The massive start to the Season Finale benefitted from having the three major AIL "players"- Funki, Cat and myself- working on it. Way back when I started planning out AIL, four years before the Season Finale, I'd decided I wanted to split AiL up into seasons. I had a clear goal for the first season from the beginning; deal with the Knob Goblins. After all, that represented the level five quest in Kingdom of Loathing, which inspired this game.

So we mixed things up by using the Penguin Mafia enemies earlier. They weren't tied to the higher levels, or really any levels in the game, and the rest of the lower level enemies lacked the 'spice' I wanted from enemies. Besides, the two were similar enough that I could have them basically fighting over a neutral ground from the KOL game- Degrassi Knoll. I pretty much wanted the Knob Goblins to take the spotlight as our main enemies as time went on, and they did, being the focus of a majority of our missions in some form or another. They also were granted the "Elite 7."

As spelled out in other areas, the premise to the Elite 7 was to let AiL players get involved in crafting the group. They'd work for the Knob Goblin King, but they didn't have to be Knob Goblins themselves. If they were an Elite 7 member, anyone would be free to use them, but they would basically be unkillable unless I (or Catrina, who helps me run 'em) said otherwise. Finally, it was required if they were used, they'd seem like major threats- to the point they should be capable and shown as able to defeat a player character- maybe even more than one at a time.

In the end, all seven were cast, but they fell apart as we got to this point in the story, due in part to Feena's handler quitting. She'd crafted two Elite 7 members, Amras, a half bunny half human bunny, and Nipha. Since Feena had quit in an earlier mission, the two were written out in the last couple of missions.

Catrina, of course, contributed Daisuke. The idea of the Elite 7 began with him, as a "ghost" version of him was crafted for the Finale to Enter Hey Daze mission. Daisuke, who considered himself Catrina's mate after their time together in the pits, employed Cattaras, Catrina's misguided brother, as something of a "Catservent." Catrina also crafted the Trinity, three lightning fast ratlike creatures known as the Muri-Dan.

I created the Jester King of Beasts and handpicked Black Paladin from an old list of NPC's Cameron created while waiting on AiL to start rolling years earlier. Finally, Raw Hide crafted an Elite 7 known as Grillhamo, who defeated Raw Hide in the first meeting of the two.

We got away from facing the Knob Goblins for a few missions by having the Kingdom of KOL seek out the Council's support in the war against the Knob Goblins. It stretched to a second mission when the Council had KoKOL running through loops to get approval. They finally got it during a KOKOL sponsored carnival. The end of the carnival sees them gain the support of the Council, and immediately get ambushed by the Goblin King and several Elite 7!

The war rages. The second to last mission sees the Knob Goblins trying to burn Seaside Town into the ground. It also sees Catrina hit by a long standing spell, crafted way back in the Hey Daze mission, which let Catrina's dark side take control of her soul!

That set the stage for AiL's first player controlled "evil" faction. This Finale, to spoil it a bit, buffs her army up, ties some loose ends, and sets the stage for a hopefully even more amazing season 2! It's full of battles, betrayals, humor, action, surprises and much, much more. With two months to shine, it shatters the previous roleplay record easily. Oh, and I split it up into two parts again in order to make it extra special.

Let's get going with our five part opener. Yeah.. five parts. I wanted to take care to fill out the Feline Empire, and the Season Finale Rollover seemed like a good place to use some of our major player characters.

By Dash. Minor Language abuse

 
Dash returned to his suite to find nothing of Catrina. Beyond that, his Bad Beats and travel pack missing were missing as well. Dash quickly dressed and set out about finding her. She had to still be in town. She couldn't have gotten too far so hopefully Dash would find her soon. She actually was close.

Very close.

"Heya, handsome," Catrina cried out in a voice both familiar and disturbingly different.

Raw Hide twirled a longsword, ready for trouble. Or ready to make trouble. "You want somethin', furbag?"

Catrina didn't seem to hear the insult. "Ahh, such a mouth coming from the clan pet."

"What did you call me?!" Raw demanded to know.

"What's the matter?" Catrina teased, running her claw over his bare shoulder. He looked ready to kill her, until her next words. "Tired of being at Prince Blahblah's beck and call?"

"What if I am?" He turned to leave.

She almost purred. "I'm taking the Knob Goblins over. Wanna come?"

"Yeah, right."

"I am!" she insisted with evil smile on her face. "I've recently learned of an ancient ritual challenge. All I have to do is defeat their king and take over before he wastes his army in his failed attempt to take over the Kingdom. His idiotic masses will fall into line."

Raw snarled. "I've got a position here. I'm a hero. I could even rejoin and lead PALADIN if I chose. What could you possibly have to -"

Raw found himself interrupted by the desperate voice of Sebastian Dash, now dressed in his trademark blue and red outfit. "There you are, Catrina! What the hell was that scene in the tent all about?!"

She looked past him towards Raw Hide. "Money."

Dash blinked, confused. "What?"

"Lots of it," Catrina continued, pleased to see Dash hadn't figured out who she was actually talking to. "Respect. All the power you could ask for."

Dash grabbed her arms, more confused than ever. What had gotten into her? "Catrina, you're not making any sense, but I - urgh."

Raw Hide interrupted in the most directly way he could - by slamming a large club over the back of Dash's head and neck, leaving him unconscious, all the time keeping his eyes on Catrina, who didn't react at all. "So," she asked in a business like tone, as if he'd simply brushed by Dash and apologized, rather than leaving him in a bloody mess at her feet. "Are you in?"

Raw smiled an evil smile. No way she could have faked her reaction. "Yeah. I'm in."

With that, they departed for their future.. and for the Knob Goblin King.

 
The Knob Goblin King, battered and bruised, beaten and broken, went flying into a prison cell, deposited roughly by some rather vengeful Elite Guards he'd mistreated during his time as King.

Upstairs Faline lolled in the King's throne, one leg draped over an armrest. She leisurely licked the blood from her claws as Daisuke and Cattaras watched, the expressions on their faces that of shock. They had expected a change in her, but not one so... drastic!

Their eyes soon wandered over to Raw Hide, who stopped picking his nose and grunted. "What? Something in my hair?"

Daisuke growled. "Not enough of it."

Raw Hide glared into the distance and gave an ominous chuckle. "Heh.. never heard that one before."

Daisuke took on a challenging air as he moved to confront the seal clubber. "Why are you here?" Cattaras moved to put his two pieces of meat in but was stilled by Catrina's hand.

"Keep you two 'Idiot Seven' members in line!" Raw snapped, glaring over at Daisuke. "Think of me as her protector, and call me Al!"

Catrina purred from the throne. "I believe my mate feels he is my protector. He is challenging you to see if you will here for dinner as a guest- or as the main course."

Raw stepped closer, holding his arms up. "Look, there's no need for a fight.." He then lunged at Daisuke, hands going for his throat. "Without a cheap shot, that is!"

Cattaras roared from the sidelines- although he did not enter the fray. Daisuke roared as well grabbing Raw by the wrists and raising his knee up hard into the big man's midsection before trying to twist and throw him off. "No more than I'd expect from a pitiful weak human!"

The two struggled, with Raw's more than human strength still barely being enough to hold his own against the half feline power of Daisuke. "Big talk from a little kitty cat!"

Daisuke's bared his fangs at the big human. "Then let's show you what this little kitty cat can do to your flesh, meat!" With that he hopped up, bringing his feet up into Raw's gut as he fell back. It was primarily to kick him away but also served to plant Daisuke's claws deep in Raw's most tender flesh! Raw howled in bestial, raw pain even as he produced a short knife from somewhere and swung at the furry flesh of Daisuke's legs.

Daisuke roared as he was stabbed bring his paw hard into Raw's face with claws fully bared. Catrina watched the fight with interest, but smirked as she heard her brother say to her. "Your scent has changed again."

"mmhmm" She purred. "I carry the next King of our enemy."

Cattaras chuckled. "Figured you'd find better that that smirking clown."

Meanwhile, Raw Hide dodged back, snarling, "Like me." He pulled out a couple small blades from under his leather coat and hurled them directly at Daisuke's chest and shoulder. Daisuke blocked them with his arm, then leaped for Raw, fang and claws bared!

Catrina purred and teased. "Why Raw honey! I didn't know you cared!" She then laughed.

Raw grabbed a decorative meat sheild from the wall and used it to parry Daisuke's attack. "Yeah, always *Urgh* wanted to pound royalty."

Cattaras roared but Daisuke was unable to avoid the sheild. He staggered back, shaking his head to clear it but charged in swinging quickly enough, dodging the sheild a second time and delivering a through clawing to Raw's body. The two continued to fight several minutes, with Raw using his environment and wide assortment of weapons to combat Daisuke's natural weapons. Both stood facing each other. Raw's body showed the scars and blood of hundreds of clawings from Daisuke- and Daisuke's fur was reddened and matted with blood from a myriad of wounds received from Raw.

"ENOUGH!" shouted Catrina, and both men turned to her. <Why do you stop us, bitch?> Daisuke roared in Feline but Catrina answered in Common with a growl. "You stupid men, always trying to find out who has the bigger balls! The way you are going neither of you will survive! That will be of no help to me- to our cause. Better to agree that you are both manly, virile men and prove your killing skills on our enemies!"

Raw stepped back, snarling. "Who are our enemies, anyway? Please say a few of our 'old friends.'"

Catrina purred. "Any and all who will not bow to us! I've already directed several of our new allies to make... discreet requests of certain people I feel would be useful to us."

The darkest days in KOKOL began to descend...

Several Knob Goblin patrols remained in Seaside Town, either unaware of the retreat or unwilling to go along with it. Being unorganized and mostly stupid, they'd fallen into violent anarchy as the dead continued to rise. And to rise again, once defeated. If it wasn't enough, the town had also fallen into the typical decays of a freshly abandoned town. Monsters, predators and animals had began to filter in through the sections of the walls which had collapsed during the war.

Although it was forbidden to leave the safe areas, Kadlin Bearsmasher had decided to do just that, sneaking off past the guards and walking towards the town entrance. Once kept clean and sparse of items or buildings, she found it now piled with bodies, some of which twitched with unearthly powers. Kadlin contemplated simply burning them outright as she walked along, but decided to investigate the situation more. After all, what could possibly threaten someone of her talents and power?

Normally, she'd see the section of town where the open sewers ran underground beneath the entrance. Instead, the area ran directly into a substantial drift where the ground would have been naturally most vulnerable. Charred, burnt edges ran along both the otherwise undamaged section of the sewers, and the large gouge in the ground. Kadlin wasn't sure, but she suspected that if this was the work of the dragon's direct attack, it was bad enough. If there was something in addition to the dragon capable of delivering such a harsh gash on Seaside Town, KOKOL and the Council were in deep trouble.

"If only they'd listen to me," she'd lamented to Fluffy, her companion chef in a box.

"They're fools!" Fluffy declared. "Fools to ignore your superior wisdom and power."

Kadlin's eyes glazed over a bit. Lack of sleep over the last few days were getting to her. Normally, she'd have simply told him to shut up, but...

Ever since the voice.

The strange voice which referred to her as powerful one had also said the 'new' Knob Goblins would offer her unlimited power and a chance to become a true Viking Warrior. A legend. Maybe akin to a goddess?

"What are you thinking about?" Fluffy asked. "I'm showing interest out of the concept of friendship, which doesn't totally elude me in the slightest."

"Right." Kadlin answered. Fluffy had been creeping her out lately, so she addressed him by his real name. "Why do you want to know, Xanadon?"

"Oh, no reason," Xanadon the defiler responded. Several seconds passed, then Xanadon randomly blurt out, "You would make a great Goddess!"

"He's right, you know," came a twisted, amused voice. Kadlin instantly pulled her nickel-and-dime staff, already preparing a spell. She knew the Jester King of Beast's voice when she heard it.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, no need for hostilities!" the voice called in a calmer voice. She'd never heard the Jester King of Beasts calm. It was oddly unnerving. "I'm here to make you an offer.."

"You have nothing I could possibly want, other than your butt," Kadlin answered. "And that's only for kicking purposes."

"Ohhh, I wouldn't be so sure of that!" The Jester King confidently responded. With that, an envelope dropped from above. It had Kadlin's name written.. clearly in Catrina's writing. It also had a bloody handprint on the back.. again, obviously Catrina's. She drew the letter open.. paused.. and smiled. "Alright.. then take me to your leader.. so to speak."

"Kadlin! Kadlin!" Becky Joy rushed up from behind, hugging Kadlin.. Who winched and wondered if she should kill Becky to make her evil debut memorable.. Ohh.. wait. She could use this to her advantage!

"I out findin' Wolf, but I'm not findin him," Becky said with a pout. "What ya doin?!"

"Hmm.. something cool," Kadlin replied. She knew how much Becky liked..

"Something cool?!" Becky interrupted before she could even continue the train of thought. "I wanna do cool things!"

"Do you want to be cool?! Oh, and have more power and knowledge than you could ever imagine?"

"Hmmm, I thinks about that one, gotta ask King!" Becky turned to go back to the Kingdom's stronghold, but Kadlin grabbed her arm and said, "No, wait! Going back to our former headquarters is dangerous."

Becky turned, smiling warmly with a look of unqualified trust in her eyes. "Comes how?"

"er.. how come?" Becky asked.

Kadlin decided to simply push the issue. "Well, with us turning traitors on them!"

Becky's eyes welled up with tears. Big girl tears, almost anime like. "Why'd we do that?!"

"So we can be powerful, and make our own rules," Kadlin looked in her eyes. "Like I'm going to do.. You want to follow me, don't you? We'll be almost like friends."

"I just wanna find my wolf!" Becky said, no longer crying but still confused.

"Maybe the Knob Goblins can help find him," Kadlin assured her. "After all, they did give him his powers.. They could probably make it so you're never apart."

"Kay reallies?!" Becky asked, unsure. "Maybe I just gotta go home and lay down and he'll pounce me."

Kadlin was forced to think on her feet. This might not work on anyone other than Becky but.. "You can't. We're traitors, remember?"

"Ohhh.. awww!"

"But come with me.. I'll explain everything along the way. And we can talk about our new friends. Would you like that?"

"And ice cream?!" Becky's eyes lit up. New friends always meant ice cream to her.

"Hmm.. we'll see," Kadlin answered, putting her arms around Becky as they walked towards the exit to town. Elsewhere, slightly later Inu didn't believe her ears. "What in the Clown Rock are you talking about?! How do you get six billion meat into debt?! That isn't possible, even for your reality warping stupidity!"

"Those penny machines have horrible odds," Shamus replied with a shrug, looking to examine the room he'd been drug into once his debt hit the six billion point. There were festive fireworks and alarms for it! For some reason, they drug Inu in as well!

"Penny.. PENNY MACHINES?!" Inu's jaw dropped slightly.

"Yeah," Shamus answered. "One of those ten thousand dollar penny machine slots."

"Oh." Inu then shook her head. "What?! Wait, nevermind. What I want to know is this, meaning this is what I want to know!"

"Maybe it was a trap," a familiar voice came out of nowhere. Before Shamus or Inu could react to it, a small cage dropped around them! The owner of the voice strolled into their view.

"Blake!" Inu spat.

"In the incredibly talented and sexy flesh," He coo'ed.

"And don't forget me.. MIMI!" And indeed, she danced into view, looking first excited, then totally pissed off.

"And the Feline Army has an offer you'd be foolish to refuse," Blake said, laughing darkly.

"Although to be honest," Mimi said, flicking a lit lighter. "I kinda hope you do!"

As Blake slides a large white envelope into the cage, our segment ends with the loud, long and drawn out laughter of Mimi...

Elsewhere in Seaside Town

Vixen dodged around buildings to get into position. Thankfully, when she saw Kadlin wander out of the safety zones, something compelled Vixen to discreetly follow Konall's younger sister, allowing her to see the whole transaction. No way they get out of town without explaining themselves!

A few corpses started to glow and move near the entrance. The body of a dead child suddenly animated, awkwardly pushing itself up to one knee. Its afterlife was cut short by a vicious blast of razor sharp air, cutting its head off.

Vixen leaped out in front of the gate in the most dramatic way possible, cutting off Jester King of Beasts, Kadlin Bearsmasher, and Becky Joy! Becky, not knowing any better, enthusiastically waved to Vixen.

"Hiii, cute fox! We joined a Kitty Army, and we're gonna be evil and stuff, and it's really cool!" Becky blurted out. Kadlin facepalmed. so much for bluffing their way past her.

"Yeah, I saw you joining.." Vixen kept her staff ready for attack or defense if the situation dictated either.

"So you're here to try to stop us?" Kadlin asked, ready to prove her loyalties to her new friends.

Vixen put her weapon aside, sighed, and said, "I just want to know why you decided to go with them."

"For the power!" Kadlin answered. "Have you seen what their Elite 7 can do? If I had access to the same source of force that they do... And it isn't just us; Catrina's there, too."

"No way," Vixen answered, not buying into it.

"I think she is!" Becky interjected, crossing her heart. "Wanna join?!"

"She's right," Kadlin answered. "Come as an ally or die as an enemy. Your choice."

Vixen thought it over. "Sure, why not? I'll join."

"Let's go!" Kadlin ordered. She marched right out the gate, with Becky right behind her! Vixen turned to rush to keep up as the Jester King drifted behind her, warning her ominously, "If you end up being less than sincere in your pledge, I'll be wearing your fur before you can so much as breathe a traitorous word about us!"

Vixen gulped, nodded and hurried to catch up with Kadlin, leaving Seaside Town behind...

 
Throughout the Kingdom, the zombie sightings were exponentially increasing. Dead noobs suddenly sprang to life and began fighting desperately against the yeti feasting on their bodies. Those whose bodies lie in places of great magic, like the tower in the Nearby Plains, or Clown's Rock, seemed to be coming back even faster, and stronger.. Some of them came to be called "super zombies."

The more recently deceased, the less like ordinary zombies they seemed to be. Very few if any were weak to healing magic. They moved at various speeds. Some were slow, while others were fast. But very few were as slow as 'traditional' misspelled zmobies.

One crawled over the dead, his rotting flesh immune to the heat of the coals from whatever was left of the dwindling fire. He turned his head, sniffing the air for the scent of meat. Smelling nothing, he crawled to the side of a building and dug his elongated nails into the brick, climbing up to get a better scent.

A second zombie bounded through the air, slamming into the first at high speed. She knocked him to the ground, snapping his neck like a twig. She moved on, not even stopping to feed as she tore through the undead. The undead who recognized her as one of their own didn't fight back even as they were torn to pieces.

Finally, this second zombie met her match as she disemboweled a massive troll zombie, which fell over and crushed its attacker.

For miles around Seaside Town, this scenario was playing itself out. Prince Blahking had organized rescue and assault squads to deal with it. It was rough going.

He didn't know what to think of when he got the message. The Jester King of Beasts himself had left it in Blahking's office.. and he'd been sure to phase through the walls and drop the notes while Blahking was in. Once he overcame the confusion and called for defense in case of a possible attack, this is how the note read.

Queen Catrina Whiteclaw, Feline Empire

Surprise! Miss me? Believe me Blahblah, I wouldn't be writing you unless the world was about to end- so you might want to turn the smug-o-meter down a notch or two- because the world is about to end. I'm sure you've heard about our new guests- at least through the reports of your whiny underlings who kiss your boot- and your ass- every chance they get. They are the last Remnant of the old order, the last battle of the skirmish for Seaside Town. I would handle the clean up of this particular batch of magical pollution myself, but unfortunately I am currently shackled with an army that fights like- well, like goblins! Besides, the problem seems to be spreading farther than just Seaside Town. Rumor has it that that the Degrassi Knoll area is infested now- although the scouting parties I sent in to investigate returned to me as walking undead! However, we've secured that area and wish that you avoid it for your own safety, due to the obvious dangers there. My brother Cattaras will be handling this situation himself to ensure you heed our words of warning. And he's in a very anti social mood, for some reason. As I'm sure you've heard by now, the undead spell is affecting areas as far south as the Distant Woods already. It might continue to spread. I propose, as distasteful as it is for my Feline Army, that we work together to battle them. And to discover a way to counter the magic. Be sure to tell that studly king of yours that I wrote. And tell him I still can feel what he did to me- and I'm not talking about the next King either. All my hate, Queen Catrina

 
By Dash

 
Subquest title- - DEGRASSI

 
"Reports of a political uprising have gripped Degrassi Knoll and South Degrassi!"

We cut to see a Knollish teenager strolling down the street, writing his observations in a notebook. He sat down by an oak tree to continue writing. Translated from Knob Goblin with grammar and spelling fixes.

"The Knollish have risen up in support of the Feline Army and drawn the ire of the Penguin Mafia. At least we're kept magically safe from the zombies, although I've still seen a few of those, too. But they seem driven out of the town. Don't know why. I'm just thankful, I guess. Meanwhile, I wrote months ago how I wasn't sure if the stupid Kingdom of Adventurers (is that their name? I don't pay attention during City Studies) were here to help us or just raise trouble. Well, it turns out, and all my friends are saying this, the real problem is with the Penguin Mafia! I guess they hired the human adventurers to come here to raise trouble and keep us from getting good paying jobs. Well, thanks to this "Feline Army," whose queen is supposed to be some hot Knollish babe that likes to ride meatcars, we're kicking them out and keeping out their adventurers, too! They've sent down some of their best "Elite Assistants" to help us keep control of things!

"The only problem is, the Penguin Mafia aren't going without a fight. There's been a call to rally our fine Knollish people into the finest Feline Army in the world! I don't know exactly why we're working with the Knob Goblins, but everyone's saying we used to be friends with them in the past. And some of them are really cool, even if they're not Knollish cool. But who is? HAHAHA!

"I talked to one of the Elite Guards. Her name was Mimi. Mom, she's hot for a human, but kind of moody. She was there this cute Knob Goblin dressed in tight clothes that called herself 'Princess Precious.' Then there's this Blake guy, who looks like he might be the most dangerous human there. There's this half tiger, half beast creature in charge named, Cattaras something..

"Anyway, I am gonna get together some buddies and see if we can join the Feline Army or at least form a street gang and beat up anyone that looks suspicious, just like you always wanted from me, mom!

"Love.. your son Chandler 'Expo' Sition."

 
Chandler looked up at the borders of Degrassi Knoll, and was reassured by the long line of guards standing and talking there. There were strange half human half rat creatures known as the Muri Dan, in addition to rats of all sizes and shapes, There were also Knollish guards and bodybuilders.. but mostly, there were Knob Goblin grunts.. dozens of them.. Anytime an Adventurer would get near, they'd be warned off. If they didn't listen, they were often swarmed and killed on the spot.

Most of them were smart enough to listen.

Chandler really hoped that one day soon, he'd be among their ranks...

** (MISSION NOTES) **

Purely epic.

I've established Catrina has having unified the Knob Goblins and Knollish as the foundation for the Feline Empire. Now she's got Raw Hide, Shamus XTreme, Kadlin Bearsmasher, Vixen and Becky Joy on her side. There were still a few surprises left. Even I wasn't expecting another player would be joining the Feline Empire- nor was I expecting a part of this very story to receive a slight retcon!

Let's get this tale started, first with a few Bearsmasher stories, then with a couple recent arrivals to AiL.