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"What's Pong With Him"
Mission:  Mansion's Maniac Mysteries
subtitle: Sassy Snake Story

Posted by Mary Kate
Original roleplay

Sassy made her return after a brief absense in AIL during 10 Scenarios on the trail end of Season 2 and ever since, has been one of the first three posts on every mission after - as of this mission, anyway.

So it's cool to see her starting this mission as she has others in the past.


 
Shortly after the attack on the Tavern, I pick myself off of the floor. Nothing is broken (don't ask me how or why), just some minor bruises. I look around for the others. Linger seems to have fared not so well, seeing as how the rats went after him, while Icy seems to have escaped it in good condition. Together we help Linger to his feet.

"Jeez, you look terrible," Icy tells him. I inform her quietly that she shouldn't say that to a patient.

"But me not verra patient." Linger says, "Less go squash 'em!" I put a hand on his shoulder.

"I think it's best if we rest for a bit and think this out."

"Anyone want any drinks?" Bart asks and we agree that a few drinks might help us.

We settle back at our table and have some drinks while we talk.

"Did any of you hear Mole say the word I gave him, 'dragon'?"

Icy and Linger shake their heads. "Him not say nuthin."

"I think you are right Linger," Icy says, "didn't notice him saying a word and he didn't seem to recognize us at all."

"Or he was trying to be cagey. I wonder what they'll do to him."

"Dat Ratso call him a liar," Linger says. "Dat naught be so good for him when they ketch'em."

"Have any of you seen Bristle?" Icy asks. "Shouldn't he have been here by now?"

"Yes," I say, "that's strange. Wonder where he is. Should we go looking for him or try to find Mole and Ratso?"

"I may be biased here, but I vote for finding Bristle," Icy says with a cute smile.

"Me too," agrees Linger.

"I agree with you both. Let's head toward Seaside Town and see if we can pick up his trail."

"What about Mole?" asks Icy.

"Uh, why don't you let us find him?" We look up to see the two sailors and also a very reluctant Bob. "We owe Ratso for that fight. We'll find Mole and bring him to Seaside Town."

"What? Me too?" asks a petrified Bob.

"Yes, you too," says Omar as he hustles Bob and his familiars out of the tavern. We finish our drinks, pay for them and set off for Seaside Town.

About halfway there, still traversing through the forests, we come upon a strange sight. A terrified man is running in circles. He seems to be saying "They're after me! They're after me! Run! Run!"

"Wot's his problem?" asks Linger. "Is him crazy?"

I walk up to him and run alongside him. "Hey, excuse me, but there's no one chasing you. Maybe you should slow down now."

"Uh, no, can't. Got to keep running or they'll get me!" He puts on a burst of speed and speeds away and runs in circles and is soon back where he started.

"Do either of you see anyone following him?" I ask them and they shake their heads no. I reach my belt and pull out my flute. I begin to play a soft lilting lullaby. The man seems to jerk to a slow stop and look around.

"Out there. They're still out there. I shouldn't stop."

"Wait," I say. "We're here and we can protect you. Here, just sit for a minute at the base of this tree. Icy, you still have that nut I gave you?" She nods and hands it to me. "Here," I say to the man. "Take this in your right hand. Hold it tight in your fist. Here, settle down at the base of this tree."

The man seems to fold and then collapse exhausted at the roots of the tree.

"Relax, just relax." I soothe in a soft voice. "No one can harm you. You can feel the nut in your hand and the tree behind you and there are leaves around you as well. All of these will give you energy and peace and comfort. Please, just relax," I say to him.

From one of my belt pouches I produce a square fruit and my skinning knife. I slice a segment from the fruit. "There. That's better now, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is. Can you help me. Make sure they won't get me!"

"I'm going to try to do just that. I want you to eat this section of fruit. It's safe and good. It's a bit bitter, but it'll help you. I'll play you some more music and you just rest easy. Nothing or no one can hurt you here." I hand the fruit to him and he eats it, but it's obvious that he doesn't like it much.

"Linger," I say to him. "Go build me a fire a bit off the path. I want to make some tea for this man. Let me know when you have done that." I play more lullaby music and it isn't long before the man is snoring.

Linger returns and tells me he has the fire going. "Good," I say. "You watch this man. He shouldn't wake up before I am finished; but if he does, I want to know. Icy, please come with me."

We walk over to the fire and I start the tea. I show Icy how to crush the leaves and which leaves I'll use for this tea. "I suppose I need to put some more fruit juice in it. He won't like it because of the bitter taste. It can't be helped."

I start to squeeze the fruit and pound the peel.

"Master, what kind of fruit is it and why did it help that man so quickly?"

"It's Pong fruit. Wasn't sure it would work so well, but it was a good place to start. Here try some." I offer her another section and she eats it, but she makes the awfullest face. "Bitter, huh? But it does have its uses."

"What kind of uses, master? I have never heard of it. How did you know it would help him?"

"One of the uses is to help people whose minds have been affected one way or another with hallucinations and the like."

Icy groans. "I will never learn all of this."

"Sure you will. Remember the throclefruit rhyme?"

"You mean crystal for the pod and steel for the fruit?"

"Exactly! A lot of what we healers learn is mostly by observation and trial and error. Here is another rhyme for you to remember. Never mind that the Pong fruit is tart, when healing minds this is the place to start."

"'Never mind that the Pong fruit is tart, when healing minds this is the place to start.' Hmmm, that helps a lot."

"Thought it might. The tea's nearly ready too." I pour the tea into a cup. "We'll take it to that man and see if it helps him." So, saying we head back to the clearing. Just as we reach it, the man starts to wake up.

"Hey! Where am I? Who am I?"

"Now, just relax sir. I've a lovely cup of tea for you." I say as I hand him the cup.

He drinks it up and doesn't like the taste of the bitter, but somehow manages to finish it.

"Dat good tea, huh?" Linger asks.

"Uh, no, not really. I think I needed that though. I feel a bit better. Just how did I get here?"

"I need you to hold on to that nut in your fist and keep remembering as much as you can about who you are and where you come from. That's important. Do you think you can do that for us?"

"Sure, I think so. I know that my name is Finn Flounder. I am a fisherman. Got a boat I use near Seaside. Never seen this place before though. Exactly where am I?"

"You're in the Distant Woods. You aren't too far from Seaside Town."

"I remember running, running very fast. Faster and faster and . . ."

"That's okay. Never mind that. You say you don't remember getting here."

"That's right. The last thing I remember a woman was looking over my fish at the market. She told me that there was a log of treasure in these woods. Next thing I know I'm waking up under this tree. What happened anyway?"

"Could've been a mindbender."

"Wot dat. Dat sound bad."

"It's bad, Linger, they're sometimes called soul witches."

"Soul witches," Icy says with a huge shiver. "I've heard of them. Once they get ahold of you, well it's bad."

"What did this woman look like?" I ask him.

"Pretty thing. She was old, I remember that. She had spiky green hair, and big black eyes, and the reddest lips I've ever seen."

"Dat don't sound purdy to me."

"Spiky green hair, black eyes and red lips. Could be that his mind was affected and his memories may not be what he thought he saw." Icy says, "I think that has happened before sometimes."

"Well, anyway, are you up to traveling? Or would you prefer to rest a bit more?"

"I'd like to travel. Need to go back to town to look after my fish.That's my living."

Linger helps Finn up and we start off. It doesn't take long to arrive in Seaside Town. There seems to be some commotion near the haunted mansion.

"I wonder what's going on over there?" Icy asks and we go to investigate. We find lots of people trying to break through some kind of barrier.

"They don't seem to need our help. Hey, wait, who's this then?" I say and looking down I see a little girl crying as if her heart would break. "What's wrong, little girl?"

"M-m-m-my mommy told me never to talk to strangers." She cries.

"Well, that's a good idea," I say, bending down to one knee and putting myself on her level. "Tell you what. Suppose I tell you who I am and then I won't be a stranger, will I?"

The girl seems to dry her tears. She looks up at me pleading for help.

"My name's Sassy Snake," I tell her. "These are my friends Linger the troll, and Icy. Now that we aren't strangers, maybe it might be all right to tell me what's wrong?"

"My name is P-P-Pete. My mom and some nice penguin came looking for me and they got trapped behind the barrier. I don't know what to do. Can you help them? Can you help me?"

"Well," I say, "that's a very sad story. Looks like lots of others are trying to get through the barrier and I'm sure they can find your mom. What say we go have something to eat and take it easy for tonight. Are you hungry?"

She shakes her head yes and dries more tears and we head off with our little charge to find a nice eatery.

 


I feel like this piece played to Sassy's strengths. She goes back to the idea of a mindbender later on of course, although the NPC there isn't seen again that I remember.

This was the only piece posted while I was off on that family trip to Maine- which is why Mary Kate's handler posted it, if you wondered, on behalf of Sassy Snake and her handler Rick. Next up, Mary Kate meets a new face to AIL. Check it out!

 
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 Kingdom of Loathing (KOL) is an original parody RPG online game that apparently has something to do with Asymmetric Publications, LLC, and something called a Jick, who's copyrighted and trademarked the. THIS (Adventures in Loathing) is the archive for an interactive writing game based on KOL, and a specific clan within- the Kingdom of KOL. Specific characters belong to their specific owners, specifically, unless specifically stated otherwise. This game was developed by Joshua A. Dexter, with rules based in part on (with permission) Mercenary and Equinox. This is a non profit game done for entertainment purposes only. If a rash develops on your imagination, desist use immediately and consult a physician, psychologist, or 1-900 psychic for further assistance. KOL forums, store,  the KOL TVTrope,   entry at AnswersKOL's entry at Archive.org, and it's entry at Wikipedia, and KOL's own wiki. - JAD

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