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Oh her Goddess!
Mission:  Save That Toot!
By Catrina and Dash, with help from Vixen

Original Roleplay

Along with a little cameo by a new player, Vixen, this piece, subtitled "Dash's kitty problems get worse" for the opening fight, is one of those monsters that're hard to appropriately comment on!

Well, it's finally out. We now know who the mysterious feline was- Catrina's own brother!

With Catrina trapped away, it's up to Dash to safely rescue her.. if he can. And bear in mind, even if he can save Catrina, there's still the Toot to deal with.. soo, get ready for a long, fun, action filled read! As a bonus, the humor creeps back into this one fairly early... Gotta love it!

I believe Vixen wrote most / all of her lines for her cameo in this one.. (Just confirmed she did, by the way)


Catrina lay on the hard earth floor of her ‘cage’ the prison her mate and brother had fixed for her out of a smallish cave. She had lost track of the time, not knowing if one day or one month had passed, the hours having become one long painful torment. Her mate had been making up for lost time and between the beatings and matings Catrina was battered, bruised and worn out. She gave a soft growl as she recalled how he had even had the gall to allow Cattaras, her own brother, to…..

Catrina shook her head. No- she should not waste her anger, she should save it- to help her to free herself when the opportunity arose- if she was still able to function when the opportunity arose.

Dash watched the cave intently from concealment downwind from the others, knowing she was inside. He knew not from actually seeing her, but from having to do nothing as one of the two Felines entered the cave; shortly followed by her screams. He chafed at the inability to do anything, biding his time until opportunity presented itself.

But this time- this time was far worse! The tiger had entered the cave, and her screaming had begun as usual... but soon were replaced by loud mrowlings that Dash normally heard from back alleys! He felt his blood run cold as he realized just what the tiger was doing to her, and he raced forward to stop it! He saw the figure emerging from the cave and drew Bad Beats as he ran, cutting downward with all his might, hoping for a fatal strike.

The beast heard him approach, however, and was able to duck under his strike and deliver a blow to Dash’s midsection. He stumbled back, feeling a sharp pain. Looking down, Dash saw that his shirt had been ripped and there were four long claw marks along his belly, bleeding. That had been close!

The tiger Feline growled at him "So...come for your pet, meat?"

Dash smirked. "Pet, huh? Sounds more like your role, stranger. Do us both a favor. Save me the time and you the embarrassment, tuck your tails between your legs, and exit the cave while you still can draw a breath." He took a defensive stance, the point of Bad Beats aimed directly at the beast’s heart- if he had one.

The tiger’s tail swished angrily, as he growled and bared his fangs “Do not speak tome that way, meat!! I am Cattaras of the Whiteclaw Clan! Remember that or I will show you why others have feared me!” He took a grappler’s stance, which showed Dash that he was well trained in hand to hand combat.

Dash kept up his irritating smirk, hoping to throw him off his game. “The breath, I'm sure. Doesn't your owner feed you anything better than manure? “

The tiger gave a small roar of annoyance. “I hunt for myself...and I'm looking at lunch- I think.” He then stepped into Dash’s sword, so that its tip rested upon his breast, taking away any thrust Dash could have gotten in a strike.

Catrina heard a ruckus outside, heard one of them roaring. No. it was too soon! She had hardly healed from the last time! She shrank back, curling into a fetal ball, whimpering- her spirit broken by the thought of what he had in store for her- a repeat of what he had already done time and time again. She had spat blood after their last encounter, how much more could she endure?

Dash almost growled himself, speaking in a tone that would have made most men think twice about fighting. "This's no game, tiger. Back off. This's your last warning, furball."

The tiger purred at this. "Oh, but this is a game...to me. The aim will be to see how much pain I can cause before I have to kill you!" Dash tried to pull Bad Beats away to prepare for a kill thrust- but the tiger reacted too quickly, clawing Dash's sword arm badly, causing him to drop the sword. Dash grabbed his arm, yelping with the pain, then turned and gave the tiger a vicious side kick in the stomach, sending him staggering back a few feet.

The tiger looked at Dash, a fire in his eyes that reminded Dash of looks Catrina had given Raw Hide...but then he smiled! "Mmm...A fighter! Good- I need a workout!" He then left the entrance- circling, studying how Dash reacted...and cutting Dash off from his weapon of choice. Dash was now on the same footing as this beast, with only his wits and his body to aid him in the fight! "You should never have come here, meat! She does not belong to you- she is my master's MATE!"

"She doesn't belong to anyone." Dash kept in a defensive posture, his eyes watching the rippling musculature of the beast, looking for any clue as to his attack.

The tiger tried several feints, darting in as if attacking, then retreating, gauging Dash's reactions, growling. "She belongs with her own kind! Not commingling with the herds!"

Dash realized he was getting serious, and could attack at any moment. He need to distract him, delay his attack or break his concentration on the fight. "Don't you think that should be her decision? Would you care for your Master if he sold you into slavery under a Knob Goblin, deciding it was 'best for you?'?

The tiger laughed. "The Knob Goblins? Enslave a FELINE? When we are ready- it will be the other way around!"

An evil smirk crossed Dash's face; this information might be useful if he survived! "I'm sure your 'allies' will be glad to hear that. Enough talk. Nap time, kitty." Dash charged the Feline, but in a manner designed to draw out attacks that he could counter easily.

The Tiger charged as well- roaring, seemingly blind as a brute fighter. Suddenly he dropped, sliding into Dash and sweeping his legs out from under him. Dash rolled as he landed, coming up in a defensive crouch as the beast came up quickly and pounced him- sending both to the ground with the beast quickly straddling Dash. Dash was able to block several claw swipes to his face, although the tiger did manage to land some to his body. Then suddenly the cat grabbed one of Dash's arms as he blocked another swipe attempt, pivoting around to a new position- an arm bar, pulling the arm dangerously tight, twisting it. Dash suddenly realized that this beast was quite adept at causing pain in his opponents, and from his purrs- he enjoyed doing it. .

The tiger’s strength was great, but Dash was no slouch either. Slowly he was able to counter the arm bar, and soon was free of the Feline’s grasp, shaking his arm out, trying to get the circulation interested in flowing again.

The beast charged, and Dash charged with it, swinging his fists, connecting solidly with his opponent’s midsection even as he felt the sharp pain of the cat’s claws digging into his flesh again. Dash felt the big cat’s near rock hard gut give with each blow, but knew that it would take time to bring him down this way. Time he did not have as the tiger mauled him in return. He had already lost a lot of blood. It was only time before the cat began to do real damage with his claws- or worse, decided to change tactics to something…

Too late! With a roar the beast suddenly wrapped his arms around Dash, lifting him off his feet and crushing him against that same hard body! Dash felt the sheer power in the beast as it flexed, and Dash’s body began to scream at him in protest!

His arms pinned at his sides, his legs dangling and useless in this position, Dash resorted to the only weapon he had left, head butting the beast several times hard. He was sure that the beast was loosening it’s grip on him when suddenly he cinched up tighter, then sprang backward, twisting and falling, landing with Dash between hard, packed earth and rock hard body!

Dazed and with the wind knocked out of him, Dash was only able to put up minor resistance as the beast regained a mount upon his chest, mauling him in the face and body as his weight made breathing difficult. He looked up and saw the face of the beast, fangs bared in a grin of ultimate destruction, and thought to himself So, this is what those nOObs were so afraid of. This is the last thing they saw before they died....

"Sebastian Zebadiah Dash! Now is not the time for these thoughts!" Dash looked up through the haze of red that surrounded him, past the Tiger as it continued to maul his body, and saw a figure shimmering beyond! As he watched the figure became more substantial, a tall, shapely Feline with fur that shone like the sun, and long raven hair that had the sheen of darkest night...or something like that, if he could use words like that.

Her robes...well, they were cut not to hide her body- but to accentuate- to call attention to what they did hide. With every movement she gave interesting glimpses of thigh or cleavage or midriff- all designed to entice her audience. Her tail seemed to be permanently locked in a hiked position...and from the stories Cat had told him he knew what that meant.

She bent over him, giving him a very distracting view of her cleavage, purring. The tiger did not seem to see or hear her... hallucination? Was the loss of blood getting to him? She laughed, a pure musical tone. "He cannot see me, for his sight is shrouded by the Darkness. But you are correct- this is what those poor Sentients saw- and knowing that, you know his next move. That and your wits will win the day, good knight!"

That... Dash looked up- then reached out just in time to stop the tiger's descending jaws! he tried to hold them closed, knowing that it was more difficult for a cat to open his jaws than to close them. But the tiger was determined, and Dash was still woozy- any moment and the tiger would free himself from Dash's grip.


...and your wits... Dash needed a weapon- any weapon. He let loos the tiger's muzzle with one hand- even though it made it harder to hold the beast off and groped around for something, anything he could use. His hand came across a medium sized rock, which fit his palm as if it had been placed there for him- and maybe it had. He swung upwards, fiercely bringing the rock up against the head of the beast. Once- Twice- A third hard smash and the tiger went limp on top of him. He let go of the rock, and shoved the beast off him, panting from the exertion.

...will win the day...!

Dash stood, dropping the stone, a scowl on his face. He went over to where Bad Beats lay, picked up his sword and returned. The feline was not dead. only unconscious- but that could be remedied! He drew his sword back for a killing blow- only to have lithe limbs with incredible strength stop him! He looked- and she had returned!

She lowered his arm, the touch of her paws causing shivers to run up Dash's spine. Who was this woman? Dash did not know- although the one option he thought of worried him.

"Please, good knight. I know it does not appear so now, but once this one was one of my more devout. Until he fell in with one who has never truly known me!" For a moment her face went from loving smile to terrible snarl- showing anger that she tried so hard to hide. "I truly do not know what Fate holds for him, but I believe that, in time, he may be drawn back into the Light." She now turned to him staring deep into his eyes in a way that made Dash uncomfortable...in many ways. It was as if she was trying to read his mind- or his soul. She then brightened with a smile that almost made Dash squint. "I can see now why she made you her champion in the task ahead. You are an interesting man, Sebastian Dash. Go. Go to her. She is at the precipice- on the verge of the test that the Darkness sends to us all in time. It will be up to you to see that she returns to the Light."

Dash's head turned to the cave with a snap. Catrina must be in bad shape in there! He turned back to thank the stranger- to find she had disappeared as quickly as she had come! Well, no time to figure it out now. He headed into the cave....
***
The light at the mouth of the cave was blocked by the entering figure. Catrina could not make out who it was due to the light, she shrank even further into her fetal ball as he approached; whimpering, a plea escaping her lips- oddly in Common despite knowing what He would do to her for speaking it. “Please... Oh Goddess I’m BEGGING you! You…you’re KILLING ME!”

"Shhh, keep it down." Not him... not her brother... DASH?! Her ears playing tricks on . . . ."We don't have much time. Can you move?"

Catrina looked up...his body now blocked out the light as he knelt beside her...it WAS... "DASH!" She did move- suddenly and quickly, somehow able to uncurl and pounce him, sending him back with her atop him- and Dash suddenly realized she was NOT wearing her bikini....

"Ouch, careful!" Dash sat up, briefly cuddling her... "Your guard gave me a workout. He's sleeping it off now." Dash looked out of the cave, towards only the Goddess knew what. Dash's arm was wet, and she could smell his blood.

Catrina looked into his eyes. "You... you fought one of them...for me?" She didn't even wait for an answer- kissing him deeply- even though the pain was instant and piercing. "Ow..."

Dash seemed surprised by the kiss... but he was still tuned to the danger. "You poor thing... they really did a number on you."

She buried her face in his chest and began to cry- for the first time in their relationship Dash heard her sobbing. "They still were...I thought they were coming back for more."

Dash comforted her, giving her time to get the emotions out. "We'll have our day with them... don't worry. Right now, I just want to get you to safety. He took a lot out of me...”

She grinned, slowly rising- although she could only completely stand by leaning against the cave's wall. She tried to be her usual teasing self. "They put even more back in me..."

Well…they can’t all be gems…..

Dash snatched her up, pulling her close to him... "Let's go. You're sure you can walk?"

“If it was the only way to get out of here, I could fly.” She leaned on Dash for support- limping badly as they made for the exit to the cave.

Once outside, she looked at him and gasped. “Oh…oh GODDESS!”

Dash smiled thinly. "If you think this is bad, you should see the other guy." He pointed to the prone form of the tiger, then held Catrina back as she was obviously wanting to finish the job! "No, kitten! It wouldn't be right to kill him like this, and if you think about it you'll agree!" She seemed to settle down, so Dash went over, and dragged his form into the cave- exiting and securing the makeshift cell behind him. "There...a present for you mate. No dilly dallying now." He made light of the situation, but still the torture Dash had gone through was much more readily apparent in the light, as was a noticeable limp.

Catrina took the scent of the air as best she could with a bloodied nose. She could tell which direction would take her to a final showdown with Him- and growled at the thought of not being able to have it out, then and there. But Dash was right- their day would come!

She grinned at Dash, and, in this light, Dash could see the split lip and swollen eye. She had been through Hell! “So, cute as ever, right?”

Dash smiled affectionately. "Most beautiful catgirl this side of the Mountains."

She purred, nuzzling in closer to him as they supported each other. Then she noticed something, and angled them over to where it was. Her sword belt! She struggled, but eventually was able to pick it and the twin katana up. “Well, at least I still have these…clothing’s gone, I’m afraid though…” Dash could not decide whether the evil grin just looked that way because of her lip, or….
***
They made their way away from that hateful place quickly- all senses at the ready against approaching dangers. They both knew that, at that moment, they were easy pickings for some Gob or Penguin. Catrina even quipped lightheartedly that a squirrel could beat them up!

As they put distance between them and Catrina’s past, they fell into a discussion of what to do next. Dash kept looking at Catrina, wondering what He had done to her in the time she was captive. Gods, if what I can see looks so bad, what of the damage hidden by her FUR! “Kitten, I know this little inn just ahead, 'The Weeping Tree.' Let’s stop there and get you a room so you can rest up while I get back on my mission?"

Catrina stopped dead in her tracks, giving Dash a cold stare. "What?"

Dash held up for her, looking at her but not realizing his error. "What do you mean 'What?’?”

Catrina gave him a look that could only mean trouble, her hands on her hips, tail swishing in annoyance. "I mean- what did you just tell me we're doing? And you had better not say we're splitting up again!"

"It won't be for long," Dash answered her, hoping to placate her with a few white lies. "I'll be out and back before you're bored, then you can help me take the Toot Oriole back to Mtiger, so we can determine what we're doing."

She smirked at him "Dash? Do you happen to remember what I told you when we met the Prince?"

Dash waved her off. "You're being paranoid, kitten. Watch your back. We've got to cut through Whitey's Grove, and a bit of Orange Grove to get to the 'Typical Tavern,' as it's better known."

She gave a low growl, not liking being waved off like that. "Oh, I'll watch my back alright. And, just so you know it- Dash? Right now- you stink!"

Dash smiled thinly. "Well, I was wrestling with- who was that feline, anyway?"

The growl that came from Catrina was enough to make Dash worry if he'd said the wrong thing, but when she spoke he could tell her anger was directed at another. "That. beast you fought just so happens to be my brother! He is under the thrall of my mate, and does his dirty work for him!" Dash could see that, underneath the anger and shame about the situation, Catrina was hurt deeply by this development.

"That'd explain the name," Dash answered. "Sorry, Catrina, I didn't know."

She shook her head, wiping tears from her eyes that she refused to cry. "No way you could know, hon. And right now- I wouldn't have mewled a bit if you'd have killed him!"

Dash sighed. "Maybe I should have. I...erm...I tried sneaking past him while he was catching some sunlight and snores." Dash lied. "He doesn't make a very attentive guard, does he?"

She growled darkly- and something in the way she spoke next sent shivers down his back. "He was probably recovering his strength."

Dash didn't ask the question that was burning on his mind. "Well, now he'll have a few gallons of blood to recover, as well." Dash stepped over an obligatory bizarre contraption half-concealed under a pile of leaves. "This ex 'mate' of yours... I'm starting to understand why you want him dead so badly."

Catrina fought hard to keep her claws from expressing as she answered. "More than ever, now! He has corrupted my family and through them, hurt my friends! I just want to get this mission finished so I can take a chunk out of his ass for this!"

"Another compelling reason for you to rest up, and let me get this mission over with, Catrina." Dash picked up his pace. "We're close now. Let's get going before we get jumped by a white tiger, or a white golem, or some other absurd combination of white and a *cough* threat."

Catrina growled at him, knowing where he was heading with this. "Dash- we both need rest! Your wounds are fresher; you've lost blood and need rest. Besides...my last wounds...erm...weren't physical."

Dash started to protest, and thought better of it. "Agreed. These woods at night can be as dangerous as anything the Knob Goblins could throw at us. Okay- Catrina. You win. We'll stay."

Catrina smiled and purred. She still scented the acrid tang of a lie, but her nose was so messed up right now that she could understand it being left over from earlier. She'd just have to trust Dash at his word.

"So we're agreed, then?" She nodded, and they walked in silence, a bit more. "You know... I just realized something."

Catrina nuzzled into Dash's arm, tiring as she knew they were reaching their goal- and rest for them both. "Mmm hmm?"

"Since you were the one to figure out who took the Toot Oriole, I guess that means you'll be the lucky recipient of whatever 'reward' the King comes up with." It wasn't much comfort, but Dash smiled, anyway, wanting to put a good spin on the recent tragic events. "Maybe some small good'll come out of this, after all."

A short time later they arrived at the inn. Dash spoke to a waitress there- a lovely green furred vixen named, oddly enough, Vixen. He arranged for a room with her, and almost carried Catrina upstairs to the door.

Once she was on the bed, he looked down at her napping form, smiling at her beauty, he then whispered to her "Keep safe, kitten. “ And turned for the door. As his hand touched the knob he heard her purr "mmm...Where are you going?" She sat up in the bed, her legs under her, looking as if she was thinking of a pounce.

Dash thought quickly. "I...I saw somebody from the Clan on the way in- thought I'd go down to the tavern and get caught up on things."

"Oh?" Catrina grinned, then got up and came over to join him at the door. "Then let's go get caught up!"

Dash shook his head, smiling for her. "Not neccessary, kitten. I'm sure I won't be long. Why don't you stay here and get started on your rest? I'll be as quiet as can be when I get back."

Catrina grinned, momentarily nuzzling into Dash's arm. "It's okay hon, I'll rest when you do. Besides," Her voice took on a darker tone. "I'll be able to say 'good-bye' when you try to sneak out on me!"

His smile vanished. "So, not much sense in trying to bluff this out. How long you know?"

Catrina growled jsut a bit- in annoyance at him mostly. "I've been giving you the benefit of a doubt and a busted nose since we made this deal, hon."

Dash smirked, but dropped it quickly. "Listen, kitten...I'm sorry. But- well, you were sleeping so well. You obviously need your rest.

Catrina turned in Dash's arms, leaning against the door, making sure that he could not leave until SHE was dealt with. "So do you hon...even more than I do, seeing the blood on the ground up there! I am NOT a kitten, Dash! I can take care of myself!"

Dash tried to give her a winning smile. "I know that, kitten.. now stop behaving like a newborn."

Catrina almost bared her fangs on hearing that. "Then stop TREATING me like one!"

Dash huffed. "Stop acting like one, first.."

Cat put her hands on her hips, her tail swishin angrily. "Oh...because I want to stay with you and PROTECT you- that means I'm a kitten?"

Dash growled at her, not in a mood to take this argument too long. "Catrina, stop barking at me, please."

She did not growl, but Dash could see her hackles raise, a sure sign he'd hit the wrong nerve there! "Then stop being such a -." The next bit was in Feline apparently. a word that did not have a translation in the Common tongue. Catrina knew that, if her mother had been there, she'd be reaching for the soap by now....

Dash looked puzled. "I don't recognize THAT type of growl."

Catrina smirked. " I don't use it much. " She then decided to take a different tack, giving Dash the soulful, sad-eyed kitty look again. "Dash...please?"

Dash rolled his eyes at this. "Cat.. I'll be fine! All I have to do is steal us a bird back. How hard could it be?"

She growled back. "About as hard as it was to find out he was gone!" She heard the vixen's knock- her shouted request to 'Keep it down!' Instead she pulled open the door, confronting a shocked green vixen. "Can I ask you a question, Miss?"

Vixen stood her ground- anything to get this bitch to shut up and quit disturbing the other guests! "Ask away."

Catrina nodded- maybe Dash will listen if he hears the words from someone other than her! "Okay- what would you do if someone- injured in a fight- wanted to leave you behind and go off into danger?"

Dash chimed in. "You might want to mention you're hurt worse than I am.. "

Catrina held her growl. "MY wounds have had a bit of healing time- YOURS you got rescuing me."

Vixen sighed. She had asked for it! "I'd want to go help them - But this really isn't something that I want to get involved with."

Cat turned to Dash- ready to gloat over the vixen agreeing with her on the matter. But Dash's next words proved a cold slap in the face, and a rememberance of the pain of the past few days. "Cat, you were screaming about he was 'killing' you. I just had one fight. "

Catrina felt as if she had been hit again by her mate. She hung her head as she answered Dash. "He... I think he would have... probably... eventually.... Hegets so ... so wild eyed... when he beat me... and when..." She shrugged, unable to finish that thought. Dash stepped up to her, wrapping his arms about her, not saying anything at first. She nuzzle into him, mewling. "I...I don't want you hurt again.... Or, oh Goddess...if it had been HIM!" She buried her face in his chest, and he felt her tears start welling up again.

He stroked her hair, just holding her. Vixen rolled her eyes at the mercurial nature of Feline emotions. Wanting to kill you one moment, wanting your litter the next. "I'll just let you two do whatever you please then, breakfast is on the house in the morning."

He watched her leave, then tried, one more time, to get Cat to listen to reason. "Cat.. if I can pull this off, I'll be in the Penguin Camp, get the Toot, and be out so fast, no one has a chance to notice!"

She looked at him, and even with her tears Dash could see she wasn't buying it yet. "IF you pull it off- and what if you DON'T?"

Dash smiled back at her. "Then I want you to be at full health so you can rescue me from a Penguin Jail. I'll even let you tell me 'I told you so!'"

Dash could see the tears begin to flow. "And...and if I... can't? And if something HAPPENS and you get yourself KILLED because I wasn't there to HELP?" She was hitting him now, giving emphasis to to her words.

"Trust me Kitten, I'm not going anywhere." He smirked. "Somebody's gotta be there to catch you when you fall Okay, kitten...I tell you what. I'll wait until morning. If you feel better- REALLY better, none of this faking it stuff- you can come. Otherwise I rent this room for a week and tell that vixen to sit on you if she has to so you'll stay put!"

Catrina looked at him for a second- then laughed, breaking the mood of the argument. "What, you trying to make me want to stay here?"

She smiled, taking his hand and leading him to the one bed in the room. She laughed at his reaction to the accommodations. "It's safe to be in bed WITH me hon, after what I've been through I'm not going to be interested for...well, maybe tomorrow.?" She then winked at him- even as he obliged her, settling down in bed next to her as she cuddled up to him, purring as she drifted off to sleep.
***


 
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Kingdom of Loathing (KOL) is a (mostly) original online game that apparently has something to do with Asymmetric Publications, LLC, and something called a Jick, who probably copyrighted and trademarked the thing up the wahoozer. Wahoozer is a word I just made up. If you don't like it, bite me. And if you refuse to bite me go to . . . ANYWAY, this is the archive for an interactive writing game based on KOL, and a specific clan within- the Kingdom of KOL. Specific characters belong to their specific owners, specifically, unless specifically stated otherwise. This game was developed by Joshua A. Dexter, with rules based in part on Mercenary and Equinox. This is a non profit game done for entertainment purposes only. If a rash develops on your imagination, desist use immediately and consult a physician, psychologist, or 1-900 psychic for further assistance. KOL forums, store, entry at Answers, KOL's entry at Archive.org, and it's entry at Wikipedia, and KOL's own wiki. - JAD
In other words, I don't own KOL, or KOKOL, and KOL doesn't own KOL. Get it? Good!
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