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Live by the Sword
Mission:  Villa Mission
Posted by Konall

Fixed Roleplay

Although the second roleplay in the mission, this one's by Your Funkiness (that's his KOL name), who handles Konall Bearsmasher. The first official mission in AiL's existance starts off with the Rollover he did, so it's no surprise that the roleplay he wrote helps set the mood for the action!

There's some good cameos here, most of them unnamed to let whoever chose to adventure play off it if they chose. He does name Raw Hide, and although RH has no speaking parts, the characterization for him is sharp!

Knonall's impersionation of a Knob Goblin is also kinda cool. Check out the story, as Konall enters the Villa, only to find something most interesting inside. . .


Konall forged a path through the snow, heading towards the igloo. His body helped serve as a windbreak, helping protect the adventurers behind him. The gust couldn’t cut through Konall’s yeti hide cloak, but it made the garment billow. This was Konall’s home environment. Being raised on the mountains meant he was acclimated to the cold and high altitude.

Raw Hide walked parallel to Konall. Raw Hide wasn’t wearing a shirt, and he had to be freezing cold, but the man looked like he wasn’t affected in the least. Normally Konall would respect this kind of person. Instead, he regarded the man with an intense mixture of disgust, loathing and… fear? Was Konall really afraid? He didn’t think so. Konall didn’t fear. It wasn’t in his nature. He could beat this man, if you could call him that, in a duel. Certainly. Probably. Maybe. Konall would have to get some information on this stranger. Konall now felt slightly cold and he didn’t think it had anything to do with the weather.

As the adventurers neared their destination, Konall sped up a bit and trudged inside the igloo. The rug on the floor concealed a trap door. That trap door in turn concealed a cave which was the entrance to the Villa. The berserker opened this passageway and motioned the others through. Kronall had been taking the lead since this was his territory, and he knew best how to travel through it. Now, stealth was of the essence. He'd let some of the more subtle clan members through.

Kronall would be taking a spot near the back, so he waited patiently. Though the villa was made of ice, the temperature was above freezing and completely sheltered from the wind. He took off his cloak and dropped it. Though the villa no doubt had at least one emergency exit, in case of cave-ins, Kronall was pretty confident he would be able to return along this route and retrieve his mantle.

With his cloak off, his weapons and armor were now visible. He was wearing bugbear fur, something that a knob goblin might wear. Over that he had medium armor, chain mail with some plates. He had had to wear a pair of trousers in place of his normal kilt, but that was fine. Tied to his belt were four hatchets, normally wielded as one-handed weapons, but Konall intended to use them as throwing items. Fastened diagonally on his back was a claymore. Though it was broader and shorter than your average claymore, Konall still had his doubts as to how useful it would be in the villa’s passageways. Though the place was spacious, claymores generally require a lot of room. Still, some of the grand archways provided plenty of clearance, which meant Konall would regret not having a heavy weapon.

Attached to the left side of his belt was a long scimitar, almost as much of a cutlass as it was a scimitar. Its curved blade would be more appropriate for indoors, especially when space was limited. He had a quiver strapped to his right thigh and a short bow running almost perpendicular to the claymore on his back.

The majority of the adventurers passed, and Konall moved back into the line. The group moved through the icy cavern towards the villa front door, past a pair of dead penguins, no doubt killed by Dash earlier. Konall noted that they hadn’t drawn their weapons before they died. They probably never knew what hit them. Was this kind of combat fair? Come to think of it, was combat ever fair? Konall pushed these thoughts out of his mind. He was a warrior; this was his job.

The frozen set of double doors marked the entrance into the villa. As two adventurers pulled them open, Konall drew his bow, preparing to fire. There were several goons inside. Konall fired one arrow and then a second. The force from the projectiles knocked the birds down, but didn’t kill them. Konall switched his bow for his claymore and charged into the entrance hall. Someone got the first penguin Konall had shot, so he moved onto the second, cleaving its skull with an overhead swing. Then a pain erupted in the back of his left shoulder. He had been hit by an arrow. He turned around, but the penguin that had shot him was already dead.

Now that this little skirmish was over, Konall took a second to survey the hall. It was a massive arched hall with rows of columns. But time was in short supply. Kronall called out, “You know what you’re supposed to do. Split up and move out.”

As the adventurers headed in different directions, Konall moved towards one of the doors on his left. It was bolted shut from the inside, but he simply ran his claymore through the center, shattering the bolt. He pushed the door open and looked inside. Storage closet, a large one. One of the adventurers called out from behind Konall, “You’ve got an arrow in you back.”

“I know,” the berserker replied, “and if I just rip it out now, it’s going to do a lot of damage. I’m going to wait until I have enough time to remove it carefully.”

With that, Konall turned back to the closet. Konall took a few things, but most wasn’t worth looting. Konall had almost forgotten about Spaz. The demon was sound asleep in the clubber’s pocket. Konall took the imp out, which gently woke up the familiar in the process. Spaz went from sleepy to hyper in less then a second. “Hey Konall what do you want do you like cheese I like cheese-”

“Spaz,” the berserker interrupted, “can you melt this floor?”

“Don’t know. I’ll try.”

Born in the fires of Hey Deze, Spaz was able to use fire in a way that might seem like magic to an outsider. In fact, he was using demonic abilities, which Konall accepted more easily than magic, somehow.

A few seconds later the ice cracked, but it was a long way from breaking. “I’m tapped out,” Spaz said.

It was good enough. Konall raised his claymore and slammed it straight down into the floor. The ice broke and Konall fell through. He was now in a personal dormitory or something. A penguin outside the room called out, “What was that?”

“We’re not paid to sit around all day. Let’s check it out. Be careful,” came another penguin’s reply. It sounded like there were at least ten. Konall tried to come up with a plan. If only he were a mage, or even better, a black sorcerer. Someone who used magic in conjunction with summoned demons to wreak havoc. He’d be able to get out of this easily. And then it hit him. He whispered something to Spaz, who hid in a bucket near the door.

The penguins opened the door cautiously. Konall raised his arms and called out, “I conjure forth imps and devils to strike these meager knaves. I summon Teljak and Carmussin, Lethan and Durbal, come to my aid. Spaz flew up out of the bucket, covered in flame. One of the penguins cried, “A d-d-demon!” The guards had no idea what a black sorcerer was doing in their villa, but they weren’t about to stay and find out how many other unspeakables were about to come out of the abyss.

One of them tripped and fell. His companions left him behind. Eying him carefully, Konall noticed that he was young and inexperienced. “What do you know about the Orb of the Sun? Answer me if you value your life.” Konall demanded.

“I…I don’t know. I’ve never heard of it. Please don’t kill me. Please.”

“I’ve heard of it resting in the plains. In a crevice. I know the penguins are after it. We knob goblins certainly are. Tell me what you know!”

“N-nothing. I don’t know anything.”

“Then where is the leader of this place, the Don. Maybe he’ll know something.”

The bird pointed down the hall. Konall only had to utter the word “Go” and the guard ran away, whimpering. It was time to have a visit with the management.

Konall opened the door at the end of the hall and found himself in a reception room. He shut and locked the door behind him. Then he looked through the translucent ice at the situation inside.

The view was blurry, but as far as Konall could tell, the Don was talking with a moblino. Both leaders had two bodyguards, each of his own race. He listened as well as he could, without touching his ear to the frozen door.

Spaz spoke up, “Hey Konall, you have an arrow in your back.”

“I know,” the man replied, “Shh!”

The moblino was talking, “…and as a bonus for your work, we give you this sword.” Hmm… Well spoken for a moblino. Must be high ranking. “This weapon is for your strongest warrior. It’s extremely well crafted.”

The don spoke up, “On behalf of the Godfather, I would like to thank you for your kind deeds. They will not be forgotten.”

Konall eased the door open, ever so slightly, to get a better view. The moblino bodyguards handed several briefcases full of something, undoubtedly meat, over to the penguin bodyguards. The head moblino handed the sword over personally to the Don.

Then a black portal opened up, though no one in the room had used any magic. The moblinos walked through the rift and disappeared.

Konall had an opportunity, and he took it. He quickly readied his bow and kicked the door open. An arrow flew into the first bodyguard before they had even turned their heads. Konall fired a second and then a third, until he was satisfied that the first bodyguard was no longer a threat.

The second one was charging, and Konall fired several arrows in rapid succession. The penguin, neared Konall, raised his sword overhead, and collapsed dead from arrow wounds.

The Don finally snapped out of his shock and was loading his crossbow. It would have to be wound several times before it could fire, but when it was ready it would fire a bolt that would certainly kill most warriors in one hit, especially Konall.

The berserker reached into his quiver and then panicked. He was out of ammunition. Though the Don was only taking one or two seconds to crank his weapon, it seemed like hours to Konall. And then he remembered. He had an arrow in his back.

The berserker winced as he pulled the projectile out of his back, ripping through flesh as he did so. He carefully aimed and fired. The missile flew right into the Don’s skull, an instant before he fired. The bolt flew out of the crossbow and whizzed past Konall’s head, leaving a small cut to remind him how near he had come to death. Having acquired a moment’s safety, Konall took the opportunity to check the room for spoils of victory. He took a few trinkets and some of the weapons that had been dropped, and then picked up the sword that the moblino had made such a big deal about.

Konall held the sword out at arm’s length. It was a bit like a katana. The blade was curved backwards and then forwards. It was an S-shape, both serpentine and sinister. The black metal it was made from had a sheen like crude oil floating on the rainbow; like some twisted psycho’s interpretation of a rainbow. He tested the edge with his thumb. Though he was careful to barely touch his thumb to the edge, it had made a small cut on his finger, and blood was already starting to come out of the nick. A sword that sharp wouldn’t stay that way for long, unless…

Konall whipped out his tourmaline compass. The needle wasn’t deflected towards the blade in the slightest. That meant that the weapon wasn’t enchanted in the slightest. Still, something made his hair stand on end. The thing looked dangerous, malevolent, and evil.

And then he realized that he had fallen for it. This sword was designed to look frightening to its opponents. The evil was just an illusion. And here he had been worried about it being cursed or something. He strapped it to his belt, picked up the four briefcases full of meat, and headed out the door. From the sounds of things in the villa, the mission was almost over. Konall made his way towards the exit.


 
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Kingdom of Loathing (KOL) is a (mostly) original online game that apparently has something to do with Asymmetric Publications, LLC, and something called a Jick, who probably copyrighted and trademarked the thing up the wahoozer. Wahoozer is a word I just made up. If you don't like it, bite me. And if you refuse to bite me go to . . . ANYWAY, this is the archive for an interactive writing game based on KOL, and a specific clan within- the Kingdom of KOL. Specific characters belong to their specific owners, specifically, unless specifically stated otherwise. This game was developed by Joshua A. Dexter, with rules based in part on Mercenary and Equinox. This is a non profit game done for entertainment purposes only. If a rash develops on your imagination, desist use immediately and consult a physician, psychologist, or 1-900 psychic for further assistance. KOL forums, store, entry at Answers, KOL's entry at Archive.org, and it's entry at Wikipedia, and KOL's own wiki. - JAD
In other words, I don't own KOL, or KOKOL, and KOL doesn't own KOL. Get it? Good!
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