Shamus's second. Let's see how he gets by without having Inu by his side for a while...

Also, Inu is just flat out awesome, huh?

Shamus opened his eyes, slowly, he was in his tent. How’d he get here? He remembered some bugbears, something about hobos, and some guy selling pills. Oh, the pills. He rose from his sleeping bag, groggily, and left his tent. He saw Inuya, sitting on a stump, with a monocle, sipping tea.

“Woah,” Shamus began “where’d you get the monocle, and tea?”

Inuy gave him a confused look, before saying “It’s a good thing that meat car isn’t ready, yet; you’re in no condition to drive.”

“I can drive, isn’t that right fluffy teddy bear demon?” Shamus turned to stare at a tree, as if expecting it to answer. “Don’t take that tone with me!” He lashed at it.

“Riiight.” Inuy reached into her bag. How did she do that, without spilling her tea? Trippy. “Well, I got you these herbs, from that Doc Galaktik guy. He said: they’d take care of your, uh, craziness.”

“Thanks, talking Rudolf statue!” Shamus said, as he grabbed the herbs from Inuy, and put them into his mouth. He gagged, and began coughing blood, before falling on his back. After a few minutes, he stopped coughing; presumably because he was out of blood.

He turned to see Inuya, now looking mortified at what had just happened. Well, at least her monocle is gone. He thought.

He groaned, as he got back up. “Y- You said that stuff would help.”

“Well, it kind of did. You’re no longer seeing things; you’re just in searing pain.” Inuya picked a list, out from her bag. “Oh, we need some rims. Then, we can complete our meat car, for the competition.”

“Sure, I don’t have anything better to do than get some stupi-“

“Great. I’m going to stay here, and work on the meat car.” Inuya said, as she picked up a wrench, with her tiny arms.

A nervous look appeared on Shamus’s face. After a few minutes of him standing there, Inuya turned, and said “Why are you still here!?”

“I, uh, kinda need a familiar. I’m not that good solo.”

Inuya shrugged, obviously not caring. “Go get one of your others. They’ll probably be glad to get out of that terrarium you use; unless, they’ve died of starvation.”

“Fine, I don’t need you! I’ll go get one of my other familiars! At least they like me!” Shamus yelled, as he stormed off to his terrarium.

“Have fun!” She called after him, with a grin on her face.

Shamus reached his terrarium, and opened it. “Hey, buddies-” Shamus began, before a grue leaped on his face. “Arggghhh! Get off you little-” The grue began biting his face. “Ahhhhrg! That doesn’t feel good! In fact: It feels BAD!”

“Sweet freedom!” The grue squeaked “You’re a monster! Monsters need to die!” The grue began scratching his eyes out.

Shamus managed to get ahold of the little demon. “You’re one to talk!” He yelled, as he threw the familiar into his barb-wire fence. There was a slight squeal, followed by silence. He grabbed one his swords he had lying around, and poked it; the grue wasn’t going to wake up, for awhile…Or, like, ever; because it was dead.

“Well, that’s one less familiar.” He said, as he began heading back towards his terrarium. “PETA should really ban people like me from owning pets.”

He looked inside his terrarium; Inuy was right, most of them appeared to no longer be among the living, presumably from starvation. He had no idea how the grue survived, unless… He shook his head; he had better things to do than wonder: ‘’Who ate who?‘’ He saw the only familiar that appeared to still be alive: his Bulky Buddy Box, or: “Useless” as he liked to call it.

He sighed. “Guess it’s just you, and me buddy.” He picked up Useless, and put him in a bag. He picked up his helmet, and turned to get his equipment- Before a thought, almost sub-consciously, went into his mind: Don’t take any more equipment; take only your sword, and helmet. You’re more likely to get killed.

“Hmm, I don’t think I’ll take any equipment. Maybe I’ll get some foo-” No food, either. The cake’s a lie. “No food either. I also hate cake, for some reason.” Shamus left his campsite, carrying only a sword, his helmet, and a useless box.

Shamus entered seaside town, and began heading towards the market. “Maybe, one of the shop owners will have some rims.” Shamus thought aloud. “I’d better start with-” The bugbears. They’ll probably hurt you. “I have the urge to try the bugbears- But, I already did that.” Do it, again. They’ll be angrier.

Shamus seemed to ponder, for a second, before heading to the bugbear bakery. Right before he entered the shop, he stopped; when he saw something shiny in the Market Demon’s tent. “Ohhhh, shiny. Maybe it’s rims.” He started heading towards the Demon’s tent. What? Shiny? Are you a complete moron?

As Shamus entered the tent, the Market Demon turned from what he was doing. “Hey. I’m the Market Demo-” The demon began, before being interrupted by Shamus “Hi! I noticed you had something shiny, is it rims?” No wonder I never come with you; you’re an idiot.

“No, I only get a couple of those, the last one was bought b-“

“Shut up, voice inside my head! I have a feeling: you’re telling me to do bad things!” Shamus yelled at himself.

The demon looked confused. “Alllright, then. Can I interest you in an E-Z cook oven? It’s only 1000 mea-“

“What I did with that puppy is no concern of yours.”

“Are you going to buy anything, or just waste my tim-” The demon started to ask, visibly annoyed.

“You have no right to say that about my mother!”

“Dude, are you insane-“

Shamus laughed. “W- Wait, tell me the one about the Irish man, again.”

“Hey!” The demon screamed. Shamus turned, from his conversation with himself. “I don’t have rims, but I have some gum on a string. You take one of these, get a trinket from the sewer, buy a permit from me, and you can go get some from that Hermit dude, who lives in the big mountains. But, you have to promise to never come back in my tent, again.” The demon angrily said.

“I’m sorry, I only got parts of that; could you repea-” The Demon took Shamus’s wallet, and shoved some gum, and permits into his hands, before screaming “Get out! I have better things to do!” The Demon started pushing Shamus out.

“Ow! Stop it. That hurts. I’ll be your friend.” Shamus protested, before he was thrown out of the tent, on his back. “Fine! See if I ever shop here again!” He screamed at the Demon, who had gone back to what he was doing, before.

 Shamus examined his new chewing gums on strings he had unwillingly spent all his money on. “Well, I guess I’m going to fish for items, in a sewer.” Or, you could let the Bulky Buddy box free, and go LIVE in the sewer, forever.

“Shut up, I’m not listening to you, anymore, stupid voice in my head.” Shamus said, as he arrived at the sewer grate. “Well, let’s see if I can get one of these trinket things.” Living there is still an option. “I said: Shut up.” Shamus picked up one his pieces of gum, and lowered it into the sewer.

Shamus felt the gum sticking to something, and brought it back up. He examined his new prize. “Oh, a box of spices, from the sewer. Delightful.” Shamus put his box of spices to the side, and lowered his gum again. After a while of shifting it around, he caught something, and brought it to the surface. “What in Jick’s name is this?” Shamus said, as he looked at his new item.

It looked kind of like a little black ball, with a cross on top, and a tiny string to the side. “Is this the trinket the Demon was talking about?” No, you should throw it in the sewer. And give the Bulky Buddy Box your meat. ”Yes, I should give it my meat. And, throw the Bulky Buddy Box into the sewer.” Shamus said, getting the box out of his bag.

What? You moron, I said give me your meat.

“I’m not throwing my meat into the sewer!” Shamus yelled, as he got ready to throw his familiar into the sewer.

You know what’s fun? Not throwing the Bulky Buddy Box into the-

Shamus threw his box into the sewer, watching as the current swept it away.

“Well, what now, voice?” Shamus asked. “...Voice?” Shamus gave it a minute, before realizing it wasn’t coming back. “Aww, I miss the voice.” He said, as he picked up his things, and left for the Big Mountains.

 
Shamus arrived at the Big Mountains, he checked the area for life, with his thermal scanner, and picked up a small reading, from the east. “Aha.” Shamus began “There you are, hermit guy.” Shamus began heading towards the area. He never liked the Big Mountains; it was too cold for his tastes. He looked around, as he walked; the Mountains were shining a nice colour, as they reflected the light from the sun.

He arrived at the base of the building; there were stairs leading up to a large oval, cut into the rocks. “That must be the door…Who am I talking to?” He walked up the staircase, pausing a moment at the door, before opening it. He was in a large, circular, room, with a few lit candles, and a large rug filled with junk.

There was a small, old, man in the back of the room. He must have been in his eighties by now, judging by his beard, and white hair. Or, he had seen a lot of horror movies. The old man turned to Shamus, and headed towards him.

“Hi! I’m Shamus Xtreme, I was wondering if you’d like to trade!” Shamus exclaimed. The Hermit seemed to ignore him, and began rummaging through his bag. “Uhhh, what’re you doing?” The Hermit continued to ignore him, and grabbed his trinket. His eyes seemed to glow at the site of this, and he beckoned Shamus to the large rug.

“Sure, don’t answer me.” Shamus said, as he walked to the edge of the rug. “Okay, you want to trade, then?”

He surveyed the contents of the rug; there was a bottle of ketchup, and catsup, for some odd reason. There were also some wooden figures, a chisel, a seal tooth, some other junk he didn’t care about, and some sweet rims. “Oooooo.” Shamus pointed to the rims. “I’ll take those!”

The Hermit quickly handed him the rims, and looked through his bag, again. He seemed disappointed that Shamus didn’t have anymore trinkets, and led him to the door. “Thanks, creepy Hermit dude!” The Hermit ignored him, went back to the back of his cave, and put the trinket into a large pile of others, just like it.

“That guy needs some hobbies.” Shamus said, as he walked down the stairs. He saw something in the distance, coming towards him. He zoomed in with his helmet; it was a meat car. Within a few short moments, it pulled up next to him. Shamus saw who the driver was. “Inuy!? How’d you get here?”

“Through the meat car. Duh.” She said, smiling.

“I thought you needed some rims before you could finish it!?”

“Yeah, I bought some a while back, form the Market Demon. I didn’t think you’d be able to get any.” Inuya turned to get something in her bag, not noticing the anger in Shamus’s eyes. “I got these directions for the contest, you ready to go?”

Shamus looked furious. “As a matter of fact, I did get some rims. I spent a day of my life getting these rims. I had crazy voices in my head to get these rims. I killed a grue to get these rims!”

“Ouch, you have poor planning, ready to go?”

 
After a while of Shamus screaming, crying, and lighting his rims on fire; he, and Inu, heard a feminine voice from behind say "Arigato, Hermit!” Shamus turned around, and saw whose it was: He saw a short foreign girl walking down the stairs. She had long, black hair, and brown eyes. She was dressed in a pair of camo pants, a pair of spiked boots, a T-shirt, was carrying a pink bag, and had a chest plate shaped like a heart.

“Oh, LORD no!” She exclaimed when she saw Shamus.

“Hey! Long to no see!” He exclaimed in a happy tone, when he realized who it was. His tone changed, when he was kneed in the stomach. “Argh! What was that for?” She kneed him again.

“You’re supposed to be dead!” She screamed, as she kicked him in the shin.

“Ow! What are you talking about!?” He yelled, as he was kicked again. He suddenly realized what she was talking about. “Ohhhhh, the whole: you pushing me into the ocean thing. Forgot about that.”

“Wait, who is this?” Inuya asked, confused, as Shamus stood up straight.

“This is my old girlfriend, Mimi Fujioka; we totally had a thing going awhile ago-” This comment seemed to infuriate her, as she kneed him in the crotch. “Arghhh, that was unnecessary!” Shamus winced.

“No! We used to be partners; before you stole my bounty!”

“Why didn’t you mention her, before?” Inuya asked.

Shamus shrugged, before he was punched between the eyes. “Owww, you’re so cute when you’re mad.” She punched him again, causing him to fall flat on his back.

“Chikan! I’m going to kill you!” She said, as she got on op of him.

“I’m sorry; I really have no idea which bounty you’re talking abo-” She suddenly started choking him.

“Uso Baka Una! You remember! The last bounty we tried to catch together, the one where I got shot in the back by your crossbow bolt!” She let go of his neck, and got ready to beat him.

Shamus gasped, before pleading, “That wasn’t me! That was Larry!”

She stopped her arm in the middle of its swing, a look of surprise on her face. “Larry?”

He nodded his head.

“Then, why was it a bolt from your bow?” She asked, not believing the words he said.

“Well, he may have beaten me up half to death, and taken it. I was gonna tell you why I suddenly vanished in the middle of our mission, but you sort of tried to kill me before I could.”

“Wow, now I feel kind of bad about the whole 'Pushing you off a cliff, into the ocean' thing.” She said as she got off of Shamus. “I even took classes on how to kill your arch-nemesis.”

Shamus managed to stand up, and dusted himself off. Inuya started chuckling. “Well, do you know where Larry is? I need to get revenge on someone.” Mimi asked.

“To get my crossbow back; I lit him on fire, and pushed him down some stairs.”

“Seriously? Wow, that just sucks.” She picked up the bag she had dropped, when she tried to kill him. “Well, uh, you wanna get a smoothie, or something?” She asked, looking embarrassed.

“I have a contest to win, right now. Maybe we can some other time, when my trachea doesn’t feel so sore.” He hopped into his the passenger seat of his new car, asked if he could drive, and then pouted when Inuy said no.

“I’m, um, going to leave now.” She said, blushing. “Sayonara.” She smiled. “Bakayaro.”

Shamus watched her walk off. “She wants me.”

“I think she swore at you.” Inuya said.

“No, that was definitely a compliment.”

“Uh-huh, I’m sure it was.” Inu said, as she started the engine.

“Yeah, I’m a people person.”

Shamus and Inuya started to drive away, towards the meat car competition. Which, they hoped, they would win.  

Meanwhile, we're only just getting close to the half way point of the roleplays! After the next six roleplays- the The Guacanator's debating pair, two Becky Joy roleplays, and a couple Sebastian Dash/ Katherine Swift pairings- we'll finish up the Catrina Whiteclaw/ Vixen fight in a piece that also debuts Todd Blackpaws and Lapine!