the new wave of Cards.

Jen kept the cards from entering into melee with Tarvel, Glyn and Zed, preventing them from spoiling the elves' shots and protecting the fallen man. Raven soared overhead, sniping cards that jockeyed for position. The cards were shockingly easy to defeat, and Jen hoped Glyn could determine why. <Are they constructs of some sort?>

<That is my conclusion as well, Jen - they don't differ much in appearance, and I'm getting a singular construction makeup for all current opponents. I hypothesize that they are easily brought about by their vacated leader, though I am uncertain how she accomplishes this so far,> Glyn concluded via the private broadcast, while jointly continuing his assault.

Jen and her elves swiftly dispatched the remaining cards, who had a sudden plunge in their combat skills and tactics. <Raven, with your eyes in the sky! Where is the woman?>

<I really wish I could explain what happened, Jen. She seemed to blend into the Face Cards at the back, and then I lost track of her figure entirely,> Raven responded, taken aback by the mysterious, magic-assisted evasion.

<Very well,> sighed Jen over the radio. She looked at Zed laying on the ground. <Bring him.>

The space elves returned to their ship with the strange man. Aleena had an unusual, casual sexual encounter with him, so Jen was determined to get answers for that and other questions.

Zed awoke abruptly as he was positioned into a cushioned chair in the spaceship. His eyes felt very heavy and his voice was a pale shadow of itself. "Glad for the help back there, 'space elves'. …. Argh, I can't think of a better way of putting this, but could we talk discretely for a moment, black-haired ma'am?"

"My name is Jen. You will answer my questions," she demanded. <Glyn, use what medical knowledge you have to fix him up.>

<Jen, I would love to but it's not a simple task: after scanning him, it seems as though his body's trying to recuperate from a major spell of exhausation. What's odd about that is that his immune response and metabolism are sluggish for someone of his physique. The scan also is detecting faintly that he's lost - stars above, there should be a better term - some of his lifeforce; it faintly resembles our fight with the woman, 'Soulshield'. The situation isn't dire but any recovery will be protracted out of necessity; perhaps you should make him comfortable before a full inquiry?>

"You space elves are a little bossy, I think. I'm not going anywhere in my state, so I see no reason not to answer. However, is it too much to ask for a private chat?" said Zed. All he wanted to do was rest and recover his strength, and he sincerely hoped the elves would grant him sanctuary or continued assistance. Otherwise, any recent foe he might chance upon would have no difficulty finishing him off.

"You may say what you wish in front of all of us," Jen said. Her gaze took on a softer expression as she listened to Glyn's report.

Zed sighed softly as he recalled being taught that embarrassment was one of life's definitive lessons in understanding. Swallowing nervously, he summarized the nature of his patron goddess and the antagonistic relationship her followers had with Hey Daze denizens. "So, uh... usually I have a deep-seated bond with Calypso and gain some particular benefits from the bond. But, that toss-up with the lady with the black hearts and Cards sapped its vigor. And... (why, oh, why couldn't I be a celibate monk?) umm... I feel that a light measure of intimacy with you would refresh the link. The extent of contact I will disclose to you alone if you permit, Jen." stuttered Zed.

"I do not permit it. The last one of our kind you encountered. Her name is Aleena. I do not know what you did to her. Explain yourself."

"If she told you of the encounter, there should really be no need. She told me that a mage called Kwadlin had drugged her to allow -"

"I know of that," Jen interrupted. "You had some kind of lust magic in play."

"... Yeah, I did... It was something innate that I could not influence consciously, but I tried to moderate its effects on others. I attempted to caution Aleena of its effect early in our meeting; unfortunately she did not trust my word at first. I apologize if my brief encounter with Aleena upsets you but overall I relished it and I hope she did too."

"I think you took advantage of her," Jen concluded. "Tarvel, Glyn, Raven. If he moves, or casts a spell, I want you to kill him. I am going to commune with our Queen and ask her advice."

Jen focused inwardly, accessing the ship's long range communications antenna. She sought Aleena's mind in the network. She could sense millions of others in the space elf network, but she did not need to sort through them - her request had drawn her mind towards Aleena - and as though travelling through a wormhole, she emerged in a low-lit, hemispherical room. And upon the throne in the center of the room sat Aleena.

Jen knelt as she came in front of the throne. The room was circular at its base and was encircled by curved walls and columns that met in the center of the room high overhead. Light emerged from the point where the floor and walls met and behind Jen stood a grand double-door entryway, with a red carpet lining a path from the entryway to the throne. The curved walls bore depictions of star maps, planets and starships. People, places and things. Almost everything at once, and yet it was entirely decipherable. It provided a perfect overview of the Elven Dominion. "My Queen."

"What is on your mind, Jen?" Aleena inquired. "Ah, I see."

The walls flashed with images from Jen's mind as Aleena learned of Zed. "I want you to help him. I will not order this but... I feel it would be in our interests to grant his request."

"He did not take advantage of you?" asked Jen.

"I could have fled, or used my defenses, or even have killed him had I wished. A part of me wanted the experience. I hold him no ill will."

"Very well, my Queen."

And like reaching the surface of the water, Jen had suddenly returned to reality. "Stand down. The Queen asks that I help him."

"Terrific - because the red-head looked a mite too excited when I yawned." quipped Zed, who appreciated the white-haired male preventing Zed's unprovoked demise.

"Come with me to my cabin, and we'll discuss your request," Jen said.

"Yay, standing..." enthused Zed, righting himself and shuffling after Jen. "So you closed your eyes, and instantly got in contact with Aleena wherever she is now?"

Jen nodded. She gestured for Zed to enter her cabin, then closed the door once the two of them had entered. The cabin was relatively spartan by space elven standards, although the rustic theme that dominated the common area continued here. A wooden bed with a comfortable-looking mattress rested on a wooden floor, aligned against the exterior wall. The bed was flanked by two wooden dressers that remained closed; while the window over the bed gave a great view of the exterior.

Zed sat on the bed's edge and felt the need to test the firmness of the mattress - it passed. "This is the juncture that precedes an offended response ordinarily but I need you to bare your breasts and relax in a comfortable pose - sitting or lying on the bed works."

Jen tilted her head and cocked her hips. "You're very direct," she commented. "Why?"

"Have you ever sensed the right thing to do at a particular instant? I can see by your look that you have - what I have been feeling ever since you brought me onto your ship was that one particular spell from my patron fertility goddess would work wonders for my health."

"Very well," said Jen. The two proceeded to have an intimate and pleasant time together, that Jen found surprisingly enjoyable. It was her first experience with this unusual form of magic.

-----
An undisclosed period later, Zed laid back on Jen's bed and basked in the simple joy of feeling like his usual self. Smiling wryly at the dark-haired elf he asked, "If you are not too busy saving any helpless Irecans tomorrow, can I enjoy your well-proportioned bosom again? Or maybe have a reason to compliment the rest of you?"

The compliment earned a blush from Jen. "Perhaps."

"Wonderful - you will be my muse for appropriate compliments to women." Zed said, grinning broadly. "Hmmm, whenever I feel like talking that is..."

It was cool to get a little Aleena in there, too, although voter Ichiro considers Zed the standout of this piece for his unique attitude. An interesting if odd chapter of the story here. We’ve still got six more pieces to go! That’s three solos (or mostly solos), a co write and the two part Finale.