Ahh, this one was fun to write!

As you can see there's a lot going on. I worked on it not long before Christmas 2016, but sadly, only got it posted about three days before Christmas. Anyway, I'll let you read it before I comment more. As you can see, it's quite long, partly because it's two Quests in one.

 
Assisted by M (Catrina) and Aleena

Catrina moved uneasily into the cave, her tail flicking. She had dreaded this from the moment they had found out where her kit was being kept.

Now she was in the cave, yet not in this cave. Well, it was this cave, but the sights that assaulted her were from when it was she who was a captive here!

She mewled a bit at a particularly nasty memory, almost feeling the punch in her gut from Daisuke… It took her a few long moments to hear Dash whispering to her. "Cat.. nose. Do you have anything or not?"

She nearly jumped at his voice, shaking her head and blushing. "Y-yes… of course." She'd quickly take the scents, overlooking some older ones, some that threatened to have the memories return, until she found the one she wanted. "That way..." She started off in the direction she pointed. She then smiled a little at a better memory. "Bring a rock…"

Dash ran his free hand over his broadsword, still strapped to his back. The mirrored sword, he held in front of him as he edged along. He didn't have to look to sense the Morlencir Queen, Aleena, behind him. "I think you're a lil more dangerous than a rock, though. Are we clear on the path forward, ladies?"

"I don't have a science kit, wouldn't know," Aleena replied. She brought up the rear - not because she was afraid to lead, but because her laser weapon could easily fire past allies, and her ability to see in all directions even in the dark would give her plenty of ambush warning.

"No, the way is not clear." Catrina growled. "Up ahead are my baby and the prey that stole him!" Her claws had extended, cutting into the wraps on the hilts of her katana.

"Cat," Dash said, his voice low. "Let me lead."

Aleena nodded. "That might be a good idea."

She turned and snarled at him, then she caught herself, backing down. "Y-yes… you'd better go first…"

Dash worked his way silently past Catrina and through another twist, coming into a rather large open section of cave. Filled to the brim with crates, it was eerily silent. And yet, sitting at the edge of the cave, surrounded by more of the crates, sat a very familiar style of hand crafted infant bassinet. The head of the cradle still bore the old symbol of the Feline Empire. Dash glanced back. "I don't like this. It feels like a..."

Seeing the crib Catrina couldn't help but barge past Dash, running to it, then roaring as she spun, katana at the ready, her move knocking the crib- the empty crib- over. "TRAP!"

Dash moved in, with Aleena right behind, eyes and radars trying to figure who else was in the room. As they moved, a pair of thick deadrose vines, gray as a mist, moved to upright the infant's crib, even as four more vines launched for Catrina with blinding speed. Dash tried to cry out a warning but was too slow. Catrina snarled a stream of her native language that would make a sailor blush but mostly avoided the attack, though a few thorns scratched her as they tangled around her arms, allowing more vines to entangle her limbs.

"If the baby isn't here.." Dash started, moving to help her as Aleena scanned the area.

"Of course it's here," a familiar high pitched voice called out. Dash and Catrina then heard Catrina's own voice. It sounded comforting but.. wrong. "Don't worry, little baby. You'll be safe from these monsters soon."

Another stream of profanity came from Catrina as she struggled to free herself and attack… herself. The vines suddenly gave way and she was on the Jester King of Beasts with her claws sinking into his neck as she choked him. Jester King was barely able to choke up a response.. "Let.. go.. pussy.. or.. I do.."

He glanced down to his hand, where he held the baby was being held, half phased into the rock. Catrina's eyes went wide. She could tell it was really her kit. It was the right scent and… well she didn't think this bozo would know what a feline baby looked like.

"She tightened her grip a bit. "You do, and there will be nothing keeping me from killing you."

The Jester King, despite quickly losing his breath, chuckled. Or tried to. It came out as more of a gurgle. "Sounds... like a .. win/ win..."

Distracted, even Catrina was unaware of the sound of a laser cutting along the face of the rock. It quickly fell away, and Aleena's voice called to the kit, "Bite, baby."

The rock around the kit was now gone, though. The kit, still phased, quickly bit into the arm holding it and fell away as Aleena faded into sight, catching the kit as it fell. A silver and yellow blur rushed through, pushing Dash and Aleena to the side and grabbing the kit. Before it could take off, though, Catrina tackled it, doing her best to see that the kit was protected when they hit the ground hard. Slit scampered away from her, not wanting to be mauled.

A crossbow bolt shot through the middle of the room towards Catrina, but Dash's reflexes were enough to intercept the bolt, causing it to veer helplessly to the side. Meanwhile, Aleena found herself the next victim of the vine attacks, even as Catrina found herself pulled away from the Jester King, throwing both her and J.K.o.t.B to the cave ground. Catrina looked up at the latest member to join the fight.. shocked to see ... Him.

It was the last thing she saw clearly, as His heavy fist crashed into her face and she went limp in her bindings.

-----

Assisted by M (Cattaras)

Meanwhile, in Seaside Town

Things were looking up in Seaside Town, in spite of the recent events. See the Mafia Town Finale for all the grueling and elaborate details. -- Your hard-workin' editor, J

Several liftless judges sat slouching nearby, heads tilted forward as they complained about the quality of the chairs. Meanwhile, on stage, a familiar looking archer was putting on an impressive looking show. Jen smiled as she nailed her first shot after explaining she had temporarily disabled all assistance from her cysuit. No one really had any idea what she meant.

Elsewhere, Cattaras Whiteclaw sniffed the air. He then pointed for the friend at his side.

"That one… Not so sure that one is using fresh ingredients…. And THAT one…"

He frowned at a certain well decorated kiosk, another part of the Knob Goblin BBQ competition going on along with the La-Z sponsored archery contest.

"All I'll say is whatever meat they're using, it ain't chicken…"

"Most Goblins avoid chicken," pointed out Red, one of Becky Joy's Goblin travelling companions. "It gives us heartburn when you add the otherwise harmless rat poison."

Goblina laughed. "Well, harmless to Knob Goblins. So which Goblin BBQ team do you like Cattaras?"

He didn't answer. Goblina noticed a far off look in his eyes. "Catt? Did you smell something unpleasant?"

Sassy Snake held her nose. "I know I do. How do they eat this stuff?"

Catt growled. "I'll be right back." He then ran off as only he can, sending one thought to his elfin love..

"I'm on my way- and He's dead!"

And with that, Cattaras vanished in a puff of chi-inspired speed, leaving the others confused.

-----

Same location, a few moments later

Shelldor couldn't believe his good fate. With Bob busy fidgeting and fussing with one of the hippie salespersons at the archery meeting, Shelldor had grown seriously bored listening to Bob try to whine himself into a slightly better deal for the last few minutes. Fortunately, he'd kept his mind sharp and kept track of what else was going around town. And when Bob finally gave up and went to find a spot to nap, Shelldor spotted some very familiar faces nearby!

The elven one with the strange black suit with red highlights. She was there for the last major battle Shelldor remembered, the one with the ultimate airship. He then spotted two more familiar figures.. the silly little ice mage and the sassy little healer.. Great!

All I have to do is let Bob drift off to sleep, which should only take a couple minutes. Then I'll sneak out, get over there and find a way to.. Bob stopped mid thought and frowned. (Wait, can a turtle frown?) Say goodbye, apparently, since they're all leaving. What the heck?!

Indeed, as Bob watched, a very concerned looking Jen split the groups in two, with one group following her and the other walking off towards the center of town. Because of course they'd leave as soon as I saw them. Why not?

Shelldor cursed (and yeah, it came out all turtley) and wondered if this was part of the same curse that turned him into a turtle in the first place.

-----

The Seaside Town Council building, yet later

Six council members, including three representatives of the penguin mafia, sat around the Administrative Meeting of Loathing as adventurers lined in. KOKOL's Prince Blahking stood behind the table as well, looking especially serious and grim.

They were still trickling into the room, drawn by the Council's announcement of a meeting to request the help of some civil minded adventurers. (Of course, the council's history of quest appropriate rewards didn't hurt matters.)

The non penguin council members looked irritated and unsure of themselves. Nevertheless, Howe took it upon himself to speak up first. "Fellow adventurers and allies, we have a request to ask of you, but before I do, we've promised to floor to one of our closest allies of the past year, Prince Blahking of the Kingdom of KOL. But hey, stay put for a very special exciting opportunity after he's done. I mean, unless you want to go help him in which case, that's great, just great!"

First quest - "KOKOL"

Prince Blahking took a moment to center himself spiritually before standing up to take center stage. He'd dealt with the Council many times before, and always found it quite annoying.

"I've stood here several times in the past," Blahking started, "in aiding the noble and powerful Council of Loathing in a variety of issues. However, this is my first public meeting with the Council to ask for their help."

"What about that time you asked us for help battling the Knob Goblins?" heckled Council member Howe. "That was at least two or three meetings."

"Those were all private or semi private," Blahking pointed out. "But I thank you for granting me this time in return for the many, many favors I've granted the Council in the past and I look forward to exploring our relationship in the future. For now, however, I turn my attention to the adventurers gathered here.

"Three of my clan's most valued members and allies have been kidnapped."

Several startled responses to this were expected.

"I'm sure most of you are familiar with the actions of Catrina Whiteclaw in the past, where she temporarily seized control of the Knob Goblin empire, ruling it for a brief period of time until the rise of Kadlin Bearsmasher, a situation which proved to be temporary as well. However, there is much that isn't as well known publicly. While the entire story would be far too complex to get into at the moment, they were being controlled by dark forces, of which they both broke free of, although Kadlin did so at the expense of her own life.

"What's also less known is that during her time with the Feline Empire, she had a child."

Blahking paused to allow for several gasps of surprise and shock throughout the room. Although he had his suspicions on who the father might be, the Prince wisely chose to keep that to himself.

"Amidst the confusion with the hostile takeover of the Feline Empire.."

That got more shocked gasps, which an annoyed Blahking tried to ignore.

"Her child was kidnapped."

No reaction at all. Blahking glared at the crowd.

"That's the point you're supposed to be surprised by."

And on cue, the adventurers, audience, and council members let out sounds of their shock and surprise.

Blahking shook his head. "Anyway, Catrina, along with her closest ally, Sebastian Dash, and Aleena, queen of the Morlencir, tracked down the child earlier today."

A round of cheers went up throughout the room.

"But it turned out to be an ambush."

The cheering turned to boos and only when the boos died down did multiple adventurers let our surprised gasps.

"Cattaras has moved to aid his sister."

Polite applause.

"But this turned out to be an ambush, too."

Disappointed sighs.

"Morlencir princess Jen's moved to help."

No response, so Blahking shrugged and kept talking. "Thanks to her link with Cattaras, Jen was able to quickly pass along some information before she moved to aid Cattaras. It seems the trio of Catrina, Sebastian and Aleena were teleported to an unknown destination after falling to their attackers. We know their attackers included former Elite 8 members such as Slit and the Jester King of Beasts. More, such as the Trinity, ambushed Cattaras during his rescue attempt, though he seems to have avoided whatever teleported his sister and her allies.

"While Jen could use the assistance aiding Cattaras, we believe she'll be able to rescue our valued ally in short time. Of greater concern is the vanishing of Aleena, Catrina and Sebastian Dash. We're requesting adventurers and KOKOL allies search for the location of the three, and aid in their recovery.

"With your help, we can bring them home safely. While we don't have the resources the esteemed Council of Loathing, I am a rather experienced chef with access to a chrono mine. I can promise delicious chrono-laced food as your reward, though I can't promise there won't be any mysterious side effects. Hopefully they'll be beneficial."

This brought a warm chuckle from the room.

"I can promise proper compensation for aiding on their escape," Blahking said, wrapping up. "Just bring them to the KOKOL kingdom, located northwest from the clan encampments on the west side of Seaside Town, and we'll make sure you're well compensated."

Blahking bowed to the Council members. "Thank you for rewarding our previous assistance to the Council. I leave the floor to you, gentlemen and honorable penguins."

Second quest - "Rescue"

As Blahking walked to the back of the room, all attention fell back to the Council members. Council member Howe gathered his papers and walked to the center of the desk, whistling to the tune of "T'is the season to be manly."

"Alright, everyone, give a warm and insincere round of applause for our guest speaker, Prince Blahking. And with that nicety out of the way, let's get down to our other task. Listen closely, since you'll have to choose one quest.

"As you're all aware, the world stood at the verge of destruction last year when several brave forces.."

Like us," Prince Blahking interjected. "The Kingdom of KOL."

"Ahem." Howe paused. "As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted - excuse you, by the way. Several forces- yes, I suppose including KOKOL and others - moved to prevent the world from coming to an end. Or the end, if you prefer. However, the world itself was shaken to the core, with the Kingdom in the eye of the storm. Yes, you might say we were slapped around in overtime and what not during the home stretch of the ninth run.

"But before my extremely clever metaphor gets out of control, let me get back to our request. As some of you might have heard, it would seem darkness has settled over the mountains during the incident near the former Farnsworthy tower. Prince Blahking, what was your theory on this?"

"We know a dark one, or," Blahking specified, "a small fragment of a Dark One was released into our world. Judging from our scientifically controlled magic scrying, we fully believe that this shadowy creature has settled over the mountains. We have no known way of countering it until it makes a move, but we're hoping it will, for lack of a better phrase, get bored and move on. Like my fifth girlfriend with a stray cat."

A penguin spoke up. "We should just ignore that and focus on the mission."

"Yeah," Council member Howe replied. "But before I give you this mission, I'd like to invite a very special guest up to speak at this point."

"Haven't we had enough guest speakers for one meeting?!" someone from the crowd whined but he or she was ignored as a Crimbo elf stepped up. Since they were so rarely seen, it's hard to imagine how anyone who saw the Crimbo elf know what it was. And yet, judging from the gasps of awe, the gasps of shock, and the general shock and awe from the audience, they knew beyond much doubt this was a Crimbo elf.

"Hello!" he said in a faux-merry voice as he hopped up on the meeting table of Loathing to be better seen. He held a wrench in his hand, which had nothing to do with his introduction. "I am Spanner, of the Crimbo Factory elves."

"There's a Crimbo Factory?!" Council member Dewey asked, shocked. No, really. Shocked.

"There is now," the elf said, pulling out a red and striped candy cane, lighting it on fire, and smoking it like a pipe. Striped smoke started rising from it, oddly. "See, as you all know, Father Crimbo is truly like a father to us. A father who mostly slept, always had a wine with dinner, and was often busy teaching us valuable life lessons through taking us on whacky hijinks and comedic situations that often relied on us misunderstanding a piece of conversation at the wrong time.

"However, his drunken brother was involved in an an incident where demons from Hey Daze attempted to kill Father Crimbo. If you're not familiar with that, don't worry. As interesting and well written as it is, it's just backstory now. Anyway, after playing a small role in saving his brother, he was invited, or rather, he invited himself, to stay with Father Crimbo in his mysterious hidden village in the mists of time.

"Well, not surprisingly, trouble started right away, what with Uncle Crimbo being an unreliable, abusive, foul mouthed drunk. And those are just his good points! On the other hand, even by a shifty, drunken nogoodnick standards, pardon my slang, Father Crimbo was really lazy. After a few weeks, he started promising that if he could whip the elves into shape and put them on a real schedule, that he could produce a Crimbo little children had always dreamed of.

"As it turned out, after centuries upon centuries of monotony, some of the elves were ready for something new. Or, more specifically, some of us had long ago been driven insane by it. Or was it a plot twist by the great just incredible creator king in the sky? Who can say? Or maybe.."

"We get the point!" Three random people yelled at exactly the same time, oddly in harmony.

Spanner the elf shrugged. "So Uncle Crimbo started his own camp, to counteract Father Crimbo's camp, and a war was born. Kind of like those Twix commercials in.. oops, sorry. You're not supposed to hear about that for another thousand years. Anyway, I joined his new camp along with hundreds of my non-denominational brethren and.. er.. sisteren in hopes of taking part in a bigger, better and brighter Crimbo for all."

"So," Council member Howe asked. "How'd that work out for you?"

Spanner shrugged, his little elf ears seeming to blush slightly. "Well, as soon as we got our camp up, he basically imprisoned us with the help of some cyborg-looking things, mutated us, and put us to work non stop. Of course, Father Crimbo is probably coming up with his own scheme to compete with his brother. Meanwhile, with the two battling openly, both versions of Crimbo Town have come out of the mists, in their hidden location. I can't tell you where it is, or give you even a clue, but I can tell you this ancient Crimbo riddle, of which few elves have ever cracked.

"'It's located in the Big Mountains. Specifically, Crimbo Town can be located two thirds of a mile directly southeast of Mt. McLargeHuge. It's very easy to find if you look hard enough.' Of course, I'm sure you have never heard of Mr. McLargeHuge, so I doubt you'll ever find the towns."

There was much chatter among the crowd.

"You.. have never heard of the Big Mountains, right?" the worried Crimbo elf asked.

"Nevermind that," a random adventurer from the audience asked. A different one than before. "So you want us to try to stop the war between the two, right? Broker a peace so next year's Crimbo can come in.. er.. peace?"

"What?!" Council member Howe asked. "No, of course not. We don't care if the two are at war or not. Why would you think that?!"

Another adventure asked, "Then what was the point of that extensive backstory on Crimbo?!"

"Well," Spanner answered uncomfortably. "I was setting the backstory for when I snuck out of the slave mines in order to take a peaceful and relaxing walk. That's when I discovered something was wrong with the land."

"Why couldn't you just have said, 'I decided to sneak out of Crimbo's secret lair for a while and take a walk?' Did we really need to know the rest about Uncle Crimbo and Father Crimbo?"

"It's really interesting!" Spanner said defensively.

"We wanted to let you know that you can find two camps of Crimbo Town, locked into a cold war, my friends," said a really fat penguin, puffing on a cigar. "We'd also like to go into painstaking detail about how and why the mountains are more dangerous than ever, if you don't mind."

"We do mind!" sixteen people responded in unison which drew grumbles and protests from the Council table.

"Fine, then let's get to the point," a random penguin Council member said, which drew cheers from audience members anxious to finally hear the mission goal, which is ironic since their cheering only delayed the penguin from speaking for several minutes. When it died down, he continued. "We want you to find the Toot Oriole, check up on his status, see how he's dealing with the end of the world stuff, and ultimately bring him back to check in with us personally. And possibly do a dance and song. We would find it .. unwise.. of you not to take this mission."

"Of course," Prince Blahking reminded them. "If you wish to take part in our rescue operations, I'm sure the Council of Loathing would recall expressly granting permission for this."

The penguin just glared at Blahking, so Howe spoke up again. "We haven't heard any tales of the Toot since before this all began. Some suspect the Toot knew the world ending disaster was coming and took hiding somewhere in the Kingdom. Those people are offbeat nonconformist radicalists and can usually be ignored safely.

"Make no mistake, though. The Toot is mysterious. You can't capture him or intimidate him into coming and trying would be.."

"Most unwise!" two penguin Council members said at once.

"But if you can find him," a fourth penguin said, out of the audience. "I'm sure the Council would appreciate it very much.. thank you and goodnight."

Well.. that was weird.

I was a little worried when I made it a double quest mission that we might not get enough roleplaying for one or both missions but as you'll see, we ended up picking up more roleplays for this mission than any other mission so far!

Next up is one of the major reasons for that; Sassy Snake! Yup, Sassy Snake kicks off roleplaying. After that, we'll get four more player characters on the board. But first up is Sassy!