Created at   Cool Text: Logo and Graphics Generator   by Binajane (handler: Mary Kate O'Toole)

Previous / Main / Next


A chitchat with a Fat Rat
Mission:  Rats, Bats and other types of Vermin

Posted by Sassy Snake
Original roleplay

We're back with some more Sassy Snake!

Who is the talking rat they saw in the last piece and what does he want from Camp Sassy? We'll find out.. or should I say, "Camp Viper?"


 
I usher our visitor into our camp and by the firelight, all I can see is Mole and Gem. For some reason, Gem seems to be cringing, almost like she is trying to hide in the shadows. I can't see Linger; however, I know he is here somewhere too.

"Wot's this then?" asks our rat. "A scout trip? All I sees is two kids and a lady."

"All I see is a man with the manners of a rat," counters Mole.

"All I see is a rat who walks and talks like a man," says the quiet voice of Gem.

"All I see," comes a deep rumble from behind the rat, "is a rat who I can squash." Linger had snuck up behind the rat. "Should I squash 'em?"

"Hey, wo'ch that club. I comes unarmed to your camp just to talk and gets insulted and this oaf behind me threatens to squash me. What kind of deal is this then?"

"What kind of deal was it when you and your rats raided the Seaside town market and killed Grelva?" I ask, barely keeping anger out of my voice.

"We didn't do that, missus. My rats and I, we neber did that."

"And we should just believe the word of a rat, right?" pipes up Mole.

"Look," he says, "I ain't got no weapons. If I done wot yus thinks I done, why would I walk into this camp and takes the risk of getting hurt or killed?"

"Maybe to find out how strong we are so you can plan a better attack on us?" I ask. "Mole asks a good question; why should we trust you?"

"I came to talk to your leader. So which of you's is the leader then?"

Mole takes two tentative steps forward and looks the rat in his beady eyes. "That would be me. What do you want here?"

"You? You are the leader? You are the shortest of them all." He stops when Mole brandishes his slasher under the rat's nose. "Okay then, I meant no offense, sir," he says as he cringes away from Mole.

The rat seems to rethink and then he says, "This isn't goin' the way I thought it would go. Let's try this. My name is Count von Ratsoni, one of Baron Von Ratsworth's cousins. My friends call me Ratso."

"You have friends?" murmurs Gem, still hiding in the corner by the firelight.

"A few. I don't like the way that things are going. The rats are being blamed for a lot of things, some we have done but most we haven't. I wanted to talk to your leader and maybe take him to see the baron so we could work something out so that the Rat King wouldn't be givin' us a bad name. By the way, who are yus guys anyway?"

"I'm Mole, the leader of this little party. The oaf who wants to squash you is called Bruiser."

"Me still wants to squash 'em."

"The lady here what brought you into this camp is Viper and this other girl is called Jewel. That's all of us."

"You don't have others?" asks Ratso looking all over. "Thought you might have a couple of more hiding in the brush. Why are you here anyway?"

"We came to find the rats who raided Seaside Town," says Mole. "We came here because we were being chased by you and your rats."

"Not all of the rats you saw were mine. I would say that most of them belonged to the Rat King. I only got about sixty or so."

"That's probably a lie too," Gem mumbles to herself, but Ratso hears her and turns in her direction. His face lights up with a smile as if he knows or recognizes her.

"What did you say, Jewel? Was that her name? She is a real Gem, she is."

Gem stiffens and utters a short cut-off whimper. The rat turns from her and faces Mole again.

"Well," he says, "since you say you are the leader, would you consider coming with me to meet the baron? Of course, you would have to go unarmed with no weapons, the way I came to yus. T'is a mark of honor and respect."

Mole seems to think about it and says that he wants to talk with us for a few minutes alone; Ratso leaves the camp and goes out of earshot.

"Why you not let me squash em?" asks Linger. "Why is Mole leader now and why dese other names?"

"The names were to hide our identity, but I am not sure that it worked. I told them I was the leader to protect Sassy. It was obvious what he wanted as soon as he entered the camp."

"Dragon," I say. Bris and Icy join us.

"I don't like it, not one little bit," says Bristle. "It's got to be a trap. Have any of you ever heard of this Count van Ratsoni before?"

We all shake our heads, all except for Gem.

Icy goes over to Gem. "You did know him, didn't you? And he knew you. Can we trust him?"

Gem looks on the verge of tears but says, "If you can trust a rat, you can trust him. I mean, Ratso isn't above a double cross, but you can trust him. Just sleep with your weapon in your hand."

"I am not sure of what we should do now," I confess. "He didn't say he wouldn't attack us. He does know how many we are, so there is no use trying to fool him with that."

"I think that our best chance of surviving this is for me to go with him to talk to the Baron," says Mole. "Maybe I could at the very least get them to lay off of raiding Seaside Town markets. If that doesn't work, maybe they can help us against the Rat King. I feel I should do this."

"I don't like it and I think it is a trap, but I won't try to stop you if you feel that strongly about it." I say. "Let's at least set up a time to meet. Perhaps a couple of days from now at the Typical Tavern. At least that way we can know that you are alright. If you can't come yourself, send someone and tell Bart Ender the word 'snake' and we will keep checking until we hear from you."

"Me tink dat a good idea'y. Dat smahrt, Sassy."

"Okay," says Mole, "I'll see you guys at the Tavern three days from now. The word is snake."

With this, Mole marches from the camp into the night to meet Ratso and goes to see the Baron, leaving his slasher by the fire.

Linger picks it up. "Me keep dis fer him. Me gib it back to him when I see him at tavern."

We can't all help wondering if Mole has made the right decision and, of all of us, Gem is the one who looks the most worried. We can hear her murmuring to herself, "Rat King. King. Rat. Rat King. Hmm, I wonder. Yes, it could be like that."

We settle back to our camp to wait for morning. A bit later, Gem says she needs to be alone in the bushes and she leaves the camp. When she doesn't come back for a while, I send Icy out to check on her. A breathless Icy brings back some paper.

"What do you have, Icy? Where is Gem?"

"Don't know where Gem is. All I found out there was this paper. I think you had better read this, Sassy."

The paper reads, "I am sorry for leaving you so abruptly, but it just occurred to me who might have been behind the Seaside market raid. Please forgive me, but I had to act on this information before he got away. I hope to see you soon. Until then, keep safe. Gem."

"Oh, this is just great," I say, "First we lose Mole and then Gem skips out on us. In the morning, we should try to follow her and hope she doesn't get into trouble before then."

We spend a restless night and watch the sun slowly rise in the sky. After we have eaten in the morning, we have a talk about what all has happened and what might happen soon.

 


Commenting on this piece, Ichiro, our voter, repeats a familiar complement of Sassy's pieces, saying "various NPCs have so much color to them."

And the group gets split up too! There is a lot going on in Sassy's run on this story, just like last time, but it's handled pretty well in her stories. Plus we got our first look at Ratso. It's nice to see new NPC's coming in AIL. Helps keep things and stories fresh, after all.

Mole seems like a pretty clever character here, too. So does Ratso, in a more devious way.

 
Previous / Main / Next

 Kingdom of Loathing (KOL) is an original parody RPG online game that apparently has something to do with Asymmetric Publications, LLC, and something called a Jick, who's copyrighted and trademarked the. THIS (Adventures in Loathing) is the archive for an interactive writing game based on KOL, and a specific clan within- the Kingdom of KOL. Specific characters belong to their specific owners, specifically, unless specifically stated otherwise. This game was developed by Joshua A. Dexter, with rules based in part on (with permission) Mercenary and Equinox. This is a non profit game done for entertainment purposes only. If a rash develops on your imagination, desist use immediately and consult a physician, psychologist, or 1-900 psychic for further assistance. KOL forums, store,  the KOL TVTrope,   entry at AnswersKOL's entry at Archive.org, and it's entry at Wikipedia, and KOL's own wiki. - JAD

In other words, I don't own KOL, or KOKOL, and KOKOL doesn't own KOL.

Index/ spoilers/ Adventures in Loathing forum

2007 Ultimate KOL Spoiler page!