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[insert generic battle title here]
Mission:  Return to Hey Daze
subtitle: [with Becky, Cattaras, Fumbiles and Wolf]

Posted by Cattaras
Original cowrite

Well, here it is.

The last piece before the Finale, and it's a good one. Heck.. it's a great one! Cattaras meets up with Becky, Fumblies and company. Just in time too, as you'll see.

Just in time for a fight!


 
Warning: cursing

Sir Fumblies' little trip-up left him open to offense from Hunk in the form of a smashing attack and although he dodged it deftly, the force of a stomp generated a shock wave powerful enough to stagger Fumbles and the others. While this was going on, Dr. Darth laughed maniacally.

Hunk stood up to his full massive height and roared. A portal opened in the sky several feet above the big monster and something dropped out of it, although at that height it was hard to tell what until the screams of "OH CRAP!" hit their ears.

"Hi Catt!" Becky cheerfully proclaimed as Cattaras was quickly grabbed and thrown to the ground by the big guy- flashing ahead of the throw to land on his feet- of course.

"Hey, cutie!" Cattaras smiled. "That'll teach me to out trick a trickster, huh?"

"We can discuss your marital status later Cattaras but right now we have some guys intent on kicking our asses." Fumblies commented while looking around. He noticed that Bones was standing back with a strangely serene smirk on his lips.

"Married?" Cattaras suddenly laughed. "Oh, Todd'd blow a gasket if THAT had happened too!"

"Plus!" Becky said. "You'd be in troubles for not invitin' me to the wedding, Mister kitty cat!"

Cattaras eyerolled and looked Becky in the eye. "I promise, hon. If I ever find a woman who'll put up with me beyond happy fun bed time you'll be the first to know."

"I like jumping in the bed too!" Becky said although Cattaras was pretty sure she knew exactly what he meant. Probably.

"One of these days I'm gonna take you at your word, cutie. But I'm sure there are guys lined up for that day." Cattaras purred.

"Heeeelp!" Green yelled as Hunk grabbed him and flung him into the distance. Hunk barely flinched when Red jumped off his head.

Cattaras looked up as Green headed to parts unknown. "Okay, social hour's over. Time to kick some HUGE ass!"

"Stoopid cat boy talk too much!" Hunk swung a meaty forearm at Cattaras but only succeeded in denting the ground. Cattaras ran up the arm, managing to throw a solid right at Hunk's head, then taunting him from that broad shoulder. "Bet you can't hit me!"

Hunk finally managed to dislodge Cattaras only to find himself under an icy assault from Becky Joy! Icy winds, snowballs and hail served as a distraction to Hunk- until Dr. Darth blasted Becky with searing heat. She collapsed almost instantly, thick wisps of smoke rising from her back.

The big tiger roared and flash-pounced Dr. Darth, starting to maul him with his claws. "NOBODY HURTS BECKY AND LIVES!" A massive blast of electricity brought that to an end, however, sending Cattaras flying off. Before he could recover, he found himself entangled in a large web of energy, meant to immobilize his movements.

"None," Dr. Darth stated, advancing on the entrapped Cattaras, "may touch the person of Darth and live."

"Sure that makes you a hit with the ladies, bud." Cattaras quipped as he struggled with the web- or actually writhed inside it as its energies made moving less than desirable.

"This game grows tiresome. Hunk, Dr. Darth kill them all." Bone ordered in a chillingly calm voice as if Fumblies and the rest were merely insects. "Oh and before any of them get any bright ideas I have troops of my own." All around them sections of ground cracked and heaved upwards as demonic zombies pulled themselves out of the ground. A closer look at their surroundings revealed that they were in one of the city's cemeteries. A fact confirmed by the numerous headstones on either side of the path.

Cattaras smirked as the other guy spoke up. Ideas? He now had a boatload! He concentrated, focusing his Chi and then.. disappearing! The net momentarily vanished from sight as a confused Dr. Darth watched on. Within the blink of an eye, it reformed.

Dr. Darth glared at the seemingly empty net. "You would dare try to fool a ..."

Dr. Darth attempted to turn around, alerted by his sensors of an incoming attack. He was immediately blinded by a snowball- if by 'snowball' you mean 'blinding blizzard attack!" Beyond the wall of white he could hear a voice- Becky Joy's voice- filled with righteous anger which made it sound even cuter somehow. "You stay away from my kitty.. catboy.. um.. guy!"

Cattaras had to stifle a surprised. "WHAT?" lest his ruse be ruined. He purred softly as the net began to fade for real this time, and as the last glimmer of it faded he shifted all his Chi into the counter attack, hoping to pounce the jackass from behind while he was busy with Becky. With Hunk busy dealing with Sir Fumblies and company, Dr. Darth was left to deal with Cattaras, Becky, and the returning Red and Green on his own.

Meanwhile, the dozen or so risen demon zombies had moved into position around the group surrounding them. Bones watched all of this with a sadistic glee as he knew why all of the heroes here had to die. "Fumblies I hope you don't take my betrayal too personally but I got a better offer from my new employers."

"I should have known you would do something like this, Bones," Fumblies retorted as he dodged Hunk's fist. With a stolen look around he could tell that his forces were quickly getting over matched. "Guys I hope you have a plan." This was yelled as Fumblies threw a massive fireball at Hunk.

"I'm not what you'd call the planning type!" Becky called to Fumblies, keeping up her frigid assault on Dr. Darth, whom Red and Green circled around, ready to pick their attacks.

"You know this assfart, Fumblies? Lemme guess, he used to be in that tower you used to sneak off to a while back, right?" Cattaras was doing his best to remove what face Bones had with his claws.

"Even worse, he used to work for me." Fumblies commented as he dodged Hunk's fist. Things were definitely not going as planned. Wolf was holding his own against one of the demon zombies but had a look of disgust on his now wolven face. Hunk's assault was relentless. Becky blasted him with another ice storm, but this time, it seemed like nothing could stop him.

Cattaras actually laughed at this. "Bet his last performance review sucked horse- WHOA!" He cried out, narrowly avoiding a gout of flame from Bone. "Yeah.. 'Does not work well with others,' sound familiar, pal?" he tried to move behind the mage and get him in a deathgrip. It might have worked had Darth not blasted him from behind with dark magic. Before Cattaras could get the focus he needed to pull another vanishing act, Hunk slammed a massive fist into the catboy several times, nearly cracking the Hey Daze ground with Cattaras's body.

As Cattaras's movements slowed, Becky immediately set upon freezing Hunk, throwing all of her abilities into it. Darth turned to fire on her, only to find himself assaulted by Red, Green and the Goblin brutes!

Fumblies was faring slightly better. Actually, he was doing much better against Bones, who was throwing up the undead as fast as he could, only to have them cut down by Knob Goblins or Sir Fumblies elemental magic. Bones turned, sensing the odds against him, and started to run. The Knob Goblins chased after him.

"Forget the coward!" Fumblies said in a voice that made it clear he was not to be ignored. "Our allies need our help first."

Fumblies and the Knob Goblins were met with a small army of Darthbots, Dr. G Darth's technologically enhanced undead clones. They might have done quite well- but as soon as that battle was engaged, Darth put his devious plan into action.

"Dr. Darth tires of this foolishness!"

On cue, Bones returned to the fight, riding an oversized and very dead skeletal dragon! It immediately sent Fumblies and his forces flying.

"Dr. Darth.. can bite my a-" Cattaras groaned as he was hit again. Things were looking very bad for our heroes.

Wolf sighed. "Guess it's time to start earning myself a few new bonuses." With that, he transformed into a full werewolf and jumped into action against the overwhelming odds.

 


An action packed battle and an excellent mix of characters. It's always a treat to see Hunk and Darth in action, too. Next up: The Finale starts!

 
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Kingdom of Loathing (KOL) is a (mostly) original online game that apparently has something to do with Asymmetric Publications, LLC, and something called a Jick, who probably copyrighted it. This is the archive for an interactive writing game based on KOL, and a specific clan within- the Kingdom of KOL. Specific characters belong to their specific owners, specifically, unless specifically stated otherwise. This game was developed by Joshua A. Dexter, with rules based in part on Mercenary and Equinox. Live Roleplay rules developed and balanced by Cameron Millar. This is a non profit game done for entertainment purposes only. If a rash develops on your imagination, desist use immediately and consult a physician, psychologist, or 1-900 psychic for further assistance. KOL forums, store, entry at Answers, KOL's entry at Archive.org, and it's entry at Wikipedia, and KOL's own wiki. - JAD
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