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Eat, Fight, & Parental Discretion Advised
Mission:  Return to Hey Daze
subtitle: Jay's first solo

Posted by Jay
Original roleplay

The character reminds me of a mix of Samus XTreme's writing style and Raw Hide's humor and violent nature, although I have to admit Samus was the best of the three.

That isn't a knock against Raw or Jay though but rather due to Samus being one of our better writers as he matured, especially early on. Though Jay and Raw are pretty good too.

Anyway, it's easy to tell by the subtitle. This is his first solo. Check it out.


 
A familiar demon sat in a chair, with a bright lamp shining right into his eyes, the typical interrogation room. Our friend Lou got himself stuck in a bind. He's been beaten and tortured for something. He knew the location of a powerful magical object that the Demon Mafia wanted.

This object was a very special orb, the source of Lou's immense power, which no one else knew, not even Jay.

"You'll never get the location from me, and everyone else who knows, I killed personally," Lou whispered.

"Well we have ways to get it out of you, we don't have to just go through you," The Mafioso replied.

"Well there isn't anyone I have any relation to, or anyone i care about," Lou coughed out.

"There is one, and we have a legion of demons and others after him right now."

"You'll never take Jay out, if i know him right, he's playing with the dead bodies of your enforcers right now," Lou said with a smug grin.

**************************************************************

In the aftermath of the battle between the minotaurs and the adventurers, everyone got split up.

After Jay distracted the minotaurs, he found himself going out to eat, trying to find some good Hey Deze cuisine. Until eventually he found himself a Chinese food restaurant. As soon as he found a table, a mysterious demon in a trench coat walked in and sat at the table across the aisle from him.

Jay decided to himself that he wanted Genral Tsao's chicken, and a side order of pork fried rice. After a few minutes he noticed that the demon called a waiter over and handed him some money; they had a rather long conversation.

Jay heard a bell chime signaling that an order is ready, and then his food came out. On the waiter's tray was the largest plate of chicken he'd ever seen, his mouth watered watching the waiter walk to his table. Then he saw the rice, it was an enormous bowl, filled with the finest chopped pork, fried in the most delicious way hes ever seen.

When Jay was done eating, the restaurant looked like a tornado went through it. Scraps of food were everywhere, he ate the entire meal somehow, he even ate one of the plates.

Right as he was about to leave, one of the waiters came out with a cake and walked right towards his table. He gave it to Jay, and said it was on the house.

Jay thought this was a bit weird, because he just trashed the table. Then he realized that was the waiter which the demon gave a lot of money to. Something was really fishy, so he took a smell of the cake, and besides the sweet frosting smell, there was something there that he recognized, something he had not smelled in a very long time.

It was a special type of poison, one that he hasn't seen or heard about in years, one rarely used, and even then, only by the Demon Mafia. It just hit him now, how much trouble Lou must be in.

He pushed the cake away and sprinted from the restaurant.

The demon across from him, took off after him.

They sprinted all across the city, from street to street, neighborhood to neighborhood, until Jay hit a dead end, then he turned, and the fight was on.

The Enforcer started with a Right hook, Jay dodged, pulled out a knife, and stabbed him in the arm.

He pulled the knife out of the demons arm, and threw it right at its windpipe; he made it. It went clear through the demon's neck, landing on the sidewalk. When someone finally discovered the body, Jay was long gone.

He knew the mafia's tricks, and he went off to find all the other demons they sent after him, because they never send one.

----------------------------------------------------------------

He found one of them in the streets, disguised fairly well as a homeless demon.

One was in the sewers, trying to find him, searching throughout them.

Another was in the markets, haggling with a merchant.

The last was on a street corner, trying to sell stolen watches.

Jay found a creative, and imaginative way to kill every single one of them.

For the disguised one, he decided that he needed to give him a bath, so he stuffed a bar of soap down it's throat, killing him slowly.

For the next one, he dressed up in a gator costume, and started swimming through the sewers, and as soon as he found the demon, the "SewerGator of Hey Deze" drowned the demon.

The Demon in the marketplace had a terrible "accident" when his face ran into a sword.

And as for the one selling stolen watches, one of his customers paid him with a suitcase filled with money, and a time bomb.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Jay found a note in one of the demons' pockets, it said that there was one more demon hired for this job, one that was a surefire way to put Jay 10 feet under.

When Jay finally found the demon, he snuck up behind it, and chloroformed it, intending to torture it for answers.

--------------------------------------------------------------

When the demon finally woke up, it asked him one single question.

"Who are you?"

"Funny thing there, a better question is who are you? Because you've been paid to kill me," Jay replied.

"They call me the eviscerator, and personally, I really didn't want to take this job, my wife forced me to take it, because we needed the money."

"Hmmmmmmm, perhaps we can make a deal, all you need to do is give me the location of the Demon Mafia's base, and you can go free," Jay quizzically put out.

"If you throw in some money you got a deal" the assassin replied.

"Would a grand work?" Jay casually said.

"Deal, their Lair is at the run down house, right at the center of Hey Deze, in that house there should be a trap door under the rug in the kitchen, that's right where it is."

There was a sudden flash, the demon was blinded for a few seconds, then when he could see again, he realized that he was free, and there was a pile of money right next to him.

 


Weird lil piece.. but easy to code. I loved that we had someone to take over the style of Raw and Samus, while adding his own twist and favor, because it felt like it was missing from AIL. Anyway, here it is.. and there's only two more pieces to go before we see more of Jay and the others in the four part Finale.

That's right. It's a four parter!

 
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Kingdom of Loathing (KOL) is a (mostly) original online game that apparently has something to do with Asymmetric Publications, LLC, and something called a Jick, who probably copyrighted it. This is the archive for an interactive writing game based on KOL, and a specific clan within- the Kingdom of KOL. Specific characters belong to their specific owners, specifically, unless specifically stated otherwise. This game was developed by Joshua A. Dexter, with rules based in part on Mercenary and Equinox. Live Roleplay rules developed and balanced by Cameron Millar. This is a non profit game done for entertainment purposes only. If a rash develops on your imagination, desist use immediately and consult a physician, psychologist, or 1-900 psychic for further assistance. KOL forums, store, entry at Answers, KOL's entry at Archive.org, and it's entry at Wikipedia, and KOL's own wiki. - JAD
In other words, I don't own KOL, or KOKOL, and KOL doesn't own KOL. Get it? Good!
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