Jay's back - and let the record show he typed the pronoun "I" in lowercase several times. I was kind enough to fix that.

I left the typo in Catrina's name in the title - cause it's kinda cute. Beyond that, let's get to the story, which starts out with an illuminating flashback for Catrina and.. Catrina?!

(And yes.. there's cursing.)

 
Warning: (Cursing, F-bomb)
And since this is a Catrina RP you know what THAT means ... fighting words!

 
A few moments ago

Catrina felt herself being buffeted by the demons as she made her way toward the portal. Not of her own accord- no, even the darkness within her shrank before the idea of the one-way trip to Hey Deze that lay ahead like an open maw. For a moment she thought she could see it slavering- but that was only her depressed imagination.

Oh Goddess, help me! Catrina prayed for the first time in weeks, but she knew she was lost. The Goddess was probably ignoring her anyhow... probably sick at all the things she'd done- even though she'd not done anything truly evil.

That was the problem, and why she was now stuck in this one way march.

Her newly recombined thoughts swept back to a moment, before all the fuss over the machines, when she had first truly learned her peril.

========

Several days earlier...

Catrina prowled the dark, dank halls of the dungeons, knowing full well that what she had made here could not last and sure enough, soon she felt soft grass growing through the cold stone.

Damn that bitch! Must she fight me so even now?

She growled and picked a cell at random (It didn't matter which since they all led to the same place) and blinked back the glaring sunlight as it streamed into the hallway, obliterating it. For what lay beyond was an impossibility- not a dungeon cell but a wide, sunbaked savannah.

For the place she had created was far from reality and possibility and was, in fact, the subconscious mind of Catrina Whiteclaw- her enemy.

Catrina prowled the savanna, foregoing any more feral form of herself, she was so pissed with the situation at hand. It didn't matter anyway, soon enough she found the oasis and at its center, reclining next to the watering hole in little more than her usual self satisfied smile- the White Bitch herself! As she neared, the other stood and approached her, looking just like her- or to be more correct just like herself since it was Catrina who was masquerading here.

So alike.. yet so different. And that was the problem as the two stood their ground, pressed into each other so that their noses touched, growling. Catrina spoke first. "I should have killed you when I had the chance, bitch!"

The other smirked and chuckled. "You couldn't then, and you sure as hell can't now! Face it, whore - your so-called 'friends' have abandoned you!"

"Hardly," came Catrina's reply- along with a smirk that matched her rival's. "They left me in control- and you with no way to get out."

Catrina growled and pressed into her dark foe. "I'm not the one who needs to get out you twat!" She then calmed herself and smirked. "Besides.. I'm working my way back. You being here proves that."

The darker half of herself growled. "Yes. and I'm here to tell you to quit fucking around! You have no idea of what you're doing!"

Catrina crossed her arms over her chest. "Clue me in, then."

Dark Catrina looked at her and then sighed. "All right. I've been doing some checking around. Quietly, you know. The guys who did this." She waved a paw around.

"You mean The Jester," Catrina interjected with a grunt. "Nobody else in the Gobs at the time could have done it."

Dark nodded. "Yeah, well He's sure as Hey Deze tight lipped about his spells- and knowing that I was interested..."

Catrina nodded. "Would have gotten us in deeper shit. I get it. So, what did you find on the sly?"

Dark Catrina shrugged. "Not a hell of a lot. Bastard keeps his tracks covered well. But I can tell you a few things. Daisuke was the one who came to him with the idea. Although all he only wanted was to turn your heart." Dark Catrina smiled at that. "The big beast really has a soft spot for you, you know that?"

Catrina snorted and growled. "Then why'd he prove it by always trying to kill me?"

Dark shrugged. "That was the bad old days. But he's changed, I can feel it. The fight for you has mellowed him- the time with me.. well he thinks it's you... has mellowed him more. I tried to keep the beast alive but... hells he's turned into a father figure! Can you believe it?"

Catrina smirked. "Not sure I can."

Dark continued. "Cattaras too." She smirked. "He's regrown a backbone. Hell, he even tells Daisuke off now and again- when he's not down in the harem getting his pole waxed."

Catrina growled a bit. "Yeah well, I was starting to think that he'd been waxing someone else's pole there..." She shrugged. "But this has nothing to do with the spell. You say Daisuke asked for it?"

"mmhmm.." Dark nodded. "AND he and Catt gathered many of the reagents that the Jester needed for the spell. Some were exceptionally rare."

Catrina nodded. "Okay, I see. Now, what does all this have to do with me being a good little girl?"

Dark barked a laugh. "Like that'd ever happen! Even as a goody two shoes you were a Slut of renown!" Her face became solemn. "Our problem is this. Jester's a demon, and demon's are real asses where spells are concerned. They like to work it so that even when they fail- they succeed."

Catrina looked puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"Just this." Dark growled. "If you were going to turn someone to your side- what's the last thing you'd want to happen?"

"I dunno.. them not to turn back, maybe?" Catrina shrugged but Dark nodded.

"Exactly! And if we know someone's gonna 'turn back', you'd make damn sure that they wouldn't be able to do anything once they had, right?"

"Well, actually I'd..." Catrina began but Dark cut her off.

"You're not a demon. A demon'd have something triggered for failure- something to get you out of the way. And Jester knows the perfect place to send you to get you out of his hair."

Catrina gasped. "You don't mean..."

Dark nodded, her motions even more animated as she made her point. "Exactly! Back to Hey Deze! Back to the Dark Ones! Back to eternal rape- except this time we've burned our bridges behind us girlie! Even if Daisuke and Cattaras tried to rescue us, do you think they could do it alone? Or get the KOKOL to help them rescue the Queen Bitch?"

"Dash would..." Catrina started to protest, but Dark swept by it without a remark.

"But the spell is corrupt! Whatever happened when they cast it made it possible for me to get control, so now I'M part of the spell. So, let's look at how I've been doing so far in my Reign of Evil, shall we?"

Dark faced Catrina and began to tick off on her fingers. "First, I tried to make Daisuke into an even greater killing machine. Instead I get Father of the Year, a guy so wrapped up in his kid that he'd nurse him if he could grow the tits. Second, I tried to make Cattaras a fierce Feline killer like Daisuke had been. That worked part way- but then he started to mellow out too- and that was before he learned that Space Elves are even bigger sluts than we are!"

Catrina giggled at these but didn't interrupt- not that Dark would have let her. "Then there's the fact that every time I had the opportunity to launch some sort of evil WHAM! Something would happen and we'd have to band together to fight off a common enemy. From the Zombies to the Philler Gang to the Slavers to.. well you know the list."

Dark sighed. "There's just too much good in you- in me- to let me do evil even though I'm in control. I'm a failure so far. And I'm now part of the spell. Do you understand?"

Catrina stood wide eyed. "We're going to Hey Deze."

"In a hand basket. Unless I can pull off some major evil soon." Dark turned and headed off toward the horizon. "Think about that, then quit fighting me. Unless you liked demon sex."

========

Now

Jay was skipping along in his merry way, singing songs of joy and stabbing people. All throughout Hey Deze the screams of demons could be heard as Jay approached. After the first couple of minutes, he started to sing Crimbo Carols in his sing-song voice. To the demons this was a fate worse than death, as Jay's singing voice was as shrill as a 6 year old child's.

After he lost interest in the maniacal festival he made, he saw another object that piqued his interest, a portal was forming a hundred feet away from him.

As Jay knew the horrible danger of what could be coming through it, he got behind a pile of rubble, and drew a asbestos katana, and put on his demon skin armor.

=========

As the throng of demons continued their retreat Catrina fell to her knees just inside the portal. She didn't look but knew it had snapped shut, that she was now trapped here, that in due course she would be found and...

She shook her head and stood, growling. Not if I have anything to say about it! she thought- but her thoughts rang hollow in her mind, mocking her.

She took the scent of the air.. then did it again, her tail twitching with puzzlement. There were demon traces, to be sure. She had been hoping to find those so she could go anyplace but.. but there was more. Blood and.. a human scent. There was a human in Hey Deze!

She looked about, half expecting Dash to jump out to save her before squashing that thought.. no, Dash wasn't going to come. There was no way he'd ever forgive her for what she'd done. Perhaps Hey Deze was the best place for...

Oh, shut the fuck UP will ya? came the thoughts she now identified as her dark self. Shit, if I'm gonna have to put up with your whining for all of eternity this place really IS gonna be hell!

For some reason Catrina chuckled at those words. Well. let's go see who it is then. May he can help us?

She set off, following her nose.

==================

Jay realized that someone exited the portal and thought out loud about it.

"Lou is it me, or was the a catgirl that left that portal?"

"No Jay, thats just a furry, there's no such thing as a catlady."

"There definitely is, Lou."

"Nope, pretty sure there aren't."

"Alright, let's make a bet, if she is a catlady, I get to punch you a dozen times, if she's just a furry, then you get to throw a huge-ass fireball at me."

"Deal."

So off the duo went off to search for the mysterious visitor to Hey Deze. They searched all the music venues, as there was a huge music festival going on in Hey Deze. She wasn't there, nor was she at any of the nice restaurants, when they finally stopped to catch their breath, there she was, turning down a suspicious alley, and they followed her.

========

Catrina growled. How the hells did he get behind us?

She thought quickly, then ducked into a nearby alley. Going down a bit she turned and waited. As the man she had been tracking followed her down the alley she let out a roar. "Who the hell are you?"

"The name's Jay," the mysterious man replied.

He also told the demon on his shoulder, "I told you she was a catlady."

"Damn, I lost that one," said the demon.

Catrina smirked. "Okay Jay. Now usually I just go ahead and gut people who follow me like brook trout- but I'm gonna give you a break- once you tell me why?"

"I got bored, so that's why, killing hordes of demons just isn't any fun anymore."

"Hordes of..." Catrina stood, somewhat slack jawed as she gave Jay another look.

"Demons. I've been here a while."

"Oookay..." Catrina said slowly as she tried to come to grips with this man. Clearly he was... well if he was playing with a full deck it was clear that several of the cards were bent like crazy. Then again even if he was barking the truth was that he said he'd fought.. and killed hordes of demons. A nice asset to have in a friend in Hey Deze. They say the Goddess works in mysterious ways. Never thought they meant this mysterious!

Catrina purred, swishing her tail as she took on a more alluring pose than she had offered him before- you know, when she wanted to kill him? "Perhaps we should travel together, Jay. Oh, by the way my name is Catrina. Catrina Whiteclaw."

"ehhh, why not, I got nothing better to do, where do you want to go by the way?"

The question struck her hard, like a slap in the face. For a second she thought she was just going to go ahead and break down for a bit- but sterner stuff inside her stopped that. However it didn't stop the sob that she let out as she spoke. "Home... but that's impossible now."

Jay let off a handful of tears as he heard just how sad she was.

"Hey, my buddy Lou over here can get you back to where you're from, he's pretty powerful, he's just been a total dick, I've been asking him to take me back for ages, I finished my business down here a while ago, with some guy named Zed, but he just won't take me back topside."

Catrina looked at the demon. She then smiled. Sure, she had wanted to avoid coming to Hey Deze for just this reason but.. if it would get her home.

She purred at Lou. "Perhaps there is something I could offer you for the passage?" Her stance became less alluring and more.. seductive?

The demon looked at her, then her weapons, and laughed, then said, "Yeah, you beat the crap out of Jay for dragging me into this situation."

Not for the first time Catrina was thankful she had had the foresight to dress in her old fashion instead of the way she had been dressed around the castle before- which had been skyclad, to use the witch's term for it. As it was in that leather bikini of hers she gave the demon plenty to see, and it made her shiver just a bit. "But, If you are able to take us back any time you want then there isn't a situation to beat the crap out of him for." She added a bit of a move directly from the 'if you got it...' department.

Jay realized what was going on, and got into his combat stance.

He brandished his Katana, and then his armor and sword immediately burst into flames, as if there was a coating of fire on his weapons and armor.

Jay backed up to a wall as he was pulling out a boombox and as soon as he pressed play the fight started.

"Wait a second!" Catrina yelled as she ducked Jay's first blow, drawing her own twin katana. "I don't want to fight you!"

"And I thought you wanted to get out of Hey Deze, but hey, it's nice and warm here this time of year."

Catrina waited for his next blow, waited until it looked like it was about to hit and in fact it did hit- thin air. She called on her Chi and moved to the opening of the alley, sheathing her swords and standing proud. "There, I've shown you you can't touch me unless I want it.. Do you concede or do I show you I can touch you whenever I want? I'm sure Lou would enjoy it."

"Oh really?" Jay exclaimed, as he did a series of wall jumps to get to the top of the buildings.

He pulled out a huge shield with an eagle emblazoned on it, as well as a trident.

"Apparently you don't know who you're dealing with," Jay said, but with a deeper, more serious voice, as if its a completely different person.

"Yeah - he does this," Lou confided in Catrina.

"Not for much longer." Catrina growled. She followed Jay up by the same route- only much faster- and she continued forward after doing so, trying to slam a fist into the other fighter's body before he could react.

Jay quickly picked up his shield, just in time to catch her fist, then executed a complicated maneuver where he charged into her, did a shield butt, whacked her with the blunt end of his trident, and then jumped back. . . but he only was able to execute the shieldbutt as she wasn't expecting him to react that fast; she quickly recovered and attacked again. And again.. and again. Attacks so fast that they almost seemed to be at the same time from all around.

Jay quickly realized he couldn't win, and he spoke up and surrendered.

Catrina stopped, panting a bit as she recovered from the exertion. "Damn.. haven't done that.. since Honorburg."

"I'm a pretty good fighter right? I mean I did fight in the Pertene Wars," Jay replied in his original light happy voice.

As the fight was over, Lou did what he agreed to do, and started to open a portal.

Lou did a long a horrifying chant, using an arcane language which neither of the others knew.

As the portal opened, Lou said, "Alright it'll only stay open for a couple of minutes, so let's get going."

The trio were through, and once they got to the other side, they knew they were in trouble, as not only were they still in Hey Daze, they were right in the deepest part of Hey Daze, where not only the worst of the worst demons live, but also where all the worst of Hey Deze's crime was found.

"..." Lou paused, looked around and shrugged. "I'm sure we can all agree this is close enough, right?"

"Perhaps the spell on me is interfering," Catrina offered.

"Or it could be that Lou uttered the wrong words," Jay casually put out.

"Word of advice, hon. Never diss the demon who holds the keys to the way home." Catrina smirked.

"Woah there missy, I've known Lou since a little after the Pertene Wars, so I can say things like that, right Lou?" Jay replied.

"What? Do I know you?" Lou replied.

Jay just grunted and the trio left to try and get out of the area.

At the first intersection they find, they stopped and tried to figure out which way to go, they turned around to ask Lou, but he was gone, and in the distance they could see a bunch of demons dragging a squirming bag away.

"Hey, they stole me lucky charms, I mean my Lou!!!" Jay yelled.

"What are you, a leprechaun?" Catrina smirked again.

Jay just glared at her as he started to run after the demons. Catrina hesitated a moment.. then chased after Jay.

I am thinking Catrina "meshed" with Jay a little better than Jay did, although they were close in that regard. I also think having a huge-ass Catrina "solo" basically (oops, language warning there) helped out a lot for the quality of this co write.

Of course, the fact the portal failed is also owed to one of AIL's rules - that players can't "win" the mission during roleplaying, which is what Catrina escaping would have been. So it looks like she's stuck here for the time being!

Are you anxious to see where this leads? I certainly hope so! Before we get back to these two and Zed - more space elves!