Sassy is back and meets a couple strange critters in this one.

Emphasis on strange, but it's a good read. Always is with Sassy. This is actually the first mission to get voted on where we see such a big amount of stories from her!

 
The man comes awake suddenly again in the dark night.  I reach over and take his hand.

"Where am I?"

"You are safe on the mountains in our camp.  It is night so it is dark."

"Not as dark as where I ha'e been.  The mountains are really dark. Trolls seem to be all over it.  Not sure of what they want.  Oh yes," he says looking at me, "you are healing me. Your name is Sassy something, right?"

"Almost.  It is Sassy Snake.  Do you remember now, Blorf?"

"Please," he begs. "Just call me Bad Luck.  Most of my friends do anyway; not that I ha'e a lotta 'em."

I put a few more flyers on the fire when I see a movement out of the corner of my eye.  I tell Bad Luck to stay where he is and that I'll be back in a minute.  I want to check it out.  From where I was looking I had seen sketchy patches of color; purple mostly.

I start off in the direction where I saw it and soon find four elves. I come upon them softly and sneak up on them.  I grab for the elf in purple.

"Gerrrroff me, ye crazed leddy!"

"Are you the one going around the mountains poisoning travelers?"

"Yes, of course I am."

I look at him strangely.  "I thought so, no, wait!  You said you were?"

"You don't un'erstan, lady,  My name is Tickle and these are my friends.  The one you are holding, his name is Lyre."

"Oh, you mean like the musical instrument?"

"Only partly,"  Tickle says, "He plays the lyre, but he is also a lyre.  He lyes all de time."

"You mean he tells lies all of the time?"  I look at him as if he has gone mad.

Lyre looks at me, then he points back to our camp.  "Dat ain't your camp?"

"Well, actually it is."

"You don't got no food dere either?"

"You are right.  We don't have any food.  Not a bite.  You better try not to follow me there.  You won't be welcome."  I smile at him and give a thumbs-up to Tickle who grins back at me.  I return to camp and get ready for our little visitors.

"Linger!  Get up, we are going to have some company.  Bad luck, you up to meeting some elves?"

"Uh, I guess so."

I no sooner get things ready when here they come and the elf in purple is leading the way.

"Dis isn't a very nice camp you got here!  Dat fire isn't built right and the food is burned."  I give him some food and he wolfs it down.

"I guess you were hungry, huh?"  I ask him.

"Not me," he says with his mouth full of food. "Not hungry at all. Couldn't eat a bite."  He continues to eat as I giggle.  I am starting to catch on to his tricks.

Linger notices something that I hadn't seen before.  He goes up to the elf in purple and asks, "Where didya git that feather you have in your hat."

"Dat ain't mine.  It don't belong to me!  Just carrying it for a friend."  I see the feather now and can't help noticing it is an oriole's feather.

"I sure do like that feather though.  I wonder, if someone wanted one, I wonder where he would get it."

"From the byrd hisself." giggles Tickle.  "Wotya tink?"

"Yes, but I wanted to know where Lyre found it."

"I didn't find it.  It ain't mine."

"I know it isn't but where did you come across it?"

"Wal, now dat is a story.  I was just sitting in Seaside Town at a tavern when someone just' give it to me."

I blink my eyes at him.  "Uh, try again."

"I was in South Degrassie when dis gigantic byrd swoopppped down and the feather lan'ed on my head."

"No, try once more."

"I don't know where anyone can find them.  All I know is that I didn't find it in that mountain pass over dere."

"In the mountain pass where?"

"Well, it sure isn't in the bushes.  That's absolutely where it wasn't.  I wouldn't even bodder lookin' fer it dere."

I smile at him and give him some more food.  "Can I have the feather?"

"Yes, sure, it isn't mine anyway.  Just feel free to take it."

I reach to take his feather when his hand flashes down and comes up with a dagger and nicks my hand.

"I told ya, it wasn't mine, dinn't I?"

Linger starts to move toward him, but I signal him back.  "It's okay, Linger, I forgot that he lies all of the time."

"Them that forgits dat, gits hert quite a bit, lady," laughs Tickle.

I back away from Lyre.  "You know, it is awfully dangerous around here, Lyre.  I would keep that dagger in my hand all of the time I was in this unsafe camp."

He smiles as he slides the dagger back into its sheath.

"I tink she is gettin' used to 'im now." laughs Tickle.  "Who is all youse people anyway and why you is on these mountains?"

"Initially," I say, "We didn't come up here to not find the oriole who isn't missing.  Then we didn't find out that there was no rogue elf on the mountains trying to not poison people.  Naturally, we are neither concerned nor worried about any of these things.  Anyone for some tea?"

I pour tea for everyone and settle back with my cup.

"Lyre, do you know anything about Uncle Crimbo and where his town is located?"

"Oh yes," says he. "Knows lots of stuff about dat.  He is a really fun guy and a swell one too.  His town is down that rabbit hole in between those large rocks over there."

"How about Father Crimbo?"

"Never heard of dat guy.  Don't know where he is.  Is he around here somewhere?"

"I heard he was not up in these mountains.  Maybe on those mountains over there or in the plains," I say as I smile at Lyre.

"I wouldn't look in any of those places to find him."

Linger comes up to me.  "Sassy, what is happening?  I am lost here. Not sure of what is going on."

"Oh," I say to him in a whisper, "this elf Lyre, he always tells lies. If he says don't go there, he means the opposite.  Get it?"

Linger scratches his head.  "Me think so.  Why him do t'dat?"

"I knows the answer to dat one," speaks Tickle.  "You see, he learnt it in lying school.  Was so good at it he decided to make it his life's mission to lie as much as he can.  Doesn't really pay, but he does it for laughs."  Whereup, he sneaks up on me and begins to tickle me.  "Same way as I likes to tickle people, just for the laughs."

Linger shakes his head and slowly walks to the other side of the fire. I go to him and comfort him.

"I know that these elves are a bit strange, Linger, but I think that they can help us."

"If Sassy thinks so, den we make 'em friends.  It not always easy though."

"I agree with you there, Linger.  Doesn't look like any of them would be poisoning travelers though, does it?"

"How you so sure?"

"Well, for starters I think that these guys are from Father Crimbo and are friendly, if not a bit odd.  I don't think that the rogue elf is on their side."

"I hope you is right."

I go to Bad Luck and ask in a whisper, "Do you recognize any of these elves as the elf who gave you the powder?"

He looks at the elves for a while and slowly shakes his head, "No, none of these.  I would remember that little squirt."

"What did he look like?"

"He had a black cloak and hood and he chuckled a lot as he ran back and forth in the shadows."

"And you thought you could trust someone like that?"

"Well," he says, "My luck is usually pretty bad, so I hoped that it might change my luck."

"Luck!  It almost killed you!"

"Yes, well, I didn't think that would happen at all.  Lucky for me you was here, huh?"

"Yes, it is.  Any ideas of what we can do with all of these elves?"

"Not the slightest."  I shake my head and move away to talk with Lyre some more.

"Will you take us to Father Crimbo's town?"

"How can I do that?  Ain't I said I never heard of it.  I can't take you nowhere where I don't know where nowhere is, can I?"

"I, um, uh, I guess not."  I wander away to be away.  This is starting to give me a headache.  I know he knows where the town is, but he can't lead us because he says he doesn't know where it is.  On the other hand, suppose he isn't lying when he says he doesn't know where it is.

"Tickle?"  I say and he bounds at me, giggling and saying "I'd love to!" whereupon he begins to tickle me.  Ha ha ha!  I am starting to regret our quiet little mountain retreat.

I finally have an "aha" moment and I come up to Lyre.

"Lyre, don't you dare take us to Father Crimbo's village.  I don't want to go there and I won't follow you there.  It probably isn't all that great anyway."

Lyre looks at me puzzled, then he gets up and starts to climb the mountainside.  The other elves follow him.  I strike the camp and Bad Luck and Linger and I are on the move.

"Where we go, Sassy?"

"I think we are going to meet Father Crimbo."

"But we will need a lot of luck to get there."

"But that elf say he not know where it is,"  Linger starts to say and then he has what passes for an "aha" moment for him.  "Oh, me get it. Him does know but him lie and say not know.  So we follow him?"

"Yes," I say to him, "took me a bit to catch on too.  I'll try to remember where he said he found the feather and we'll search for it on the way back."  I look with a bit of concern at Bad Luck.  "You okay? Are you up for this trip?"

"Sure thing, Snake girl.  Never felt better!"

"Him recover fast.  Or do the potions work dat well?"

"Not sure which one.  I think we better keep an eye on him though."

The morning is crisp and cold and it is beautiful up here.  I stop suddenly in my tracks when I hear a song from a bird.

"Did anyone else hear that?" I ask.

"Oh dat," says Lyre.  "Dat not important.  I don't think it was an oriole or nuffink.  Not a good song really.  We should stop for a rest."  So saying, he continues climbing faster than before.

These elves will drive me crazy.  One is a liar, another enjoys tickling you and I have no ideas yet what the others do but I will watch out for more tricks.

We keep walking and climbing and by late afternoon, Lyre turns to face us.

"I think I will keep on walking."  And then he sits down and takes a rest.  I wonder just what I have done to be punished like this to have to deal with Lyre and his friends.

Once again on the move, we wade a small brook and continue until a beautiful valley opens up before us.  Personally, I am more lost than I have been for quite some time.  I couldn't find my way back if you paid me a stack of meat.  I do notice that there is darkness that seems to surround us, cutting us off like walls.  Linger starts to hesitate.

"Sassy, me not like this country.  Me not like dis place so much."

"Is it close to your family home?"

"Me think not, but my fambly is everywhere and wid this darkness, well you never can tell what dey might do."

We go down deep into the valley and suddenly we see the gates of a village ahead of us.

I turn to Lyre. "Is that Father Crimbo's village?"

"Me tell you before!  Me not know where dat is.  Dis is definitely not Crimbo town.  Absolutely, positively not dat village.  Dis is here and here we is."

"Oh, that's a big help," I mutter under my breath.

Tickle sneaks up on me again and tickles me.  "You needs to laugh and smiles more snake girl.  Yeh, sure this is where you wanted to go. This is Crimbo town."

Tickle takes a small key and unlocks the gates and we go inside.  It is beautiful beyond belief.  It has a breathtaking view.  There are candy cane cottages, and gingerbread houses, and even cheese castles.

"Wow," I say as I take it all in.  "Wow."

"Yeh," Tickle says and runs off to try to tickle Linger.

"Hey Lyre; I don't want to thank you for not bringing us here.  We could have found it on our own, you know."  I giggle and flash him a broad smile.

Lyre plays a tune on his lyre, then bows a bow and grins at me.

"You and your friends are not welcome here.  You can just leave as soon as you can and never come back."  He laughs and goes off to one of the houses.

It looks like all of the elves have gone to their homes and families. We are just standing there admiring the view.

"I wonder where Father Crimbo is and whether he can help us find the Oriole?"

"Me not know, but have never seen such wonderful t'ings before.  Dis is really pretty."

"Coming from a troll," booms out a huge hearty voice, "that is a high compliment indeed.  Ho, ho!  So, who are you folks then and what brings you to Crimbo Town?"

"I am Sassy Snake and this is Bad Luck Blorf and my good friend Linger the troll.  We are trying to find the Toot Oriole.  Have you heard or seen it, sir?"

"About a week ago, I thought I heard it while I was strolling on the mountains.  Of course, Lyre did find his feather; so I can assume he is out there somewhere.  I am not sure how I can help you though."

"I thought I heard it coming up the mountains, but Lyre said it wasn't him."

Father Crimbo laughs until his belly shakes. "Then it was probably him all right.  You aren't the only ones looking for him, but you seem to be nicer than anyone who has come this far before.

"Well, regardless of what Lyre says, you can feel free to make yourselves at home.  I would be put out if you didn't take supper with me.  How about it?"

"We would be much obliged, Sir.  We would be delighted to share your supper with you."

Voter Ichiro called the humor "top notch," although I thought the Lyre bit got a bit overplayed and even a tiny bit confusing at times. They're still interesting NPC's so far, and it's cool to see Father Crimbo show up. We saw him back in Holiday although he was much more abbrasive back then... especially with Zed! Maybe it's just easier to be nicer to Sassy? Haha.