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3M: The Finale Continues
Mission:  Mansion's Maniac Mysteries

Posted by Mary Kate
Original Finale Part II

We get a new Somber Six member here and a bit of Sassy Snake, but a lot of this is still setup. We've only really seen anything on Boss Bat and Rasworth so far, as they were the focus on the last mission. They're in action in this piece as well. Spookyraven was revived at the end of the last mission, and the Renaissance Giant was revived at the end of the Iris solo. This is our first taste of the next Somber Six member- you'll see!


 
As chaos reigned outside of the force field, a battle brewed inside of the barrier as well.

Mary started to move when she saw a blur that moved faster than a speeding bullet, whiz past her and into the fray of battle. It shoved past the Boss Bat and went straight for the group of ratmen- Muri-Dan, they're called. Suddenly, the two without bladed tails dodged back with that same superhuman speed. The blur came to a halt just long enough for her to recognize it as the catman from earlier!

Mary had never seen anything move that fast and was spellbound for a fraction of a second and then looked around to see how she could help him out. Two of the ratmen surrounded him. Catman - yeah, that seemed like a good name to Mary, she was going with that for now- Catman didn't seem to notice the rat like Muri-dan approaching behind him! Still mesmerized by the scene, Mary didn't think to call out a warning until he was already swinging his (her?) bladed tail at "Catman"- but he turned at the second, dodging out of the way in a superhuman blur of speed.

He'd moved out of the way by the time Mary finally called out her warning; "CATMAN! LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!" only to realize her warning was too late and he had already moved. Mary sighed with relief but reprimanded herself for being so slow in responding to his plight. "Mary, if you are going to be of any help here you have to react faster or we're all doomed," she whispered to herself, shaking.

Busy scolding herself, she didn't see Ratsworth sneaking in the shadows. She stepped out of her hiding place and was immediately grabbed from behind. She struggled to get out of the chokehold he had on her with a couple elbows to his gut. He began to tighten the hold on her but she kept hitting him, forcing him to let go. She spun around, kicked him in the nuts and he went to his knees. She attempted a roundhouse kick to the face but his tail blocked her; he grabbed her leg and tripped her up, sending her crashing to the ground.

Mary hit hard, gasped for breath as she felt the anger building. She put that anger to good use, attacking him with blows anywhere she could possibly land one. "You dirty rotten piece of dung meat, you're not going to get away this time," Mary roared. All she could think about right now was keeping him from hurting anyone else. Even so, Mary couldn't help noticing that Ratsworth seemed a little tougher than their last fight.

Ratsworth stepped back and started beating Mary with the walking stick that he had once used on Wildfall. She tried to block the blows but was unsuccessful. She was going to feel this in the morning if she lived thru the beating.

Nearby the catman (actually Cattaras Whiteclaw) traded a series of punches with both Jerome and Mortimer at breakneck speed, and although they were each getting in their punches faster than Cattaras, his were certainly hitting with a lot more force!

"That all you got?!" Cattaras taunted the two, who just responded with animalistic grunts, struggling to keep up with the hard hitter. Cattaras wasn't just hitting a lot harder; he was much more sturdy than even though toughest of the Trinity members.

He was starting to get the edge on the Trinity members, forgetting about the other Muri-dan present in the fight- that is, until one of them snuck up and used his tail-blade to slash Cattarsas's back, making "Catboy" howl in pain.

Nearby, Mary realized she was in trouble. The next swing of Ratsworth's trademark jewel encrusted walking stick caught her on the side of her thigh. Her entire left leg went numb as she stumbled forward, resting on the smaller Ratsworth to hold herself up. He went to push her back when she suddenly reared her head backwards and smashed it forward, catching Ratsworth's cute button nose with a painful headbutt that sent the Baron stumbling backwards, momentarily stunned.

Mary thought about calling Catman for help but he was embroiled in a battle of his own; she heard him roaring in pain but couldn't spare a glance to see why. So Mary had no recourse but to call out to Bob. "Bob!! I could use a little help over here! I can't get this joker off me alone."

Bob, still holding his ghost pickle on a stick meekly to his side, appeared to be so transfixed with the superspeed fight that he didn't hear Mary's call for help.

By Binajane (the Catman section by Dash)

----------------------------

After Icy finished eating and Bristle had finished telling her what had been going on at the force field, Icy looked at him and said, "I'm really worried about Sassy. Can we get back there now?"

"Sure, Icy, but what about Pete? What do we do with her?" replied Bristle looking at Pete, who was sitting quietly at the table writing and drawing in her tablet with all her pencils laid out around her. Hearing them talking about the force field her ears perked up and she immediately turned her attention to them.

"Are you going to my mommy, Icy? Can I go too? PLEASE, I wanna see my mommy!" begged Pete as she started crying.

Icy rushed to Pete and put her arms around her. "We'll take you along but you've got to promise us that you'll stay back and not run off. We need to find out what's going on there and get your mommy back to you. Can you promise me that you'll listen?" Icy asked while wiping Pete's tears away.

"I cross my heart and promise with all my might that I'll be a good girl for you. Just please take me with you and find my mommy." Pete replied by crossing her heart and hugging Icy.

"Okay, Bristle," said Icy, taking Pete by the hand. "Let's go check on Sassy and help rescue Pete's mommy. They've been separated too long." With that said, Pete grabbed her pencils and tablet. They headed back to the force field with Pete happily skipping along between Icy and Bristle.

When they arrived at the force field, Icy told Pete, "I want you to come to this big tree if we get into any trouble or if we find it's too dangerous for you to be at the barrier. You will be able to see everything from here. Do you understand? Just stay close to me while you are at the force field and don't touch anything. Please."

"Okay, I understand and promise to be good," said Pete.

The three of them walked up to the force field and found Sassy and crew. Icy and Bristle hugged Sassy and told her about the safe spot they told Pete to go to in case of danger.

By Binajane

----------------------------

The barrier surrounding the mansion glowed with malicious intent. As often noted, it had covered not just the mansion itself, but several nearby buildings.

The giant from the skies sat in the hallway, currently shrunken to a portion of his original size and still too large to fit into any of the rooms. The mansion had been altered to fit the giant's frames, stretching upwards now to the rooftop, giving the giant just enough room to sit until needed, lacking both comfort and patience. So he sat in the hallway, enduring a small (by his standards) book of inspired poetry, stolen from his gothic brethren, whist he didith reminisce over the gone-by days of yon renaissance.

Sets of balconies for the first and second floors sat to either side of the giant; one door glowed with an immense power. The giant peeked over his book, noting with disinterest as two rat like thugs shoved a large white beast through the door. The giants knew of these beasts. What were they called? Yuppies? Jeti? Anyway, this one had wings and looked bigger than expected, though honestly the Renaissance giant had nothing to give it fair comparison to.

The beast shrieked and screamed once it realized it was indoors, throwing it's guards aside. As it did, the mysterious glowing door was thrown open. A robed figure emerged, with a decrepit, ancient corpse of a body underneath it. "Calm the beast!"

The two large rats were joined by more rats - but some of them to be as much man as rat, whereas others were simply large rats, some of which sort of stood awkwardly on two feet at times. That only infuriated the large winged yeti, who threw them away in a fit of rage. He turned towards the giant, and yelled out something that sounded like "Groar!"

A couple more of those human-like rats rushed to grab the yeti right as the beast threw his wings open, sending them backwards. He soared up towards the decrepit robed figure of Lord Spookyraven. Sparing only a disinterested sigh, Renaissance Giant allowed himself to grow a fraction. As he did, he grabbed the yeti with one hand, pinning it down against the floor. The Giant kept the book of low quality poetry in his other hand, not even having to break off from reading it. "Verily, thou struggles are in vainith. Forith I've trapped you, yon beast.. as.... OWWWWW OUCH'ith!!!"

The giant pulled away his rapidly freezing hand from the yeti, who'd quickly dropped the temperature around him in response to being pinned to the ground. The giant yelped in pain while the yeti flew past him. Lord Spookyraven barely seemed concerned at the terrifying specter of a winged yeti barreling down on him; he threw up a shield made of pure terror and ice. Groar bounced off of it but quickly recovered and started beating relentlessly on the force field, wings beating violently.

As Lord Spookyraven focused on keeping his force field up, he also motioned to a nearby closed door, which flew open. A few moments later, a rather large figure ducked and walked through the door frame. Well, tall by most definitions of "tall" anyway, but the guy who walked through, with the dull black flannel shirt on and special pants that looked like they could take quite a beating. Well, this guy looked about six foot four inches, maybe a good six and a half feet tall. But this guy was clearly a dwarf, and even saps or pansies knew that the dwarves stood about seven feet tall on average. (And rumor had it, that was just the teenage girls!)

This short-for-a-dwarf dwarf glared at the interruption as he stumbled out. As soon as the winged yeti caught sight of him, he flew up and landed right before him with a mammoth yell. To the untrained eye, it might have looked like the winged yeti was about to attack. But suddenly, he kneeled over, drooping his head low enough for the dwarf to scratch his ear. "Hey, Groar, calm down before I get pissed off. We don't need you whoopin and hollorin' in front of our new friends now!"

by Dash

-------------------------------

Warning: Mild language

Mary Kate stared down her foe, Baron Von Ratsworth. She'd momentarily stunned him with a headbutt but he was proving to be tougher than anticipated. Bob didn't seem to hear Mary's call for help, but Mary figured she had this fight well in hand anyway. She advanced on her enemy, picked up his walking stick as she advanced and with a wicked smile on her face she started flailing him the way he had her. "How does that feel you worthless sack of shit? Does it hurt yet because I'm really enjoying this you piece of scum." Mary seethed with anger and every blow she landed gave her a small bit of relief.

It only lasted until Ratsworth used his tail in a different way, this time snatching his cane back from her with his versatile tail. "I say," he proclaimed quite disdainfully, "you're quite the velociraptor, yes, quite so and indeed." Using his tail to hold it, he poked her roughly in the gut. "The devil take you and your wicked ways, woman. As it were, of course. Now prepare yourself for a thrashing of the most cerebral sorts! Hah, quite so!"

Mary moaned as she held her midsection. Ratsworth calmly used his tail to hand himself his bejeweled walking stick, which he then dusted off idly with his paws while whipping Mary with his tail. Long and sharp, it worked surprisingly well as a whip.

Mary felt the sting of his sharp tail and after a few blows she grabbed his tail and started beating him with it. She was so busy trying to turn the tables on Ratsworth that she didn't notice his minions coming to his rescue until one of them grabbed her arm holding the tail. "Let go of me you piece of filth," she yelled as she struggled to get free of the newest threat. Even tho she found herself totally outnumbered, she continued to fight. She kicked and scratched and hit anything and everything that moved. She even got in a bite or two and said, as she was spitting the taste out of her mouth. "Ewww… You taste worse than a sock left in a gym bag too long."

"Hold her, minions," von Ratsworth ordered, mumbling after, "As it were, quite so. Tsk, such a foul mouthed cretin. You are a tough little nut, missy, but it would seem you failed to bring minions to the fight, as it were. Tsk, quite so, quite."

As Ratsworth stood erect (heh) on his hind legs, adjusting his jewel encrusted cufflinks, he started to backhand her just as she kicked him in his jewels, taking him to his knees. Before he had a chance to recover she pulled away from the rats holding her and slammed one to the ground while she pushed the other into bigger rats behind him. She tried to escape but the bigger rats were moving in on her too fast and she had to be careful not to trip over the smaller rats (and some of those were pretty big by rat standards). She had to think of something quick, so she turned to her only unoccupied ally at the moment.

"Bob, if you can spare the time for your daydream do you think you could give me a hand…..and I am not talking about clapping for me, either."

Bob stopped clapping meekly. "Ohh, sure no problem. I could dance."

Bob started kick dancing like a Honorburgette high kicker, surprising Shelldor and his other familiars with his dexterity and making Shelldor wish he could still facepalm.

"Or maybe a nice rhyming cheer?" Bob paused to think. "'She's so scary, that we call her..' Hmm... what could we call you that rhymes with 'scary'? Let me think on. . ."

"BOB! Get your ass over here! I need help and I need it NOW!"

Bob muttered a "Y-yes ma-ma'am," but didn't quite seem sure of what to do next.

Without waiting, Shelldor started towards the battle, unsure of how much damage he could do (being a turtle and all) but unwilling to sit on the sideline anymore. Shocked into action. Taking his cue from his turtle, Bob ordered his familiars to help out Mary, who let out a loud yell as a large rat snapped at her leg.

by Binajane and Dash

----------------------------

Sassy looked and Icy and Bristle and asked, "What are you two doing back so soon?"

Bristle was the first to speak up. "Well after Icy and Pete finished eating their dessert and I told Icy what was happening here, she got worried about you and the crew. She. . ."

Icy broke in and said, "I insisted on coming back here and checking on you and Pete wanted to see her mommy. So we here we are."

Sassy smiled at the thought of their concern, hugged them both and looked at Pete saying, "We are trying to get to you mommy and count on you to stay as safe as possible while we are busy."

Pete nodded, took out her pencil and paper and walked a safe distance away, sat down and started drawing.

With Pete out of the way, Sassy and crew start discussing the task at hand and how they were going to approach the problems with the force field.

"I think we can rule out physical force," Bristle decided aloud.

"True," Sassy responded. "We already tried that and all I got for it were skinned knuckles. Besides, Hardwire sounds like he can deal with that. But to be honest, do we really want to deal with this problem at all?"

"I agree with Sassy that Hardwire can deal with this problem. I don't want to deal with this problem but I keep thinking about what Sassy said to that fisherman about a 'mindbender'. That makes me scared like the stories I heard long ago about 'shapeshifters and tricksters'. They hurt people and I don't like them," said Icy as a shiver ran up her spine.

Bristle looked at Sassy and Icy and said, "Shouldn't we stay here and deal with this? We can't go away and leave Gem alone. What if she gets hurt? Who'd help her?"

"Well," Sassy answered as she thought it over. "Gem did volunteer to go of her own accord. And we've already got Pete here to watch over. Should we really take her somewhere that's so dangerous when she is our responsibility?"

Bristle was taken aback by that comment and replied, "I wasn't suggesting putting Pete in danger, anymore than I was suggesting abandoning Gem. We sort of owe Pete and Gem an obligation to see this thru since we were the ones to start investigating this mess in the first place. If we hadn't come here and found Pete, we would not be having this conversation."

Linger chimed in, "Linger watch over little girl and Gem. Linger let nothing happen to them. Linger good protector."

"Besides," Icy chimed in. "What would it hurt to explore and check up on Hardwire? If it's too dangerous, we can always . . ."

Pete suddenly rushed up with a terrified look on her face and sobbing, "Sassy! Icy! Something is wrong with the ground! It's crying out in pain! It's yelling at me to help it!" Pete was holding her tablet in her hands and Sassy could see the picture Pete had drawn. The picture showed a battlefield with bodies lying around in various stages of dismemberment and decapitation.

Sassy and her crew all looked at each other suddenly and at the same time all four said, "What in Hey Daze is going on? Do you see that?"

All four of them appeared to be having a shared vision of weird, grotesquely shaped, bodies laid out on the ground and a shimmering wave hovered over the whole of Seaside Town. It looked like armageddon had arrived and all of humanity had been wiped out. In the vision, the form of a woman could be seen; an evil sounding cackling laugh echoed all around her. The vision vanished and left all four visibly shaken and speechless for a short time.

By Binajane and Dash

----------------------------

At the same moment, far, far away, Catrina was running down a corridor looking for a way out of her current jam. The current escape attempt had so far gone worse- and better than the one before. Worse because, knowing her tricks from her first escape they had sent more to compensate. Better, because without anyone to tell her "No," Catrina had been able to get some very satisfying kills!

But the sheer numbers of enemy that pursued her meant that the naked lioness was soon running on fumes; she ducked into a room in order to slump against a wall for a much needed breather, unaware of the opening portal nearby.

When Aleena's vision refocused, it took her a few moments to process what she saw - a naked cat girl. She was grateful to be finally away from Jester King's stench - being forced to march behind him for hours was a torment she wasn't ready for. During the journey Black Paladin had gradually altered her cysuit to a form closer to his preferences, and now, he controlled her sneaking towards the unaware Catrina. Aleena managed a muffled scream into the gag to try to alert the woman, but it spurred Black Paladin towards hasty action. He opened with a punch aimed square for the side of Catrina's head.

Before his strike Catrina's ear flicked and she dodged with cat-like reflexes, turning to face her new foe- eyes widening as she realized the livery.

She stared him down, knowing that without her katana she wasn't going to be able to open this tin can. As she took the time to see, however, she noticed little things that seemed … well, wrong with the Paladin's armor. It appeared thinner and more agile than normal.

"New tailor?" she smirked, after the silence became too much to bear, and her imagination started to hear muffled cries. Despite appearances, Black Paladin still fought like a lumbering brute. Catrina could easily dodge his blows, then plant a paw into his rump and shove hard trying to unbalance him.

His grunts were oddly high pitched, though…

By Catrina and Aleena

 


There we have it! Paladin finally springs his trap on Aleena, showing abilities we hadn't seen from him yet. What a dangerous foe, huh?

Part 3 is the big part though - it's about as big as the first two parts combined, so read on! (Note: It's got the action!)

 
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 Kingdom of Loathing (KOL) is an original parody RPG online game that apparently has something to do with Asymmetric Publications, LLC, and something called a Jick, who's copyrighted and trademarked the. THIS (Adventures in Loathing) is the archive for an interactive writing game based on KOL, and a specific clan within- the Kingdom of KOL. Specific characters belong to their specific owners, specifically, unless specifically stated otherwise. This game was developed by Joshua A. Dexter, with rules based in part on (with permission) Mercenary and Equinox. This is a non profit game done for entertainment purposes only. If a rash develops on your imagination, desist use immediately and consult a physician, psychologist, or 1-900 psychic for further assistance. KOL forums, store,  the KOL TVTrope,   entry at AnswersKOL's entry at Archive.org, and it's entry at Wikipedia, and KOL's own wiki. - JAD

In other words, I don't own KOL, or KOKOL, and KOKOL doesn't own KOL.

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